Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…for the time being I don't anyway. :snickers:

Author's note: I don't know where the idea came from but I have all of it basically set out, except for the dialogue for the characters. Yes it's another chapter story, the others are kind of boring me, but I won't leave them unfinished. ^_^

Warnings:

1.) Yaoi=boyxboy

2.) Cursing

3.) Sex (I'm not entirely sure on it being explicit (50/50 chance))

4.) Character Death

5.) Illegal activities (selling drugs, killing, gangbanging, prostitution, etc…)

6.) Dark fic

7.) Hidan and Deidara OC

8.) Ages of some characters do not fit the anime storyline (i.e. Gaara and Naruto)

9.) The story will be short, nothing long and tedious. But perhaps some chapters might be kind of long. Sorry if you don't like that, but it's time to get over it.

And I'd also like to thank Mokana-chan, my awesome beta-reader for editing and critiquing this story for me; much appreciation and love goes out to ya. ;)

I believe that's everything, something else might come up in the story, although I already know how this story is going to go. But if something else does arise, I'll be sure to warn you of it…Well let's begin, shall we. Sit back, Relax and Enjoy. (SRE!) ^_^


The Adoption of Two Wielders

A red Honda maneuveredinto a barren parking space and the roar of the engine died. Two hands opened the doors on both sides of the vehicle and stepped out into the light.

One of the men had blonde hair that draped pendulously over his left eye. Dressed in an all black suit, he gradually dusted himself off. The other, had purple hair slicked back with a black trench coat and an erect collar, showing the aptly inner red color of the attire.

They both look professional, save for the irritated expression the purple haired man wore.

"Deidara, why am I wasting my time with this"? He growled to the blonde as they walked towards their designated destination. The sign on the building read: "Adoption Center".

"Well Hidan", he bit back earnestly. "If I must repeat myself—we'll need more operatives than the ones we have to assist us conduct this operation. As Pain explained, conquering this world won't be easy." Hidan scoffed.

"When has anything ever deemed to be 'easy'"? He inquired bitterly. They stood in front of the building, and Deidara tidied himself a bit before entering, Hidan towed.

"Pain gave us our orders, so just accept it and try to be pleasant until it's over". The blonde whispered as they crept to the front desk, approaching the young women occupying the seat behind it.

"Hello, I'm Kaori, how are you two gentlemen today"? She inquired giddily, a smile gracing the curves of her lips.

"We're fine". Deidara answered gaiety. Laggardly, and with reluctance, he wrapped one arm over Hidan's shoulder, who looked at him indignantly. The girl's smile broadened. "We're here to adopt, so if you could just show us where the children are, we'll—"

"Oh, well I'd love to put one of the children in your care", she said leisurely, his smile dissolved slowly as she spoke. "You seem like a lovely couple". Hidan's eyes widened slightly.

Couple? He suggested puzzling to himself.

"But regulations forbid me from just giving one of our little ones to you". Deidara's smile faded into a blank stare. "I'll need you to fill out these forms first", she insisted apologetically, handing Deidara the appropriate stack of papers.

Hidan clenched his jaw in protest, Deidara's hand clenched around his shoulder to admonish his temper. Deidara's smile returned.

"We understand. That'll be fine". Deidara said. Kaori's smile resurfaced as she rose up from her seat.

"You can take a seat over there", she said as she pointed to the row of chairs against the wall, "and fill them out. When you're finished, come back and we'll get started."

Deidara nodded as his smile stuck in place.

The two stalked over to the chairs. Deidara began scribbling onto the papers. An hour or so later, and a more than pissed off Hidan, Deidara had completed each page diligently.

Deidara glanced over at Hidan, who had his arms crossed over his chest, to see him glare at the floor.

"Stop pouting" Deidara whispered gravely. "That attitude doesn't make this go any quicker. I thought having you come along with me would make this a bit less crucial, but I was mistaken."

"I'm really not in the mood to hear you speak." Hidan growled. "So, go turn in the damn papers so we can go." Deidara's face was emotionless. Both Hidan and him went back over to the lady known as Kaori.

Kaori smiled and nodded. "If you'll please follow me, and then we'll get started". They toiled behind her.

She took them through the back door and into the splendor light of the noon sun. They trekked across the playground where a few children were at play. Kaori occasionally stopped, smiled, and knelt down to speak to them, but otherwise they proceeded forward.

They approached another building and entered. The place was not as furnished as the last that they'd come from, but you could label it decent if you contemplate the dwellings to their own home.

Their eyes scanned over the place until they rested on Kaori bowing to an older woman in a black kimono (1), and black hair that fell beyond her shoulders, which stopped at the top of her shoulder blades. Deidara pulled Hidan down to bow to the woman as well, earning him a snarl.

"Good afternoon Ms. Hiruko", Kaori greeted perpetually. The proclaimed "Hiruko" nodded her acknowledgement. Kaori stepped aside. "These two gentlemen would like to adopt one of the children."

Hiruko smiled at the two. "Delightful." She said, her voice, much like her brittle bones, fragile.

"They have already proceeded with completing the necessary formalities." Kaori enlightened, and handed her their papers. Hiruko flipped through a few of the pages before looking back up at the three.

"Wonderful. Thank you Kaori, you may go back to your station now." Kaori bowed to her, and then the other two before dismissing herself. "Let us get started. But first allow me to start of by saying; you have my utmost gratitude for wanting to give these children a better life. They're doing fine here, but we wouldn't wish this to be their permanent homes." Hiruko's smiled deflated a little, but she recomposed herself.

"That's our plan." Deidara wrapped his arm around Hidan's waist, his smile still perfectly lying upon his face. Hiruko turned down the hall.

"Please, follow me. I'll show you the little ones." She glided down the corridor, Deidara and Hidan tailing the rear.

Hidan pushed Deidara away due to the lingering arm around his waist. "If you touch me one more damn time, you won't live to see tomorrow." Hidan whispered solemnly, his threat intensified by the death glare he was sending him. Deidara was unfazed.

"Play the role", was all he said before they stopped in front of a door at the end of the hallway. Hiruko opened it, disclosing children running and laughing, jumping on each other, screaming and yelling…some crying. It was like a jungle, but a much cuter jungle.

"Children!" Hiruko called over all their nonsense, and simultaneously they all stopped and everything was silent. "Children, these two gentlemen are here to give you a new home." They noted how the children faces lit up instantly. "Unfortunately, they can't take all of you." Then they all deflated, and Hidan smirked. "So, be on your best behavior's okay?"

"Okay Ms. Hiruko!" They all synchronized. Hiruko turned to the adoptive "couple".

"I'll leave you both to look around. (2) When you've decided or if you need anything, I'll be in my office directly across the hall." Deidara nodded, and she turned back to the children. "Remember, best behavior's. You can all go back to playing." And that they did, seemingly uncaring of the two visitors; if they couldn't take them all, then none of them wanted to go.

Hiruko dismissed herself to the room across the hall. The room was once again in an uproar. The room was pretty. It had plenty of bunk-beds, a polished wooden floor, and three windows on the ceiling which made the sunlight beamed through or at night the stars glistened at night. There was a plentiful amount of toys and toy bins. The kids in the room ranged from about five to perhaps nine years old.

"So what now?" Hidan inquired. "Do we just scoop them up and run?" Deidara's expression was blank.

"No, we choose one, and tell her our decision." He enlightened. "We should probably get to work." Hidan didn't lose his cool, but he was skeptical.

"Do you know how long the adoption process takes?" Hidan asked, skepticism riding his voice. He felt his temper rise at the thought of time it would take. It was ridiculous to wait. "It would take weeks for them to actually give us one of these bastards!" He growled, mostly to the blonde. "They'd have to inspect the living environment, and the arrangement for housing, scan our amount of income…it's a pretty long process that would take weeks, possibly months."

Deidara shrugged nonchalantly. "Our orders were to adopt, not kidnap. We'll stick to the plan and report back to Pain as soon as possible."

"Do you always play by the rules?" Hidan asked, a smug smirk contorting his lips. He went unanswered. "Improvising is an important part of life when it regards decision making. Don't you agree?"

"I do agree. Although, no improvising is necessary, the decisions have already been made, and we're just here to carry them out accordingly." Deidara voice became monotone.

He'd been inspecting the children since Hidan began talking, studying and judging them. He determined three categories in his head; social skills, leadership abilities, and their mind flexibility. How was he to determine something like this?

It was simple, he'd observed and considered.

Hidan chose to forget about it. If Pain wanted to wait all that time, then he'll wait some weeks or months, or possible years. It wasn't his problem.

Deidara observed the children, none of them seeming up-to-par with Pain's personality description. He would be disappointed with this select group.

They were pathetic and worthless. But Deidara's visible eye fell on the redhead reading a book in his bunk. He wouldn't separate his face from behind the book, but he noted the stray strands of red hair.

Deidara sauntered over to the boy, while Hidan sauntered elsewhere. Deidara was at the foot of the bed.

"Hi." He smiled. The redhead pulled the book from his face, and that's when he noted another blonde haired boy lying beside the redhead. "Hi to you as well." Deidara said, speaking to the smaller blonde haired child. Deidara's smile grew wider, figuring they'd be more welcoming the larger his smile is.

Neither of the boy's spoke to him.

"My name is Deidara. What're your names?" He inquired, trying to break the invisible ice. The redhead studied the blonde man, judging his suit and smile.

"Gaara." The redhead spoke, his voice raucous. Deidara turned to the blonde beside him.

"And your name?" He asked softly. The blonde snuggled further against the redhead, supposedly frightened by the man. Gaara looked at his blonde friend, their eyes meeting and making a connection of understanding. Then the blonde turned back to the man.

"Naruto." He answered his voice light, and shrill. Deidara chuckled softly.

"May I sit?" He asked, but wasn't given an answer. He sat down anyways.

"It's a pleasure to meet both of you." Deidara exulted. "I see you like to read. I like to read too."

He smiled. He was unaware of Gaara's temper hastily rising.

"How old are you two?" Deidara tried compelling with a warm and welcoming tone.

"Seven." Naruto replied, his little voice shaky. Gaara again was reluctant to answer his question.

"Nine." The redhead finally responded his voice just as raucous as before. His voice, unlike Naruto's had much bass to it. Deidara held that all too perfect smile in place, feeling that the ice was nearly broken.

"How do you like school?" Deidara's voice remained soft and welcoming. Naruto shrugged his shoulders, the simplistic action practically telling the man he had an intimidating aura. Naruto cradled to Gaara further.

Gaara's response was narrowing his eyes.

"What grades are you --", Deidara's voice was overlapped by Gaara's.

"Stop asking us these pathetic questions. We're not dumb." Gaara glared, and that's when Deidara noticed he had no eyebrows, but nonetheless that glare was still mortifying. Gaara could feel Naruto flinch a little, only because the blonde was clutched onto his arm.

Deidara was taken aback, a lost for words. Then his smile fell, and he stood, straightening his suit. "If you insist, then I'll respect you're wishes." His voice was still warm and welcoming, but soon changed into a business-like tone. "But to make this encounter short, it is my wishes and my partners wish to adopt you." He said, referring to the redhead, who glared harder.

Deidara continued. "I feel that you're compatible to our standards and could be put to great use. Your social standing is sufficient, and your leadership to be all but nine years of age is exemplary. I also feel that your mind could be flexed and bent into someone greater than you'd even imagine possible, and I commend you for being the only duo to be reading in this hell hole, with hopes of making it beyond these four walls." He paused, noting Gaara's expressionless face. He continued. "These caretakers lie to you, but I won't, you have no life beyond these walls. The only opportunity you have is coming with us."

Gaara was silent, hardly suppressing the urge to attack this man. Of course he knew there was no hope for them, he'd been here for practically all his life, but this is only Naruto's second year, and he still had hope. Gaara would be damned if this bastard snatched that bit of hope Naruto had left away.

Deidara turned to Naruto. "Shall I analyze your life next?" He asked, smirking from the sensual delight of fear on the small blonde's face.

"You will not speak to him." Gaara growled, shielding Naruto with his body. Deidara swiftly turned his attention back to the redhead.

"That isn't an issue, because I don't want him. I want you." His smirk broadened, transfixing his eyes to gaze into the redhead's jaded gems. Gaara glared again, his eyebrow-less-ness more discernable and intent. Naruto clutched Gaara's arm potently.

"Do we have a deal? I could supply you with everything you'd ever want in life; money, clothes, protection, anything. And you'd have a very…prominent family to be by your side through whatever obstacle you may come across in the duration of your life." He explained. "It's rather simple, all you would have to do in return is do as we say, and only as we say…nothing further than that simple demand."

Gaara was hesitant, as if pondering the offer. Of course they couldn't adopt them if the child him/herself did not want to be adopted. "And if I agree to this, what would be of Naruto?" Deidara darted his eyes to the terrified blonde whose grip became tighter around the redhead's arm when he asked this question.

"He'd stay here." Deidara answered simply. "If you'd like, we could allow you to visit him annually." Gaara's evoked no emotions.

"No." Gaara panned. "He'll come with me." Deidara's brow rose quizzically at his statement.

"And what makes you think I'd agree to such terms?" Deidara asked. "I came seeking one, not two. If you can count that high, that means I only want you."

"If you desire me that much, you'll abide by such terms." Gaara countered.

"Do you believe I need you that much?"

"Yes." Gaara deadpanned. "Either Naruto comes with me, or I don't go at all." The blonde peeked up over Gaara's shoulder, noting the blonde man's thoughtful expression.

Deidara sighed. "Very well."

"And Naruto gets all the promises you've made to me as well." Deidara sneered, but eventually smirked somewhat prideful.

"Very well, but if the deal is the same, so is the bargain. He'll follow whatever we tell him to do, understand?" Gaara didn't answer, mainly because it wasn't for him to answer. It was Naruto's decision who obviously wasn't answering. Deidara continued on. "You're going to be fun to work with." Deidara extended his hand to the boy.

Gaara wasn't quite certain of the man yet, but he took his hand anyhow, closing the deal for himself and Naruto. Deidara smirked.

Master Pain will be pleased with this one. He thought.

"Get off!" Hidan shouted.

Deidara turned and grinned at his partner. The children were attacking him, or what appeared to be attacking him if it was not for the laughter. They clenched at his cloak with their tiny hands, and pulled on it. They were climbing up his legs and back, and jumping back on the ground.

"Get the hell away from me!"

After Deidara helped Hidan away from the throng of orphan mayhem, he stalked back over to his soon to be adoptive sons. Hidan looked them up, and then down.

"These two?" He asked. Deidara nodded. Hidan leaned in toward Naruto.

"What the hell is wrong with this one?" He asked, watching the little blonde boy hid behind the redhead. Gaara pushed the man's face away, and Hidan snarled at the boy who glared potential death at him.

Deidara chuckled at Gaara. "Naruto's a bit timid, but he'll be fine. Gaara here," he said, pointing out the redhead, "is the real accolade." He smiled. Hidan didn't seem impressed. "Gaara, Naruto, this is Hidan." They didn't say anything.

"Whatever", Hidan snarled.


"Gaara and Naruto you say?" Hiruko confirmed. Deidara nodded, that damned smile striking his handsome features once again. Hiruko smiled, her eyes closed for no apparent reason, and she giggled. "Those two are inseparable."

"I know." Deidara said. Hidan sat in silence, exceptionally pissed off at everything this place has made him suffer through. They were both actually sitting across from her in the two chairs on the opposite side of her desk. The room was small, but neat.

"Yes well, I went over all your papers, and everything looks legitimate. Your amount of income is substantial, but are you sure you don't want to see the maternity?" Hiruko inquired to them. "Usually everyone asks about the babies."

"No, we're fine. We're very adamant on those two in particular." Hiruko stopped smiling, a second thought passing through her mind on what he meant by that, but she allowed the thought to pass unattended.

"Okay. Well, I'll send someone out to take care of inspection, and housing arrangements, and if you pass, you'll be saying hello to your two new sons." She smiled. She took the tool she'd stamp documents with, coated it with a thin layer of paint and stamped the papers twice. "The third stamp will be issued when you pass inspection." She smiled. "Have a blessed day, and I'll be seeing you in a couple of weeks."

Deidara nodded, and Hidan rolled his eyes as if saying finally, and they both rose from their chairs. "Thank you for your time and help." Deidara bowed, again pulling Hidan down to do the same. And they sauntered to the door.

"Oh", Hiruko remembered. "I should at least warn you, Gaara could be a handful. He's a bit antisocial -- different to say the least." She explained, her frail voice containing sorrow. But she perked up. "But Naruto on the other hand is an angel. No real complaints about him." Deidara nodded again.

"Thank you, but I'm sure they won't be a problem for us." He bowed, but didn't force Hidan to do the same this time. "Thank you again." And Deidara opened the door, and they leisurely sauntered back to their car.

"Gaara, I don't want to go with them." Naruto admitted, his light voice still a bit shaky from the thought of the blonde haired man, and excessive yelling that came from Hidan.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine." Gaara solaced, embracing the smaller boy in his arms.


(1) Like a nun. ("Black kimono").

(2) I didn't mean it like they were on the market, I was just saying. ("I'll leave you both to look around").