Lost Under the Stars
Final Fantasy VII
By: Bahamuts AngelVII
A/N: Italicized means thinking. Review! Go check out my other FFVII stories while you're at it. And then review!
Prologue
"Cloud, I'm home!" Tifa called. "Damn it." She chastised herself.
She had been used to saying that every time she came home from her bar, because Cloud had been there. But he was gone now. She still listened for his voice. Before, he would respond with a "Tifa! What's for dinner? Just kidding, I made it myself!" And Tifa would joke and say, "Oh, Cloud, haven't you grown up?" And they would laugh together and eat dinner. But not anymore.
It had been only six months since Sephiroth was defeated. Needless to say, Cloud was a little lost, and Tifa had taken care of him like the loving person that she was. At times she had to endure countless hours that went well into the night to talk to Cloud. His main subject was Aeris. As much as Tifa loved her dear friend, she was dead. Tifa didn't like to press that point on Cloud, but honestly, when was he going to get over it? The Ancient was gone. Gone, forever. But Cloud didn't see it that way.
"Tifa, I know we can see her… I know we can get her back!"
"Cloud… I know you love her… But she's… She's gone…"
"But Tifa! We can get her back!"
"…Are you sure? How do we get her back?"
Tifa would play into Cloud's little game. Telling him Aeris was dead seemed to push him closer to the brink of insanity. But then again, Cloud telling Tifa how much he loved Aeris was pushing her to the brink of a mental breakdown. She loved Cloud. And yet the only person he was capable of loving was Aeris.
"We have to go… We have to go find something, let's go to Icicle Inn! Or maybe the City of the Ancients!"
"Cloud… I can't go."
"Why? Tifa? Are you okay? Why are you crying?"
"N-nothing… I have to stay here and care for Marlene, because Barrett is away working to restore New Midgar."
"Why are you crying?"
Tifa was crying because she loved him and she wanted him to finally love her. She had to listen to this same talk over and over for the past six months and she couldn't hold back the tears.
"Cloud, I love you!"
Tifa couldn't stop herself. She had had to let it out. And when she had, she had no idea what Cloud would say.
"… What?"
"I love you, Cloud Strife."
"… Tifa…"
"Yes?"
"I'm so sorry…"
With those words, Tifa had broken down even harder. Tears poured down her face and her body shook uncontrollably. Cloud had held her close to him. Now he was backing away.
"Tifa… I love Aeris… You know that…"
"Y-yeah… I know. I'm so sorry… That she's gone. I want you to be happy."
"Tifa, I—"
"Oh, Cloud, I've loved you since forever… I've wanted to tell you so badly… But the only person you'll ever love is Aeris…"
"…"
He didn't know what to say.
"Tifa, you are my best friend. Don't forget… I love you always, okay?"
"… Cloud?"
But he had already left the room. He went and locked the door on his bedroom. Tifa didn't want to bother him. She didn't want to do anything. She didn't want to breathe. She lay down on the leather couch and let her sobs go. She hid under the blanket that she had always kept on the couch and let the tears soak up into them. After an hour she had fallen into a deep sleep.
She didn't hear Cloud as he slipped away into the night with all of his belongings. She didn't hear him as he got himself a final glass of water from the tap. She didn't feel him as he placed a letter into her outstretched hand.
She didn't hear him when he whispered, "Tifa, I love you and I'll miss you," into her ear. She didn't even notice.
When Tifa awoke, the first thing she felt were the tear stains on her face. The second was the paper. She gripped hard and sat up straight. Something wasn't right. It was too quiet. She looked at the envelope.
"Tifa Lockheart" It read in Cloud's trademark scrawl. She felt the tears well up again. She opened the envelope and pulled out the letter.
Tifa,
I'm sorry that I had to do this in a letter. I'm sorry I let you down. I wish I could love you like you love me, because I know that that is how you'll be happy. But Tifa… I can't. I can't love you like that because I love Aeris. I love her from the bottom of my heart, but Tifa, that doesn't mean you're not in it. I love you so much; you've always been there for me.
You've probably realized that I'm no longer here. I'm going on a journey to go and find her, because when I do I'll finally be happy. I want you to be happy, Tifa, because if anyone deserves it you do. You're perfect and you're an angel. I want you to find someone who's capable of loving and who is deserving of your love. I'm not worth it, Tifa. And you know that deep down, so why do you still love me?
Now you understand why I can't stay. I can't stay because I don't want to hurt you anymore. I realize now that all those times I talked about Aeris, all those times… I saw hurt in your eyes and I always thought it was because you were sad about her. But now I know that it was because I've been hurting you all along. Tifa I'm not meant to be your knight in shining armor. I couldn't protect you because I'm the one that hurts you the most. I want you to be happy, so that's why I'm leaving.
I love you, Tifa Lockhart. Live a full and prosperous life, and maybe one day we'll see each other again. I'll listen for tales of your travels because I know that you're no longer going to stay in Costa del Sol. How do I know? I've known you forever, and I know you won't stay. You're too full of energy and excitement. If you see any of our old friends, tell them I say hi. Tifa don't think that I'm leaving because I can't stand your love for me. Never, ever think it is your fault. Tifa I want to love you. I want to love you so badly but I can't. I'm never going to hurt you again, because you don't deserve it.
Maybe one day… Maybe one day we'll find the little bit of happiness that belongs to us.
Love,
Cloud Strife
The letter fell out of Tifa's hands and came to rest under the coffee table. She started shaking all over again. When the tears sluiced down her face, she knew that there was no more hope. Cloud would never love her.
Tifa stood in the doorway of her dark home. Everything was packed up and she had finally sold the house and all of her belongings, except for her necessities. Tifa decided she would go on a journey like Cloud had said. He did know her too well, after all. Tifa sighed heavily and went outside and locked the door. She put the key in an envelope and left it in the mailbox of the person who had bought her home. She would go and find her friends, because she hadn't seen them in six months.
Tifa gazed at her home that she had shared with Cloud for the past months. It really had felt like home to her. When she finally backed away from the house, she felt a great burden had been lifted off her shoulders. She was casting away the six months of her life that she desperately had wanted to become her real life. A life with Cloud. A normal, happy life with the one she loved. Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy. Tifa smiled a little. But maybe, just maybe, one day she could find a little bit of happiness, just like Cloud had said.
A/N: Yay for prologues. I liked writing this. Review, review, review! Then I'll have inspiration for the following chapters! Thanks to everyone who read this! And I apologize for any grammar/spelling errors. I proof-read a lot of times, but you know how things happen. So PLEASE review!
