Note: Professor!AU and meant to be a crack pairing so forgive me lol
Argus was wandering the halls, muttering to himself about what he'd do if he found someone that wasn't meant to be out from curfew.
He prided himself on punishing the children if Mrs. Norris didn't get to them first. The thought almost made him gleeful.
There was a faint silhouette of someone making their way down the corridor (if the tapping sound their shoes made were any indication too), and Argus couldn't be more delighted to sate his appetite for punishment.
He had to give it to the lad, whoever it was, because they weren't making it hard to know that they were present. There was no way they couldn't see him. It was as if they were arrogant enough to make their presence known without a care. His lips curled into a wicked grin, exposing the yellow on his teeth as he prepared to tell the student how much trouble they were in.
Until he heard it.
"Argus Filch."
It was the deep drawl that caught him by surprise. None of the students were in possession of it, and the other male professors didn't address him as such. Getting a closer look at the form sauntering slowly towards him, Argus silently cursed that he hadn't seen it sooner.
"Professor Malfoy," Argus said, bowing his head in attempt to hide the blush that was threatening to appear on his ashen cheeks.
"No need for formalities, Argus," Lucius remarked, shoes. "I was simply making my presence known so you wouldn't confuse me with one of the students."
Argus took a step back bobbing his head. "O-Of course, sir. Did you need to find your boy? I'm sure he is in the common room…" Argus was beginning to babble, and he knew it. It was hard not to in Lucius' presence; the man oozed attraction.
It made Argus ashamed to even think about the professor in such a manner. Except it didn't stop him from thinking of how the man tasted, how he looked underneath his robes, how his long, blond would feel underneath his fingertips—
His thoughts were interrupted by that exact man still moving closer to him.
Lucius waved his hand carelessly. "As a matter of fact, I am. It won't take long to find him. I am also in pursuit of something else."
Argus looked up, looking into the cool grey eyes of the Potions professor who was closer than Argus could handle. He licked his lips, finding them cracked and chapped from the lack of moister.
Goosebumps were forming on his arms. 'Must be the damn chill in here,' Argus thought before clearing his throat. "What else do you need, sir?" he asked.
Lucius' black-gloved hand reached out to Argus. He gulped as the professor's finger touched under his chin and lifted Argus' head to level with Lucius'.
"I need," Lucius started, eyes drifting from Argus' eyes to his lips and back again, "for you to be quiet."
There was no sweet moment, no slow motion or time to register what was happening until Lucius' lips parted on top of his own.
Argus couldn't believe that this was happening. His hands were not weaved in Lucius' hair. His body was not pressed against a wall, trapped by Lucius himself. His mouth was not swapping spit with the Potions Master.
The ache in his loins told him it was real. The heat between their bodies told him it was real. The mewing sounds in his ear told him it was real.
Wait.
Mewing?
Lucius would never mew. He was too good of a man for that; and it wasn't Argus.
The mewing was getting louder.
And Argus opened his eyes, jumping at the sight of Mrs. Norris directly in his face. Looking around, Argus found himself alone in his bedchambers, sticky with sweat. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, ashamed and disgusted with himself at the contents of his dreams.
Not only were they inappropriate, but Argus wanted it to happen to. Even though he knew it never would, a man could dream.
A/N: Written for HSWW (Challenges and Assignments)
Word Count: 675