A/N: This is a Nigeru spinoff. It starts after they get home to the apartment, before they go back to school. I'd say somewhere within chapter 5. I got the idea because I wanted to show why Shinji should be taller than Asuka. The title is from an elective course I had in college - Anthropology 187: Sex and Culture. Don't worry though, it won't even need an M rating. Enjoy!

Anthro 187
08.17.2006

It's unfair.

I'm a girl. I enjoy being a girl. In fact, I adore being a girl. Yeah, it's so much more fun to be a girl than a boy that they wrote a song about it once. Something about flowers, telephone calls, and drooling over dresses. Yeah, yeah, that's the one. Hmm, sweet as candy and a female female? Compliments going to my head like brandy? Hek hek hek, not likely, but the boys don't need to know that! Mwahahaha!

From a scientific standpoint, the female's power over raging male hormones is absolutely breathtaking! Hahahaha! Especially when she's in heat. Wait! That's not right. What am I saying? I am not a dog. I am not a rutting animal, although some boys sure act like one! Okay, hang on, mustn't get all worked up... deep slow breaths... Yesss.

I. Am. Female. Woman. Girl. Yeah... But... it really is so unfair. Why do boys grow like weeds?

Before I could continue that train of thought, a loud knock rattles my shoji. Egad, I've been gone too long. It's the idiot come to nag.

"Asuka? Are you still coming with me to the store? It closes in two hours."

"Yes, baka! Give me a minute, I'm coming right out." Yosh! I'll show him!

Che, this room's a mess. It looks like Misato's room. I know, I know, my fault. I need to pull myself together and prepare for war! So I rummage in the closet to get dressed. I said one minute right? I'll be ready in one minute if it kills me!

In this battle for world domination, I swear, I shall defeat you Ikari Shinji! Mwahahaha! Dang it, where's my bra?

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This is... unnerving.

She's been doing it since lunch. What the hell's wrong with her? She seemed fine at breakfast but now she's creeping me out. I know she's trying to be sneaky about it but how can I miss that insane look in her eye? It makes me want to run and bury my head in the sand or something. Mustn't run away, mustn't run away...

"Asuka, you're staring at me again."

"What? Who? Me? Dream on, Shinji."

I sigh in relief when she stomps off ahead of me and disappears into the grocery store. This is going to be one of those days. I hurry on inside only to find Asuka standing by the potatoes holding a bottle of ketchup, lost in deep thought.

"Why are you acting strange?" I tap her on the shoulder and she jumps and then glares at me.

"What do you mean by strange?" She asks as she looks up at me and squints at my hair. She frowns and the little furrows between her brows deepen.

"Nothing. It's just that, something's up. I can tell. You've always been a bit er – weird. Sorry. But this is worse than you usually are. You've also been quiet the whole afternoon." I turn away to hide the concern in my face.

Potatoes, I check the list. Yeah, we need that. I grab a large sack of it and heft it into our cart.

"Shinji, turn around and hold still."

"Huh?" I turn to find her scowling, still holding the ketchup bottle. Then she comes up to me really close and I start to sweat.

"Who are you calling weird, dummkopf?" When I think she couldn't get any closer without my knees knocking together in agitation, she stops and puts a hand on her head. Then she draws an imaginary line from her head to mine.

Hmm, it seems she barely comes up to my eyebrows. "Uh, Asuka..." I can't help but grin. Ooops, that seems to set her off even more.

"At least three inches. When did you grow three inches?"

"Um, I was already an inch taller than you before."

"No, you weren't."

"Then you were 'out' for awhile and it's been a month since we er – got back."

"Yeah, but who grows three inches in that short time? It's not normal!"

"Really?" I ask, scratching my head. Oh, I know what this is all about! "Is this about the pickle jar?"

Aha! Eye twitch. Bingo!

"N-noo... this has got nothing to do with the pickle jar."

I grunt and turn away to finish our shopping. Misato-san has made a long list and we need to hurry or we won't be done before the store closes.

I bet I can make both her eyes twitch, though.

"It's not a big deal, you know, that I could open that jar and you couldn't." Is that the whistle of steam coming out of her ears? Uh oh, I guess I'm dead. Oh well, one more won't matter then. "After all, Asuka... you ARE a girl."

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My hand hurts. I think I slugged stupid Shinji too hard. Too bad I hit his shoulder and not his jaw. Did he dodge it? Shinji? Nah, I must have been aiming too low. I need to get used to his height.

Boys. I growl, putting all the disdain I could muster into that one word.

Said specimen is currently cooking dinner and not paying one bit of attention to me. Really, no respect! Can't a girl slip into a coma for a while without him suddenly sprouting half a head taller and getting broader in the shoulders than I remember? All hands and feet and long arms and legs, honestly, how gangly and ungraceful can he be? I bet if I give him a couple more months he'll start to tower over me and grow more hair.

Unfair! How does a puny one like him become stronger by virtue of that 'y' chromosome alone, huh? Can someone explain that to me? He didn't even need to work out to become stronger than a superior female like myself! Stupid male hormones.

I stare sourly at Shinji as he checked the rice and finished slicing the potatoes into paper-thin wedges.

"Asuka, will you cut it out? Stop muttering and help me with this, will ya?"

"I'm tired." I answer, staring at Shinji's biceps. They had bunched up nicely under his sleeve when he hefted that heavy potato sack into the cart. And again when he carried that twenty-five pound sack of rice and carefully refilled the ricebox. Small biceps, lean and knotty, looked strong...

"Asuka, if you have energy to sulk, you have energy to fry these."

I leave my place at the table and turn on the gas. "Sulk? Who's sulking?" I snort at him. "I'm thinking." I start frying and for a minute I forget to be irritated. Ahh... this smells good. "How come you can get it this thin?"

"Practice. If you do it often enough you get better."

"And just what are you trying to say? That I should cook more often?" Hmm, there's a thought. Yesss, that'll work. All I need to do is go back to my usual training routines... and you, baka Shinji, are going to eat your words!

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I watch Asuka cooking for awhile and was about to leave her to it so I could go set the table, when she suddenly froze and got that unfocused look on her face. Cripes! Again? Leave it to Asuka to daydream over a hot stove. NOW what is she thinking about? One minute she's sniffing the pan, the next she's back in her own world.

"Oi, Asuka, don't burn the chips."

She looks at me and, uh oh, is that an evil glint in her eye?

"I know what you're thinking, dummkopf, that you are much better at this than I am! You may be taller too but you are definitely NOT going to remain stronger!"

She snaps the gas shut and the flame sputters and dies. Then she transfers the fried potato chips to a plate and holds it under my nose with a flourish. Not bad. Nothing is burnt.

I think I'm going to regret having so much fun at her expense. Yeah, I know that look. You know, the manic one, when she gets overly competitive. Here it comes...

"I, Asuka Langley Sohryu, challenge you, baka Shinji, to a game of arm wrestling!"

She dumps the plate in my hands and walks off laughing and muttering.

Arm wrestling? With Asuka? Man... that conjures up all sorts of images... yes, yes... no, no, no! Must be good... must be good...

My knees start to feel weak so I slump into the kitchen chair, still shaking my head to clear it.

Yep, it's definitely one of those days. And knowing how nutty that redhead is, this is far from over. I'm so dead.