Darry's Days of Worry

Day 1

My eyes sweep over Pony. His legs are longer, his muscles bigger, his hair lighter and his intense stare stronger. As I look at him I can't help but worry. I worry at how fast he's growing up and how soon he won't need me. He'll be off to college in three weeks, away from me and into the unknown. His college enrolment papers arrived last week. He'd picked the envelope up of the coffee table with his brow furrowed.

"Hey, I never get mail" he'd smiled slightly, his signature crooked smile, the one that always makes my heart squeeze in sadness as it looks so much like Mum's. He ripped the envelope open, tearing the letter out. His eyes scanned down the piece of paper before bulging out of their sockets.

"Pone?" I had asked confused, I gently took the letter from him and read it. The college had accepted him and from his stunned expression I could tell he hadn't expected it all. But why hadn't he expected it? Why doesn't he realise how clever and smart he is, all he ever seems to do is underestimate himself. It hurt to think he had written out the application form with half a heart full of hope. I was proud, although I'd known from the start he would be accepted, I had full confidence in him, I just wish I knew a way to tell him this.

17 years old, nearly 18 then he'll be an adult and out of my custody into a world of freedom.

How will I protect him then?

Day 2

Pony staggers into the kitchen his hair messy and fluffy. Gone are the days when he and Sodapop used to use half a bottle of grease every morning. He bumps into counter whilst rubbing his eyes and winces.

I watch from my place at the kitchen table, unsure whether to say something to him or not. It's unusual for me to feel so much emotion, or to have emotion and not know what to do with it. I want to tell him so many things before it's too late and he's away enjoying life on his own, without me to boss him about but any time I try to put what I'm feeling into words it all sounds wrong.

He glances over at me and smiles, oblivious to my internal battle, "Morning, Dar"

I sip my coffee then return the greeting, managing a small smile. He can probably tell I've been acting weird lately, a bit awkward, a bit quieter and more thoughtful. It's almost like we've switched places. I feel all tensed and know I won't be able to relax until I get out what I want to say to him. With a glance at the clock I gather my things up then leave for work, calling a goodbye over my shoulder.

"Have a good day!" he yells back happily.

I climb in my truck and start the usual drive to work. It's times like these that I wish I had a off button for my thoughts, they go into overdrive as I sit and worry. I worry about when he'll be living in the college dorms, away from us with no one to take care of him. He's smart and clever but still so unaware of the bad that surrounds him and the world. His innocent youthful eyes can only ever see the good in people, which is a gifted thing but I worry that someone will take advantage of this and lead him astray, lead him away from me.

Day 3

Pony fills out the enrolment papers to confirm he'll be attending college, he seals the envelope shut and bounces around the room excitedly. His eyes are alive, greener than grass and he's the happiest I've seen him in a long time. He jokes with Two-Bit and Steve when they come over to celebrate with us, I watch him confidently yet not cockily mouth of back to Steve. They're good now, Pony and Steve that is. I don't think anything specific happened to make them so civil towards one another, I think they just grew up and realised it was less hassle to get on rather than fight. He's not the shy fourteen year old boy he once used to be that's for sure, if his long legs aren't enough to prove it his quick and witty comebacks seal the deal.

As I silently watch him from the doorway I worry he'll forget about me when he makes something of himself, goes to a better bigger place than Tulsa, when he meets amazing new friendly people who haven't grown up with the rivalry of Soc and greaser and are unaware of what a bad effect the separation of poor and rich had. Deep down I know he won't forget, my thoughts only being a surface worry. Pony'd never leave us behind, physically or mentally.

Pony's wide emerald eyes turn to me, sparkling slightly as he starts to walk over to me. He draws closer and I realise he looks embarrassed.

"Dar, I just wanted to say...Thanks... Thanks for everything" he finally mumbles his pale cheeks turning a slight shade of peach. It's unexpected but I can tell Pony's been wanting to get it of his chest for awhile. I wish I could follow suit and tell him everything I've wanted to these past days.

My chest tightens and a lump forms in my throat, one I furiously swallow away. Unable to speak in fear of breaking down into sobs I instead engulf him in a huge hug. It's not my usual way of handling things but the nearer it gets to him leaving the more I feel like a parent letting go of their child and all I've wanted to do is hug him and spend time with him lately. I inhale his sweet natural Ponyboy scent and try and engrave this moment into my memory because soon he'll be too far away for a hug and only a phone call will allow me to hear from my brother. Over his head I see Sodapop grinning proudly at us, we've came along way and it hurts to think of the times we fought, constantly knocking heads over the silliest of things. And it's when he's in my arms that I ask myself, how could you possibly worry, Dar? He's here for just now, safe in your household.

Day 4

Oh but I can worry. Hell, there's lot's to worry about.

I come back from work in a good mood, something that doesn't happen very often. I'm met with a unconscious Ponyboy curled up on the couch, a blanket lain over him and a basin, half-full of sick sat beside him.

Two-bit, Steve and Sodapop are all sat around the kitchen table, each face as serious as the next. It looks like I've interrupted Soda mid-rant and I can only wonder what on earth has got him so riled up.

"What's wrong?" I ask sternly, wanting an answer and wanting it quick. Soda crosses his arms angrily then juts his chin towards Two-bit, "Ask him"

Bewildered and confused I turn my glare to Two-bit. Two-bit suddenly looks very nervous, a sight I'm not used to seeing at all. He slowly raises his hands, palms facing forward.

"I'm sorry, Dar, I bought Pone a few drinks down at Rick's" he eventually manages. "I didn't mean for him to get sick or anything"

If it isn't bad enough he illegally bought Ponyboy drinks and got him drunk enough to pass out and vomit then the fact he took him to Rick's, a bar worse than Buck's, is the cherry on top.

I feel my temper rise, bubbling slowly on the verge of exploding just like a volcano.

"A few drinks? A few drinks?" my voice bellows, dangerous and daring. Soda glances worriedly at Pony through the kitchen doorway, making sure he's not awoke. "How many is a 'few'?"

Two-bit sighs heavily, "Three or four" he rushes out in one breath, looking away from my intense stare. Finally the volcano erupts. I curse up a storm, one that Dally would even be shocked by, I lecture Two-bit's ear off, yelling that he's supposed to be setting a good example. And then in one last huff of fury I order him out the house. He looks regretfully at Pony, probably wishing he could turn back time and change the events then leaves the house silently. Surprisingly Pony stays asleep through it all. Steve soon makes a hasty escape too, feeling uncomfortable.

Soda doesn't say a word the whole time. He turns to the stove and starts cooking up dinner wordlessly. I sit myself in the armchair across from Pony and run my eyes over his sleeping peaceful face. He looks so young, why is it people look younger when they're asleep? All I know that is today my worries were confirmed, Pony is too easily led, he puts too much trust in others. I'm not really that angry at Two-bit, he's a buddy and I knew he didn't mean any harm, even if in the end that's what he caused. What about at college though? There'll be no Soda and me to stand up for Pony then.

Day 5

Pony gets up early and grabs his car keys of the table. He pops the cap of on the bottle of aspirin and dry swallows four, I make no comment, still keeping my space from Pony as I struggle to tell my youngest brother my fears and worries of him leaving. Today he's buying stationary for college. He's excited, the days are drawing in closer until he leaves and it's a big and scary step for all of us.

I offer him money but he refuses kindly. He's saved up for the occasion and I don't take it personally. I understand the excitement and pleasure of spending your own hard earned money, I've just not experienced that feeling in awhile. Soda and Two-bit join him on his little errand, Soda because he has nothing better to do and Two-bit because I have a sneaking suspicion he's trying to start to set a good example for Pony, his only way of showing how sorry he is to me. I watch them drive of then make my way to my own car, starting the engine then roaring out the neighbourhood. I envy them as I drive to work, a hard and boring day ahead of me. Although Soda does deserve this day off to relax after all the extra shifts he's been pulling.

The rain starts to come down in small trickles before the heavens really open up. The rain lashes down hard, battering of the roof of my truck and bouncing of the road and sidewalk. I curse angrily as the guy on the radio clarifies it's to rain most of the day, not letting up until late tonight. There'll be no roofing happening today, that's for sure but there are plenty other jobs on the work site like carpet fitting and tile laying to keep me busy. I arrive at the site and start straight away. I work hard throughout the day, happy to be in the warmth of the house as I catch glimpses of the stormy weather outside.

I have ten minutes before I get off, the clock reading 7:50pm. I haul a pile of tiles from the newly constructed porch up into the toilet when I hear a shout.

"Darrel Curtis" a voice hollers from downstairs. I rush down the stairs and am met with the site manger, my boss for the next three weeks as we finish up the house. "That's me" I reply breathlessly, wondering what he's wanting from me.

"There's someone on the phone for you, they said it's urgent" he drawls. Instantly I think of my brothers and my stomach clenches, "Follow me" he says and I do. He leads me out to the static set up outside the house, shows me the phone then leaves to give me some privacy.

"Hello?"

"Darry it's me" Steve's voice sounds strange, strangled and on the verge of hysteria, not at all like the composed and collected person he usually is. Worry sets into my gut and I'm afraid to ask the next question.

"What's happened?" because I know that something has happened, and if Steve's the one calling then all signs point to my brothers being the eye of the problem.

"They got in car wreck coming home – Pony, Soda and Two-bit. I'm at Tulsa State Hospital, please hurry" he pleads the last bit, obviously wanting company in the stressful situation he's alone in right now. I promise to be there in ten, even though the hospital's twenty minutes away. We hang up then I bolt for my truck. Seeing my boss I yell over my shoulder that I'll call him later.

I worry if my brothers are okay. God, please be okay.

So hey there! I'm going to post five days of the story at a time, just because most of the days aren't long enough to be a chapter in themselves. Please review, I've already got the next five days typed up so I'll post them if y'all like this

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