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It Gets Better

Red eyes followed his every move as he continued to type on his laptop, he sighed and whirled around facing the man that had come through his window. He rubbed at his tired eyes, he hadn't been able to sleep at all, the nightmares from everything that's been happening weighing him down. "I'm almost done Derek." But the man never replied, he just grunted.

He was getting close to snapping, he hated that they only ever thought about him when they needed something, they never just dropped by. He turned back to his computer, fist clenched in order to calm himself.

'Calm yourself, getting angry will do nothing but get myself tossed into a fall with a threat.' He thought to himself. 'Well, I kinda like getting tossed into the wall, at least then he touches me...' He stopped himself from thinking anymore. He didn't want Derek to be able to sniff the arousal around him. That's when he decided he'd had enough of this, he sighed, closed his laptop lid down, and looked back at Derek.

"I want you to leave." He said in a firm voice. He was just so tired of being treated like shit, he was tired of never being good enough, honestly, he was just tired of living. "Stiles, I need that research NOW!" Derek growled out at him. "Then get Lydia to finish it off. I'll send it to her email." Stiles said getting up only to be tossed into the wall. He let out a manly squeak of course before grabbing onto Derek's hands in order to try and get him off of him. "Didn't you hear me Derek. I said I want you to leave." He turned his head to the side, effectively not looking at those beady red eyes that continued to look at him.

If Derek didn't leave soon, Stiles might end up saying something he might regret. He was already to close to the edge, honestly he was just hanging on by a thin thread that was ready to let go. The tears were almost threatening to spill but he tried to keep them away. He couldn't let Derek know that he was the reason for his pain. It wasn't physical pain, it was more mental and emotional.

'Honestly, his words hurt worse then Jackson's and that's saying something.' The thoughts wouldn't leave him. He just wanted to sit on his bed, curl up into a ball and cry away the pain so he could put on a fake smile tomorrow at school. No one knew, no one knew who he was, who he truly was, not even his real name.

He finally felt Derek back away. "Fine, give Lydia the research, at least she's willing to help the pack." Derek scoffed out while he was jumping out the window. After he was sure Derek was gone, Stiles slid down the wall to his butt, pulling his knees up to his chest, and just cried. He cried for his mother who he'd never see again, cried for the fact that he was a worthless burden, that his own father couldn't look him in the eyes anymore. Sure his dad knew all about the Werewolves, but didn't know how badly each time Stiles had been hurt protecting the pack.

He sat there thinking about everything that's ever happened since his so called best friend got bitten by Peter Hale. Then, after finally somewhat settling down, he met Allison Argent, and there was no time for Stiles after that. 'Three weeks ago.. that was the last time Scott and I actually hang out, just the two of us.' Stiles didn't want to seem like a horrible friend, but in the end, he just gave up. He couldn't help it, nobody wanted him unless it was research, he was just a human that just got hurt. He couldn't fight like Allison, couldn't do anything. His Spark never helped him. He even went to Dr Deaton and nothing worked.

"I should just leave." He muttered to himself. "Why not just end the pain. No one wants me around, hell my own father doesn't." He clenched his fists into his hair, slightly pulling at it. He couldn't cut cause of the wolves, but he tended to beat on himself or go out just to pick fights, to get beat up. That way, when he said what happened, they didn't hear the skip the heart makes when you lie. He hates that. The way they can tell if you are lying.

"Fucking lie detectors. Fucking werewolves." He slammed his hand onto the floor. His father wasn't home so he continued to pound on the floor, continued to pound until he couldn't feel anything. That's when he realized what he had done, he could feel it, the broken bones in his hand. "Fuck!" He screamed to himself. He sighed, getting up while using the wall of course and slowly walked down the stairs. He grabbed his keys, went to the keep and drove one handed to the hospital.

He looked down at his hand, Mrs McCall looked at him. "Wanna tell me what happened?" She asked quietly. He sighed. "Not really." He said looking away. The doctor had just finished putting a cast on his hand, he decided to go with blue. "Stiles." She said. "I said, not really." He said in a firmer voice. He got up, and walked away. Luckily they didn't call his father, that wouldn't have ended well. He was able to leave the hospital, he was so glad they never called anymore to be honest. He didn't want to deal with the pack, and that's who he knew Mrs McCall would call.

Just as he got into his jeep, he heard his phone ringing. He looked at the ID and it was "Lydia Martin" he sighed, he didn't feel like answering it. He had already emailed the stuff even before he said he would to Derek and she was probably calling to complain that she didn't have the time to do it. He hit ignore and hoped that she wouldn't call again. Unfortunately he spoke to soon because she called right back. He decided to put his phone in the glove compartment with his good hand and drive off, one handed of course.

He didn't know how long he drove for, he didn't know when he stopped, or why. He just stopped. He opened his car door, smelling the fresh clean air. He took one step forward, that's when he noticed where he was, where everything started, well part of it. Ahead of him was the forest, the forest where Scott was bitten.

"Funny, you always end up where the worst thing happens. First the hospital, now here. What are you telling me mom?" He asked himself knowing no one could hear him, well he was hoping no one was listening in. He walked to the other side of his car, grabbing his phone, locking the car and decided to walk. Walk through the forest, perhaps it was fitting.

'Maybe, just maybe this is where my end will be...' He just walked, continued till he couldn't walk no more, his feet stopped, knees slamming into the cold dirty mud floor beneath him. He fell forward, hand clenching in the mud. 'Is this how it will be, gasping for air while I..' he couldn't finish the thought, he heard a twig snap to his left, looking in that general direction, he wasn't shocked when he saw Issac standing there.

"Stiles..." Issac trailed off. "Sorry pup." Stiles said, "What you doing out here puppy?"

"I went to the house looking for you." Issac stated. "When I couldn't find you, well I had Danny trace your phone." He shifted on his feet, looking guilty and nervous. "I was worried about you. What did you do to your hand?" Stiles didn't feel like answering.

"Its nothing, don't worry about it." Which wasn't a lie, it was nothing, and it didn't need to be worried about. Now, as long as Issac didn't use his nose to smell the pain he was okay. "Stiles. What's going on? Derek came back all pissed off and angry with you." Stiles just shrugged.

"I told him to leave." Issac looked at Stiles in shock. "You told him to leave!" Issac yelled "Are you stupid!" Stiles couldn't help but flinch at that. "You don't tell Derek to leave! He's our Alpha! He-"

"Enough Issac!" Stiles said cutting him off. "He's not my Alpha, I'm not a fucking werewolf!" Stiles stood up. "Look, I'm fine. You didn't need to worry about me, you didn't need to come and find me alright. I'm just having a bad day. I'll be fine by tomorrow." He faced back the way he came. "I'll see you tomorrow." He just started to walk, he didn't care at this moment, didn't care if he was going the wrong way. He just didn't want to be around any of the wolves and their senses.

In the end, he lied to his father in the morning, said he fell down the stairs, and his arm for caught the railing on the way down. He said he wasn't feeling well, he just didn't want to face his friends at school. Luckily his father allowed him to stay home. "Call me if you need anything okay?" His father said. "Yeah. I will." He smiled and waved his father off.

He locked his window and decided he didn't feel like having any Wolf come through so he put Wolfsbane on it. He booted up his laptop, seeing that he had emails but didn't feel like looking at them. One that surprised him was the fact that one was from Jackson. Sighing, he opened it.

Stiles,

What the hell man, you don't answer your phone, you don't show up at school. Look, I ain't worried about you, but the gangs bitching and I don't feel like listening anymore. Get your ass to school.

Jackson.

He finished reading it and couldn't help but laugh, they probably thought if Jackson wrote it he would be scared and show up. What they don't know is that he just doesn't care anymore. He's already given up, he just wanted someone to love him for who he is, but alas that doesn't seem to be possible anymore. After what happened with Gerard Argent, he just felt numb. He didn't even sleep last night, the fear of screaming himself or his father awake just did him in.

He heard tapping at his window. He looked over at it, shocked to find that it was Peter, not Derek. He walked over to it. He wasn't gonna unlock it or move the mountain ash. "What do you want?" He asked knowing that the wolf could hear him. After being revived and not killing people, Peter was actually a pretty decent guy. "I just wanna talk with you. You gonna let me in?" Peter asked.

"You gonna yell at me? Bite me? Threaten me?" Stiles asked.

"Nope. Just wanna talk." Stiles sighed, breaking a line in the mountain ash and unlocking his window before sitting on his bed. "Talk."

"What's going on Stiles? Everyone's worried about you ya know. Derek realized something wasn't right a few hours after he left." Stiles looked away. Peter was always someone he could talk to, Peter was honestly the only one that knew some of the things that haunted him.

"Honestly Peter," Stiles started. "Everything." He looked up at the ceiling. "Is it so wrong to just want to give up."

Peter sighed, he sat on the bed in front of Stiles. "I understand that, after the fire I wanted to give up too. In my mind, 3/4 of my family was gone. I only had Derek, Laura, and Cora, but I killed Laura."

"Peter. I don't wanna be here anymore." That's when it happened, the dam finally burst. Stiles just started to sob, he screamed, and Peter let him. Peter grabbed him and held him to his chest, rubbing up and down his back. "I know Stiles, I know."

Peter just continued to hold him. Peter was the only person he trusted right now, Peter never laughed or anything when Stiles was in this kind of mood. Peter just held him and let him cry, over and over again. "It will get better Stiles. It will take time, but it will get better." Stiles just shook his head.

"I can't forgive him." Peter just 'Hm'ed' at him. "Derek, I can't forgive him. As much as I like him, I can't seem to forgive him for not finding me fast enough after what happened with Gerard." Peter rang his fingers through Stiles' hair.

"Why do you feel that way?" Stiles just gripped Peter tighter. "If Derek had found me faster, Gerard wouldn't have been able to.." he couldn't finish the sentence. "I-I've tried to forgive him, I-I-I just can't." Stiles was stuttering now. Peter was trying to calm him down, if he didn't Stiles was gonna go into a panic attack.

"Perhaps this is something you should talk to Derek about?" Stiles shook his head. "No. That's not a good idea."

"Why not?" Peter asked pulling Stiles' face to him. "It would crush him.." Peter sighed. "Stiles, you know how good our noses are. When we all got there, we know what Gerard did to you. We could smell it. Derek, he cares so much about you ya know. He just, he pushes people he cares away, that way he won't get hurt in the end." Stiles leaned away from Peter.

"I doubt he cares about me Peter. If he did, he wouldn't always hurt me. He wouldn't say or do things that upset me." Stiles stood up and started pacing. That's when he rounded on Peter. "If he cared so god damn much, he would have saved me! He wouldn't have let Gerard take me in the first place! But no! NO NO NO!" Stiles just kept screaming 'No' over and over again. Peter let him, he needed to get this all out. He needed to vent.

'I'm surprised it took this long, its been about 7 weeks since he last vented at me.' Peter thought. "Stiles."

Stiles stopped pacing and screaming and looked at Peter. "I should talk to him shouldn't I..." Peter nodded. "He needs to know. He needs to know everything." Stiles fell to his knees. "I don't know if I can do that Peter... I don't think that's a good idea. It will hurt him Peter, it will crush him."

"Stiles. That's enough now." They both looked at the window, there stood Derek. "Peter, leave." Peter nodded and kissed Stiles forehead before heading to the window. "Its time Stiles, time to stop running." were Peter's last words and he was gone.

"Derek-" Stiles cut himself off, wetting his lips. "H-how long were you standing there for?"

"Long enough." Stiles shoulders dropped with that answer. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

Stiles looked away from Derek. "I never wanted you to know. You were there since Peter came in weren't you?" He saw Derek nod. "Peter said to trust him on this, he said you weren't ever gonna tell me yourself, so I needed to listen."

"Wow Sourwolf, that's the longest you have ever spoken." Stiles said sarcastically.

"Stiles!" Derek snapped.

"Wha-" He never got the chance to finish before he was shoved into the wall, lips planted onto his. He moaned, closing his eyes, slowly moving his lips back against Derek's. Derek pulled back. "I care about you Stiles, I really do. I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough to save you, I'm sorry I never told you the truth Genim."

Stiles flinched back. "How did you?" Derek chuckled. "I've always known, you might not remember but we grew somewhat up together. Our parents were friends."

Stiles couldn't believe this, he was just too shocked. "You're my mate Stiles, I didn't want to force you to be with me for that reason. I wanted you to be with me cause you wanted to. I am sorry I pushed you away." Stiles understood, he really did. He was just too shocked right now to really understand.

Derek leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Stiles, kissing his forehead. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you again okay. Never again." Stiles just nodded. "We have much to make up for and I'm gonna fix that. I'm gonna fix everything."

~ 2 Months Later ~

Things did get better, but they also got worse at times. There was times Stiles wouldn't respond to anyone, but Derek was able to pull him out of it. Stiles did apologize to Issac for snapping on him, Stiles did get better. Derek, Stiles, the Pack. Everything was gonna be okay from now on..

The End