Hey readers of South Park! Welcome to my one-shot story that I've had completed…for a really long time to be honest. *blushes* Anyways, I am posting this as my first story with my brand new birthday laptop! Yes, my birthday is today :)

Anyways, I wanted to post a Kyman story as my first thing on this laptop. So here we go.

Disclaimer: I do not/ nor will I ever own South Park. If I did, there would be Kyman in every episode.


"Cartman?" Kyle's voice calls from upstairs. "Can you come here for a minute?"

Cartman groans but gets off the couch and begins walking up to his room. He enters to see his boyfriend sitting on the bed, glaring at him. "What's wrong, Kahl?" Cartman asks nervously. Last time Kyle looked at him like that, Cartman had been stuck in a jail cell for public disruption charges, and the ending result had been Cartman being forced to volunteer at a soup kitchen so Kyle would speak to him again.

"I was putting away the laundry, to help out your mom, and I found something interesting." Kyle says slowly, his eyes narrowing dangerously with each word.

"Oh? And what would that be?" Cartman asked innocently. Kyle reached under a pillow and pulled out a series of pamphlets and brochures. "Uh-oh," Cartman muttered.

"'Uh-oh' is right," Kyle stated. "Eric, tell me why I found these in your sock drawer."

"Because you were snooping through my stuff?" Cartman asked.

Kyle growled and stood from the bed, walking towards Cartman in the same manner that a cat would walk towards a mouse: slow, dangerous, and deadly. "Why do you have them?" Kyle asked.

"Umm…I plead the fifth." Cartman replied as he backed away slowly from the pissed off ginger.

Kyle was behind him in an instant, shutting and locking the door, successfully trapping Cartman. "I'm afraid that in this room, your constitutional rights don't work." The ginger hissed, as he tossed the papers to the floor. "Now I'll ask again, why do you have these?"

Slightly more nervous, Cartman backed his way to the other side of the room, putting the bed between him and his boyfriend. "I wanted to consider my options," he said guiltily.

Kyle laughed quietly to himself. "Options? Oh, you mean the options between life and death?" He asked sarcastically.

"Kahl, it's not a big deal," Cartman pleaded. "I only wanted to think about it."

Kyle's face began growing redder than his curls. "What is there to think about?" he demanded.

"Kahl, listen to me, going into the army could help me get into a good college." Cartman stated as he walked over to Kyle, bringing the Jew into a tight hug.

"The army could get you killed," Kyle snapped. "Do you know how many people die because of these government controlled programs?"

Cartman brought his lover over to the bed. "Stop sounding like Stan and his hippie bitch."

"Well, it's true. Plus you're too fat for the army." Kyle muttered as he hid his face in Cartman's chest.

"Lies!" Cartman exclaimed. "I'm not fat anymore, I'm a total beefcake."

"Yeah…but…but I don't want you to go!" Kyle finally whined, snuggling closer to his (not really fat) fatass.

Cartman smiled slightly. "Awww! Will my sweet little Jew miss me?" he teased. Kyle nodded his head, causing Cartman to look at him in surprise. "Really? You would miss me?" he asked.

Kyle looked up at him with tears trailing down his face. "Of course I would miss you, dumbass!" He said angrily, "You're my boyfriend and I love you."

"I love you too, Kyle." Cartman said, giving the ginger a small kiss on the forehead.

"Then why would you leave me?"

"What do you mean? Who said anything about leaving you?" Cartman asked in confusion.

"Isn't that why you have those papers? So you can leave me for the army or something?"

Cartman sighed, "You really are a stupid Jew, Kahl. I only have those pamphlets to consider the army. They could help me get into a good college close to Harvard, or even Harvard itself." He explained as he ran his fingers through Kyle's hair.

"Why Harvard?" Kyle asked.

"Because you got accepted there." Cartman said. Suddenly his eyes went wide and he smacked himself in the mouth with his hand.

"How did you find out?" Kyle asked slowly. "I haven't told anyone about that."

Cartman sighed, knowing that he was caught. "I saw a letter on your bed one day and I wanted to know what it was," he said. "When I found out you could be going away for college—because why would you stay in South Park? I realized that I wanted to be near you, because I don't want to break up because of the distance."

Kyle stared at his boyfriend with wide eyes. "Cartman, I was going to reject the acceptance. That's why I didn't tell anyone."

"Why? Your parents have been pushing you for Harvard since we were kids!" Cartman exclaimed in shock.

"Yes, I know, but I wanted to be near you." Kyle said.

Cartman chuckled, "I guess we should have just talked to each other instead of keeping secrets."

"Yeah," Kyle agreed. "So…no army." Kyle said bluntly.

Cartman smiled, "No army…if we go to the same college," he promised.

Kyle smiled and kissed his boyfriend. "Of course we will go to the same college, wouldn't be as chaotic if we were apart." Cartman laughed and drew the ginger closer to him, treating him to a long, passionate kiss.


The End! Don't you just love happy endings?

Well, that was my one-shot. Hope you liked it. If you did, go ahead and review. I would also like to say that I am taking requests for stories, just PM me with what you want and I will write it :D

Also, please like me on facebook. Just type in my user name. I give pictures, occasional previews, and links to other stories of mine.

I shall see you again soon, my readers. I love you!