1:
Warning: if your under 18 plz get out, NOW!
Ness:
I was only 13 years old.
I loved Donkey Kong so much, I had all the merchandise and games.
I pray to Donkey Kong every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given.
"DK is love" I say; "DK is life"
My dad (Phone guy from FNAF) hears me and calls me a fa***t.
I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Donkey Kong.
I called him a c**t.
He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep.
I'm crying now, and my face hurts.
I lay in bed and it's really cold.
Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me.
It's Donkey Kong.
I am so happy.
He whispers into my ear "I'll shower you with coconut creampie."
He grabs me with his powerful gorilla hands and puts me down on my hands and knees.
We both say "Okay"
I'm ready.
I spread my a** cheeks for Donkey Kong.
He pe*****tes my b***hole.
It hurts so much but I do it for Donkey Kong.
I can feel his juicy d**g expanding within as my eyes start to water.
I push against his force.
I want to please Donkey Kong.
He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my bu** with his coconut creampie.
My dad walks in.
DK looks him straight in the eyes and says "Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells."
Donkey Kong leaves through my window.
DK is love. DK is life.
watch?v=hjOQfmdxMmk
2:
I kept warning and warning and warning and warning, so don't say I didn't warn ya and take this post down because it's dirty
Ness:
It's the last day of school and I'm in my last class.
I'm talking to my super cool teacher.
I thank him for a kongtastic year.
He says: it was Ghastly to be with you.
No... it can't be...
I turn towards him.
It's just as I suspected.
It was Ghastly King, this whole time...
I lunge after him, trying to lodge coconuts in his pretty king re***m, but it was no use...
As I uncover his a**s, Tiki Tong emerges and puts a banana restriction spell on me.
Stop monkeying around.
Just as I thought my last banana was being stripped from my soul, DK crashes through the ceiling.
Yes...
Without any hesitation, DK grabs Ghastly by the d***, rips it off and rapid fire punches him with it.
Tiki Tong tried to fly away but DK pulled out his coconut gun.
Tiki Tong burns to ashes.
DK restores my bananas, and gives me a coconut.
I go home with a sore a**s from his massive monkey-sized coconut gun.
DK is love... DK... is life...
watch?v=hjOQfmdxMmk Don't forget to turn this and the original into image or video form...