Finally! The third and final part of All I... series. I like the ended. Okay, so Draco might be a little OOC, but I like it anyway. I hope you do too! ^_^
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"I hate you both," Harry spoke his voice breaking halfway through, "Why did you have to...How could you?"
Glaring down at the gravestones he waited a moment for an answer that he knew would never come. No matter how many times he said the question aloud there was never an answer and that hurt more and more each time.
In the end though he knew it didn't matter. Even if he got an answer nothing that was said would make any difference. It was always going to feel as if part of him had been ripped away. And it had been.
He had lost so much over the years, but for some reason it felt so much worse than before. Maybe because he had planned what their future would be like. Because they did deserve to have a good future. And they had been so close… So close.
The war had waged angrily around them. People were falling left and right. At least that's what he had been told. In truth, he couldn't really remember what was happening while everyone was fighting. All he knew was that he needed to end it once and for all.
The first person he realized was gone was Severus. Well, that's not right. He was there when the man was dying. He stared into the black eyes that he both loved and hated as the light slowly dimmed until he was gone.
Harry doubted that he was ever going to be able to get that sight out of his head. After their time getting past everything that had happened between them the only thing he was ever going to remember was that look.
As he walked back to the castle with Hermione and Ron he felt numb. He had had troubles with Severus for so long, but he still cared for the man. He had become part of his family over the years and he was gone.
Then they got to the castle. Death and destruction were everywhere. His eyes darted over the scene trying to take in as much as he could, but he knew that he wasn't truly taking anything in. There was just too much.
Walking inside the Great Hall he expected… At least he hoped… Hoped that Spencer would be there to greet him. That Lupin and Tonks would be smiling in the background. That all of the Weasley family would hug him tightly.
That wasn't what he saw though. For every person that was alive two people were dead. They had lost so many people and he couldn't help but blame himself for it all. They died so he could fight Voldemort.
At first he had been angry at himself and Voldemort, but after the war ended he found himself hiding away in at Sirius...His house… thinking. The faces of the people that he had lost ran through his head and he found himself getting more resentful.
He had, sadly, gotten used to not having his parents in his life. It hurt all the time, but he hadn't known anything different. They simply were never there. With Lupin and Tonks and Fred they had been friends and he loved them with all his heart.
Then he thought to his aunt and her boyfriend. They had brought him into their life and let him know what it felt like to have a family for the first time. They also let him know what his parents were like. They opened a whole other world for him.
He hated them for that. In the back of his mind he knew that it wasn't right that he was blaming Spencer and Severus for dying, but that did nothing to stop him. He had grown close to the two of them over the years and now they were gone.
It wasn't until he was thirteen that the two of them pushed their way into his life and now they were gone. How could they make themselves such a huge part of his everyday only to be taken out of it without any warning?
It felt like it had happened in the blink of an eye. One second they're talking about fighting and keeping everyone safe and the next the two of them are dead. Why was it no one there to keep them safe?
The worst part though was that the more he thought about the more he realized that in their minds this was the only outcome for them. Since they got together and started to fight in the war they knew that it would only end in death for them.
Still, they had let him into their lives and he had been so happy for that. At least while it lasted. It was hard at the beginning to get to know his aunt and Severus, but slowly they pushed past everything in the past and became a family.
It took him years to finally figure it out, but because of Hogwarts he finally was able to learn what a true family was. Not just because of Spencer and Severus, but because of the Weasley's Sirius, Remus, Hagrid, Hermione, and so many more.
He had something in his life that he could cherish. Or...He used to have something in his life that he could cherish. It no longer felt like that at points in time even though he hadn't lost all of the people in his life.
It felt so wrong that he was still around when they weren't. It was his battle to fight. One that only he could win. How was it right that he was one of the people that actually survived through the war?
Sighing he moved so he was sitting on the ground. He felt more worn down than he had ever felt before. He was just so tired of being angry and hurt. He was so tired of looking for people that he was never going to see again. He was just so tired.
Behind him he could hear student and teachers working to make Hogwarts look as it had once more. They were much closer than before, but there was still so much to do. It would be a long time before the school would be back up.
A shadow covered his face a moment later causing him to look up. Draco stood there his face completely blank as he lowered himself down so he was sitting next to Harry. They simply sat there in silence both waiting for the Gryffindor to speak.
It was something that the two of them had started to do since the end of their third year. If one of them was having a hard time they'd simply sit next to the other and wait. Letting them know that they were there no matter what.
That's not to say they were friends. Both of them knew that the other was trapped between a rock and a hard place with nowhere to run. They understood what the other was doing even if they didn't understand their position.
"I hate them," Harry whispered after a moment, "I hate them so much."
"So do I," Draco responded just as gently.
"How could they leave me? I needed them."
"No you don't."
Green eyes turned to glare angrily at the other man only to realize that he wasn't even looking at him. Instead Draco was running his fingers over the words on his uncles gravestone as if he was trying to memorize the words.
"Draco..." Harry started his voice hard.
"You're one of the strongest people that I know, Harry," Draco ground out icy silver eyes finally looking to glare at the man, "You and the people that you surround yourself with are strong."
"What if I don't want to be strong anymore?"
"You don't have a choice. You're always going to be the person that you are and there's nothing you can do about that."
"I don't want..."
"It doesn't matter what you want or don't want. You can complain and you can run as far away as you want, but you are never going to change who you are. Now stop disrespecting them."
Harry blinked his eyes in shock as the Slytherin stood up. There was so much anger and power in his voice that for a moment the younger man remembered the person that the blond used to be when they were younger.
There was an authority about Draco that always surprised Harry whenever he saw it though he knew it shouldn't. The older man was strong in his own way and he was growing into that strength as every day passed.
"I'm not..." Harry tried to say moving to his feet as well.
"Yes, you are," Draco rolled his eyes taking a step forward, "You're disrespecting every single one of their memories. Your parents, your aunt, your friends, and everyone that fought in that war. They died for everyone to have a better life not because of you. Quit thinking about yourself!"
For a moment it felt as if Harry's heart had stopped. No one had spoken to him like that in so long. Truthfully, the only person that ever talked to him like that was Draco. He was honest in a way no one else was.
It wasn't that Hermione and Ron weren't there for their friend, but it was different. They wanted the best without pushing and yelling at the man. They thought of him as fragile and he thought of them the same way.
Draco took that thought and threw it out the window. He was going to say what was on his mind and he was going to make whomever he was talking to listen. The last thing he was going to do was waste his breath.
"It hurts," Harry muttered his arms coming to wrap around himself.
"It does," Draco nodded before sighing, "But you can't live in that hurt. Unless you want their deaths to be in vain."
"What do you suggest I do then? Just forget everything that happened? Forget how many people are gone now?"
"No, of course not. Never forget what happened. Just don't let that became all that you are. Mourn the loss of your family and friends. Mourn the loss of the people you never met. Then live to your fullest because that was what they died for."
Staring into the silver eyes Harry couldn't help but smile slightly. For the first time since the war he felt as if someone was actually listening and understanding to what he was saying instead of simply listening.
Of course, the Slytherin wasn't going to let him get away with anything. They were the oddest kind of couple and he needed that in his world. He was more than happy to know that the man would be in his life now.
"I never knew you were so smart, Draco," Harry teased gently, "Never knew you'd help me."
"I didn't help you for you," Draco rolled his eyes, "Whether you think it or not my Uncle did care for you. I did this for him."
"Right. Of course."
Wrapping an arm around Draco's shoulder Harry pulled him towards the castle knowing that there was food inside. Maybe he had lost part of his family, but he wasn't going to let that be the only thing he remembered of them. He wasn't going to disrespect them like that.