A/N: Hey... random people I don't know! Your benevolent overlord- oops, sorry... force of habit. Your benevolent Author here-

Random person: You aren't an author, damn it, this is your first-

A/N: *smacks with frozen turkey* SCILENCE, UN-NAMED BACKGROUND CHARACTER!

Random person: My name is Kevin...

A/N: YOUR NAME IS "WRITTEN OUT OF THE STORY"!

WRITTEN OUT OF THE STORY: Wait... what?

A/N: *start's writing writings of doom in his plot-device journal*

WRITTEN OUT OF THE STORY: Hey... what are you writing?

A/N: *finishes writing my evil writings* Oh... nothing *Nonchalant whistling*

WRITTEN OUT OF THE STORY: Wha-

Crazy Escaped Murderer Jr. The 4th... twice removed: IM A CRAZY MURDERER THAT JUST ESCAPED FROM JAIL! SQWIBBILY FLABBIDY DOO! *Shoots WRITTEN OUT OF THE STORY*

WRITTEN OUT OF THE STORY: *dies*

Crazy Escaped Murderer Jr. The 4th... twice removed: BHUDDAH HAS A GHOST PENIS LIVING IN YOUR PANCAKES! TEE HEE! *explodes*

A/N: Dat's right, ya don't fuck with the author, bitch!

Red: Are you done yet? I wanna start the story already!

Black: Yeah, what are you doing, making my darling Reddy wait!

A/N: I'LL BE READY WHEN I'M READY, DAMNIT!

Red: Fine, take your time, I'll just find something better to do in the meantime *seductively looks over at Black*

Black: *blushes*

A/N: Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, you both know I'm saving the juicy fan service-sauce for later. And, if you two keep instigating this activity, then I'll go soap-opera on you're ass and make 50 different plot points, just to put off the ever enticing lemon-zest!

Red:...I'll be quiet

Black: Same

A/N: Me no owny Pokemanz, nor teh characters relating to it (I do own the characters, WRITTEN OUT OF THE STORY and Crazy Escaped Murderer Jr. the 4th... twice removed, even if they are dead). Sorry if Black, White, or any other 5th gen characters seem OOC, but they haven't appeared yet, so I guess they have to be. Oh, and, if you haven't gathered this info yet, this is YAOI, BOYXBOY, If such subject matter offends you... THOU SHALT NOT PASS! This chapter only eludes to the boy x boy tastiness to come (brownie points for puns XP), yet these chapters will contain HEAVY language, again, if certain subject matter offends you... go suck a whore cock, pussy, its just vulgarity! BE A FUCKING MAN, DAMN IT!

Red's POV:

Ah! Today's the day! The day of the new Battle Frontier in Isshu! Me is many much moist with anticipation!

Oh, and by the way, my name's Red, the very first Pokedex holder, and the champion of the Kanto Elite Four. Serve's dem bastards right for keeping me prisoner for almost all of season two!

I'm currently with my team on Mt. Silver, where I have been training for almost a year now. My pokemon have gotten a lot stronger of these past months, and I am ready to showcase them in this new challenge. I have even gotten some of my other pokemon besides my regular team some training, just in case I need to swap them out at some point.

Well, better tell the good news to my pokemon...

"Go! Pika, Saur, Poli, Aero, Lax, Vui!"

"Pika? (What is it this time, Red?)"

"Guy's... I have a big announcement"

"Aero! (ya finally coming out of the closet, fruity?)"

"SAUR! (c'mon, show Red some respect, I'm sure he has something very important to say)"

"Fella's... we're going on a road trip!

"PIKA! (OH FUCK YES! ROAD TRIP, BABY!)"

"POLI! (Ooooooh yes! This will be most excellent, dudes)"

"Espi! (Mmhm, most excellent indeed!)"


Normal POV:

We join our Kanto Dex holders in a train-station, waiting for a train, to take them to the plane, that will fly them to Isshu.

"Aah crap, where is he?" Green was so lost in thought that he didn't realize he was talking out loud

"You seem awfully concerned, Green." Yellow added

"Hmmm... Me thinks he's got a little "bow chicka bow wow" for Red, if ya know what I mean." Blue nudges Yellow.

"Yeah, definitely..." Yellow added, sounding confused.

"You have no idea what I mean, do you?"

"Not even a little"

Just then, Red enters the train station.

"Hey guys, I'm not too late am I?"

"RED!" Yellow and Blue yell in unison, Glomping Red down to the ground.

"ACK! HELP ME, GREEN, THEY IS ATTACKING MEH!" Red shouted.

"Ehwehwah, wha?" Green stuttered, breaking from his deep trance. "Oh, Red, finally"

Red finally break's free of Yellow and Blue's "Glomp of doom"

"Yeah, hey Green, what's up- wait... don't you have that whole... gym... leader thing to do back in Viridian?"

"Oh, don't worry, I have a back-up leader set up."


MEANWHILE, AT VIRIDIAN GYM...

Mewtwo walks into the gym, to the Leader's podium, where a note is attached:

~Mewtwo

Gone to Isshu, you're in charge, don't touch my Funyons

~Green

P.S: I'm serious... don't touch THE FUCKING FUNYONS!

"...*sigh* Damn it..."


MEANWHILE, AT THE TRAIN STATION...

"Well, the train's coming in a few minutes, me and Yellow are gonna go freshen up" Blue Announced

"Why?" Asked Red "We're only going on the train, why 'freshen up' now?"

"I don't need to explain anything to you!"

"Fine, go" And like that, they were gone.

...

"So... Red... Do ya think you're gonna meet anyone at the Battle Frontier?"

"I dunno, I'm not really attracted to any of the other Dex Holders."

"But you were attracted to me? Oh, I'm so flattered that you find me THAT sexy, Red."

"Eh, get over yourself already, that was over 2 years ago that I asked you out."

"Well, you still did, and I have kept your dirty little secret for all this time... Ahhh... Memories..."

"Yeah, I don't think I'll be finding my 'special someone' this time around."

"Don't go counting Lady Luck out yet, she works in mysterious ways."

"...Like making me gay and putting me around a big gaggle of strait people. Those is some very mysterious ways, I better call Sherlock Holmes on this one, my good fellow"

"C'mon dude, don't be so negative, we're heading to a new region! I'm sure that there are at least a few gay people there."

"Dude, the fact that I got under 4kid's gay-dar is a miracle!"

"4kids doesn't even have any control over this! We're manga based!

"I dunno, I just feel like they're after me, you've heard what they did to Satoshi!"

"Dude, c'mon, you are WAY paranoid about this 'evil dubbing company' crap!"

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after me."

*ding dong* "The 5:00 train to The Trans-Region Airport will be departing in five minutes."

Almost on cue, Blue and Yellow exit the bathroom, and make their way over to Green and Red

The most notable change is that Blue is in her original black dress, heels, and gloves. Green got the official 'i just saw a hot chick in an anime' nose-bleed. "Hopefully she doesn't ask why I'm not oggling her, that'd be REALLY awkward" Red thought.

"How do I look?" Blue asked in a seductive tone.

"Like a cheap French whore" Red answered sarcastically

"French? I was going for Itlaian."

"Oooh! Red! What do you think I look like?" Yellow asked excitedly

"You're looking quite cute yourself, Yellow."

"Oooooh! Thank you Red!" Yellow responded, overjoyed at the compliment. "Hugz!" She then latched on to Red, and hugged him with the force of 1000 suns.

"Yell...ow...you...re...choking...me" Red was gasping for air, turning near Purple from lack of air.

"Heh, that's what she said." Green took no trouble turning this situation dirty.

"SHADDUP!" Blue smacked Green with her giant, novelty mallet.

"Oh, the pain!" Green collapsed on the ground in a heap Scrunched up in a ball... of pain

*DING DONG!* "The train is leaving in one minute! Move your asses!"

"What the hell! How did four minutes pass so quickly?" Red exclaimed, grabbing all of his stuff and running to the train, the others following not-to-far behind

"Well, we gotta get there FAST, if that back there was 4 minutes, I can only imagine one minute!" Green was panting, but still running strong.

*DING MOTHER-FUCKING DONG!* "30 SECONDS! YOU HAVE 30 SECONDS! MOVE! VELOCHE! RAPIDO! MANY MUCH QUICKLYNESS!"

"OOOOH CRAP, WE AREN'T GONNA MAKE IT!"

The gang finally reached the train's doors, and got in just in time (A/N: How convenient *3*)

"Alright, now we just need to deal with this 7 hour train-ride... and THEN a 10 hour plane ride to Isshu..." Red announced... only upon announcing it, realizing how depressing the information really was.


After about 2 hours on the train, they got to the first stop, and man, were they on EDGE!

"I can't take this anymore!" Blue preached "Screw this, I'm riding Articuno to this bitch!" Blue prepared her pokeball and walked out of the train, the gang soon followed.

"Wait, you brought Articuno?" Green asked

"And Zapdos and Moltres as well" Blue reassured

And, just then, Red got an idea...

"Blue, how fast are those birds?"

"Pretty damn fast... why?"

So, Red, Green, Yellow, and Blue ditch the Train, and begin flying strait to Isshu on the Legendary birds (Since there weren't enough, Red's on Aero)

"This. Is. AWESOME!" Yellow was sure getting a kick out of riding on Zapdos, as opposed to her Butterfree.

"Don't get too excited, Yellow, even though we passed the train a while back, it's still gonna be a while before we get there" Green stated bluntly.

"How long?"

"Well, we ARE moving much faster than the train, but I doubt these things can out-speed a 747, so I would say... about 9 hours."

"Awwwww..."

After about an hour of flying, Red starts to feel like there is something behind him. He looks back, and see's a large mass of purple energy heading straight for them.

"Hey guy's I looks like there's a... Purple Super Saiyan heading this way..." Red stated, but as he finished talking, the energy shot past him, and stopped right in front of the birds, making them stop. Once the energy around the being dispersed, the thing following them was...

"Mewtwo?" Green asked, confused. "What the hell, man? I left the gym with you!"

"Don't worry, Green, I sent in some professionals to do the job."


MEANWHILE, AT VIRIDIAN GYM...

~Dear Individuals 1& 2

Green want's you to look after the gym while he's at the Battle Frontier. The Funyons are you're reward for agreeing to stay here for who-knows how long

~Mewtwo

"..."

"...what a dick"

"Oh well, at least we can drown our fury with funyons!"

"Hooray for funyons!"


MEANWHILE, IN THE SKY...

"So, you guys are flying to Isshu right now?"

"Yupperz!" Yellow happily replied

"Y'know, I could just teleport us there, save you guys some time."

The look of pure astonishment over all of their faces was PRICELESS.

"Well, what are we doing sitting around here for? LETS GO DAMNIT!" Red demanded.

"Very well." And with that, Mewtwo teleported everyone out of sight.


A/N: And THAT is the first chapter. As you can guess, this will focus mostly on the Kanto Dex holders. Everyone will eventually make their mark in the story… If I feel like it (o3o)

Red: What the hell was that piece of crap? I need to wait a whole 'nother chapter to meet my sweet Black?

Black: This is an outrage! RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Kraken: BWOOGALAGLOOGALA! *Grabs me*

A/N: JESUS CHRIST! NUUUUUUU!

Black: See ya guys next chapter!

Red: If he ever recover's from the kraken attack

Kraken: PTOOWEE! *spits me back up*

A/N: *shudders* I saw parts of a Kraken, that no man should ever see...

Red: 0.o

Black: Hey! Don't go giving my darling Reddy such horrible mental images. I should pop you in the mouth for such blasphemy!

A/N: Shaddup, you are the one that sicked your pet kraken on me!

Black: The funny thing is, that isn't even a kraken, it's the love child of a tentacruel and a skunktank!

Kraken(?): BWOOGLAMESH! (KILL ME!)

A/N: Again, I don't own Pokemon, the characters, a train, a train station, or Green's Funyons.

Mewtwo: *Eating Funyons* Wha? Who's?

Green: DEM'S AINT YO FUNYONS, DEM'S GREEN'S FUNYONS!

Mewtwo: STAY BACK! I HAVE A COMICALLY OVERSIZED SPOON, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!

A/N: Please R&R! No flames! All flames will be donated to starving orphans, so unless you want to see a pack of orphans eating a bag of fire, NO FLAMES!