This is an idea that popped into my head and I was buzzing with ideas but was stuck at work and so could only scream at Reppinda5o3 about it. And here it is!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, or the title, which comes from a gorgeous song, Bird by Billie Marten. Give it a listen, I'm in love.

Alexander Lightwood slammed the door behind him as he stormed inside, and stripped out of his jacket, throwing it in the direction of his wardrobe. Sweat was dripping from his hair, down his forehead and to his eyebrows, and he swiped a hand over his face as he headed toward the adjoining bathroom. He turned on the shower and pulled off the rest of his clothes, dropping them into a puddle on the floor, idly thinking that his partner would probably be pissed at the mess on the ground, but right now, he just needed to get into the shower, wash off, get changed and then get back to his office. He had already been out of there for over an hour, and he had so many mission reports he needed to proof before sending them up to the Clave, and then he had even more requests that had come down from the Clave that he needed to go through and assign out to Shadowhunters to investigate and work on.

Alec washed himself quickly, using the citrus body wash that he had only admitted to himself that he loved, and scrubbed at his hair, getting rid of the sweat and dirt from the day and the work out that he had just had. When he got out, he wiped the mirror down with the hand towel and stared at his reflection.

His eyes weren't their usual warm brown colour, they looked a little bloodshot and dull, and his face wasn't the healthy tanned colour, it was pale and drawn, his cheeks looking a little gaunt.

He hadn't really eaten anything proper in a while, he admitted to himself.

He was pretty sure that it had been over a week since he had sat down and actually ate a full meal, it had all been protein bars and shakes on the run, on his way to meetings, throughout a conference call with the council.

But Alec couldn't think about that right now.

He had things he needed to do.

Alec scrubbed his towel through his hair, drying it as much as he could, and then began to dry down his body, before tying the towel around his waist. He walked out of the bathroom and into the main room when he stopped short at the sight of Jace Herondale standing in front of him, arms crossed over his chest, obviously waiting for him to come back in.

He and Jace had been sparring in one of the training rooms downstairs.

And then they'd had a fight and Alec stormed off.

Well, it wasn't exactly a fight, because a fight implies that there were arguments from both side, however it had mainly just been Alec snapping and shouting and Jace looking at him with raised eyebrows, and then Alec had thrown down the feather staff that he had been using and had left the room. Jace had obviously showered downstairs, in the changing rooms of the training area, because his blonde hair was damp and slicked back, and he was now in a pair of low slung grey sweatpants and new shirt.

If Alec wasn't so stressed and busy and anxious to get back to work then he would take a moment to appreciate his boyfriend, but instead, he just tried to side step around him.

"Alec," Jace stated, his voice low but firm.

"I don't have time for this right now," Alec replied. Jace might not have said what it was he wanted to talk about, but Alec knew that it would be about what had happened down in the training room.

Alec was wound up tight.

Three weeks ago, a warlock had been killed by a vampire.

And now, the two sides were on the brink of war, and the Shadowhunters were trying to keep it from spilling out onto the streets, involving the mundanes. It was taking a lot, and Alec was operating on just a few hours of sleep each night, and he hated that he had to rely so heavily on the people around him. Jace and Isabelle Lightwood and Clarissa Morgenstern had barely had a minute to breathe, and then Jace and Clary had gone rogue a few days ago, which had caused even more problems.

Alec knew that they had made the right decision, and he wouldn't have sent them out into the field if he didn't think that they would take the necessary steps to keep control of a situation, and he knew that neither of them were particularly fond of rules, and tended to break them, especially when they were together. But they had still caused a mess for him to clean up.

Isabelle's relationship with a seelie knight, Meliorn Hassouné, was also causing trouble because two months ago, a Shadowhunter had been killed on seelie territory, and they were still trying to find out what had happened.

Werewolf leadership had also recently changed, and the new leader, Theo Cohen, was volatile, and didn't want to come to an agreement with the Shadowhunters.

In short, the New York Institute had a hell of a shit show to deal with recently, and Alec was the one who took every hit, every complaint, every injury, every problem to heart and carried it on his shoulders because he was responsible, as the Head of the Institute.

And he was failing.

Miserably.

People weren't safe.

Shadowhunters weren't safe, and those were his people.

It had been Raj Ablack who had been killed just a few months ago, and he had been someone that Alec had known since he was a kid. They had trained together and gone on countless missions together, and now he was dead, and they had no idea who it was who had killed him. That was on Alec. It was his responsibility to find out who had killed their friend and colleague.

Just like it was his responsibility to find out which vampire had killed Catarina Loss.

That one was personal as well, because Catarina had been close with one of Alec's best friends and his first real boyfriend, Magnus Bane. The warlocks were working overtime to try and find out who it was who had killed the woman, and if they didn't, then there was going to be one hell of a war. Magnus was only just managing to keep the warlocks at bay, and he wasn't going to be able to keep it up for much longer.

"Alec," Jace repeated, this time a little louder, firmer, and his eyes were determined. Alec didn't see that though, didn't see the way Jace's mouth was set, because he was at the set of drawers that the pair of them shared.

"Jace—I can't do this right now!" Alec's breathing was becoming quicker, his bare chest rising and falling as he fumbled through the drawer to find a shirt to wear. He pulled out a black one with a silver logo on the front, he was pretty sure it was actually Jace's, so it would be a little snug on him, but it would be a small comfort to wear something with his boyfriends cologne on it. "I've gotta get back to my office, I've gotta—"

"Alec!" Jace snapped, although it was obvious that it wasn't out of anger, it was just to get his attention, to get Alec to calm down and look at him properly. Jace saw Alec's shoulders slump as he took in a deep breath. He finally turned around, although his eyes were on the ground, on Jace's feet, rather than looking up at him. Jace gave him a few moments to breathe before he stepped forward, reaching out with one hand and loosely twining his fingers with Alec's. "You need to take a break. You need to stay here and relax and then get a good nights sleep."

"I've got briefs I need to do, and Isabelle and Clary said that they had a lead—"

"They've got it under control," Jace interrupted.

"I need to go through a bunch of mission reports—"

"Lydia is going to look through them," Jace cut him off again. Alec frowned and looked up at him. Finally.

"They need to be signed off by the Head of the—"

"I know," Jace raised an eyebrow. "And Lydia used to be the Head of the Institute, and until she leaves to go take over Lisbon Institute, she still has signing authority, and she is more than happy to help out." Alec's eyes flickered around Jace's face, and Jace knew that he was trying to scramble for some other reason as to why he couldn't take just a few hours away from his job.

"I can't..." Alec's voice trailed off, sounding slightly desperate, not wanting to slow down.

If he slowed down, he was just going to think about all the things that he had been doing wrong.

All the people he was letting down.

All the problems that he was letting unfold.

"You can," Jace's voice was firm and he stepped forward, so that he was right up in Alec's space and Alec had to take a step backward. Jace did it again, and again, until the backs of Alec's legs hit the frame of the bed. Then Jace stepped forward once more, and Alec sat down, ass bouncing on the bed once before he settled into the mattress.

Then Jace dropped to his knees in front of Alec and the dark haired man could barely bite back the groan that rose in his throat.

Jace on his knees was a powerful thing.

Jace was proud and confident and he didn't just get down on his knees and give up that position of control on his feet for anyone.

But he did for Alec.

Only for Alec.

"You're beating yourself up, Alec," Jace murmured quietly as he reached for the knot of the towel at Alec's waist. "You need to stop. You need to give yourself a break." That was what their fight downstairs had been about. Alec was tired and even with the stamina and speed runes burnt into his arm, his body was desperate for sleep and his movements were slow. Jace kept beating him, quicker than him at every move, and he kept trying to tell Alec to stop, that they should stop, but Alec had just kept on attacking, eyebrows furrowed, feeling as though he deserved the pain that Jace was reluctantly inflicting on him.

"I'm fine..." Alec's words were soft, mournful.

"You're not fine," Jace tugged at the knot and then slowly pushed the towel away from his waist, so that it fell on either side of Alec's thighs. Jace gently ran his hands down Alec's thighs, palms smoothing over the fine hairs, until he reached Alec's knees. Then he let his hands continue further down, twisting so that they traveled over Alec's calves, and then down to his ankles. When they reached Alec's ankles, his fingers circled around, clasping them tightly, thumbs pressing in firmly against his skin, and Alec's breathing hitched. "I need you to do something for me, okay, Alec?" Jace's hands began moving back up, stroking his strong, muscular legs, fingers dragging up the sensitive skin of his inner thighs and he watched as Alec's cock visibly began to harden.

"What?" Alec choked out.

"I need you to breathe. I need you to relax. I need..." Jace blinked up at Alec slowly from behind pale eyelashes, and he purposefully bit down on the corner of his plump lower lip, and he saw Alec's eyes zone in on the motion. "I need you to let me look after you, okay?" Alec swallowed hard, Jace watched his throat contract, and then his lips parted, and he let out a shaky breath. "Alec?" Jace began leaning forward, pressing Alec's knees further apart. "Can you do that?" Alec took in a hitching breath and then dipped his head in a slight nod. Jace moved in closer, hands moving from Alec's thighs and around his hips, towards his lower back. His mouth was so close, only a few inches away from Alec's cock, which was fully hard now. Alec could feel Jace's warm breath against the head, and his teeth bit into his lower lip, pressing indents into the pink flesh. "I need you to say it, Alec," Jace said slowly, still looking up at Alec, his golden eyes heated and glowing.

"I...Can do that," Alec breathed out and Jace responded by closing the gap between them and laving his tongue over the head of Alec's cock, the dark haired man jerking and letting out a bitten off groan. His hips jerked up, chasing after Jace's mouth, and Jace let him, opening his mouth and taking him in. "Shit...Jace..." Alec moaned out, his fingers gripping at the thick blue and black duvet cover on their shared bed. Jace sucked the head into his mouth, swirling his tongue around before pressing it against the frenulum before sliding further down. His hands were still pressed against Alec's lower back, so he didn't circle one around the base of Alec's cock like he usually might. Instead, he slowly worked his mouth down further and further, spit gathering and slipping down the shaft, making it easier for Jace.

Before the pair of them had gotten together, Jace had never been in this position before.

He had never been with a man and he had never been in love.

Or, maybe he had always loved his parabatai just a little bit, but he hadn't admitted it.

There had been Clary, and they had been good together, for almost two years, and she had taught him a lot. She had helped him to let go, to not always take himself so seriously, to have fun. She was also the one who helped him realize the way he felt about Alec, and she had bowed out of their relationship with a gentle kiss on his cheek and a promise that she would always be there for him.

He had never loved her, though.

Not in the way that he loved Alec.

And he had never wanted to look after her this much.

Not in the way that wanted to look after Alec.

Alec's breathing was laboured as Jace's motions became faster. His hands slipped down further, so that they were no longer splayed against Alec's lower back, so that they were gripping the top of his ass, fingers stretching out toward the crease, and he pushed, not too gently, forcing Alec to fuck slowly into his mouth. Alec kept trying to increase the pace, obviously wanting to orgasm, but Jace kept slowing down, pulling back, not letting him make this something fast and hard and just about getting off.

He wanted it to be about so much more than that.

The sound of Alec's harsh breathing and Jace's sloppy movements filled the room, making a dirty symphony, and Jace could pinpoint the moment that Alec began getting close to orgasm. His fingers began jerking on the bed, his toes curling into the heavy weight carpet, and his breathing became even quicker, and that was when Jace pulled back, feeling precome and saliva gathered in the corners of his mouth and beginning to drip down toward his chin. His eyes were locked on Alec's as he wiped his hand over his mouth, and then purposefully licked his palm, slowly, tongue flicking between his fingers, cleaning the precome away.

"Jace," it was almost a whimper that Alec let out, and his eyes looked blurry as he stared back at Jace.

Jace liked that.

His eyes had looked distant and dull for too long, and Jace hated it.

Now they looked wanting and heated and so goddamn beautiful.

"Move back," Jace whispered, giving his knee a little nudge. Alec's movements were clumsy, his arms not holding his weight properly as he shifted himself backward, and Jace made sure to move the towel with him, keeping it shoved under Alec's ass. Jace reached for the lube that they kept in the bedside table before he got up onto the bed, ignoring the twinge in his knees from where he had been on the ground. Alec was laying back on the pillows and Jace settled between his legs, pushing them apart.

"Jace, I—"

"Hey," Jace looked up at Alec from where he had been uncapping the lube. "I've got you, okay?" Alec stared at him for a beat before nodding, his eyes trusting. Jace poured some of the cool liquid onto his fingers before tossing the tube onto the bed and his fingers moved to slide down Alec's ass. Alec let out a groan, his eyes squeezing shut, and his legs instinctively moved up, bending at the knee and making more room for Jace. As Jace's first finger slowly teased Alec's entrance, Jace began speaking, his voice soft and low and smooth, so that it spread through Alec's limbs like molasses. "Look at me," he began. Alec's abdominal muscles were tight as Jace slowly pressed the tip of his finger inside Alec. "Baby..." the term of endearment had Alec opening his eyes, attempting to focus on Jace.

It wasn't often that Jace called him anything other than his name.

He wasn't really the type to use nicknames.

"Yeah?" He rasped out.

"You need to stop doing this to yourself," Jace's voice was still low, and even though his finger was moving expertly between Alec's legs, his eyes were glued to his face. "You need to let everyone else take on some of the load. You need to understand that not everything that happens is your fault." Alec didn't know what he was meant to say in response to that, and he began to try and formulate a reply in his head, his lips parting, but then Jace's finger pressed into him, all the way to the last knuckle, and any reply that Alec was trying to come up with flew out the window.

"Nnghf," he moaned out as his whole body jerked upward at the welcome intrusion.

"You're the hardest working person here," Jace continued to speak. "You put yourself out there for every single Shadowhunter here. You take on everything that everyone throws at you, even though don't have to." Alec was trying to listen to every single word that Jace was saying, but with his finger slowly pumping in and out, Alec was finding it hard to concentrate. "You're so fucking good, Alec. So good..." Alec's cock jumped and Jace saw precome slide from the head, adding to the shine already on the shaft from Jace's spit.

"Jace..." Alec breathed out and Jace gave him a small, intimate smile, just an upward quirk of his lips.

"What's going on...It's not all on you," Jace murmured, curving his finger inside Alec. "And you're not alone. We're all here with you. I know you could take all of this on if that's what you wanted..." a particular curve of his finger stroked so close to that spot inside Alec that his back arched, his body jerking, and he let out a keening noise. "I know that you're smart enough, and you're strong enough, and you're fast enough, to do all of this yourself, but..." this time the curve of Jace's thick finger pressed right there and Alec's moan was loud, bouncing off the walls of the room, lighting hot pleasure shooting down his thighs and curling his toes.

"Jace," Alec whimpered, thrusting his hips downwards, towards Jace's hand. "Jace, Jace—" he was just mumbling his lovers name, over and over again, and Jace's own cock jerked, more precome leaking at the way the dark haired man looked. Alec's hair was a mess and his lips were red and wet from when he had been biting them, and his eyes were barely staying open, rolling back into his head.

"But we've all got your back. I've got your back. I'm always going to have your back, Alec," Jace assured in soft tones and Alec's eyes opened at that. Fixing his gaze on Jace's mismatched eyes, he tried to keep his own open, even though they were bleary from pleasure. "I'm always going to be there to help you, even if you don't need it..." a second finger began to massage Alec's rim. "I'm always going to be there to support you, even if you don't need it..." the second finger began to press in, and Alec's breathing hitched, and his eyes fluttered shut for a moment before he forced them back open. "I'm always going to be there to watch your back, even if you don't need it," Jace pressed the second finger into Alec and the man let out a long groan.

Jace didn't say anything for a long few moments.

He pressed his fingers into Alec, over and over again, at a slow but steady pace, massaging at his insides, grazing over that spot inside of him, sending sparks down to his toes and through his fingers. Alec's groans were just one long sentence, the first one flowing into the next one, and Jace's movements began to increase as he heard Alec's breathing quicken.

"You're so good, Alec," Jace breathed out, one hand gripping Alec's thigh while the other pressed into him. "So fucking good, baby..." Alec whined, his whole body arching upward, his cock bouncing against his stomach, precome leaking steadily now, smearing across his abdominals. "Come for me, Alec," Jace encouraged him. "Come on."

"I...Shit, I—" Alec cut off with a heavy, whining exhale as Jace pressed down firmly on his prostate. His two fingers didn't leave that spot, making Alec's vision blur and his head pound and his heart beat so fast it felt as though it was going to be beat out of his chest. His cock was throbbing, aching for Jace to reach out and touch it, wanting Jace's mouth back around it, like it was before. He could feel himself right on the brink of the orgasm, could feel it welling up in the pit of his stomach, his limbs tensing, his back beginning to seize up.

"Alec," Jace's voice was still soft, encouraging, sweet. "You're being so good for me, you look so beautiful...Come for me..." Alec let out a shout, his cock pulsing as come splashed against his torso, thick ropes spraying upward toward his chest. His shoulders heaved against the pillows and Jace's touch gentled, no longer pressing so firmly on his prostate, pulling out slowly and leaning forward to press a kiss to Alec's chest, over his nipple. Alec's breathing began to even out, and he opened his eyes to look at Jace, who was now stretched over him, his torso pressed against his, not caring that he was still wearing his shirt and it was getting messed up from Alec's come.

Their mouths came together for the first time, in a surprisingly chaste kiss. Jace's nose gently bumped against Alec's, and his eyes were open as they stared down at his boyfriend, and Alec stared back up at him, his hand reaching up and gripping Jace's shirt. After exchanging a few more kisses, Alec pulled the shirt up a bit, and then reached further down to slip under the elastic waist band of Jace's sweatpants. His grip around Jace's cock was looser than usual, and his upward twists and downward strokes were slower than they normally were, but it didn't take long before Jace was coming, messing up his pants and not caring one bit about it, breathing heavily in Alec's neck as his body jerked over his. After a few moments, he rolled to the side, laying on the bed next to Alec, their shoulders pressed together.

"You're wrong," Alec murmured, his voice so low Jace could only just hear it. He reached out for Jace's hand, twining their fingers together and holding it firmly. Jace turned his head on the pillow to face Alec and Alec's expression was soft, open. Loving. "I need you. God, I need you, Jace," his voice trembled a little with emotion. Jace pressed a soft kiss against Alec's bare shoulder, the pair of them falling asleep despite the mess, fingers twisted together tightly between them.

Let me know what you think x