Prelude To An Omake Flow Part 2
R E V E R S I O N E D
A Sailor Moon Fan Fiction (I think… at least just barely)
By Nicholas Clark (Warriorsong)
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Please note that Part One is by Hotaru-chan (Katie Eickhoff) but whether or not she is still writing and this piece still exists I have no idea.
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"So let me get this straight," Jack mumbled half to himself, "all fanfics exist in a continuum known as Omake?"
"Yep," said Kei looking pleased with herself, "Read this."
And with that, she produced a pamphlet from behind her back. Jack took it from her and read the title on the cover aloud.
"So You Are In An Omake dot dot dot.' "
This looked to be interesting. He plonked himself down on the couch and flicked to the first page.
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Some time later and still with a confused look on his face; Jack closed the pamphlet and looked to Setsuna.
"This true?" A nod was her reply. A slow grin, almost glittering with evil intent spread across Jack's face.
"Well alright then."
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A Time Senshi / Even Flow Crossover
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Jack was grinning; his blondish bangs had fallen over the sides of his face framing it. Mood lighting kicked in; slowly illuminating his face from below like a scary story was about to be told around the campfire.
Mira, her black hair with its red highlights took a step back, while her companion Kei, her silvery blue hair catching the mood light, jumped and hid behind the couch.
Setsuna was standing unconcerned by the side of the nearest doorway. She coughed. Almost immediately the mood lighting cut out and Jack snapped back to reality. He grinned sheepishly in the full illumination at the two younger looking Senshi and wheeled around to face Setsuna.
"What's the deal, I didn't get to do the insane maniacal laugh?"
"Save it for the sequel."
Jack looked puzzled at this and said, "There's a sequel?"
Setsuna got that damn smug look on her face that usually meant that she wasn't going to say anything about it except that it was something to do with something or other happening in the future.
Jack "fhilp-ed", blowing past his top lip to dislodge a stray lock of hair that had fallen over his face.
He turned to the two newcomers to his reality and smiled.
"So, ladies, what shall we do?"
Actually he was addressing Mira, as Kei was only now peeking surreptitiously over the back of the sofa.
Kei stood up, straightening the creases out of her grey t-shirt and blue jeans. She looked at Mira who glanced at her wrist. There wasn't a watch there but it added to the dramatic tension.
She seemed to be counting down when suddenly the telephone rang. When no one moved Setsuna shrugged, muttering something under her breath and left the room.
Mira then got a look at her clothing, a red t-shirt with black jeans. She looked at Jack who was similarly confused about his light blue jeans and navy blue shirt.
"What's this with the clothes?" she asked.
"Um, don't ask me," Jack stated, still kind thrown about the whole Omake reality paradox, "I just work here, and I'm on my lunch break."
And with that, Setsuna re-entered the room.
"I have to head off to the gate. That cat is having trouble of some kind." Her eyes hardened as she looked at the three youngsters. "Don't mess with reality or I'll have to kick some arse." she finished, disappearing in a miasma of purple static and ribbons.
"What did she mean by that?" Jack asked.
Kei spoke for the first time this episode; "She has most probably seen the script. Which, as she said, means a butt kicking." She paused as she let the threat sink in. "You wanted to know what we wanted to do?"
"Quite," said Jack, wishing the jeans he was wearing weren't a size too small.
"That's better," he said
The two girls looked at him, hoping that whatever thought's were going through his head would stay there.
Mira began to grin, her hair fell over the sides of her face framing it and the lights dimmed.
CUE: Scratching record sound effect
It stopped.
She looked at both Jack and Kei who had crept away and were trying to get out of the room via the balcony.
"Sorry."
Both escapees seemed to calm down slightly and looked at her waiting for whatever revelation the script seemed to dictate.
"We need a golf cart."
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Marathon, Greece - 490 BC
Thursday
Mid-Afternoon
Slightly Overcast
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The Greek Army waited patiently. They had heard no word whatsoever from their advance scouts and that group of guys they had sent off to find some alcohol, so something was probably up.
Captain Gothartimbro (pronunciation - Got The Time Bro) shrugged and turned back to the game of Twister his troops where involved it. We could mention they were wearing togas but that would create too many unanswerable questions and possibly pump this fic right up to NC17. So we won't.
They were playing Boggle instead.
Don't ask where they got it; they are just playing it alright!
The scout Needsumglasis, (pronunciation - Need Some Glasses) squinted a bit harder as a cloud of dust appeared upon the sand spit that stretched before him. It was getting closer at a phenomenal rate and a faint sound sort of like a loin after a big meal, began to invade his ears.
Almost like he was driven by some will more powerful than his own he turned to his partner, Dudlyinindasand (pronunciation - Dude Lying In The Sand) and said, "There's a coach coming in!"
Dudlyinindasand turned to the nearest runner Hundrametrdas (pronunciation - Hundred-Meter Dash) and relayed, "There's a coach coming in!"
Hundrametrdas quickly ran to the Lieutenant, a man named Inchargoguyswatchin (pronunciation - In Charge Of Guys Watching) and said, "There a coach coming in!"
Inchargoguyswatchin turned to his troops who immediately starting singing in deep baritone voices, "There's a coach coming in!"
Gothartimbro shook his head. Hiring the Pantheon Players as mercenaries was a mistake. And Oklahoma hadn't even been founded yet, let alone the New World.
He held his toga down, as an errant breeze threatened to blow it up. He blushed.
He took off at a trot towards the lookout position that Needsumglasis was manning and crouched down beside him.
"What's the story?"
"There's this thing coming this way with Claus on it"
And yes, we know the marathon runner was not called Claus, but it is funny isn't it? Isn't It! HUH! DAMMIT!
Gothartimbro squinted. Sure enough, there WAS a white beast coming towards them over the spit, a blonde man at the wheel grinning wide enough that the top of his head was only held on by his ears. On either side of him, hanging out the side were two young girls with skirts on that were shorter than the toga Gothartimbro wore to that orgy that one time.
Claus was bound to the front of this beast (which reminded Gothartimbro of another orgy) with a look of sheer terror on his face.
The beasts purring could now be heard audibly and its wheels could be seen throwing up sand as it came within hailing distance of the lookout.
The white beast turned sharply and went around in circles for some time before stopping abruptly. Claus fell from the front and proceeded to bury himself in the sand.
The three remaining occupants beamed at Gothartimbro and began shouting; "The Persians are coming! The Persians are coming!"
The blonde did something to the beast and it began to run along the front of the army, the two scandalously clad girls continuing to shout.
Inchargoguyswatchin scratched his head as the beast turned and made off along the spit again.
"Do you think they were trying to tell us something?"
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Meanwhile along the spit, Jack was shredding the gears of the golf cart as Kei and Mira leaned across the top in quiet conversation.
"That was interesting," commented Kei
"Yes, that it was. Pity that they had no idea what was going on."
"True, but I think that's what made it interesting. Shall we try something else?"
"Hold up," said Mira as a time portal appeared before the charging golf cart.
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Boston, United States of America / British Colony Of The Americas - 1773 AD
(Or the temporal equivalent)
Monday
Just after tea-time
A foggy night-time scene
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A foggy night-time scene is shattered by a white carriage type vehicle with no horses tearing through the night-time streets.
Two females are leaning from the carriage screaming; "The British are coming! The British are coming!"
A man, saddling his horse by his watch station, throws his three-corner hat on the ground and begins to jump up and down on it, cursing the unfairness of it all.
"This is kinda boring," the silvery haired girl could be heard saying, her voice drifting in the night air.
"I got an idea," spoke a deeper voice. Presumably the blonde haired driver.
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Stirling, Scotland - 1297 AD
Wednesday
Just after ten o'clock in the morning
Slight chance of rain
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"So it really did happen this way, besides the dramatic license on the part of the filmmakers in regards to the main character."
Jack stood slightly behind Kei and Mira, his hands over their eyes. They were complaining about him covering their eyes.
In fact, they were complaining loudly.
Then of course, thousand of bare Scottish buttocks were not really a sight to expose young women too, even if they were several billion years older than you.
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Disclaimers
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Sailor Moon and related characters were created by Naoko Takeuchi and are copyright Kodansha, Bandai, Mixx, Pioneer Entertainment and DIC. The character of Naydar / Jack Argusson is created and owned by me. Cool eh? Special thanks to the Hotaru-chan (Katie Eickhoff) for suggesting this and writing the first part. Also Kei (Sailor Divine) and Mira (Sailor Storm) are her creations. Standard disclaimers apply.
If any of this information is wrong, my most humble apologies, but considering I was drivelling when I wrote this, it isn't subject to the normal rules of causality. No copyright infringement is intended, this is merely a work of fan fiction. I am in no way affiliated to any of these companies and people and what not. Thanks for reading.
Finished 4th October 2000, Compiled 5th October 2000, Re-edited 8th July 2002 and Reversioned 16th January 2008 much to my horror. It still make me chuckle. But then I need help. By Nicholas Paul Clark (Warriorsong).