Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Blackberry Addictions:
Summary: "Really forehead ,It's simple math. Naked Sakura + Horny Men = Mad Sasuke."
"ITALICS" - INNER THOUGHTS , FLASH BACKS
"NORMAL" TALKING
BOLD ITALICS -INNER SAKURA
You have been warned this fan fiction contains some crack and profanity.
"Sasuke-kun" A sexual moan filled the room.
The mentioned Uchiha turned his head to the owner of the melodious voice. He raised an eyebrow and looked up at his long time wife. The curvaceous goddess laid in their king sized bed with silky white sheets wrapped around her body. Her long pink tresses fanned out on the pillow beneath her head. A seductive grin made it's way onto her pretty face.
"Come play with me, Sasuke-kun."
Sasuke let out a sigh and went back to pushing buttons on his new love, his BlackBerry.
"SASUKEEEE"
"Hn."
"You don't love me!"
"Ah."
"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"
"Shut up, Sakura."
"SCREW YOU, SASUKE!" Sakura screeched as she jumped up and down on the bed, the couple shared; the bed sheets getting ruined in the process. The raven haired man let out a grunt and stood up from the edge of their bed and sat down Indian style on the floor.
"Quit be annoying." He grunted, not sparing the pink haired medic a glance.
Sakura gaped like a fish at her husband, usually when she insulted him, he would argue back and do some pretty physical activities with her. This time he had bluntly ignored her advances. The pink haired girl stopped jumping on the bed and hopped onto the floor. She pulled a scrunchy out of a drawer and tied her hair up into a high pony tail. Her emerald eyes hardened as she stared at the cell phone in her husband's hands. For an antisocial self proclaimed avenger, it was alarmingly shocking to see him hooked onto a phone.
Who in God's name could he be talking to? Naruto? He saw the moron every damn day. Neji? Sai? Those conversations would be a series of grunts and stares.
She didn't even know Sasuke was capable of even carrying on a full out conversation. Irritation bubbled within Sakura, on top of being sexually deprived her mood was murderous.
Sakura didn't know what that cellular device had that she didn't. First of all she was a woman. A pretty damn, hot one with luscious breasts and a sexy ass. Second of all, she was hours of fun. Last but not least, Sasuke couldn't have sex with a Black Berry.
She huffed and ignored the look Sasuke sent her way. The puzzle just didn't add up, her husband had an insatiable sexual appetite. The fact that she was standing fully naked before him and he had yet to pounce on her, created waves of suspicion.
The couple hadn't been sexually active for weeks, since Sasuke got his new Black Berry and Sakura was positive she would end up pouncing on him in the middle of the street if she didn't get any action soon. The Uchiha was extremely talented between the sheets. Sakura bit her lip at the thought of getting it on in public, mental images of the raven haired Uchiha bending her over in public and ravenously taking her flooded her thoughts before a moan slipped past her lips.
Sasuke looked up at his wife with a raised eyebrow, silently asking if everything was alright. She hissed cattily. "Well if you would just come and play with me, I would be alright."
"Can't. I'm busy right now."
"Who are you? Where's Sasuke?"
"You're annoying."
"So loving. Such a loving husband."
With a shake of her head, and new found determination. Whatever that Black Berry had, Sakura was determined to beat it and get her husband's undivided attention back.
"You're annoying Sasuke-kun, I'm going to go make lunch."
"Hn. You can't cook naked, Sakura."
Glare.
"Watch me." She smirked before turning around, giving the Uchiha a view of her ass.
Sakura sipped on her iced tea as she re-told her morning encounter with Sasuke. In between sentences she smacked her head against the white cafe table in agony. The other girls rolled their eyes at how dramatic she was. Ino sighed "Forehead, you're going to break that poor table."
"Pig, I am in a crisis." Sakura scowled, rubbing her now red forehead. "He called me ANNOYING! I just wanted to get laid."
"Poor Sakura, girl you've probably got the best sex life out of all of us. Sasuke's an intense guy."
Tenten smirked, "Neji told me about that one time you two fucked in the ocean at Naruto's beach party. He saw you two. Not really discreete if I say so, it's Naruto, if his two best friends go missing unexpectedly, everyone knows whats up."
Sakura let out a strangled cry "Oh my god. I just want to die now."
The weapons mistress grinned evilly, "Sorry you cant Mrs. Uchiha. Mr. Uchiha would flip the world upside down and the planets if anything happened to you."
"Even Naruto-kun says Sasuke-san has been weird lately but maybe that's just because they aren't having their usual death matches." Hinata shyly piped in, traces of her childhood stutter gone. "Ne, Saku-chan, our husbands were like that to, when they got their phones. " She spoke gently as she fixed her dark blue jean shorts. She smiled and took a bite out of her delicious chocolate cupcake.
The pink haired girl looked at TenTen, Ino and Hinata with growing irritation in her eyes, "Were they addicted to them like Sasuke?"
Ino let out a manly snort, Sakura couldn't help but laugh at her best friend "Actually forehead, Shika's to lazy to even use his. It's to troublesome." The woman all laughed at the blond's impression of the lazy genius.
"Naruto-kun, broke his, the day he got it." Hinata calmly stated as it if were a fact. Naruto and technology never really got along. The lavender eyed woman blushed. The pink haired girl couldn't help but giggle at her best friend.
"Oh my, that's so Naruto. What can I say, my brother from another mother was always retarded with technology." Sakura said as she gestured a waiter over to clear their table of all it's dirty dishes. A timid man with dark brown hair, complied with Sakura's demand as he quickly noted that it was "Sakura Uchiha" he was dealing with and rushed over to the table. The pink haired girl eyed the man's name tag.
"Akiro, please take these dishes away."
"Hai, Uchiha- Sama."Akiro stated before politely bowing down to the pink haired powerhouse and the other three women with her. No human being wanted to face the wrath of Sakura's ruthless husband. If Sakura wasn't treated the right way, Sasuke would make sure a Chidori made it's way up your ass.
"When was the last time you and the ice cube had sex?" TenTen asked after she had sure that no one was listening. Akiro had disposed of their dishes and left the women all alone.
"WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING FOR WEEKS! KAMI-SAMA, I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER. This morning I tried and he ignored me! Kami! He even takes his Black Berry into the shower!" The pink haired girl pulled at her locks frantically. A few random people gazed at Sakura's outburst and then resumed back to what they were originally doing.
"I think I'm going crazy!"
"Sakura-chan you're not crazy. You're just different." Hinata looked over at TenTen ,who looked over at Ino; the blond haired woman, who was grinning like a madman.
"Oi, Forehead, If Sasuke won't pleasure you, why not find some else to?"
The emerald eyed girl looked at her best friends like they were crazy, "I'm not going to have sex with another man."
Ino slammed her fist down on the table, "YOUR HUSBAND'S ADDICTION HAS GONE TO FAR!"
A sweat drop made it's way down the side of Sakura's head, "No, aren't you being just a tad bit, over dramatic?"
"NO. It's time to implement plan HSUFSUIOHBB!"
Hinata and TenTen stood up next, to Ino as she placed her hand on her hip. Sakura mentally noted that Hinata and TenTen seemed to know what plan HSUFSUIOHBB was.
"Hai! Ino-chan!"
Sakura smacked her head against the table yet again. The pink haired girl swore she was going to get a bruise from all the head banging she had been recently doing.
"Can I ask a question?"
"Yes. Sakura-chan." The three chirped in unison.
"What's plan HSUFSUIOHBB?"
"It stands for, Have Sasuke Uchiha Fuck Sakura Uchiha Instead Of His Black Berry."
The pink haired girl let out a groan, her friends were fucking morons! "Did it have to be that specific?"
"YES, now BREAK!" The girls let out a hoot before dramatically jumping out of the cafe's window, leaving Sakura alone. A loud THUD, snapped the girl out of her trance. The pink haired girl heard the voices of her friends from a distance.
"INO , DON'T LITERALLY BREAK SOMETHING!"
"Aye ya, that bike was in my way."
"Maybe you should stop pigging out, pig."
"SHUT UP TENTEN-CHAN!"
Sakura smiled to herself. Her best friends definitely were idiots.
"TEME!"
"Hn."
"I love you."
"Ah."
"KAMI SAMA, HE'S ADDICTED! Teme , sex! GO HAVE SEX!" Naruto screeched as he threw kunai's at his best friend. Sasuke skillfully dodged the projectiles while typing on his new love.
"That's it! I LOST ALL HOPE IN YOU SASUKE! I don't know why Sakura-chan married you!"
"Hn."
"You're such a penis."
Sai smirked, "Unlike you, he's got one dickless." The pale artist, was leaning against the railing of the training grounds, his sketch pad tucked underneath his left arm.
Naruto threw a punch at the ex- root member, who expertly dodged it. "Can you screw off with the dick jokes!"
"Whatever, Dickless."
"GAH, It's no use!" The fox boy proclaimed out loud, he frowned a bit when he realized that both his teammates were ignoring him. His baby blue eyes stared hard at the Uchiha's phone. How the hell could that contraption be so entertaining? His was at home, being used as a paperweight for all his overdue mission reports.
"I'm going to go visit Hinata-chan!" With that, the number one knuckle head ninja was gone.
Sai looked over at Sasuke.
"Did dickless just say something?"
The Uchiha lazily shrugged his shoulders, "I think he said something about being gay."
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO NO NO!"
"DO AS I SAY MINION!"
"No! I refuse to walk down the street butt naked!"
Ino smacked her hand against the dresser,"Damn, there goes twenty four of my genius plans!" Sakura looked at Ino with wide eyes, her mind didn't even want to process Ino's ridiculous plans.
"Why do your plans always involve me, stripping?" The blond haired girl rolled her eyes like it was the simplest thing in the world, "Really forehead. It's simple math. Naked Sakura + Horny Men = Mad Sasuke."
The pink haired girl innocently shook her head, "I don't get it."
"It means he'll be so mad, that he will forget about that phone of his and pound into you all night!" TenTen screeched, as she laid down on Ino's bed.
Hinata blushed. "Panda-chan, is right."
"I. REFUSE. TO . STRIP"
"Fine, I'll think up of another plan." Ino deadpanned.
.
.
.
Sakura let out a groan when she looked at her reflection in her circle shaped compact mirror. Her long pink tresses had been played around with giving her the " I just had some hot wild sex look". Sakura's slender neck was covered with fake Hickeys that Ino had feloniously made with the use of ice and salt. The pink haired girl's white summer dress was wrinkled and torn up, some of her supple cleavage was exposed and her make up was smeared.
In total, she looked like she had just had the time of her life.
"Sasuke-kun's going to be so pissed." She thought before ringing the door bell to her house. Sakura faintly heard the steps of her husband going down the stairs. The next few seconds seemed to take forever. How ever, she was afraid of what Sasuke's reaction would be to her current appearance. A couple of seconds later, the pink haired girl was greeted with the sight of a shirtless Uchiha furiously pounding keys on his Black Berry.
He looked up at her and then looked back down at his phone, completely ignoring the shorter woman. Sakura let out a sigh and walked past her husband and into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Sasuke hadn't noticed his wife's deformed state. The pink haired girl pulled a jar of coffee beans out of a cupboard and placed them into the coffee maker. The woman pulled a package of biscuits out of the pantry and nibbled down a piece of the delicious delight. The Uchiha matriarch closed her eyes and leaned against the counter, taking in the scent of freshly brewed coffee.
The pink haired woman felt two strong arms encircle her tiny waist and a mouth attack her neck before she was bent over the kitchen counter. "Who did that to you, Sakura?" The girl let out a gasp when she felt the man bite down on her warm flesh, his hands made their way to her heaving chest, massing the mounds. A moan slipped past her lips, when he started rubbing her red peaks. "Who was he?"
Sakura couldn't form coherent thoughts as white hot pleasure shot through her body, when her lover inserted two fingers into her dripping wet core. "Oh. Someone very ... ugh..sexy.""
An angry snarl escaped from the Uchiha, and his pace slowed down. "His name." Sakura let out a low strangled moan and turned around to face her raven haired husband. "Hm. I'm not going to let you hurt, my toy, Sasuke."
"Sasuke-kun." He corrected her, rubbing her womanhood. Sakura trashed violently against his hand, begging for a release. Sasuke smirked deviously at his wife, before completely stopping."His name, honey."
"He was so talented in bed Sasuke. I hadn't felt that good in years!" Sakura knew she was pushing the onyx eyed man's buttons. Sasuke was quite the possessive type.
In a flash, Sakura found herself roughly being pushed onto her back and her top being torn off. The cool surface of the marble counter ran shivers down her spine as Sasuke left his love bites on his pink haired wife, "Quit playing games Sakura."
Sakura feigned shock "Who says I'm playing games?"
"You love me to much to cheat on me." He smirked.
"Cocky much?" Sakura pulled Sasuke into a heated kiss. Her inner was doing flips, since it had been three weeks since she last kissed him. The pink haired girl suddenly stopped throughout the kiss. The young woman placed her hands over her exposed nipples from the Uchiha's eyes. Deciding that teasing the sex deprived Uchiha was more fun. The taller man grunted in disapproval.
"Ne, Sasuke-kun's been so distracted with his new phone. He forgot all about his poor little Sakura-chan."
BEEP.
Sakura turned around and poured her coffee into her "Best Doctor" mug and moved past the nin. Sasuke sighed and followed his pink haired lover into the living room.
"Sasuke-kun, care to explain why you were such a jerk? You left me SEXUALLY DEPRIVED! DAMN IT!"
The Uchiha smirked, he knew he was talented when it came to love making.
"I wasn't doing it on purpose, Tsundae and the elders were constantly sending me mission info, criminal whereabouts and all that other crap."
Sakura mentally slapped herself,"So you still love me?" The coffee mug in her hand was now long forgotten. The girl straddled the Uchiha.
"I always have and always will."
The emerald eyed girl smiled and pulled Sasuke into another passionate kiss.
"So there's no other man?" Sasuke questioned as he carried his wife up to their bedroom to make some hot love.
Sakura grinned. "Well there is."
Sasuke rose an elegantly arched eyebrow.
"I think you know him pretty well. He's tall, has chicken butt hair and I love him a lot. "
"Sounds like a pretty lucky guy. You have to introduce me to him." Sasuke replied as he dropped Sakura onto their bed and proceeded to strip them both of their clothes.
"Aww,Sasuke-kun! I love you."
"I love you to, Sakura."
"FUCK ME NOW, SASUKE!"
The Uchiha could only smirk at his short tempered wife.
"Gladly."
.
.
.
"TEME, OPEN UP! I know you're making love to my sister!"
"SHUT UP, NARUTO! LET SASUKE POUND INTO FOREHEAD GIRL!"
