A/N:

Here's the prologue of the sequel! The writing might not be usual me, but I had to try to keep it minimum. I understand if the current length is still too much to some readers, but this prologue covers about 5 years of Sofia and Balian's life together. So to include all the aspects I wanted, this couldn't be a normal short prologue ;)

Enjoy!


He pounded away the metal, which started to remind of a flat form of a sword with each hit of the hammer, taking its ideal shape in the hands which along the years had learnt to conjure anything from even the smallest clump of metal. And by time when he'd once again caught up with secure, ordinary days in life and found them to pass peacefully, he'd realized to enjoy his work. Understanding that he was in fact very good at it, and wished to do nothing else than use his abilities to create wonderful objects and wares for his own family and other villagers, ultimately taking greatest pleasure from the rewards of his efforts. Which mostly was a simple sense of satisfaction due to the thought that he could actually take his abilities and turn them into something everyone could benefit. That he could actually do something with his life. But not only his profession fulfilled his existence, but there had come to be much more he treasured in his life.

Balian smiled to his three year old son who desperately tried to give him a hand, striving to lift the hammer he'd momentarily laid down to gaze outside at the blue afternoon sky. He couldn't help but laugh at the young boy's enthusiasm, in the end only taking the heavy tool away from the child.

"I want to help!"

"Not until you're a few years older", Balian replied patiently, ruffling the boy's dark hair as saw him pout. Damien was very much like Kalilah at that age, and the similarities between the brother and sister gave Balian great amusement every time. He swung the hammer down a couple of times more, then submerging the sword into cold water, a sizzling sound filling the air.

"Where's your sister? You were supposed to help your mother to make dinner", Balian asked, giving Damien inquiring look, until narrowed his eyes. "Or did you do something to anger her? Is that why you're here?"

"It was Kalilah's idea, not mine", Damien complained, looking down, until made another pout. "Mommy got angry because we chased the chickens instead of getting the eggs..."

It was hard to Balian to remain serious as the whole idea amused him, him however keeping his delivery that of a responsible parent's, pulling out the sword and eyed at it after looking at his son. "You know what you mother has said about chasing the chickens. Even if it was Kalilah who started it, you should do as mother says and leave them alone."

"But Kalilah said it would be fun", Damien whined, then smiling, his eyes shining for excitement. "And Darcy was with us too! He chased them all the way around the yard and made us laugh! He's a funny dog, daddy!"

Balian sighed, shaking his head. "That dog..."

He wiped his hands to a rag hanging from his apron, then scooping up the three year old and gave him a strict gaze. Smiling in the end when Damien looked very guilty, realizing what he'd done wrong. "Well next time do as you're told, and don't take part in your big sister's shenanigans."

"Yes daddy."

Balian's smile widened, him then looking toward the house. "Go on. You should get those eggs."

"I don't have to. Mommy already got them and told me to come here to daddy!"

Balian's eyebrows rose. As he'd figured, she'd sent Damien to him to get him out of the way. He sighed again, putting his son back down. But as he was about to speak, a voice interrupted him. A familiar, beloved voice of another person who made his life worth living shouting down at the yard in Arabic. Its impatient tone and scolding words causing the corners of Balian's lips turn up as he then walked at the edge of his smithy. Gazing down at the woman standing under the apple tree which had grown out of that young sprout he'd found after returning from the Holy Land. His wife had never told him what she'd planted into the ground.

"Kalilah! Stop playing around and help!" Sofia exclaimed, directing a frustrated gaze at her daughter who was running about with the family Spaniel instead of doing what she'd been told. Sofia releasing a sigh as placed a hand under her swollen stomach for support. "These fruits won't collect themselves. And if you want your share of the pie you'd better stop your rampage and be of use."

Balian leant against the rafter above his head as heard Kalilah's always cheerful voice answer, the girl running over the grass filled yard and was by her mother's side. Starting to pluck the ripe apples into her own basket from the lower branches, which were so heavy by the weight of the fruits that it made it easy for the child to participate. Balian was all smile when he followed Sofia to make a headshake at their daughter, until then continued to fill her own basket. After a couple of minutes of plucking then tiring out, releasing a heavy sigh and wiped her forehead.

The sun was out high, and it was very hot. Balian feared her to exhaust herself by the vigor Sofia put into such chores she was left to take care of when Balian spent his days working at his shop. He told himself to keep an eye on Sofia to make sure she wouldn't wear herself out in her condition. As Sofia sure wasn't the type of woman to let things such as pregnancy to keep her from working the fullest, which Balian realized with half amused and half frustrated sigh. Making a headshake in turn, then seeing how Sofia straightened again to place her hands on her back. Closing her eyes for a small moment, until they turned to look up. Smile rising to her lips as well as she met Balian's gaze, them exchanging a long, and as was expected a loving look with one another. Yes. They still loved each other beyond measure, if not more.

When Balian thought about the years they'd spent together, he understood that even he'd been married before, back then he hadn't known the true face of love. He'd loved Maryelle like any man would adore their wife. But as he'd come to accept his feelings for Sofia and learnt to know her all the time better by each year that passed, he'd comprised that the relationship between him and his first wife had been rather vague. They'd respected each other as spouses, but the difference laid right there. Balian didn't only respect Sofia, but she'd become more than wife to him, even they could've never married. But regardless Balian had come to see her as part of him, who without he couldn't have continued living the same way. If she would be taken from him, he'd be left incomplete. Without an ability to bounce back from the loss of her like when Maryelle had died, because by dying Sofia would take Balian with her. Leaving but a shell of a man, who would be at total loss of how to live her gone. His other half gone.

Satisfied sigh escaped Balian's lips as he knew Sofia to be right there with him. Under the same roof not going anywhere until the faraway years before them, taking care of the family which soon would gain another member. And the recollection of the small bundle of joy who was but a couple of months away from appearing caused him to separate from the beam. Balian taking his son's hand, them leaving the smithy, on their way to the garden until Damien let go of his hand and ran to Kalilah. Greeted by Darcy who first sprung to the boy to give him a lick on the face, before the animal ran all the way to Balian. His tail wagging furiously, the dog letting out a bark as Sofia now turned to see the man come to a halt to scratch the dog.

"You are a bad influence to the children", Balian murmured, panting Darcy only looking up to him happily, until Balian walked past him. Smile spreading on his lips as with only a couple of steps he was with Sofia, her as delighted irises welcoming him into her embrace as she then kissed him. Balian closing her into his arms, until retreated for surprise when Sofia's bigger stomach than he'd estimated prevented him from pressing close. A laugh escaped Sofia's lips.

"I'm afraid this little dear won't allow you to get close to her mother until three months from now", Sofia said, laughing in the end, causing Balian to smirk as he after all just pressed as close as was able this time. His hands finding their way to feel Sofia's bloated middle torso, where Sofia's rose to stay on his shoulders.

"Thus I have something else to look forward to", Balian said, giving a keen, amorous look deep into Sofia's eyes . Her directing a quick glance toward the children right by their side until laughed again, giving his chest a soft restraining smack.

"How come you left the smithy? Usually we don't see you until nightfall", Sofia questioned, confused.

"I decided to stop working for the day", Balian said, sweeping Sofia's jaw briefly. "I got worried. I need to be with you more and make sure you won't strain yourself and the baby."

Sofia gave him a gentle gaze, in turn capturing his jaw. The coarse feeling against her skin telling her that he was in dire need of another shave. "Haven't you learned by now how sturdy build I am? You don't have to worry about me so much."

"Even if I keep telling myself that, I still do."

Sofia smiled at him, her chest filling with that great love which had but grown from the faraway years of the day they'd met, reminding her how happy he made her feel by only looking at her. Just like that, with those warm eyes full of tenderness and worry. That familiar expression always making Sofia remember that younger crusader who'd vowed his love for her. But just as she leant forward to exchange another and this time longer kiss with Balian, the usual quarreling of the children woke both of their attention.

"Mommy, Damien keeps eating the apples from my basket!" Kalilah shouted, angry, trying to yank the fruit back from his brother. Sofia separated from Balian as both of them turned to follow their tiff for a while until Sofia sighed. Stepping forward and took the apple from Damien, then giving them each a strict look.

"That's enough for today ", she said, then nodding at Kalilah. "Take the basket inside. We have enough apples to make ten pies."

As Kalilah left with excited gleam in her round eyes, Damien about to follow, Sofia then took notice of the soothe covering her lastborn. Lifting the boy up to examine him, then directing a judgmental tilt of a head toward Balian whose skin was all covered with the same smutch.

"A fleeting moment in his father's care, and look how dirty he is!" she breathed, Balian inclining his head in turn as hadn't actually realized this fact but now, Sofia then only sighing deeper. Nodding toward her own basket beside the tree trunk. "Fine...Take that to the kitchen when I give him a bath."

Sofia gave Balian one more smile until started to waddle toward the house, a hand in hand with Damien who soon enough ran off again after Darcy. Balian letting out amused breath as Sofia's voice radiating frustration told him to go straight inside to get cleaned up. Balian lifted the heavy basket, a couple of fruits falling onto the ground as he as well next made his way toward the house.

Yes. Everything was just the way he'd wished years back when he'd brought Sofia here. And there was nothing he would've changed, nor wanted to achieve to make their life anyway more perfect from what it was.

"Balian! Take Darcy and wash him! He's spreading mud everywhere!" Sofia shouted from inside, Balian stepping through the door and put down his burden, seeing the dog dash to sight around the corner Sofia right after him. The dog running toward the still open door, until Balian was quick to step into the way. Grabbing the animal who hated nothing more than baths, Sofia heaving out a tired breath as leant against the wall.

"Above all things I have to chase after a dog like one of my own children!" she exclaimed, huffing for the second time until met Balian's smiling face.

"Go rest for a while. I take care of the children."

Sofia was surprised, but then only nodded. Turning around and walked toward their bedroom, amusement however appearing in her voice.

"You should prepare dinner as well while at it."

Balian smiled after Sofia who vanished behind the bedroom door, him then sighing at the as soothed dog as he was, the animal giving him close to a begging look not to be washed. But Balian only stood then, grasping Damien who at the same moment ran past them, catching him before he could escape. Finally closing the door behind him with a loud creak.

Sofia made a face as the unpleasant creak of the hinges cut her ponders, causing her to accidentally slice her finger with the knife she used to prepare the ingredients for that day's meal. Her frowning when some of the food was ruined by blood, Balian moving his attention from their youngest daughter he'd been dressing after hearing Sofia's low wail. In a second he was by her side, giving the cut on her finger a brief frown himself until took a towel. Wrapping it around the bleeding wound.

"You alright?"

"Yes, it's but a small cut", Sofia reassured with a smile, then turning around to look at Kalilah who'd returned form milking the goats, carrying the bucket to her mother. Sofia smiled approvingly, but then saw her best dress to have by some miracle gotten dirty. Her releasing a new wail, pointing at the stains.

"For heaven's sake Kalilah, I told you to be careful with your clothes!" she said, sighing. "Today is Sunday, and you know that you have to look tidy for the Mass."

"I'm sorry, mommy. I tried, but the goats..." Kalilah tried to explain until Sofia simply waved her to be silent. She was too busy to give her daughter an earful of scolds.

"Never mind, just sit down and eat your food. Damien, that includes you!"

The two oldest were quick to take their places, Balian as well sitting down on his own chair while seating the third child in his lap. Having accustomed to feed their youngest in the mornings when Sofia was busy serving breakfast, now pouring them each a portion of steaming porridge in haste, until took a seat at the other side of the table as well. Extending her hands toward Kalilah and Damien for a grace.

"We have to hurry or we'll be late from church! The new Bishop will give us his first sermon, and we have to be there to hear it!" Sofia urged cheerfully after the quickly enjoyed breakfast, kneeling down to fix Damien's sloppy demeanor. Trying to tame his messy hair to look at least a little more presentable. That was one of the traits all three had inherited from Sofia. Thick and dark unruly hair. Damien looked sullen.

"I don't wanna! I want to play!" he argued, Sofia tilting her head at him.

"All the other kids are going too. You can go out and play with them after that", she said, smiling then and stood. Checking that Kalilah hadn't made her dress any dirtier until her examination shifted to Balian, her this time letting out a snicker as saw traces of porridge on his beard. Quickly wiping it away.

"Lyla wasn't hungry", Balian offered as an explanation, Sofia lifting her brows and nodding. But then after finding everything to be ready for them to leave, she snatched a scarf from one of the backrests, then shooing everyone out of the house. "Quickly now!"

The small family made their way toward the church. It was new, not but a couple of years old, and Balian had been part of the refurbishment as the late Bishop had wished some years back. But even the old Bishop himself had finally died about three weeks ago, his successor had been appointed to their village not but a week past. Today giving his first Mass in their fine church, which was much bigger than the previous one.

The only changes hadn't been the rebuilt church and the arrival of the new Bishop, but what had also changed during the past years was the owner of the lands this village belonged to. The previous Landlord, Godfrey's bother had as well deceased soon after Balian's departure to Jerusalem, his son at the time dead, leaving no one from their bloodline in charge to govern the lands. So very soon a new Lord was assigned to take over the estate, a young man of a rich and renowned family. Very vain and indifferent by nature, who Sofia had come to despise. It had been more than once when by the means of his station he'd tried to get his hands on her like many other young women of this village, but always Sofia had been rescued either by pregnancy or the protection of Balian. Not often she dared to wander about the castle grounds alone, and most of the time she was with Balian if she ever ventured to the other side of the village.

They arrived to the church yard, Darcy running past them, up the hill with the children. Bishop Archambauld standing by the door, bells chiming as a signal of the starting Mass, him greeting the entering people with a nod and a smile. But Darcy's barking and the loud clamor of Balian and Sofia's children now woke his attention, his eyes narrowing only slightly as he took in the form of the Saracen woman walking arm in arm with the village blacksmith. Telling the children to behave, when as well other townspeople gave the arriving couple poignant glances.

The Bishop smiled as they reached him, nodding to Balian. "Good morning Balian", he greeted, politely. "It's good to see you. How's business?"

Balian smiled, looking at Sofia. "Well enough. I earn just the requisite amount to provide for my wife and our children."

Sofia turned to look at the Bishop after a slight frown due to Balian's remark, seeing the clergyman's eyes to roam over her foreign features and darker skin. Instantly realizing the course of his mind as saw his reserved attention to be turned to Kalilah and her simblings who all shared similar features of a Saracen with Sofia. Proving that not only French blood flew through their veins. The Bishop looked frank when he then made a quite a sharp notion.

"Wife?" he questioned, lifting his jaw. "As the new Bishop it is my obligation to know all parishioners in my church, and what I've come to understand is that you Balian are a widow of four years. There is no record of you to have remarried."

Balian gasped, his brows wrinkling only little, but Sofia's soothing hand pressed against his palm. Her smiling friendly.

"My Lord Bishop, it's true Balian hasn't been able to marry me, as you might realize our circumstances to prevent the possibility of marriage", she spoke. "But the love we share makes us more than husband and wife. We don't need a record on paper to prove us spouses, as we've been devoted to each other these past years as faithfully as any married couple would."

Balian directed a proud smile toward Sofia, wrapping his arm around her. The Bishop instead seemed rather bemused by such impudent declaration, coming from the mouth of an infidel like her, no matter was she in any form of an union with a Christian or not. But it was true that he disapproved her words, then only lifting his eyebrows.

"Truly. Then forgive me, madam."

Sofia nodded, her then starting to climb the stairs with Balian. Their children following. But a bible hold up by the cloaked arm of the Bishop stopped Sofia on the first step, her turning to give the man a confused gaze.

"I'm sorry, but due to your circumstances I cannot allow you to step foot into our Lord's house", he said, now clearly degrading and stared at Sofia with tense eyes, beckoning to the tone of her skin, them eventually giving a brief glance at the children. "Same goes with them. They're not Christian, so they aren't permitted to take part in the Mass."

Sofia was so dumbfounded she couldn't answer, Damien, Kalilah and little Lyla looking at her as confused as she was. The old Bishop, who'd been kind and merciful from his heart, had always permitted Sofia to join the Mass with Balian. No matter of her origin, as Balian's companion she'd been welcomed as any of the villagers. Balian turned enraged.

"This is outrageous", he breathed. "She's my wife, and she's as qualified to attend as are our children."

"Perhaps, but your marriage has never been blessed by a clergymen such as myself", Bishop replied. "And as long as it remains so, I cannot allow the will of our God to be ridiculed by letting a Muslim pray in His name. "

"I believed such questions about God's will are expressed at Holy Land, not here", Sofia said then as tensely, her gaze not faltering as she stared at the Bishop. "And I remember a certain Christian King who wished to see both Christians and my people to live peacefully as one, regardless of the God they pray for guidance."

"We're in France madam. Such preposterous ideas aren't valid nor supported here. Not in my church", was the Bishop's harsh reply. This caused Balian to fume.

"What she says is true. You have no right to treat her this way, her mother was a Christian! As are our children, you cannot prevent them from entering!"

"I can and will. You however are welcome to take your place among your congregation, Balian, as long as you leave your family at home."

"Very well!" Sofia interrupted then, both of the men looking at her, Balian's ire turning into confusion. Sofia sighed, smiling apologetically.

"I do as you wish. But please... Let the children come in with their father. They've been raised as good Christians, and will become ideal servants of your God by time. I ask you to be merciful like your predecessor, my Lord Bishop."

The Bishop gauged at Sofia, finally nodding curtly, where Balian gave her a bewildered look when the woman turned to him smiling.

"Sofia, you have no reason to..." Balian started, but Sofia placed a finger over his lips. Still smiling.

"It's better this way. I see you at home."

"Mommy, don't go!" Lyla exclaimed, hugging her mother. "Let's go together, to the church!"

Sofia only smiled, handing her to Balian. "Just go with your father. Mommy goes home to bake some fresh bread for you three."

Balian sighed deep as watched Sofia turn around, walking back along the path toward their home, Darcy leaving the children and accompanying her. And Balian knew without a doubt that she wasn't alright, as the treatment she sometimes received in this village because of her background was sometimes hard to deal with. At least to Balian, whose heart turned once again heavy by pity he felt for the woman he loved more than anything. Was she seen as infidel in the eyes of everyone in this village, or not.


Sofia set the bread to cool on the windowsill, sighing. Closing her eyes, enjoying the fragrant spring breeze blowing inside. But soon those woken troubles returned in her mind, her letting out a despondent sigh, eventually placing a hand on her stomach. She was with child again.

She'd found out not so long ago, when she'd visited the village's midwife because of her cold, as she was well knowledgeable how to cure different illnesses too. But the woman had a sixth sense for detecting a pregnancy, and when she'd forced Sofia to lay down and soon announced her to be with child, it had more flabbergasted her than delighted her. Because of the current situation they were in, Sofia couldn't afford to be happy about a fourth child.

The money was scarce, so Balian had seen best to increase his workload, this way doing extremely long days. Sofia and the children hardly seeing him before he returned from the smithy at the dead of night when the little ones were sleeping, exhausted. Already gone the following mornings when Sofia woke up to prepare breakfast, him living like this day after another without a proper break, all for the sake of bringing enough food to the table. And as Sofia thought about this with a heavy heart as well, she felt somehow guilty to be carrying yet another mouth to feed, which was why she'd kept this a secret from Balian. Incoherently seeing the birth of a new child only as a burden placed upon Balian's shoulders, her having no heart to tell him even she should've. She knew that.

"Hello, anyone home?"

Sofia gasped, her soon seeing Lilian, Balian's former sister-in-law, step in. Wide smile on her lips, practically glowing like any expecting woman would, a basket of pastries on her arm. She was a wonderful person to still worry about her sister's late husband and his new family, both Lilian and her husband Christian being one of the closest friends they had. Sofia offered her a weak smile, where Lilian's was turned into confused frown.

"Is something the matter?" she asked. "You're a little pale, Sofia. Is your condition...?"

"I'm well, Lilian", Sofia hurried to say, brushing away her gloominess and beckoned toward the table. "But please, have a seat. I won't have you standing at the doorway."

The two women took a seat, Sofia's expression soon turning back to rueful as her eyes fell to stare at Lilian's stomach. She was close to give birth. What were the odds for both of them to be in such a state?

"Have you told him yet?" Lilian inquired after noticing the younger woman's stare, smile in her voice. But she frowned deeper due Sofia's curt headshake, her releasing a sigh. "But why? It would be delightful news for Balian to hear he's to become a father."

"I'm not sure am I ready to make him one yet again", Sofia responded, half to herself as her stare had moved to the window, her hand caressing her own mid torso. Lilian was nonplussed.

"What do you mean?"

Sofia clearly hesitated, the other woman seeing her to be wrestling with such deep worries that she couldn't imagine a cause for them. Until Sofia then spoke, shaking her head, her voice hopeless.

"Last months have been really hard. In fact ever since Lyla was born, we've been in a plight with both money and food... It takes a lot to raise three children, and like me also Balian knows this. I don't really know how to make the ends meet, when everything goes to that little food we can attain to survive. Which is why Balian's taken upon too much work, demanding too much of himself, and I... fear for his health Lilian. I know he only wants to provide for us, but... for me to become pregnant again and cause him more concern by giving birth another child... I don't know should I tell him or not."

Lilian watched Sofia's blue gaze fall into her lap, seeing her inner struggle, Lilian understanding her more than Sofia realized. As a mother of five children she knew it was hard to get by with the little earnings their men received from their business. She placed a comforting hand over Sofia's palm, squeezing it.

"What're you going to do? Are you saying you're going to hide your state from Balian?" she queried. Sofia looked at her pleadingly.

"I might have a way... But promise me not to tell your husband, or he'll tell Balian", Sofia begged her, leaning closer, however turning even sadder. Closing her eyes again as Lilian nodded.

"Of course I won't."

Sofia leant her head against her hand, the words she was about to say making her sick. Making her feel ashamed for such a thought to even cross her mind. "As anyone in this village, you know where I'm from... And it was at Holy Land where I was taught a couple of tricks, to help me in certain undesirable situations... I know a potion which shall... The pregnancy is in such an early stage that it can be done."

"No... Sofia you cannot mean..." Lilian breathed, half pitying the young mother and half horrified by her proposition as a devoted Christian. But as she met Sofia's gaze she knew she was actually considering such miserable option to ease their family's predicament, Lilian letting out a hopeless sigh herself. "It's your choice. Even I cannot believe you to be thinking such a way... I understand why you would. I know how hard it is sometimes to be a woman, a wife."

Sofia said nothing. Just released a long breath, then jolting when the door suddenly swung open. Inside running startled Kalilah, carrying Lyla in her arms. Both of the women gave them baffled looks as stood, Sofia walking to her eldest daughter a question in her eyes.

"Mommy, Damien's fighting! With Lucien!"

Sofia was surprised but ran instantly outside, Lilian right behind her. And now both of them witnessed the ruckus between two young boys taking place at the road, some other distressed parents and children arriving to the scene and trying to separate them. Sofia called her son's name, being with him in an instant and wrenched him away from the other boy, directing a very angry gaze into his eyes.

"What do you think you're doing?" she exclaimed, shaking the boy gently as the other participant of the quarrel was closed into the arms of his mother. All eyes turning to Sofia. Damien started to sob, Sofia hardly filtering the words coming from his mouth through the crying.

"... Lucien... called mommy with bad names..." he cried, surprising Sofia. "He said mommy is a bad person who is the enemy of Christians and goes to hell. He said mommy is a filthy Saracen who deserves to be killed, just like Kalilah. And Lyla too!"

"Is this true?" Sofia asked, shocked beyond description, turning to gaze at Lucien until her eyes rose to his mother. The woman giving her but a glare back.

"So what if he did? It's true after all!" she shouted, causing Sofia to gasp for fright as she stepped closer. Sofia retreating away from her with Damien, pushing him behind herself to be saved from the woman's verbal abuse. "You're infidel son attacked my Lucien without a reason, even he said but the truth! You and your children are all wicked, and this proves it! It was right for the Bishop to ban you from coming to church with your man, who's as bad as you by indulging into the gravest sin with a Saracen!"

"That's enough!" Sofia cut in, very upset and angry herself, giving the woman a bemused gaze. Glancing at the children around them. "Think about what you say before them."

"Oh, I will!" Lucille responded, mockingly. "I certainly will tell my children to stay far away from your bastards born out of wedlock, and make sure they won't have anything to do with them! Your children will burn in hell just like their mother!"

Damien started to shiver, hiding into Sofia's hem for the fright of the woman's angry voice. So pity taking over her Sofia was satisfied to only leave the scene, turning her back to the woman and the rest of the gathered crowd. Grasping both Damien and Kalilah's hands, pulling them in rapid pace back to the house. But she could do nothing to stop the children's honest confusion, Lyla who'd just recently learnt to speak looking up to her.

"Mommy, what is a filthy Saracen?"

Sofia held back a burst of misery as then met with Lilian's sympathizing eyes midway. The older woman telling the children to go play with her own, then taking stunned Sofia inside, seating her on the chair again. She was in a daze, shaking her head until her gaze rose back to Lilian.

"How could they say something so horrible? They... The children have done nothing to deserve such treatment!" she breathed.

"Never mind Lucille. She said too much, and knows it."

Sofia shook her head, frowning, tears starting to glimmer in her eyes, her eventually turning a little hysterical and starting to cry. "No. She knew exactly what she said, because it was something she'd wanted to say for a long time!" she cried out. "But I don't understand, how can a mother say something so... so dreadful about another child? Call him with such names, and yet alone to teach her own son to say the same things! Never mind that, why couldn't she leave our children out of her hatred, when her true scorn falls upon me and me alone?"

Lilian couldn't say anything, just followed Sofia to cry helplessly.

"How could I do it to Balian?" Sofia asked then, from herself. "Or to this child growing inside me? How could I be so cruel and bring this baby into the world, which just showed such evil and injustice to my other tree? No, Lilian, it's wrong. It's wrong what Balian and our children have to go through just because of me. I never thought about it before, but... by bringing me here and raising a family with an infidel like me without a possibility for marriage... how much resentment it must've brought him."

"Don't be silly!" Lilian argued. "You brought happiness back into his life! It was you who saved him from the melancholy my sister's death plunged him into, and it's you who made him the happiest I've ever seen him!"

Sofia released a teary breath, lifting her eyes to see Lilian smile encouragingly.

"If Balian hadn't gone to Holy Land and met you... I don't think he would've recovered from the heartbreak. He loved my sister, but he loves you tenfold, Sofia. And I'm sure he knew perfectly well what it meant to bring a Muslim back home with him as his wife. He didn't care the scorn possibly to come, because his love for you is strong enough to overcome even God's judgment in afterlife. So you shouldn't let Lucille's words get to you. All that matters is that Balian has chosen you as his companion, and that he loves you and your children. As it should be, and as it is."

Sofia sighed, smiling a little. But it was then when the door opened again, this time Balian walking in. Giving a little concerned look at Sofia, seeing her reddish eyes, him then looking at his late wife's sister in confusion.

"Lilian?"

"Good morning Balian", she greeted, giving him a remarkable look before stood from her seat. "I just brought you some pastries, and found your wife to be in need of company. But now I leave you to talk."

Sofia did her best to hide the traces of her worries from Balian after Lilian left. Standing, noticing the sweat and soothe which already covered the man. He'd already started that day's work.

"I heard shouts from the road... Is everything alright with Damien?" Balian asked, worried.

"He... had a fight with Lucien."

"Lucille's son? Why?"

Balian saw a shadow appear on Sofia's face, telling him that the woman had something rather difficult to say to him. But eventually she only sighed.

"Lucien... badmouthed me in front of Damien. Calling me and his sisters filthy Saracens, who'll burn in hell's fire. His mother used the term as well in front of him."

Balian's eyes widened. "What? He said that? Lucille called you in such way?"

"She didn't question his behavior at all. Just justified it by siding him, joining his insults with her own. Damien was only protecting me and his sisters."

"Either of them had no right to say such things about you, yet alone about the children!" Balian exclaimed, in rage, but then sighed. Calming himself as sat next to Sofia who'd fallen into the chair again. Taking her hand, examining her somewhat despondent demeanor. "Is that why you've been crying? Sofia, you must forget such insults. I know how hard it is, but we both know those things Lucille says aren't true."

"I know", Sofia replied, smiling weakly while looked up to him. "You always keep reminding me of how special I am."

Balian smiled, smoothing Sofia's cheek. "You are. You and our children."

Balian was then confused by the slight gasp his last spoken sentence caused in Sofia, her glancing down at her stomach briefly before Balian could detect her gaze. But still due to the expression Balian now saw on Sofia's face, he reckoned she was alright. Those worries lessened, her uneasiness eased. He kissed her cheek, standing.

"You're going to the smithy?" Sofia asked, watching how Balian took the bread from the window. Cutting a piece for himself with a smile, then about to leave.

"I have a busy day ahead."

"Balian, we need to talk", Sofia said, stopping him from walking outside of the house by putting a hand on his arm. Balian turning confused. "It's important."

"Wasn't the quarrel between Damien and Lucien dealt with?" he asked, Sofia shaking her head.

"Yes, but this isn't about Damien. Well, it is, but I have something to..."

Balian's smile made her voice cease, Sofia suddenly losing her courage, not being able to bring herself to say the words in her mind and only swallowed them as Balian came to her. Stealing away her chance to voice out her troubles.

"If it isn't about Damien, let's talk later", Balian said, Sofia opening her mouth to protest but nothing came out, Balian now leaning forward to give her another kiss. "I have an extensive order to finish, and must have it delivered to the castle today. But I promise, when I get back we'll talk. I love you."

So Sofia let him go, just like that. Being too big of a tenderfoot to stop him, her hand slipping apart from his as Balian left, Sofia sighing when she followed the door close behind him. What a coward she was.

Sofia couldn't calm herself. She was so uptight that whole day she kept on walking about the house restlessly, waiting for Balian to return. And finally the day turned into evening, Balian eventually coming home and finding Sofia from the kitchen. Sitting in the dark in her night gown, braiding her hair, set dinner table waiting for his arrival. And all of a sudden Balian realized how late it actually was, him giving the woman apologetic gaze as stepped into the room lit by only one candle.

"Forgive me. I made you stay up so late", he said, removing his boots, releasing a satisfied sigh as walked to the table. Sofia shook her head, her expression somehow peculiar.

"I couldn't have slept anyway."

Sofia had made some food for Balian, now serving it to him, just silently watching him eat for the next half an hour. But after observing Sofia's odd behavior wonder awoke in Balian, him abandoning his meal for a moment to give his loved one a questionable look.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?"

Sofia sighed deeply. Her eyes then moving to her stomach what else, her arms soon covering it after a moment of hesitating when she looked at Balian. Serious now.

"I'm with child, Balian."

The spoon in Balian's hand fell back into the bowl, him staring at Sofia dumbfounded for a while, until for Sofia's torment his eyes were brightened with greatest joy. Him smiling blissfully and pulling his chair beside Sofia's, her following him with her gaze hopeless. Balian's expected mirth hurting her, even she should've been as elated. Balian grasped her hands, gauging at her, his warm eyes stopping on her abdomen as well. Next giving Sofia the gentlest smile, Sofia frowning in secret when she received a kiss from him.

"That's wonderful. How far is it?"

"According to Myra I'm on my second month", Sofia revealed. "When I went to her house last week, she did an examination on me and told me I was pregnant."

"Why didn't you tell me then?" baffled Balian questioned. "Why you've kept it a secret?"

Sofia couldn't bear to meet Balian's gaze, in the end taking his hands in turn. Gathering her courage to say what she had to say. "Because I'm not sure am I ready to have another child. Not in this situation."

"Situation?" Balian repeated, suddenly flustered, not understanding Sofia's everything but happy bearing. "What do you mean Sofia? We're going to have a child, what could make you hesitate so? These are delightful news you've given me."

"No, Balian", Sofia cut in, sad. "I didn't tell you, because I wasn't sure should I."

Balian frowned. "Why?"

"Because I knew how happy you'd be", Sofia stated. "As well as how miserable this makes me, this pregnancy. Balian... we cannot go through with this."

Balian leant away a little for surprise, not comprehending anything Sofia was saying. He shook his head. "Of course we are!"

"No, Balian. I told you about the baby only because as a father you deserve to know, but we must be rational about this. We cannot keep this child."

"Of course we can!" Balian breathed, him then making a somewhat horrifying realization. "We have to Sofia. How exactly could we prevent this from happening when you're already..."

Sofia gave Balian a miserable look as saw him freeze, actual anger now appearing in his eyes as he understood the course of her mind. Not agreeing, Balian squinting.

"No. Whatever you're thinking, I won't let you to do it", Balian said, tensely, now standing. "Killing our child would be a murder, nothing rational about it!"

"Balian, please!" Sofia breathed in turn, watching him stride to the window. She was lost. How could she ever make him understand?

"I want to keep this child as much as you do. But we have to think the benefit of the baby."

"Is that what you're doing?" Balian asked, turning to look at Sofia with disbelief. "Proposing that I'll allow you to get rid of my child?"

There was pain on Sofia's face, Balian saw it as she now sank deeper into her chair. Not far from crying, which made his quickly flared ire to sooth. Him gazing at the woman more gently now, trying to understand her when Sofia spoke.

"It's hard with three children alone. What would a fourth one do, when we're already struggling so much to feed them? Balian, we cannot afford to have another child. You give your all by working yourself close to exhaustion for our sake, but I cannot watch you to kill yourself with work, were I to give birth and make you responsible of yet another family member!"

The first fit passed, Sofia silencing for a moment, looking away from Balian who turned. Pity replacing the anger as he eyed at Sofia's woeful form. Slowly he made his way back, sitting down, as Sofia started to speak again. Her voice shaky.

"I wouldn't bear to see this child treated like Kalilah, Damien and Lyla", she stated, meeting Balian's eyes as he did take her hands again. Smoothing them for comfort as witnessed the worry Sofia had harbored alone, turning very upset. "The way people talk about them just because they're my children... Children of a Saracen... It's wrong. I don't care what they say about me, but they're innocent children Balian! They shouldn't be forced to face such iniquity! How am I supposed to respond when they ask about the names they're called with, even by other children? I'm incapable enough of protecting them from the insular treatment of the villagers. Don't ask me to watch yet another child of mine to be denounced because of their mother. I can't do it... or see you shunned because of the bastards born out of wedlock I keep bringing to this world."

Balian frowned sadly, watching Sofia's head hung for desperation, her hand securely placed upon the unborn child.

"Have you been worrying about such things?"

Sofia didn't have to reply. But Balian then sighed, kneeling before her. "You don't have to worry about that", he said, serious. "Let me take care of money problems. That isn't something you should think about, and when it comes to your troubles about what happened today... No Christian woman fully accepted by this community would make me any happier. I love you and our children, and nothing anyone in this village says would make me feel otherwise."

Sofia looked at him, Balian now smiling. "You don't have to be afraid, Sofia. I'll take care of you, and make sure we can manage to support ourselves and our newborn. Nothing is going to happen to you, or any of our children. I make sure of that."

"How couldn't I worry?" Sofia asked. "While you fill your days with hard labor, I remain here doing nothing to ease our distress! Every day I fear we ran out of food or money..." Sofia kept a break. "I've been thinking on working as well. To collect some money for food, so that you could cut your workload."

"You don't have to", Balian contested. "Let me deal with the money. Don't worry about a thing, just focus on the baby."

Sofia shook her head in objection, them exchanging a long look, till she sighed. Making a meek nod, Balian smiling wider.

"Is there something else that worries you?"

"Yes", Sofia agreed, as well smiling now. "If you keep staying at the smithy all days long... at this rate you may not see the birth of your youngest."

They shared a smile, warm one, Balian examining Sofia until pulled her to her feet. Kissing her, soon giving her a keen look deep into eyes.

"Where are the children?"

"With Lilian. She took them in to give us time alone."

"Good."

Sofia was surprised as Balian now swept her off her feet, in but a couple of seconds carrying her into the bedroom. And by a single exchanged look that all familiar sexual tension was quickly triggered when passion took over and caused their blood rush hot in their veins. Sofia laying down onto the bed after exchanging a tender gaze with Balian. Having him soon on top of her, kissing her, where Balian's adoring hands habitually started to fondle her body. Pulling her other leg against his pelvis before it hooked behind his lower back, Sofia's hands sliding to pull away his shirt while she received a tingling kiss on her neck.

"Be gentle with me", she whispered, a little amused, their eyes meeting.

"Even in that state you make it challenging."

In a long time they hadn't had the chance to express their attachment to one another, making love but chastely under the sheets behind locked doors, being as quiet as possible for the children not to hear them. But now alone, no one in the house besides them, they were free to express their feelings. Just loving one another, their affection which always smouldered deep within them repressed, now blazing by their devotion to each other. Only deepening it with each touch, until the night passed and they were laying in each other's arms. On the border of falling asleep, Balian drowsily stroking Sofia's stomach, until both were lulled into most pleasant dreams.

Sofia gasped awake. Breaking free from the dream by blinking her eyes fully open, only to notice Balian to be still in bed by her side. His arms circled around her, now half awoken by Sofia's shifting body which sat up from his embrace. Sofia letting out a small groan due to her aching back, her hand habitually resting upon her huge grown stomach as she placed her feet on the floor. Her skin going goosebumps as she felt the coldness of it, looking out. There was frost in the window, pale sunlight of the approaching sunrise piercing the frozen glass. It was hardly the time to wake up.

"What is it? The baby?" very sleepy voice of Balian's asked, Sofia turning to give him a headshake.

"No. I just woke from a restless dream", she replied, smiling as Balian made a curt nod. Then yawning and turning his side, Sofia soon hearing the low snore of his as he fell back asleep. He was tired. That's probably why he hadn't already gone to work, and Sofia was only grateful that he'd decided to sleep in. He'd worked too hard these past months, as she had feared.

The click of the bedroom door woke her from her reverie, Kalilah running inside. The loud creak of the hinges causing Sofia to make a slight face as the girl jumped to the bed. Her voice too noisy.

"Mommy, Lyla is awake and she's hungry!" she informed her mother, smiling brightly. "And you promised to braid my hair today!"

"Shh, *kalilah, be quiet!" Sofia hushed, pushing the girl to her feet as stood up stiffly too. The weight of her abdomen causing her to feel a new ache in her back, Sofia sighing, until took a gown from a nearby chair. Shooing Kalilah out of the room, her voice but a whisper when Balian seemed to have fallen deep in sleep again.

"Very well then! Go to the kitchen and prepare your sister some food when I change!"

Some hours later the whole family was awake and enjoying breakfast together, except for Sofia and the two girls who'd been awake since sunrise, Sofia now brushing her oldest daughter's locks. Soon starting to braid the long curls after taming them, her skillful fingers working fast.

"Mommy's hair is so beautiful!" Kalilah remarked. "I will grow mine and it will be even longer!"

"I wouldn't be so sure. I decided to grow it more by each child God would give me, and who knows how many siblings you three will yet have", Sofia answered, amused, smiling as glanced at her over waist long locks till continued with Kalilah's own. Her frowning.

"Mommy's or daddy's God?"

"Both, honey. Now, stay still so that I can finish."

After finishing with Kalilah's hair and dressing the children, Sofia prepared to leave outside as well. Balian giving her a worried look as watched her toddle about the kitchen in search of her outerwear, until was ready. Taking a basket filled with children's clothes she'd sown for the other women of the village who'd recently had children. She had kept her head and tried to help Balian with the little income her business brought, and Balian had allowed it. On the condition that whatever she wanted to do would not risk her health in any way, which was why he now seriously considered was it wise to let Sofia go outside to deliver the clothes in her state. She was but two or three weeks away from childbirth, and it was very dangerous outside for a woman in her state. Not to mention that this pregnancy was different from the previous ones in that that Sofia was much bigger, her balance on the icy roads therefore poor. Balian walked back to her, giving her a remarkable look into eyes.

"I think you should stay inside", he urged. "It's very slippery outside, and I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Nonsense", Sofia replied smiling, only giving him carefree smile and a smooch on his cheek. Passing him as went to the door in turn, letting the bitter breeze inside. "I'll be alright if just walk slowly. And I'll have Kalilah with me."

Balian turned to look at his oldest child with somewhat relieved sigh as the girl smiled, putting Lyla down and hurried to Sofia. Taking her offered hand.

"I take care of mommy, daddy! Don't worry!"

Balian lifted an incredulous eyebrow. "It's no fair to use her against me."

Sofia smiled at him amused, Balian then giving in and putting on his own coat, them then stepping outside with the children. Balian bending down to kiss Sofia quickly, as Damien ran to play in the thin snow with his little sister. Sofia's heart filling with warmth enough to chase away the slightest traces of cold, as she met Balian's gaze. Him now stepping down from the porch with one more smile.

"Be careful. See you at dinner."

"Don't tire yourself!"

As their intention, Sofia and Kalilah made their small round in the village. The rather mordant snowfall blowing against their faces as they visited the houses where mothers had ordered the clothes from Sofia, Kalilah collecting the payment when she wasn't sent to take a package or two to a house a little farther away. And in this fashion they made their slow way about until only last house was left to visit, Sofia releasing a relieved sigh as she climbed up the frozen hill. Being extremely careful not to slip and fall. It indeed was very dangerous to walk.

It was only early November, but already the weather was very harsh and reminded of late winter more, though not that much snow had yet fallen. But as it indeed was so cold, Sofia had made sure to dress an extra layer on Kalilah and herself to stay warm. In that she hadn't stinted a penny.

"Go see is Janelle at home", Sofia said to Kalilah. And nodding the girl did what she asked, soon Sofia hearing her voice shout out to her as the woman in question now stepped outside. Young Janelle sending her a shy smile from the door, Sofia returning it as finally reached them herself. Letting out a strained sigh, but then straightened. Taking out the clothes, handing them to delighted Janelle.

"As promised. Two shirts and three pairs of pants."

"You're a lifesaver!" Janelle commended. "I have no skill with a needle, so you truly saved me a lot of trouble, even it must've been a great favor to ask when you're about to become a mother yourself!"

"It was my pleasure."

Janelle took out a pouch of money, starting to count the agreed sum. Not much, but enough for Sofia to get a reward from her work.

"Here you are. But I really think this to be too little..." Janelle said, but Sofia only shook her head. In turn accepting the coins with gratitude.

"This is more than enough. Thank you very much, you're the saving angel."

"Janelle!"

Janelle jolted as her husband's voice suddenly called her, both of the young women turning to look inside until the man in question strode outside. His face wearing a tense expression when with only a couple of steps he was with Sofia, grabbing her wrist. Squeezing so hard that the money fell on the ground, Sofia returning the man's hard stare only sonfused. He looked at her in deep disdain.

"You're not taking any money from us Saracen", Matthew sneered, releasing Sofia with a slight shove. Sofia frowned as Janelle tried to restrain her husband.

"Matthew, let it go. I asked Sofia to make the clothes and she deserves to..."

"This woman doesn't deserve anything from us or anyone else!" Matthew spat, shaking off Janelle's calming hand. Though amazed Sofia now only met Matthew's enraged eyes calmly, his scorn not fazing her.

"Matthew, please..." Janelle tried, tint of fear in her voice but she only gasped as Matthew directed a slight scowl at her.

"Go inside and let me deal with this!"

"You don't have to talk to your wife like that!" Sofia cut in, serious as Matthew's head whipped toward her. The man frowning for anger as Sofia then sighed, about to lift the money from the ground. "I'll leave. I wish not to cause any harm."

Janelle sent apologetic gaze at Sofia. But now both women flinched when Matthew kicked the ground, preventing Sofia from grasping the coins and pushed her away. With such force that Sofia staggered once, with Kalilah's help managing to stay on her feet when Matthew's ire filled glare drilled into her. He pointed at her.

"I told you not to have a single coin from us!" he shouted, now other people gathering from the nearby houses to witness the foul out. "An infidel like you should just leave! You are a disgrace, and will never be welcomed as one of us!"

Sofia was once again baffled, hurt, her hardly managing to remain proud as then started to hear some agreeable mumble around her. Her directing glances to her sides, seeing how a couple of other villagers as well eyed at her poignantly. Concurring with Matthew, and encouraged by this he now stepped closer.

"You should go back to where you came from, and take your bastards with you!" he hollered, Kalilah's hand fisting around Sofia's dress as her mother just stood stunned. Humiliated. "You're not welcome here! No one in this village wants you, no matter if one of our own has seen fit to take you as his bed warmer! You're but a filthy Saracen, and we don't want the likes of you to defile our faith! Only thing you deserve is a quick death by the sword of an orthodox!"

"Don't talk about my mother like that!" Kalilah shouted then, her angry voice waking Sofia from her shock and she turned to her daughter. Her heart however skipping a startled beat as witnessed Kalilah to be first spat at and next hit by Matthew. The girl falling on the ground, Sofia's eyes widening until she looked at the man in hatred. Furious herself.

"Don't you dare to touch her!" she exclaimed, stepping forth, about to deliver a smack of her own at the man. But her hand stopped midair, Sofia turning scared as she saw the way Matthew's anger flared, him now hitting her right across the face as well. Very hard, the people releasing surprised murmur as they watched Sofia to turn around due to the force of the hit. Her legs slipping, loosing her footing and for her greatest horror falling onto her stomach. Hitting her head on the icy ground, letting out a moan as fought against the fainting sensation. Her dizzy mind barely registering the hands which shook her shoulder, her slowly lifting her bleeding head, her hazy eyes adjusting to the light again after the momentary blackness. Her moaning again, lifting herself up a little as looked at Kalilah. Smiling, extending her arm to wipe away the tears which had suddenly appeared in her eyes.

"Are you alright sweety?"

"Yes. But mommy's not."

Short confusion took over Sofia. But just as her gaze then followed Kalilah's frightened eyes to look at her lower torso, to register the blood which now was drenching her hem, Sofia felt pain. Great pain which pierced her stomach, so great that it caused her to squeeze her eyes shut. The horrifying realization she arrived at the same terrible moment making her cry herself, her sobs coming out as wails of pain when her arms first clutched her stomach. In denial, the pain increasing by each second with the blood which kept running. Small puddle of it starting to color the ice below her, as Sofia's heart was filled with only terror. The sudden fear squeezing her chest as she collapsed, unable to move. The pain was too great, her only being able to stay still. Moaning, crying.

"That's what you get. Our God had punished you for your sins."

Sofia lifted her gaze to stare at Matthew, full of disbelief, until new twinge of demanding pain caused her to convulse. Sofia trying to sit up, hardly succeeding. Kalilah's hands grabbed her again, her scared voice starting to speak as Sofia felt her shook her frantically. Calling her mother.

"Please. Help me!" Sofia begged then, someone, anyone nearby who heard her. Looking around in panic herself. "Please. My child... I need help please!"

"Mommy!" Kalilah called, frightened, crying as Sofia released a heavy breath. Trying to get up, not finding strength needed. Fear and the pain stealing her ability to move, her then looking at Kalilah when no help came. Sofia put a hand on her cheek until it fell to grab her abdomen again due to another wave of travail.

"Go get your father", Sofia told her, shoving her daughter gently until fell back down moaning. New tears falling, Kalilah just sitting.

"No, I don't want to leave you mommy!"

"Just go, and find your father! Now, Kalilah..."

Kalilah jolted as Sofia's sentence was cut by the greatest moan yet. But then a new voice spoke, a familiar man arriving to the scene.

"What's going on here?"

Kalilah started to cry helpless as Christian stepped through the crowd, his eyes widening for horror as he instantly saw Sofia and all the blood covering her. No one needing to tell him what had happened as immediately he strode to the young woman, lifting her from the ground as looked at Kalilah into eyes. Death serious.

"Get Balian. Tell him to get home now!"

Kalilah did what she was told. Running straight to the smithy, not taking long before Balian raced down the hill to the house. Just as Christian was carrying Sofia inside, however coming to a curt stop due to the sight of overwrought Balian. Balian freezing as he too now saw Sofia's frightening torment, the blood which had drenched her clothes and which was dripping red onto the white snow. Causing his heart to stop beating for dread. Sofia's cries of pain tearing his soul, the way she gripped her stomach causing him to frown incredulous. But it was again Christian's determined voice which put things in motion.

"Take the children to Lilian and go get Myra. Now, Balian, or both of them will die!"

Balian made a rigid nod, about to leave. But one teary gaze of agony from Sofia made him halt, him now sharing a compassionate look with her and grasping her extended hand momentarily until Christian took her inside. Balian not wasting any more time but dashed forward, to get the village's midwife before it would be too late.


*kalilah = sweetheart in Arabic