Jenny watched her parents get ready. Her mom slipped on her shoes. Her dad left a note with instructions on the kitchen table for the babysitter. Who wasn't here yet.
Mom and Dad were going on a date. Whatever that was. Jenny didn't see why she couldn't come with. It didn't seem fair. She went out to eat with them the rest of the time. What was different about this evening?
"Aww, Dad," she said. Hopping from one foot to other. "Why can't I come along? I'll be good. I promise!"
Dad glanced down at her. "Sorry, honey. But you have to stay home." He tapped the tip of her nose. "Think of it like this. You get to be in charge tonight. That's a big responsibility."
Well. When he put it that way it didn't sound too bad. But she still didn't want to be left home while they had all the fun.
"But Dad," she whined. "I don't – "
She was interrupted by the doorbell.
Mom finished clipping on her earrings. "That must be the babysitter. I'll get it."
She went to the front door. Let the babysitter in.
The woman was followed into the kitchen by a short man. With black hair. And black eyes. He seemed to have a permanent scowl on his face.
He folded his arms with a glower. Jenny shrank back. Scared.
"Honey." Mom bent down to talk to her. "This is Mr. Vegeta. He'll be looking after you while we're away."
Jenny couldn't speak. Or move. Her eyes wide with terror. She wanted to scream. Who was this guy?
Dad pointed to the note on the table. "We left some instructions, and our phone number in case anything happens. You'll find dinner on the middle shelf in the fridge. You can't miss it."
Her parents both kissed Jenny goodbye. While she just stood there. Petrified.
Then they were gone. She was alone in the house.
With Mr. Vegeta.
He stared at the terror-stricken five year old. Still glowering.
"Right," he said at last. Crossed to the table. "Let's see what they want me to do."
He skimmed over the instructions.
" 'Make dinner. Load the dishwasher. Start the dishwasher. Feed the cat...' Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Do I get to kill anybody?" He read further. "Doesn't look like it. Hmmm." He crumpled the list and threw it away. "So they expect me to cook. What an outrage! Saiyans don't prepare their own meals. I hope what they have in there is a TV dinner."
It wasn't. Mom had chopped up some vegetables and meat. For a stir-fry.
Vegeta frowned at the stir-fry ingredients. "What am I supposed to do with these?"
He seriously didn't know? What kind of person was he?
"You put them in a frying pan and cook them," Jenny said. Finding courage to speak from somewhere.
Vegeta nodded. "Okay. How hard could that be?"
Jenny had seen her mom stir-fry enough times to know Vegeta was doing it all wrong. She stood on a chair and watched. As he burned the food to a crisp.
He threw the frying pan down in front of her. Gave her a spoon.
"Your dinner's ready," he said.
She refused to touch it. Even when he doused it with half a bottle of ketchup. Then a whole jar of mayonnaise.
In the end he shrugged. "Very well. Starve. I'd already killed people when I was your age, you know. Kids today have it so easy."
He scrapped the food into the garbage. Was unable to figure out how the dishwasher worked.
Then he set down a frozen steak and some uncooked french fries for Mr. Tabby, the family cat.
"Here, kitty, kitty," called Vegeta. "This is what cats eat, right?"
Jenny looked at him. Getting less and less frightened all the time. He seemed pretty harmless. Even if he was weird.
"Do you play video games?" she asked.
He stood up taller. "Do I? Of course! I destroy entire planets. What is a measly video game to me?"
"Good," she said. "Mom and Dad will only let me play stupid games. So I wanna do a fighting one! Like they always get to!"
His eyes gleamed. "Fair enough. I accept your challenge. But be ready to lose, human."
Despite his talk, Vegeta lost. Every time. Jenny was tempted to let him win after twenty straight victories.
When he looked at the time.
"Eight o'clock. Alright then," he said, picking her up.
He carried the kicking and screaming girl into the bathroom.
"Let me go!" she wailed.
"No. You're supposed to have a bath at eight. I'm pretty sure being in the same room as a naked kindergardener could get me arrested. But oh well." He dumped her. Clothes and all. Into the tub. Which was dry. "There you go. Get clean."
She sat up. Angry. "That's not how this works, Mr. Vegeta! And anyway, my dad said I'm in charge tonight! Which means you have to do what I tell you!"
He was dubious. "I don't remember that in the list of instructions. Not that I looked carefully or anything. I have better things to do."
"Well, I'm in charge." She stuck out her lower lip. Defiant. "And I'm not going to take a bath. So there!"
She stuck out her tongue.
Vegeta laughed evilly. "Ha! Do you have idea, human child, what I could do to your whole race if I wanted? I'm not just a mere Saiyan. But the prince of all – "
"What's a Saiyan?" she asked. "Is that why you have a tail? Are you a monkey?"
He was not happy that she cut him off in the middle of his diabolical speech. "Enough! I am a prince. Which trumps any authority you have."
"Does not," she argued. "Now read me a story."
Vegeta was aghast. Then his fists curled. He began to glow.
"What, you want a story?" he exclaimed.
The floor burst apart under him. He hovered in mid air. Surrounded by debris.
"I am the prince of all babysitters!" Vegeta bellowed. "I DO NOT READ SILLY BEDTIME STORIES TO LITTLE GIRLS!"
She was unimpressed. "Yes, you do. If you don't I'll cry. And throw a temper tantrum."
He stopped glowing. Hunched down. "Ohh, come on. You can't be serious."
Jenny made ready with the waterworks. Sniffling.
She was deadly serious.
"Fine," he said. "But it had better be a badass story with fighting. And lots of gore."
She picked out the cutest storybook she could find. About pink unicorns. Who treasured love and friendship.
With her tucked in bed, Vegeta started – reluctantly – to read.
" 'Once upon a time,' " he said, " 'there were pink unicorns. Who lived in a magic forest. They were very sparkly and annoying. One day, the prince of all unicorns got fed up and used his vast powers to blow everybody else to smithereens! MU HA HA HA HA! The End.' "
"That's not how it goes!" Jenny protested. She jumped out of bed and stomped her foot.
Vegeta tossed the book aside. "It is now."
Jenny jumped up and down. "Read me another one! And do it right this time!"
"Okay. But I get to choose." He looked over the books. Selected one. Cleared his throat. " 'Long ago in the jungle, there lived a monkey. This monkey was the king of all monkeys and spent his days defeating everyone he came across. He got bored after a while and destroyed the Earth. And everyone on it. Except for a little girl named Jenny who was the brattiest child he had ever met. Somehow she eluded him. He...' "
Jenny pouted. "You're making everything up. My mom's read me that book. And if you get to be a king, I wanna be a magical girl."
"Hey, who's reading this?" he spat. "And the monkey isn't supposed to me! That's absurd! Now where was I? Ahh. 'But the king of monkeys wasn't a mere king. He was a god! Powerful enough to...' "
She flailed her arms. "No! You can't read on unless there's a magical girl!"
Vegeta snapped the book shut. His patience at an end. "I've taken as much of this as I can stand."
He glowed again. But this time with much more intensity.
The walls shuddered. What was left of the floor shattered.
Vegeta's eyes and hair grew lighter in color. The veins stood out on his head and arms. He smirked. Extended his hand.
"BIG BANG ATTACK!"
A ball of energy shot from his palm. It exploded. In a blast of white light. The house shook from the impact. Broke apart.
Parts of it flew all over the neighborhood.
Where it once stood nothing was left but a crater.
Jenny sat there blinking. Covered with debris. And soot.
Vegeta posed in triumph. His eyes and hair returning to normal.
He glanced at Jenny. A threat smoldered in his gaze. "Well? Still want your storybooks?"
She opened her mouth. Slow to respond.
Then it came.
A humongous squeal.
"Whee!" she cried. "That was fun! I wanna do it again!"
Vegeta almost fell over. "You do?"
She ran over to him. "Of course! Blow things up again, Mr. Vegeta! Again, again, again!"
He smirked a second time. The closest he could probably get to a smile. "Want to see me lay waste to this town?"
"Yay!" She threw her arms up. Happy. And hugged Vegeta. "You're the bestest babysitter ever. You should come over every night."
He patted the top of her head.
"Maybe I will," he said quietly. "Maybe I will."
TO BE CONTINUED
