A/N: this is my first story, so bear with me, and I hope ya'll like it.
Disclaimer - Twilight is not now nor never will be mine, I just borrow some
Chapter one
How do you begin to tell someone you have never known nor will likely ever meet your life's tale? How do you tell anyone what you have been through? I guess this is as good an attempt as any. Next I presume you want a quick list of rudimentary facts about me, but seeing as I have no idea who you are, and I can't honestly say that I care, I shall go about things my way. Which means no quick rundown of the most basic, unimportant, and completely superfluous information ever conducted, but then how do I begin? I suppose I already have in a way, so you may count this as an interjection if it pleases you, but to me it is how true tales should be started.
This is not a fairytale, nor is it some great tale of some heroic person; it is a true account of me. This is my life, as I have seen it. Aristotle once stipulated that tragedies would always have a main character of extraordinary stature; however, the only extraordinary thing that I may claim is that I survived. But I guess many can make that claim, making me, once again, ordinary. There are no happy endings in this tale, there is only life, and as all life ends in death, and I have most certainly not yet died, this is an unfinished tale.
I live in such a time as all people of my country wear masks, men and women alike. Once in a while you find some without, but that is very rare, it is more likely to find someone with a less concealing mask. Perhaps it is small, or close to see through, but almost all wear a mask. It is not a law that has been passed, nor is it a fashion statement, but more of a way to protect. It is there to protect ourselves from others and others from ourselves. Sometimes children also wear masks; there is no age to don the masks as there is no law which requires wearing them. People wear the mask once the feel the need to. The mask represents all faith lost in others, it represents lost trust in humanity as whole. Some families see the donning of a mask as a passage of life, an honor, and treat it as such, while others see it as a sad occurrence, a time to mourn innocence lost.
Each mask is made to the individual; some have the same one all their lives while others get new ones often. Although I have already said that these masks are not a fashion statement, there are some statements to be made through these masks. Mostly about whom you as a person are, or as you wish others to see you. The designs, the size and even the material make a statement about you. Some are pure rags, while others may be made of the finest quality. What you use can be a statement of your standing in society, which is often, or some other statement of political or moral choosing. The first mask that is worn by the youth is usually very plain and unassuming, and often a family item, as it is not the individual's actual mask, but more of a place holder until such time as a real mask can be attained or made, it simply ascertains that a mask is now required. Mask making is an occupation as integral to our life as cloth making or farming, we simply cannot be without.
I made my mask, it is not my first one, but it is the first I made. I am not yet twenty years but I have worn a mask longer than half. Yes, I was one of few children who wore a mask. My first mask was the family mask, it was plain and unassuming. I remember it hung outside my door, it was pure white, made of lace, and it only outlined my eyes tied on with sheer ribbon. If I had had any brothers this might have been a poor family mask, but I only had one sister much older than I, so it was suitable for our family. My sister now has that mask; it waits outside her daughter's door for the day she wishes to wear it, since I have no children this is an acceptable place for it to be.
"Bella, it's time." Charlie, my father, says as he knocks on my door. This is his signal to leave for the Congregation, a meeting of the masses if you will. I take one last look in the ancient mirror and am met with the same image I have seen time and time again, long dark hair, pale skin, piercing blue-green eyes. I pick up my mask and put it on as I walk to the door. No one has seen my full face since I donned my mask when I was a young girl. My mother cried that day, but I felt safe, for the first time in weeks.
Eyes, that's all I could feel, eyes following me everywhere. I couldn't understand, why MY daddy? Why did my daddy have to get hurt "in the line of duty" as they said? They said he could get better, they got to him early, but I've never seen daddy so scared. Everyone watched me, to know more about him or to see when I finally cracked and broke down. Little did they know I cried only to my pillow in the dark of night, when no ears or eyes could catch me. No one would see me weak, of that I made sure.
No one was really surprised when I started wearing my mask, but most still saw it as a sad thing for one so young to wear one. Although I rarely felt young, even then, I was often called an old soul. My older sister moved away when I was even younger, and both my parents are integral parts to make the city run, so many times I saw to take care of myself. When my father was injured I felt so much older, suddenly shouldering so much more than my frail shoulders could, but I made them, and that in turn made me who I am.
I was lost in my musings as we traveled to the Congregation, but I wasn't surprised to see the building rise up in front of me, few things surprise me anymore. Charlie exited the cab first shortly followed by Renee, my mother; they walked together to the Congregation. Taking one last deep breath to steel myself I too left the warm cab into the night for the short walk across the parking lot to the court house. Once only seen as the court house it now held the center of the city. As I walked in I looked around, these same block walls have housed the heart of the inner workings of Eramica since the fall of our energy sources. Once a great country, Eramica was hit hard by the fossil fuel seize, and slowly shrank to a few centralized areas of major population. We hear stories of people who tough it out in the out lands, but those are few and far between.
"See you at the end." Renee says, kisses my cheek and leaves, Charlie follows suite. I take my seat befitting my position. The council elders are at the front of the room, raised above the others, facing them. The outer edges are places for other respected figures or Admirations; this is where my parents sit. On the other side of the room, facing the elders is the general population, it's my theory that they too arrange themselves in positions of power, but few believe or even think of it. To many of the leaders they are faceless drones; to me they are people, stories, lives. Like the Whitlocks, who traveled the out lands trying to find a better tomorrow, and now run one of the most successful trading companies, bringing needed supplies; or the Clearwaters, who's patriarch was a guard for many years in the Elites and sits in retirement teaching the next generation respect, and providing an outlet for those without. These are the people Eramica was made of and for, but still are considered faceless accounts in the records hall. There are seats in between the two, backing up to the west and east walls, not really facing either. These are not part of the Council or the Admirations, nor part of the general people, a limbo of sorts, this is where I am in society. I make eye contact and slight nods of hello to many of the families in the audience, they know this is the best I can do, I cannot sit by them, I cannot show true familiarity, as a young lady, daughter of the admirations, my hands are tied.
Shortly after the meeting started, various members of the Admirations, heads of departments, stand and make status reports. As usual the fossil fuels are low, in need of a new source; the solar does little to help, providing minimal replacement. The agricultural department is flourishing again, stocking up for the harsh times ahead. I make a mental note to make rounds of the farmers and see who needs help. My parents standing makes it so that I have no need to work, but I find pleasure in helping those who need it, it is not uncommon for the people to see me out working side by side with their fellows. I also try to help those who do need jobs and income can find it, even if I provide the pay.
Then the head of the Guard stands, an elder man with no hair, by choice, but still in peak physical shape, as is needed to guard Eramica. He reports on the status of the Guard, its equipment, and the safety of our country. He then turns to face solely the general population and makes a recruitment speech, glossing over the details of the job, as it is classified work, but detailing the benefits. I watch the faces of the population out of the corner of my eye to see who seems interested, this is a job I normally hold then report to Top after the meeting. Few of the men and women seem to take much interest, but many of the young adults and children do. Top will be pleased to know he can look forward to getting a better pick this time. I watch those of my generation closest, these I know well and will be able to give Top a briefing on their characters. There are a few here and there, but not many for we as a whole are still fairly young minded, solely focused on ourselves or not interested in work. But there are some from families with a harder time who seem greatly interested, these are the ones who need the benefits, and have good work ethic.
As Top wraps up his speech I focus once again on the center deck, where the speeches are made from, and meet eyes staring at me from the other side of the room. This startles me as I normally go fairly unnoticed during the speeches, all attention on the speakers, as it should be as the information is rather important to Eramica. But this young fellow is staring right at me, his fierce green eyes peering into my own for the short second that I sweep my gaze along the other side, but I can still feel his gaze burning into me. I have grown accustomed to eyes following me, but this set seems so much more intense, not simply curious, or disdainful like the others. I am the daughter of two Admirations but work along the side of the population, this is not a regular thing, as in I am the first. I myself find it rather amusing so many people never thought of it before, not because they are not kind or caring, but because it never occurred to them to help out physically. Since I started as a young child I have been able to bring others with me, some whole families in the Admirations, like the owner of the eyes now following me, some just friends of mine, but a helping hand is a helping hand. In total there is probably about twenty of us who go around and work when needed, about fifteen of them around my age or much younger, few of them are adults, the actual Admirations, none are the council, they would not dare disgrace themselves to menial labor.
The Council of Elders is a type onto themselves, as a whole they regard me with mixed reactions, some find me disgraceful, others find me odd and misguided, there are a few who find me bothersome. To some of the Council power is the only objective, their only purpose; to others they do have the best of Eramica at heart, or what they believe to be the best. The head of the Council, Aro Volturi, viewed me with curiosity, he believed I could go far and do great things for him, he continuously pressured my grooming and watched my actions. Little did he know I already had my hand dipped into many of the affairs in Eramica.
Which reminds me, I needed to speak to Top to inquire about my guard training. No, I did not intend to join per say, I would be one of the nonofficial members of the guard, I wish to be trained to help in times of need, and to have a better understanding of the guard, but I was unable to join because of the wants of others. My parents feared for my safety and wished me to never be in a position to be harmed, others thought it lower than me, and Mario deemed it a waste, so I was unable to join. This did not mean I wouldn't be able to continue as I wished. I had convinced Top to allow me to train off the record, either by himself or trusted other, the fewer who knew the better for me.
The meeting continued and I unremittingly watched the reactions of as many as I could. It had become a habit of mine to gage the actions and reactions of others, all while seeming focused on what was appropriate of me, at this time the speaker. But seeing as I was being met with the same furious green eyes again and again, I knew that I was not invisible tonight, at least to one person. Why he was watching me, and with such anger, I do not know. Unfortunately I did know who these eyes belonged to, the next Captain of the Elite, or CoE, Edward Anthony Cullen. I was never one to have many friends, and Tony, as he preferred to be called in school, was never one of them. Older than I, it wasn't as if we crossed paths overly much, but in such a tight community running into someone was inevitable. And once run into him I did, literally. Before that I doubt he knew me from eve, other than my name and who I was, I was just another face, but since… since then he has believed me to be something I'm not. I can't fault him for such; I gave him just cause that day.
I shook myself from my mussing mentally as this was not the time for such ramblings of inner thought. Other matters of more importance called for my attention now. The Congregation was ending and it was time for me to act my part, a young lady of society. Everyone was getting up and talking or leaving, I looked to Top and caught his eye. He nodded, this meant that yes he wants to talk to me, I raised an eyebrow, and he again nodded, meaning we agreed to meet at our usual place and time. I then looked to masses to see who was talking to who, hoping to maybe catch some of the conversations taking place as I observed.
"Did you hear Top speak? I think that would be so cool…" one young man asked of his buddies.
"The reports seem fair, but we will need to work hard to keep our advantage over the need of supply…" Harry Clearwater spoke to him son, Seth, his partner in his business. Normally the job might have gone to his oldest son, Sam, but Sam had become a part of the Guard many years back, he was even part of the Elite now.
"Did you see Tony? His hair is so cute, the way it stands on end just about. And that color!" a group of girls giggled to each other over the men of the room, another seemed to prefer Jacob Black, while a third favored Sam. I internally rolled my eyes; I never understood the young girls need to appraise the men. It was just never my thing.
"We are going to have to find help to finish the harvest before the food rots on the plants, we need to use every bit we can…" hmmm, this is from a family I know, it seems I already have some work cut out for me.
As I crossed the room to speak with my parents, who were conversing with the rest of the Admirations on the matters of the Congregation, I heard a few more tidbits from the crowd but none of much importance. I saw my father, silently taking in everything the others were saying and not saying, and my mother, animated and interjecting. These are the people I love and learned from, and I saw the respect in the others' eyes as they discussed. I walked up behind my mother and lightly touching hers and fathers shoulders closest to me I drew their attention to myself and made my excuse to leave.
On my way out I stopped and spoke to a few people, the Head of Agriculture to arrange a meeting for organizing help for the farmers, Mr. Whitlock to check on his business and deliveries, and finally a brief moment when Aro caught me and interrogated and accosted me, or what felt like it. Asking what I thought of the meeting, which is in fact a tricky question to answer, if I gave to insightful an answer I seem snobbish and haughty, if I gave to blasé an answer I seem dimwitted and uninterested. He often does this, tries to catch me in word games, but I continually escape his grasp, used to mind games, and analyzing every word said.
I finally make my way to the center garden, following the paths along the public park to the reflection pond and take a seat on the bench there. This is a rather forgotten place that I have managed to maintain myself with the help of a few others, and not many come here anymore, and this is where Top found me. He walked over to me and joins me on the bench. We sit in silence for a bit, just looking at the pond, thinking over what we heard today. I looked over to see Top deep in thought, he has helped me out as much as any father would, he is an amazing man as well. Top and I have a different relationship than any other citizen, Top and I discuss every topic pertaining to Eramica, and many not. Top values my opinion as much as any of his advisers, for this I am greatly honored. Top is a rare man to be able to look past my age and gender, as well as my social standing to see the mind inside.
"Did you speak to your parents about the training?" Top suddenly asks me, behind his canvas mask his eyes look into mine, searching for the truth. I once asked him why canvas for his mask, it is such an uncomfortable material. He answered that it is very durable and that besides, "pain is weakness leaving the body." At that we both laughed.
"No, you know they do not approve, why must I keep asking their permission?" I ask staring at the water once again, I do not like to question Top much, I'd challenge any other respected figure, even my parents, but it just seems wrong to question Top. He sees my reluctance in asking him, and chuckles at this.
"Miss Swan, you are very wise and have grown into your years, yet you still dislike questioning your elders?" I turn my head sharply to look at him, and search his eyes only to find humor in them.
"No Top, only you. I play mind games with Aro and don't even break a sweat, questioning your directions, now that makes me feel like a small girl again." I answer him with a grin.
"Ah I saw Aro corner you, what did he ask you this time?" he once again turned his head to observe the surroundings, once a Guard always a Guard.
"Just the usual, trying once again to trap me in my answer, I answered him as best I could, and won that round, I just worry one day he will catch me in something I will not be able to find a way out of." I said on a sigh. If Aro knew just how involved I was in Eramica's matters he would do anything to keep me out of his way. Luckily no one knows just how much I do, Top knows the most and he doesn't even know half of it. I am a firm believer in never having all your eggs in one basket. If all the heads talked to each other they would be surprised to find how much I do, but to talk to each other of such matters would mean being caught, and that is something they will not risk, I'm counting on it. I decided to change the subject and tell him what I saw of the reactions of the people to his speech, "It seemed you will have a good harvest this year, Top."
"Oh? Well this shall be interesting then this year, I just hope we can find some good honest workers. I fear that some of the younger ones have become too self absorbed." he muses as he rubbed his chin in thought.
"It's the Captain young as well?" I ask of him, knowing full well that he was.
"No younger than you, although you are not that old either. But he is everything needed to be a Captain, and he commands his men well."
"The woman too, and not just those who work for him." I grumbled. At this Top laughed, he knew my views on the young girls actions.
"Ah Miss Swan, one day a lucky man will catch your eye, then you will not be so critical." I scoffed, but he continued without pause. "Speaking of the Captain, I spoke to him about your training."
"What? He could tell someone! Maybe even his father! You know Carlisle is close friends to Aro…" He raised his hand to stop me.
"I know, but you must trust me, and I trust him. He and some of his Team will be the ones to teach you. All of them are aware that none must know of this. He will meet with you at a time you and I will decide. Understand?" he leveled me with his gaze, silencing all protest I had.
"Yes sir. But what time? I do not want this to be difficult for them."
"I figured you might be cautious of such, so I think the best would be if I required your service as a volunteer first as your meeting, then after offer you a job." as he laid out his plan he once again looked off into the distance. I thought maybe he thought of his wife, long passed in an accident, Mrs. Black had been loved by many and missed dearly, especially by Top.
"Okay Top, I trust you, if we head back now you may be able to catch my father and ask him to ask me. Thereby clearing all the barriers."
"I think I shall, Miss Swan, it has been a pleasure, as always." he said as we stood and parted ways, I to make my way home, and Top to the Court House.
Once Charlie came home he told me of Top's request that I help with cleaning in his office and rearranging of files, and that I was to go over to the Guard Headquarters tomorrow in the morning. I accepted and took my leave to my room, where I escaped reality for a sort time into my books, but once my candle grew low into the night I went to sleep.
So there's the first chapter, please review and tell me what you think, also, do ya'll want an Epov?