Now, people might ask why we make fun of Snape. I have a very simple answer
to that:
Because we can.
It isn't because he's old and outdated, it's because the way he's so mean
that it's dumb! Well anyway, here is something that happened last year at
Hogwarts.
Snape was lurking about in the dungeons. He knew that he had to teach Potter next period. Oh, he would embarrass the bastard in front of everyone. So, Harry Potter strutted into Snape's Potion class. And as usual, he was just perky and wonderful as ever. The Potion's Master was perched at his desk reflecting on how he will never get the Defense Against the Dark Arts job. I was sitting in the back of the classroom at the time. And I had the sudden urge to drink that bottle of ink.. oops.. forget I said that. Well, when everyone settled down, I watched as Draco gave his sexy look to Snape. Potter is just jealous because he couldn't get in Snape's pants first! Or, so he thought. I was just about to fall asleep, but then I heard Snape lecturing Potter so I knew I was in for quite a show. I think I'm one of Snape's favorites, even if he's not one of my favorites. Every time I get a stupid answer right, it's 5 points to Slytherin. Go figure. Well anyway, back to the story. Potter was giving Snape his Go on! I dare you! look and Snape was bearing his yellow, not to mention crooked teeth. But then, the class got quiet. There was a twinkle in Snape's eyes. And he took off his robe. I heard Potter mumble. "You've been wearing black for too long." So I was like DAMN! And I was thinking about making a run for it, but I had to fulfill my sick pleasures (giggle giggle snort). So then I took out a Muggle device which is quite useful for entertainment. The Muggles call it a radio. So I turned it on. Z100 is New York's number one hit music station. This is Z100, I'm Rich Davis and we're coming up with another 10 in a row. And then the music started. I listened for a while and then the good part came. I am getting so hot. I wanna take my clothes off. So I was like TURN ON THE HEAT BABY! And you should have seen Draco's face! I was like peeing it was so funny. So I yell ORGY! But, I won't get into that yet. So Snape starts doing this sexy dance and then he starts singing to the music. So I start clapping to the rhythm and soon everyone's clapping. I feel so bad for Draco. So I go over there and make him feel better.. So by now Snape is wearing a thong. So I stand up in the middle of the class and I go:
"This song is dedicated to the man in the thong" And everyone shuts up. "Oh yeah you're wearing a thong made in Hong Kong! Baby it's so long! It must've been worn by King Kong! Well that's just wrong. Maybe we can play a game of Ping Pong? You look so strong! By the way, do you play the gong? And when Potter rings the doorbell it goes Ding Dong.."
And so on it went and I'm thinking of all these rhymes and everyone's cracking up. So then everyone's stripping, so I am going to high tail it out of here. But, I grab that ink bottle on the way out. Then I start chugging it. WHOAH! DAMN I WAS SO HIGH! So I come back in and I tell everyone about the ink. So everyone starts chugging and Snape... oh man.. Snape starts to wiggle. AND I MEAN WIGGLE! Sheesh I'm like barfing here and his wiggling. Care about the people! And right now, I want chicken. So I call room service and a chicken apparates in front of me. It was a LIVE chicken. In Hogwarts they don't believe in cooking. They just use their magic zap powers and the food's done. So they expect ME to know how to zap the chicken. So Snape comes over and grabs the chicken right when I'm about to attempt to zap it. And then, he eats it. Feathers and all the sick pup! So then I go "Its gone. Are you happy now?" So then he just walks away and I'm left chicken less. It would've gone with the ink too. So by now, Draco is so drunk like the rest of the class. Oh...my..gosh Snape is raping Potter.
I'm out.
Snape was lurking about in the dungeons. He knew that he had to teach Potter next period. Oh, he would embarrass the bastard in front of everyone. So, Harry Potter strutted into Snape's Potion class. And as usual, he was just perky and wonderful as ever. The Potion's Master was perched at his desk reflecting on how he will never get the Defense Against the Dark Arts job. I was sitting in the back of the classroom at the time. And I had the sudden urge to drink that bottle of ink.. oops.. forget I said that. Well, when everyone settled down, I watched as Draco gave his sexy look to Snape. Potter is just jealous because he couldn't get in Snape's pants first! Or, so he thought. I was just about to fall asleep, but then I heard Snape lecturing Potter so I knew I was in for quite a show. I think I'm one of Snape's favorites, even if he's not one of my favorites. Every time I get a stupid answer right, it's 5 points to Slytherin. Go figure. Well anyway, back to the story. Potter was giving Snape his Go on! I dare you! look and Snape was bearing his yellow, not to mention crooked teeth. But then, the class got quiet. There was a twinkle in Snape's eyes. And he took off his robe. I heard Potter mumble. "You've been wearing black for too long." So I was like DAMN! And I was thinking about making a run for it, but I had to fulfill my sick pleasures (giggle giggle snort). So then I took out a Muggle device which is quite useful for entertainment. The Muggles call it a radio. So I turned it on. Z100 is New York's number one hit music station. This is Z100, I'm Rich Davis and we're coming up with another 10 in a row. And then the music started. I listened for a while and then the good part came. I am getting so hot. I wanna take my clothes off. So I was like TURN ON THE HEAT BABY! And you should have seen Draco's face! I was like peeing it was so funny. So I yell ORGY! But, I won't get into that yet. So Snape starts doing this sexy dance and then he starts singing to the music. So I start clapping to the rhythm and soon everyone's clapping. I feel so bad for Draco. So I go over there and make him feel better.. So by now Snape is wearing a thong. So I stand up in the middle of the class and I go:
"This song is dedicated to the man in the thong" And everyone shuts up. "Oh yeah you're wearing a thong made in Hong Kong! Baby it's so long! It must've been worn by King Kong! Well that's just wrong. Maybe we can play a game of Ping Pong? You look so strong! By the way, do you play the gong? And when Potter rings the doorbell it goes Ding Dong.."
And so on it went and I'm thinking of all these rhymes and everyone's cracking up. So then everyone's stripping, so I am going to high tail it out of here. But, I grab that ink bottle on the way out. Then I start chugging it. WHOAH! DAMN I WAS SO HIGH! So I come back in and I tell everyone about the ink. So everyone starts chugging and Snape... oh man.. Snape starts to wiggle. AND I MEAN WIGGLE! Sheesh I'm like barfing here and his wiggling. Care about the people! And right now, I want chicken. So I call room service and a chicken apparates in front of me. It was a LIVE chicken. In Hogwarts they don't believe in cooking. They just use their magic zap powers and the food's done. So they expect ME to know how to zap the chicken. So Snape comes over and grabs the chicken right when I'm about to attempt to zap it. And then, he eats it. Feathers and all the sick pup! So then I go "Its gone. Are you happy now?" So then he just walks away and I'm left chicken less. It would've gone with the ink too. So by now, Draco is so drunk like the rest of the class. Oh...my..gosh Snape is raping Potter.
I'm out.