Hi and thanks for reading my story! I do not own any characters from HIMYM. Enjoy!
There was so much to take in. So many things had been said today… really important things. Some pretty earth shattering things. For one, we were all gathered around a now pregnant Lily, congratulating our friends on their third child. That piece of news was earth shattering, and amazing. However there was another piece of news, just as earth shattering, but not as amazing, strategically glazed over by two very sneaky people, Barney and Robin. They got divorced… and we didn't even know. The last tie to Robin that we had, the last puzzle piece to all of our happy endings… was gone. And knowing Barney, he would avoid every attempt to get him to talk about it. So naturally, I had to try.
I looked at my friend as he awkwardly stood next to his ex-wife, waiting for Lily's hugs to be over so he could escape the situation. He looked back at me, flashed a quick smile, and looked back at the ground. As the chatter died down, and we all began to head out, I stayed behind as I watched Barney try to wiggle out first.
"Barney!" I called to him. He stopped quickly and turned around, eyes still glancing at the door.
"Yeah? What's up?" he shot back.
"Uh, can we talk?" I asked casually. I didn't want to scare him off by acting too serious about it, but he knew exactly what I wanted.
"Uh, yeah." He responded just as casually. He slowly strode back to where I was. "Crazy day huh? Lily's pregnant again, that's some news. Well, not news to me, since I figured it out way before you guys, what up?" he quickly spat out, shooting his hand up for a high five.
"You and Robin got divorced?" I asked slowly, still astounded at what I had heard earlier that night. Barney's grin faded into frustration as his raised hand met his brow and massaged his head.
"Ted, don't" he deflected.
"No, Barney. This is huge… for both of you, for the whole gang, this is huge, Barney. And if you don't talk about it, then this thing is going to eat away at you. I know you, Barney. Please, just talk to me."
Barney sighed. He walked over to the small table next to the couch and picked up his unfinished scotch.
"What is there to tell, Ted? Robin and I didn't work out. You all saw it coming. Hell, even I saw it coming. I spent all those years trying to stave off our inevitable end because I knew, at some point, the universe would figure out that we just aren't meant to be." He took a long swig of his scotch.
"But you love Robin, and Robin loves you, Barney!" I insisted.
"No we don't, Ted! I don't love Robin, and she doesn't love me. It's over. It's done." He finished his scotch and turned away from me, walking towards the window, breathing quickly.
"Barney, I cannot stand here and watch you lie to both me and yourself. I've seen the way you look at Robin since 2007. The look you give her is nothing like the look you give other women, Barney. This look you had, you have, is unmistakable. Nobody does this to you, Barney, especially no women. I didn't see it with Nora or with Quinn. This look, Barney, it's love. You can't hide it. I doesn't just go away! I have never seen you care so much about anybody before, look at anybody like that before, and for you to tell me that you don't love Robin, well that is just not true."
"Of course it's not true!" he whipped back around. His face was hot and there were tears in his eyes. I paused and looked at my friend. He looked like a scared puppy. He was so vulnerable.
"So then what happened?" I asked softly, pleading Barney to open up to me.
Barney crumbled on the couch. I walked over and sat next to him as he rested his arms on his knees, head down in shame. He was crying. Barney Stinson was crying.
"Robin changed you, Barney. The crazy pick-up artist I met in 2001 is not the same man that is sitting here now… and it's because of Robin. But the Barney I know wouldn't quit just because something sounds hard. The Barney I know takes on life as a challenge to be accepted, and will do anything to complete it. The Barney I know gives 200% to get the thing he wants. So Barney, tell me… what happened?" I watched as my friend breathed slow and heavy on the couch, silently struggling through every word, trying his best to keep his composure, and deflect every fact I stated. But Barney knew it all to be true, and he blinked hard.
"I promised Robin I'd always be honest with her, Ted. I only made one vow to her, and I broke it." he said covering his face with his hands and dragging them up and down.
"What?" I asked.
"Robin asked me if I was happy. She asked me if 'this' wasn't working. She asked me if we should end it. Now, as much as Robin and I were struggling, as hard as it was, as tiring as it was, as frustrating as it was, I was happy…because I was with Robin, because after so many torturous years, Robin was mine. Robin and I were going through some very difficult times. She was always working, we were never in one place for more than a month, and I spent most of my time alone in hotel rooms across the globe. But if you asked me on one of those weekend afternoons, sitting alone in a Hilton suite in Caracas with half a bottle of bourbon and a couple of old worn out DVD's if I was happy, I would have said yes, because I was. I was happy because as hard as those days were, Robin would come back."
I was astounded by Barney's endurance. He was stronger and more devoted than I thought.
"So why, Barney? Why did you tell her otherwise?"
"Because Robin wasn't happy, Ted, and I knew that. She was happy with her career, of course, but Robin never thought in a million years that she would be dragging along a tired husband with her. Robin felt tied down. I tried to be what she needed, but when it came down to it, she functions better alone, always will. I just never thought she would consider ending our marriage. But when she brought it up, when she offered me an out, I knew it was going to happen, and it was what she wanted. When someone suggests divorce, or a separation, or a break up, you know they are hoping you will say yes. Robin offered me an out, but what she was doing was asking permission for one."
He paused.
"Ted, everything you said was true. All of it. I love Robin. I don't think that will ever change. She may still even love me, but we can never make that work. I guess it's just the way it's meant to be."
"But it's not about making it work. You love each other. Barney, I've known you for fifteen years now, and your quest for Robin Scherbatsky has made you a better man. And I know things like this scare you, but you have to keep hope, because you are a good person, Barney. Anybody who knows you like I do knows that. You have an admirable heart, Barney, and-and you are one of the bravest people I know and if anybody doesn't see that, well…"
Barney just smiled up at me. His eyes were still teary, something that was out of place on Barney, someone who shoved his emotions under a throw rug and beat them till they bled. To see Barney go through the transformation he did, to see him change for someone, to sacrifice for someone, was commendable and amazing. It was such a tragedy to see a vulnerable Barney, go through all he did for nothing. But perhaps it wasn't for nothing.
"You're my brother, Barney… and I will always be here." I said. It was the least I could say to someone as screwed up as Barney was right now. He breathed out sharply and I wrapped my arms around my friend. Normally, Barney would squirm out making disgusted noises at the un-masculine sign of affection, but this time he didn't. After a second, Barney sunk. He began to silently sob in my shoulder as he feebly put his arms around me in return.
"Thanks, Ted" he muffled.
We sat there for a short moment as I let Barney cry on my shoulder. It was something I don't think he ever had the chance to do, and I felt pity for him. As messed up as he was, Barney was so dear to me, and I needed him to know that.
By the time we walked out of the room a little while later, we found Robin, the only one left in the foyer. As we stepped out, Robin looked back at us, first at me, with a look of thanks, then at Barney. I looked back at him, he was smiling, no trace of grief or tears. Robin put on a small smile as she observed her ex-husband. I said goodbye to them both, and as I walked out, I saw Barney and Robin exchange a look and a sad smile, both knowing that it would be one of the last times they would see each other in a long time.
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