A.N.: So, I just recently got into the Corpse Party fandom. This fandom probably took the remains of my heart that were left after Assassin's Creed Revelations, stomped on the shreds, grinded them into dust and then burned the dust in the flames. But it's okay, it's not like I need a heart to live.

Back to happier (or sad still) topics, I've seen how everybody and their mother ships Ayushiki in this fandom. And I'm happy to join the club of Ayushiki shippers. I haven't done many fanfics recently, especially because of my final exams. After that, I had some time, and suddenly started working on three Ayushiki ones. Still a little bit too shy to submit them.

Anyways, I got my nerves together to post them now, so enjoy the fic. Obviously I don't own the characters, because if I did they would've gotten a happier ending.


Passage

1. Night-Time Visit

Ayumi sobbed and covered her ears with her hands.

It's been a week since the four of them returned from Heavenly Host Elementary's sealed off dimensions. Four of their classmates and their teacher died there, and their existence was completely erased from everyone but survivors' memories. Ever since they returned, Ayumi didn't cry or mourn. She often saw Satoshi and Naomi distance themselves from the rest of the class, lean on each other and mourn their lost friends in silence. Ayumi in the meantime pretended like nothing happened.

It's not that she wasn't sad about their deaths, no. She was sure Satoshi and Naomi thought her heartless, but she didn't even care anymore. It's not that she didn't want to mourn their deaths. She didn't allow herself to.

She still felt too much guilt. If she hadn't discovered that charm… if she hadn't made everyone do it… they never would have died. She had no right to mourn and move on, like Satoshi and Naomi eventually will. Their deaths would haunt her for the rest of her life, and she had to shoulder it by herself. She had to remember it forever, so she'd never make the same mistake again.

However at night, it was different. At night it all came back crashing down on her. She didn't even tell her sister Hinoe that she was constantly hearing a voice and footsteps walking around her room. Ever since she returned she had to sleep with her face buried into the pillow, because she didn't dare look up, to see who it was.

Then again she didn't really have to. She knew him very well.

He returned to her tonight as well. His light footsteps echoed from the walls, occasionally stopping here and there. He was always walking in circles, as if he was lost. Ayumi just wanted to cry. She knew he had no idea about what happened, and she simply didn't have the courage to face him and tell him the truth.

"Shinozaki? Shinozaki where are you?"

Ayumi sobbed again. How could she tell him that he was dead because of her? She loved horror stories, sure. But she was horrified of real ghosts and their wrath. She didn't want to face him. She was afraid of what he might do. If she tells him, he'll hate her. He'll haunt her forever. It's not that she didn't deserve it. She'd hate her too, if she was in his place, especially after how she treated him when he was still alive. She was afraid of him to death.

"Shinozaki, please… please, it hurts… I'm scared… I don't know where I am… just answer me, please…"

Ayumi sobbed again. She was being selfish again. She never thought about how he felt. She had no right to deny him a passage because she was too afraid to face him. He was here, because she was the only one who could help. He wasn't the only one either. She could often feel the wind of Shinohara rushing past her towards Naomi. She barely dared to set foot into drama club's room too. She often heard Suzumoto and Morishige's silent whispers in the corner, as if they were merely making plans for another play. Every time during homeroom she had to avert her eyes from Matsudo-sensei, so she didn't have to see the misty figure of Yui-sensei standing by him and looking at him with confused eyes, as if asking why he was standing in the place where she used to stand, telling her beloved students the things she used to tell them.

"Shinozaki… please, help me…"

His voice cracked, as if he was about to cry. She was still shaking in her bed, with her face buried into her pillow.

'I can't, I'm so sorry…'

Then he started to sob. That really broke her heart. She had never heard him cry before. Even as a ghost, he hasn't done so ever since he appeared. Usually she was the one always sobbing and crying, always dragging him down. He must be so scared right now. She took a deep breath to calm down. It was her responsibility. It was up to her to help him. He did so much for her in Heavenly Host, even to the point of risking his life for her.

And losing it.

It was only fair she returns the favour, the only way she can.

She rubbed her eyes and stood up with a determined expression on her face, even though her heart was still pounding against her chest. She didn't know what to expect. Will he be angry with her when she tells him? She imagined so. Who wouldn't be?

"Shinozaki…"

She once again took a deep breath. There was a cloud of mist swirling around in her room. Whenever it moved, she heard a silent footstep. It had no particular shape just yet, but Ayumi knew very well who it was.

"Kishinuma-kun?"

The light-blue transparent cloud finally stopped on the spot and started swirling around. For a second she could make out a figure of a boy with his face buried in his hands, crying. He still didn't know what happened to him. Ayumi was suddenly struck with a wave of despair. She felt tears she knew weren't her own running down her cheeks. She wished she didn't have to feel every emotion the spirits felt. He was scared out of his mind, and he was all alone.

"Kishinuma-kun!"

He finally lifted his gaze to look at her, but something was still wrong. It was as if he was looking right through her.

"Shinozaki? Shinozaki is that you? I can't see a thing, and it hurts so much! What's happening to me?"

Tears were still running down his cheeks. Ayumi had to grit her teeth. Now the pain was starting to kick in, the way he felt it. It burned. It was so hot. It felt as if her skin was melting off her body. She winced, but she didn't allow herself to scream. For one thing she didn't want to wake Hinoe up. But most of all, she had no right to scream and cry out in pain, knowing that this pain was what he felt at the moment of his death.

"Kishinuma-kun, can you hear me?"

He started to look around. He was searching for the source of the voice. It pained Ayumi to see him so scared and confused. That's what happened to the souls who were caught in between. He wasn't fully present in the real world, but he couldn't move on either. If he couldn't find the path by himself, then she needed to show him the door. She had to give him a way to get into contact with her, if that was what he wanted.

"Kishinuma-kun, I'm right here…"

"Shinozaki, I… I still can't see… it still hurts… everything is so blurred, please, help me!"

His apparition was still not completely clear. He still wasn't with her. She took a deep breath. The only way left to show him the way was by physical contact. She grabbed his hand with both of her own. She couldn't feel her hands actually holding it. She couldn't actually grasp it. But she could feel the cold. All she could do was to pretend her hands were holding his, and hope he would sense his skin making a contact with hers somehow.

"Shinozaki…"

His eyes finally focused on hers. Ayumi slowly exhaled. He should be able to see her now. His image became much clearer. He was still confused as to where he was though, which came as no surprise. He never actually was over at her place.

"Are you with me now, Kishinuma-kun?"

"Y…yeah…"

He calmed down a bit. Ayumi was happy to see that he at least wasn't in pain anymore.

"H…hey, I still… don't know what this place is…. Where are we, Shinozaki?"

Ayumi was still rubbing her eyes to wipe away the tears, but she had to chuckle a little. Typical Kishinuma.

He frowned a little.

"What's so funny, Shinozaki?"

"You're in my room."

"Your room?"

He looked around him. It certainly seemed like what he expected Ayumi Shinozaki's room to be like. There was a package of candles on her desk, and she had quite a lot of occult books stored neatly on her bookshelf. There was a girly feel to the room as well though, as she also had small plush toys set up on her shelves and bed.

"I've never seen your room before… I didn't know you liked this kind of stuff, considering your obsession with the occult…"

Ayumi blushed.

"Sh… shut up!"

She was known as the horror class rep of the Kisaragi High. If the word ever got out that she still liked cute plush toys, no one would ever be able to take her horror stories seriously anymore.

She sighed. Not that the word ever could get out though… the only person in her class who got to see her room was gone. As the thought crossed her mind tears slipped down her cheeks again.

"Speaking of which…"

She looked up again.

"…How did I even get into your room, Shinozaki?"

Ayumi sobbed. She had to tell him, didn't she. Yoshiki started to panic.

"U… um… I'm sorry Shinozaki, I didn't want to make you cry, really, I just…"

"Kishinuma-kun… You aren't with me anymore…"

He stared at her for a while. Then he suddenly gasped.

"Oh god, did I leave you all alone by yourself? Did I stop hanging out with you and hurt your feelings or something? Did I say something mean to you?"

If he were still alive, she'd find the way he panicked quite comical. He was always so worried about her, and she wanted to slap her past self in the face for never noticing how sweet he was to her. Now she just found it heart-breaking. He was dead. He was dead, and even in afterlife he was still worrying about her so much. She buried her face in her hands and cried harder. Kishinuma was just standing in front of her, feeling lost and unsure of what to do.

"Uuuh… Shinozaki, I'm so sorry, I keep making you cry… um… is it best if I just go, or…"

She kept sobbing, but she finally managed to say it through tears.

"It's… it's nothing like that, Kishinuma-kun, you… you aren't here anymore… you died…"

"Huh?"

For a short while he was just standing there as the truth hit him, and Ayumi kept silently sobbing. He wasn't sure how to react. Then he let out a panicked chuckle.

"I… I died? But… that can't be true, can it? We… we were just together in Heavenly Host, weren't we? We managed to get out somehow, right? Probably Yuki just brought us back again and…"

Even as he said that, tears still started to stream down his cheeks again. Ayumi just turned her back on him, collapsed on her bed and cried her heart out into her pillow. This really was too much for her to handle.

"H…hey, Shinozaki, what's wrong, come on… you have to stop crying, you're really scaring me…"

She could feel him sit down by her feet. He awkwardly tried to pat her head like he used to. She could feel his hand on her hair. She missed him awkwardly patting her head like that, but it just wasn't the same anymore. His hand didn't radiate the warmth of a living being anymore, and she missed that warmth the most.

"Huh?"

Ayumi just cried harder.

"H… hey, Shinozaki… my… my hand is going straight through you, stop joking around, please…"

She wanted to hug him and cry in his lap. She had selfishly done it many times before in Heavenly Host, but now he just wasn't there for her to do so anymore. And it was all her fault.

"Kishinuma-kun, I'm so sorry, but you're dead!"

He didn't respond this time. He was just looking at her, still very scared and confused, as if she was the one who was clueless as to what was going on.

"You saved me from that anatomical model, remember? You tried to charge at it, and… and you couldn't save me… you were bleeding really badly, and I told you to just leave me behind, but you wouldn't… you set the anatomical model on fire, and… and you saved me, but… then it latched on to you from behind, and… Kishinuma-kun, you burned to death, right in front of me!"

She kept sobbing into her pillow. She couldn't possibly tell him the rest. She couldn't possibly tell him how she just kicked his charred body off her in panic after his burnt up remains collapsed on top of her. She couldn't tell him, how she pried the science lab key he picked up earlier from his dead hands, scurried to her feet and ran out of the science lab, leaving his dead body behind without a second thought. How she didn't even feel how the hot metal key she was holding burnt her hands, because her only thought back then was that she wanted to live.

He remained quiet. She slightly turned her head to peer at him through her tears. His empty eyes were just staring into the distance. He was starting to accept the fact that he was gone. She sobbed again.

He's going to turn into one of those malevolent spirits, isn't he? She could feel the air around him charging with static. It often happened, just before all the emotions pent up in one's soul were about to be released. She deserved whatever punishment may come. She was the reason he was dead, after all.

But his soul didn't colour a bright red. Instead he just ran his hand through his already messy blond hair, just like he used to whenever he was nervous. Ayumi still remembered this gesture of his so well.

"God… how am I going to explain this to Miki? She'll be devastated…"

Ayumi's breath hitched in her throat as she sobbed again.

"She… she doesn't remember you, Kishinuma-kun. She doesn't even know she ever had a brother, your entire existence was completely erased from reality… no one but those who survived know you ever lived…"

She buried her face in her hands again.

"I'm so sorry, Kishinuma-kun, this is all my fault, I... I just wanted for us to always stay friends… I never thought this would happen… if I knew how, I'd make it right again, and…"

"Shinozaki… You're still alive, aren't you?"

"Huh?"

She looked up to see his face again. To her surprise, he was smiling. He didn't seem angry with her in the slightest. His eyes felt warm, and his spirit was still glowing with a soft blue light.

"Are you still alive and well?"

She sobbed again.

"Y…yes. Yes, I'm still alive. I've been better before in my life, but I'm still alive."

"Good. That's all I wanted to hear. Promise me you won't do anything stupid, okay?"

She was the reason he died, and this was all he cared about? How could he forgive her all she did so easily? Why would he, when she was always so cold and careless to him? She didn't deserve to be forgiven just like that.

"Why? Why aren't you angry with me? I'm the reason you died, so why do you still not hate me?"

He just smiled and tried to wipe the tears still streaming down her cheek with his thumb. His hand once again just passed right through her, and she shivered at the sudden cold. He gave another nervous chuckle.

"Sorry… I forgot… no touch, I guess…"

She sobbed.

"You still didn't answer my question…"

"Well, that's because…"

He gave her one of those smiles he only ever let her see. She had to try really hard to keep herself from bursting into tears again.

"That's because you're Shinozaki Ayumi. You're the girl I loved. There is no way in hell I'd ever want to hurt Shinozaki Ayumi. There's no way in hell I could hate her and no way I'd ever want to see her cry. So please, Shinozaki, just… wipe away your tears. It really hurts to see you cry like that over someone like me."

She just buried her face back into her pillow and kept crying her heart out. He was just making everything worse.

'You stupid idiot, it'd make everything so much easier if you just hated me…'

"C…come on, Shinozaki, please, just… just stop crying, okay?"

"I'm… I'm so sorry, Kishinuma-kun…"

He just watched her with his sad eyes. She was really hurting him, crying so much, after he wanted to see her happy.

"I wish you weren't dead, Kishinuma-kun… I wish you were still here with me… and it's just so much worse, because I didn't know how I felt back then… I told you I hated you, I told you I hated you so many times, over and over, but that wasn't true at all… In truth, I really liked you… I liked that you were always there for me. I liked how you always let me lean on you when I cried… I liked to see you do your best for me, even though I've never shown you that I appreciate it… honestly, I didn't hate you at all, I hated the fact that I was having feelings for you and that I wasn't able to tell you… I just hated myself, because I felt like I wasn't loyal to my crush on Mochida by having feelings for you… and I'm so sorry that my coming to terms with what I felt for you came way too late…"

Yoshiki wasn't exactly sure how to respond. The love of his life just confessed that she felt the same way about him now, when it was already too late for both of them. What could he possibly say to that?

"Hey, Kishinuma-kun?"

Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Will you kiss me?"

"W… what?"

"Please, Kishinuma-kun?"

Even though he was nothing but a ghost Ayumi could notice that he still blushed. It was clearly visible since the skin on his cheeks turned a lot less transparent.

"W… what are you saying… I'm still just a ghost, after all… y…you really shouldn't waste your first kiss on a ghost, you know? A… and besides, you told me once that ghosts feel really cold… Don't I feel cold? I bet this kind of first kiss will suck ass…"

"I don't care if it's cold. And it won't suck… and stop cursing just for once, please!"

Yoshiki scratched the back of his head. He really wasn't sure what Ayumi was thinking right now. She was always so rational, and this just wasn't like her.

"A…anyway, can you just kiss me? I want to be kissed at least once… by Kishinuma-kun. Please?"

"I… um… I'd gladly kiss you if I were still alive, you know, but…"

"Please?"

Yoshiki sighed. This was Ayumi after all. There was no way he could begrudge her anything, even if it was a wish this absurd.

"O…okay then, if you really want to I will. It's not that I don't want to, but… Honestly, it's my first kiss too, you know… I'm kinda nervous…"

Ayumi gave him her most disbelieving look.

"I… I'm serious! Don't look at me like that!"

She had to giggle. She never knew Kishinuma could be teased like that.

"Okay, okay…"

"So… um, how exactly do we do this?"

Ayumi smiled.

"I'll let you figure that out on your own."

His apparition was still blushing like crazy. Then he finally gathered enough courage, closed his eyes and leaned closer to her. Ayumi closed her eyes as well. At first their lips just gently brushed against each other. It was a very shy first kiss. She could tell they came into contact though, because she suddenly felt something cold touch her lips. They tried again, and this time it was more like a real kiss. It wasn't bad at all. It felt similar to drinking icy cold water with ice cubes in the summer. Despite her first kiss being cold as ice she could still tell that Kishinuma was a good kisser.

Maybe she could've had all this, if she wasn't so oblivious to his feelings. Maybe she would've known what his kisses were like, when they aren't icy cold. And maybe they could've been happy together.

If only she hadn't been so obsessed with Mochida back then.

A couple of minutes later they moved apart. Ayumi felt a bit cold, and she could tell that she was silently crying. Kishinuma started to panic a bit again.

"Are you cold? I'm so sorry, I knew we shouldn't have done this… or is it that my kissing was that bad?"

Ayumi rubbed her eyes to wipe away her tears.

"Don't be stupid, Kishinuma-kun… your kiss was great…"

"W… was it? I'm glad…"

She could tell he really was relieved about it.

"I just wish I wasn't so stupid when you were still alive. I wish I could still have a chance of being kissed by you like that…"

He sighed.

"I'm really really sorry, Shinozaki."

"No… don't be. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, for being so very dense and not seeing your feelings when they were so obvious… I'm sorry for always insulting you and bossing you around… and I'm sorry for hurting you when I constantly tried to compare you to Mochida… I guess they were right, when they said that you'll finally realise what you had only the moment when you lose it."

"Yeah… I guess they were…"

For a while they were both just sitting on her bed, and watching the night sky through Ayumi's window. After about half an hour of sitting like that in silence Ayumi finally whispered.

"Hey, Kishinuma-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"There's… something I need to do tomorrow at school. Would you mind sticking around a little longer and helping me out a little, just like you used to?"

He smiled.

"Ofcourse I'll help you out. I can't say no to Ayumi after all…"

"Thanks, Ki… Yoshiki. It means a lot to me."

"It's best for you to get some sleep then, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I guess it is."

He watched Ayumi lay down and pull the sheets all the way up to her nose. She fell asleep almost instantly, with a smile on her face. She hasn't smiled like this in a while. He didn't really need any sleep. But he still lied down next to her and pressed another kiss to her cheek.

He loved her smiling face best, after all.


A.N.: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this (and yes, after a long while this will be a multi-chapter story). Reviews and feedback are appreciated, they inspire me to write more.

See you soon with chapter two.

Jody14