Note: I don't own American Idol, Adam Lambert, or Kris Allen. I am merely a fangirl writing about her fangirlish fantasies.

Also, this is rated M for the mention of Sex and other somewhat sexual things, but It doesn't really go into detail. Basically, It's rated M to be safe.

Now, read!


He knew that this wouldn't last.

He knew that all of this was just temporary, and that, in less than a month, it would all be over; and yet…

He didn't care.

At this moment, this fleetingly, wonderful moment, nothing else mattered. Not the fact that someone could walk in on them at any moment, or that his 14kt gold wedding band had slipped off of his finger in the 'heat' of the moment; nothing was more important than the man on top of him.

Adam Lambert was simply too infatuating, and Kris Allen was just too much of an exhibitionist to stop any of it.

It was truly stimulating, doing such wonderful, beautiful, dirty things with his bunk-mate. It brought about a feeling of excitement and passion the likes of which Kris had never experienced with any of his previous lovers- including his wife. There was just something so…invigorating about having sex with a man. It felt so good to not have to be in charge of everything, but rather to just have to 'go with the flow' of things.

And then there was Adam; gorgeous, sexy, thrilling Adam. Out of all of the millions of people in the world, not one could compare to him; not in Kris' eyes. Adam just had this…aura about him; this undeniable, friendly, 'I don't care what the hell you think about me' attitude that just made you want to get into his pants- or get him into yours.

Adam was, truly, a unique individual; and Kris loved that about him.

There was many a time when Kris wished that his wife could have the same qualities as Adam. Despite how infatuated he was with the Glambert, sometimes, when he had to stop and seriously think about things, he still felt as though he was betraying his wife.

Though obviously, of course, he was betraying his wife; in almost every way physically possible, actually.

It's not that Kris hadn't realized this and come to accept it as fact, but that didn't stop the small feeling in the deepest pit of his stomach telling him that he shouldn't be getting sexually, let alone romantically, involved with Adam.

Not that these thoughts ever halted his activities with the rocker; in fact, it actually made him want Adam's body even more.

Kris wanted to feel that touch; the touch only Adam could give him, more than ever when he started feeling guilty. When he was with Adam, it was as if nothing were wrong, because nothing was ever wrong when it came to actually being with him. It was after they were together, after they made love, when Katy called him in the middle of the night, complaining about how much she missed him, or how she wished she were in his arms at that moment, that the guilt and anguish came crashing down on him.

The truth of the matter was that Kris just didn't love Katy romantically.

That was it.

He only dated, and married, her because he had wanted to receive love and attention; whether it was from someone he truly loved, or just someone he liked as a friend. Back when he was in High School, when he first met Katy, she was the only person that actually gave him the time of day, in that respect. So, he took the chance and asked her out, and it eventually led up to their current marital bond.

Not that he was actually really…interested in her, per say. Having grown up in the Country, Kris was always told by his elders that Homosexuality was a sin against God, and that anyone who participated in the acts of Homosexuality was doomed to an afterlife in hell.

He knew, however, that these lies were just a load of propaganda being said by idiots who happened to think that they had the authority to condemn others, when even God Itself stated that only It had the power to do so.

Kris also knew, for a fact, that he was attracted to men, and he always had been. But, beings that he was in a rather conservative state, and that all of the people that he knew hated Homosexuals, Kris knew that he would never be able to find a partner.

So, he settled for Katy.

Yes, he knew that it was wrong, and that she would probably just end up getting hurt in the long run, but no man can go without some sort of sexual relationship forever; because after a while, masturbation just got boring.

And even though he didn't love her romantically, he truly did care about Katy; but more as a sister than a lover. That, of course, isn't too much better, because brothers and sisters aren't 'supposed' to have sexual and/or romantic relations with each other, but yah know, sometimes things just happen.

Kris thought everything had been going great; he had someone that cared about him (whether he cared about her in the same way or not), he was able to relieve his sexual tensions, and his parents were happy about his marriage. It seemed all fine-and-dandy, right?

But then Kris' brother made him try out for Idol, and he made it. Then he was lucky enough to somehow make it to Hollywood week, and that's when things started changing.

Kris had first met Adam when they both made it into the Top 36, and were then put into the same group together. At that moment, when Kris first really laid his eyes on Adam, he knew that there was something different about him. Being Gay himself, Kris had what every other Gay person in the world had; a Gaydar, and with this Gaydar he was able to pick up on the fact that Adam was, as suspected, Gay.

Along with this obvious fact, Kris could also tell that Adam was just…different. He was special, and Kris wanted to get to know him. He started off by just observing him, watching him intently while he was singing, listening to his sweet voice until it stuck in his head; simple things that, for the most part, went unnoticed.

After a series of various events, it had ended up that both he, and Adam, had made it into the Top 10, which granted them access to the Idol Mansion. Lucky for Kris, Adam just so happened to be his assigned room-mate for the remainder of their stay; and yes, he had been more than overjoyed to discover this.

After making their way to their new room, they had immediately unpacked their belongings, and, while doing so, ended up getting into a rather deep conversation. Adam ended up telling Kris about his life story, and vice-versa. It had all just seemed so…natural to them; almost like they had known each other for all their lives. Most people would say that they grew too close too quickly, but neither Kris nor Adam thought anything weird of it. And within the first week of living with Adam, Kris was able to admit to himself that he had a crush on him.

The next few weeks had brought them even closer, and by the time the Top 3 celebrations came around, Kris was completely, undeniably infatuated with Adam. His victory parade back home had been and uneventful occasion, and during the time he had only wanted to return to his Idol 'home' as soon as possible.

Then the night of the Final Two announcements had come, and it had been announced that both he and Adam would be in the Finals. That night, amidst all of the drinking and after result, Final Two partying, he had revealed his inner feelings for Adam; and Adam had admitted his feelings for him.

Things happened, words were spoken, and Kris happily lost his anal virginity.

The finale had come and went, Kris had won, Adam finally came out, and they fucked; it was as simple as that.

Katy didn't know, the other idols didn't know; It was a deep, dark secret between the two men, and they both wanted it to stay that way.

They came up with reasoning's as to why Kris had wanted to stay with Adam during the weeks before the tour, kept the paparazzi at bay by setting up a 'relationship' between Adam and some guy they happened to meet while shopping; they had covered their tracks expertly.

Even while on the tour bus, they managed to hide their relationship from everyone else.

They jerked each other off silently in the middle of the night, made love during breaks in the back-rooms of the performance stages, kissed while no one was looking; even had phone sex while watching the other idols rehearse their sets.

And sometimes, on nights such as the current one, something special happened. Sometimes, on nights like tonight, the rest of the idols and their handlers went off bar-hopping.

Kris and Adam always stayed behind when the others went out. They're excuses ranged from Adam not wanting to be tempted by other men while in a 'relationship' with his current 'boyfriend', and Kris not liking to drink- which had been a total lie- to them both stating that they were too tired and just wanted to sleep.

And by the time the others came back to the bus, they always were asleep; for reasons other than what they suspected though, of course.

On these nights, their love for one another was the only thing that mattered. Whether or not someone found out about their actions meant nothing amidst the heat and passion. Everything else could wait until morning came around; his rocker came first, and vice versa.


I kind of got lost between present and past time in the middle somewhere, like I always do.

Stupid Dyslexia...

Well, I hope you kind of liked it, at least.

Oh, and referring to the part when it's talking about Kris and his family/friends' Homophobia, the reason why I referred to God as an 'It' rather than a 'He' stems from the fact that I don't believe in a God with a gender. I was trying to offend anyone or anything (though if you're reading Kradam slash right now, I doubt that you're the type of person to care one way or the other anyway) but I just wanted to clear up any misunderstanding that there might be.

Oh, and sorry for the major OOC-ness on Kris' part. It just seemed to fit with my story line...

...Well, that's about it.

So, uh...Tootles!

^O^

Oh, yeah, I wanted to mention that I'm thinking of continuing on with this and actually adding some dialog and real action/angst into the continuation, but I'm not a hundred percent sure if I want to or not. So therefore, I put it as complete for the moment, but any suggestions would be more than welcome!

I love you all!

+Zanna