READ THIS: This series will be a collection of one-shots [maybe even a few two-shots], so if you would like to make a request or give me a few ideas, I definitely would love that! That also means that the summary will be changing with every new update. Sorry. Also, each one-shot will have it's own rating, pairing, universe, whatever you want to call it. The point is that they're completely separate. As far as requests go, I'll take any pairing. Just let me know! Okay, thank you for reading! On with the show!
For those who are reading because you found the summary of a certain story interesting: Just go to the last chapter updated and you'll find what you're looking for. Sorry if it seems confusing. :/
Rating: T
Paring: HikaruxKaoru
Summary: Hikaru finds that games of make-believe are never as great as the real thing.
Hikaru had been playing a game without his twin for a while now, but he still could not decide if he could consider it playing alone or not. Even now, as he stretched back on the bed, still naked, wrapping his arms around to support the back of his head and the girl next to him rested on her stomach, her face turned the other way, he could not decide if it really was just him that was playing. The girl turned her head towards him, jerking him away from his thoughts. He noticed her hand hovering above the sweaty, wrinkled sheets and frowned slightly. He had told her never to touch him. Only one person on this earth could touch him, and it was not her. Yet her hand still hovered. He watched it until, finally, it fell back against the sheets, abandoning its attempt to breach his personal space.
She turned her head, yet continued to rest next to him. He wondered mildly if this girl had feelings for him, though even after doing this for weeks, he still hadn't properly learned her name. He gazed at her quietly, taking in the fact that even after the exertion her body had been through, her skin was still as pale white as... Well, he wouldn't compare it. He saved that for the moments when they were involved. He could pretend her hair was more strawberry than blond. He could make believe that her slim, feminine body wasn't curved in certain areas. He could even change the noises she made into a deeper, throatier voice that matched his. He could pretend she was a completely different person, all except for her skin. It wasn't that she was too pale; she matched the shade perfectly. What it was, was a damn freckle on her right shoulder blade. No matter what, he could never block it out. It didn't matter how much he pretended; it was the constant reminder that the person he was making love to wasn't the person he was in love with.
Almost as if she felt his stare, she turned towards him. He looked away quickly, making sure to not meet her eyes. He couldn't bring himself to look into this girl's eyes, because that would be the final moment when he realized what he had been doing for the past few weeks. It would be the moment he realized just how completely terrible he was, not only as a person, but as a brother. What kind of older brother, meant to protect and love, would actually fall in love with the younger sibling? What sick-minded human being would lust after him as if he were nothing more than a piece of meat? But most of all, who would take advantage of his place of power and use someone else to vent his frustrations out on?
He made himself sick, and he knew that the moment she met his eyes, when everything finally sunk in, he wouldn't be able to take it anymore. She seemed to notice this and sat up, careful to cross her arms over her bare chest as she did so. He could see her out of the corner of his eye. She was about to say something. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want her to speak. "Well, are you going to just sit her all day or go back to work?" he snapped. He stared out the window near the bed with a bored expression on his face.
"That's no way to say hell-" the reply stopped. Hikaru's body went tense as he turned to face his twin, who was frozen in the doorway to their room in shock. He watched Kaoru take in the scene, seemingly soaking up the details like a sponge and displaying his thoughts on his face as he usually did. No one else could read his brother the way Hikaru could, but at this point, he wanted nothing more than to ignore that look of total agony on his little brother's face when their eyes finally connected.
The maid quickly jumped out of the bed, grabbing her clothes and throwing on her dress as quick as possible, but Kaoru's eyes never left Hikaru's. She scurried out of the room, crying quietly, but neither twin noticed. In fact, they didn't even bother to watch her leave the room, let alone did the see her stumble into the hallway, breaking into sobs. Instead, Hikaru watched Kaoru's look of pure anguish turn into a fiery anger that seemed to light his every cell. Kaoru moved towards him, his book bag falling to the ground. He had been recently helping out with the club more than usual, staying later and later each day. Hikaru wasn't aware why, but he knew that it seemed to help him get away with his vice.
Kaoru looked as if he was going to hit his brother when he started throwing verbal punches. "You disgust me! In my bed, our bed, you would do something like that? Take your trash somewhere else!" he snarled at his older brother who continued to lounge on the bed, a look of carefully constructed apathy donning his face.
"Do you like her or something? I don't see why you're so upset about," he stated in a bored town, ignoring the way his heart fell to the pit of his stomach and sent waves of pain throughout his body at his own accusation. He looked at his nails, finally pulling his gaze away from those enticingly beautiful amber eyes. No one else could understand how different their eyes were, how Kaoru's reflected nothing but... Kaoru. It gave him shivers just thinking about it. "I'll change the sheets; I always have," he threw in, as if it were an after-thought.
This seemed to make Kaoru even angrier. "How many times have you done this? Who the hell do you think you are? This isn't just your room or your bed! That's mine as well as yours! Is it always with the same girl? How the hell do you know you haven't got some kind of STD, and it's now all over MY sheets?" he continued to shout, his voice growing louder with each question. Hikaru couldn't bare to look into his eyes again, so instead focused on his pretty pointed chin.
"You think our father would hire maids that hadn't been checked for STD's?" Hikaru responded. He cocked his head. "Besides, you never did answer my question. Is it that maid in particular?"
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE GODDAMN MAID!" Kaoru shouted. "Don't touch any maid- anybody- EVER AGAIN!"
Hikaru's eyes finally snapped to Kaoru's face. His eyes were closed and silent tears rolled down his cheeks, as his chin fell to his chest in defeat, yet his fists were clenched as if he were about to strike, and his body stayed tense. Hikaru stood and walked over to his younger brother, not quite sure why he couldn't control himself. Usually, after one of his... Sessions, he could contain himself, but now... With that look Kaoru had... He couldn't take it. He brought his hand to Kaoru's cheek, moving his younger brother's head up. His eyes didn't open, but he didn't pull away. Hikaru rested his forehead against his brother's, feeling his breath run across his face. He just couldn't stand it. Why did Kaoru do this to him? Why Kaoru? Why couldn't it have been the maid with the tear-filled aqua eyes? Why couldn't it have been even Haruhi? That's who he was supposed to love.
No, it had to be Kaoru. Hikaru moved closer to his brother, grabbing his arm tightly. Finally, Kaoru seemed to wake up. He shoved his brother away, glaring. "Don't touch me after letting her touch you," he snarled, taking three steps back as if Hikaru had a disease. Hikaru smirked.
"I've never let her touch me."
Kaoru narrowed his eyes. "But you touched her. That's even worse."
His own eyes widened. He had never thought about it that way before. To be the one that initiated everything... That made it completely his fault, didn't it? Not as if he didn't completely blame himself to begin with. Well, himself and... "It's your fault I did those things, you know," he replied haughtily. Kaoru's eyes looked up at him in shock, but he wouldn't- couldn't- stop talking now that he had started. "If you didn't make me feel this way, if you didn't constantly have me at the end of my rope, if you didn't let me become only yours on our own, things wouldn't be like this. If there had been someone else besides you and me earlier, maybe something could have changed it. Maybe if you were different from me in any way- every way- things wouldn't be how they are now! But they are what they are, and it's you're fault that they're this way just as it is mine!"
Hikaru finally looked up at his brother who stood silent in shock. The looks on his brother's face... Confusion... And guilt... And disgust... Why hadn't he just kept his mouth closed? He sat back on the bed, unable to continue watching his brother's emotions flicker. He rested his head in his hands and locked his fingers in his hair as if he was ready to rip it out. He deserved all of this. He deserved for Kaoru to hate him. He deserved the yelling, the scolding, the looks, everything. He deserved to see the pain he caused his brother, even if it made his own increase ten-fold.
When he looked up at his brother, however, there was no pain as much as understanding. Kaoru stared at him, and their eyes met. His beautiful eyes were filled with an emotion that Hikaru couldn't place, but he felt a strange sense of calm wash over him. Slowly, his brother walked and knelt on the ground before him, resting his hand on Hikaru's knee and keeping their eyes locked. He leaned in slowly and brushed his brother's lips with his own barely, both keeping their eyes wide open. Kaoru pulled away and gave him a tentative smile before standing up again.
He couldn't understand what had just happened. Had Kaoru just... Accepted his feelings? His heart soared with hope that he quickly diminished. Surely his brother simply felt sorry for him. Maybe he was telling him that he accepted him, but he didn't feel the same way. But why would he do that with a kiss? Hikaru's mind reeled. Kaoru clucked his tongue, bringing his elder brother's attention back to him. "Go shower, okay? I'll clean the bed," he told him in a soft voice that made Hikaru's heart warm. His brother's eyes burned through him, and his body felt as if it were floating through water as he headed towards the bathroom without a fight.
The shower passed quickly, feeling almost as if no time had passed at all. His hands moved of their own accord, cleansing him of his previous affairs, but also washing him of something he hadn't quite realized was there. He walked out with a towel wrapped around his waist. Water still dripped down from his hair, tickling his back, but he ignored it. He must have taken longer than he thought; Kaoru had already made the bed and cleaned up his and Hikaru's books from school.
Hikaru moved towards the dresser, pulling out boxers and a tee-shirt before getting dressed in silence. Kaoru had left the room for some reason, possibly because he had heard Hikaru's shower end and wanted to give him some privacy. Or maybe he just didn't want to be around him anymore. Hikaru could live with that, maybe. He started wondering what his life would be without Kaoru, but even as he thought of it as "what if", his whole body felt like it was convulsing in pain. He couldn't bare the thought of losing the only person he had ever trusted, especially over something as stupid as his FEELINGS. What was he, a school girl? He had to tell Kaoru that he could contain himself and that he didn't have to leave...
He turned towards the door only to see Kaoru was already in the door frame with what looked like two cups of tea. "The maid wanted to bring it up, but I told her to stay the hell away for now," he grumbled, walking over to the bed. Hikaru held his breath as his brother passed him, ignoring the surge of warmth that filled him as their arms made brief contact. He turned and sat next to his younger brother, taking a cup.
"Thank you," he muttered and took a sip. They sat in silence for a moment, slowly driving Hikaru crazy, when suddenly Kaoru dropped his cup of tea on the floor, knocked Hikaru's out of his hand, before pushing him down and climbing on top of him. He watched his brother carefully as he leaned down to kiss him again, this time with his eyes closed. Hikaru's heart seemed to stop completely as he let the feeling of Kaoru sink in. If Kaoru didn't feel the same, why did he have to tease him like this? It was driving him absolutely insane, especially as Kaoru's tongue slid over his lips, asking for entrance. Finally, he snapped.
He rolled on top of his little brother, enjoying the way Kaoru's face contorted in shock, and kissed him heatedly, one hand locking in his ginger hair, the other pressing against his hip. He slid his hand up his brother's side, pulling the tee-shirt he must have changed in to while Hikaru was in the shower with it. His fingers traced patterns on his brother's side, causing the boy to gasp. With a smug feeling, Hikaru took advantage of his brother's open mouth, exploring every crevice with his tongue. The feeling of Kaoru beneath him squirming slightly riled him and made him want even more. Pulling away to allow them both to breathe, he looked at his brother through heavy-lidded eyes.
Kaoru's cheeks were bright red, and his eyes were filled with a level of lust Hikaru could never have imagined from his younger brother otherwise. This was so much better than playing pretend, he decided, leaning down to kiss his brother's neck. Using his tongue and teeth, he slowly brought out Kaoru's noises, though light at first, that soon filled the room with cries of pleasure. His whole body was heated at Hikaru's touch, especially as his hands pushed and pulled the tee-shirt over his brother's head and tossed it to the ground. His mouth traveled lower, leaving marks as he explored the expanse of his brother's beautiful, pure, freckle-free pale skin. As he lowered himself to his brother's belly button, Kaoru stopped him, making him meet his eyes. "No," Kaoru muttered, his voice deep and throaty. It only made Hikaru want him more.
With a smirk, Hikaru yanked Kaoru on to the bed properly before retracing his kisses to where he had been. He fiddled with his brother's waist band of his shorts as he slowly traced his pelvic bone with his tongue. Kaoru's moans became choked almost, as if he was trying to hold them in. Hikaru pressed his teeth into the tender skin lightly, enjoying the way Kaoru moved beneath him. "I like your noises," he breathed on his skin. Kaoru moaned again, apparently enjoying the vibration of Hikaru's words through his lips. Kaoru's hands gripped Hikaru's arms as he attempted to bring Hikaru away from his goal.
"Stop, Hika," Kaoru groaned halfheartedly. His hand moved from Hikaru's arm to lock his fingers in his hair, making Hikaru smirk.
"Oh, you really want me to?" he asked, kissing back up the boy's stomach, noticing suddenly how many marks he had left. Maybe the boy hadn't liked it as much as it really hurt him. Then why didn't he push him off? Maybe he felt bad for him. Hikaru ignored his thoughts, letting his body control his actions. He leaned in to his brother's ear, letting his tongue run over the sensitive skin there. "Is that really what you want, Kaoru?"
Kaoru groaned in response, but still pushed Hikaru's wandering hands away. "No, but yes. Not now." He opened his eyes and let them connect with is brother's. "Let me enjoy this a little longer," he added.
Hikaru flopped on top of his brother in exasperation. How could he say no to that face? Then again, how could he say no to that body? He let out a huff of air before returning his brother's warm embrace. "Enjoy what? Torturing me?" he snapped in not-so-fake irritation.
He knew Kaoru was smiling even without looking at his face, even before he spoke. "The fact that you love me," he stated calmly, but Hikaru could feel a slight shake in his body. Could it have been from pleasure? Surely not. Who would be glad to know that their older brother was in love with them?
He bit back his retorts and buried his face in his brother's neck, noticing the already bruising mark. He kissed it lightly before replying, "I do love you."
"I love you too."
Yes, this was so much better than playing pretend.
Uh. So, I hope this wasn't shit. Please let me know what you think! Were the characters alright? Was it easy to read? Did I repeat myself too many times? I'm kind of nervous about this one, because not only is it nearly two in the morning, but this is my first fanfiction for Ouran, let alone for this pairing. haha
Cheers!
MiniFeverency
