As a member of the Sohma family, I am expected to be, in every way; Excellent. Good grades, perfect manners and a flawless presentation. We are upper-class. An old and long-standing family. Bound by tradition, and social mandate; and by a curse. When I was very young, it was just a legend. The whisper at the New Year's banquet; that the spirits of the zodiac are passed down. Symbolically, as I was told. After each member died, the next child conceived takes their place. Then, they and their family are showered with money and high-status. The ones born too early, or too late, or not at all, tossed outside the walls, and led to believe that it is nothing but a symbolic tradition.
This is what I believed, until the day, I finally met, my half-brother.
We were conceived through the same motivation. The previous rat's health was declining, so the pressure to have children was heightened. The men, taking up any woman wanting the status.
It was the first New Year's celebration I fully remember. I was probably about six. My foster mother, Misaki, brought me, she was very tense, and her smile painted. Only now do I understand why.
Before the Juunishi go to their special banquet, they mingle with the rest of the extended family. Misaki pointed out each one, telling me which animal they represented.
"...and that tall young man with the dark hair over one eye...he's the dragon. Hatori. Can you say his name?"
"Hatori." She still treated me like a toddler at times. But she drilled me, making sure I knew all their names.
"And that's Yuki."
"Yuki. He looks like me!" A child's discovery. I knew my silver hair and eyes was uncommon among the dark haired population.
"Yes, yes he does." Then she left me with other Outside children to exude pleasantries with our relatives.
The rat. He was small. Delicate and wispy looking to me. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He's always had that quality about him. He was rare. Like a piece of art, or a flower. You wanted to behold him.
I was too young to know that staring was rude, so that's probably why I was the only one to notice him slip away from the crowd.
"Yuki-san?" I caught him in an outside corridor.
His eyes widened in fear when he saw me. "I-I'm not supposed to talk to you- Okaa-san will get mad!"
I tilted my head to the side. Silver curls begging to be free from their clips. "Why?"
"I-I don't know." He spoke so quietly, and carefully.
"Then why? You look like me. Do you know why?" I somehow knew it wasn't a coincidence. I knew that there was something important and heavy weighing in the air.
"Please- leave me alone. D-don't get any closer!"
"Why?" I began to take more tentative steps towards him, pursuing him in his retreat. He was swift, but weighed down by his heavy traditional kimono. I didn't want to accept that fear on his face. "Wait!" I ran, grabbing hold of his kimono, and simultaneously tripping on mine. For a split second, he cried out, before he seemed to be consumed by smoke and clothing. "Huh?" I held in my hands, empty robes. And sure enough, a small silver rat squirmed out. Scampering away.
"The...rat?" It wasn't a shock. It made sense, he was after all, the Rat of the Zodiac.
"What the hell is going on here!? Yuki?" I turned to see a slender platinum-haired woman storm in; his mother. "What did you do? Worthless child!?" She grabbed me by my collar. Holding me up so forcefully, I wanted to cry.
"I-I didn't mean to-" She slapped me. So hard that I saw spots. She let me fall dazed to ground. It was all I could do to run away. Convinced I had done something horribly wrong.
Misaki found me the next morning. Near the wall. She told me later, that there was also a white haired boy there too. It was dark, but she thought that it was the Ox boy, Hatsuharu.
Needless to say, we didn't go to another new year's party for quite some time.


We were then moved into a house on the "inside". While this was perceived by most in the family as a great honour, we found that it was hardly more than a formality. The house was an old and decrepit one located near an area of the wall that was crumbling with overgrown plants and murky ponds. We became one of the privileged alright. Misaki had known all along, my discovery of the true nature of the curse only hastened our placement there.
Around the time of my 8th birthday, Misaki surprised me with signing me up for karate lessons at the Sohma Dojo.
"It'll be fun! You've always been very active! This will help you channel all your energy! Plus you can do it with all your friends." 'Friends' was a very generous term. The Sohma children that I spent time with all thought I was weird. Quiet and brooding. Always saying weird things at random times. "Also, you can meet some of the Juunishi who also go there!"
"Does- does Yuki go there?"
"Yes!"
"Mom! Don't you remember what happened last time I saw him?"
She sighed, her smile fading only slightly. "Yes, but I highly doubt any of that will be a problem. They go to certain measures to avoid, discovery."
"I still don't get why it's such a big deal. They turn into animals. Big whoop."
Misaki has always been gracious and understanding with me.
"I thought that you'd understand, Kane-chan."
"I guess, I mean, people might be shocked. But, it's still strange."
"I'm sure that with a mind like yours, you'll understand it even better than I do, someday." She patted me on the head.
"Okay." I replied in defeat.


I was taken to Kazuma-shishou's dojo the next week. I got my uniform and began with the other beginners. I took to it quickly, always being a fast learner. Over the months I gained several new "Friends". Girls that I sat with occasionally during breaks and talked with about simple things. There was however, a point when I realised my distaste for them and their vindictive manners. That was when I first befriended Kagura, the Boar.
"Hey Kanae," One of the girls addressed me casually. "You coming to Karaoke this weekend?" Some of the other girls snickered.
"I bet Kanae can't sing at all! It'll be fun!" They seemed to think that was funny.
I shrugged. "I don't know, am I invited?"
"Yeah, of course you are, I asked you didn't I?"
I remained silent, taking a bite of my Onigiri. "I don't really know that many popular songs."
She rolled her eyes. "C'mon, that's beside the point! You're just supposed to go and have fun!"
I took another silent bite. "Is Kagura-san invited?" They all started laughing again.
"What, seriously? Is that some kind of joke? You're pretty funny!" I stared at her blankly, standing up from the group. "Hey! Where are you going?"

I didn't answer them. But I could still hear them whispering. I just didn't understand. If they didn't like me, why were they always asking me to hang out?
I walked around the corner to see Kazuma-shishou just finishing up preparing for the next block.
"Shishou?" I asked meekly.
Kazuma smiled warmly at me. "Yes Kanae-chan? What is it?"
"Have you seen Kagura-san anywhere?"
He laughed. "Yes, I think she's still in the sparring hall." I nodded and began walking away.
"And Kanae?"
"Yes, Shishou?"

He smiled warmly. "You don't need to be quite so formal around here."

I nodded. "Okay, Kazuma." I said simply, walking away with a thankful nod.
Kagura was indeed in the sparring hall, she was practicing her round-house kicks on a rather worn-looking practice bag. I feared that the faded seams would become completely undone.

"Kagura?" I asked, causing her to pause mid-form.
"Hey, Kanae!" She huffed, landing a solid cross-cut punch before bowing to customarily end her practice form. She had a lot of brute strength and could be riled up easily, but that sometimes can be a great weakness. I learned that the key was avoidance. Get her off her centre, then knock her down. This also seemed to calm her down quite a bit. She turned around, bouncing towards me with a smile. "What brings you here? Come to spar again?" She jokingly assumed a fighting stance and aimed a punch that I blocked.
"No, I mean, we do enough of that already."
"I suppose you're right." She shrugged. "Then why are you here?"
I pressed my lips together in what came off as a grimace, trying to find the words "Well, those girls asked me to go to Karaoke with them…"
"Oh?" She asked, giving a smiled that felt fake to me. "Are you gonna with them?"
"No…" I said, looking curiously at her. She didn't…look sad but…she had to be. It changed when I gave my reply.
"Oh? Why not? It seems like it'd be fun!"
She walked away to get her towel from her discarded gym bag and I followed her. "I asked them if you were coming too and…" my face scrunched up, I didn't really understand why, but what they said really made me…angry. "I…I didn't want to go if you weren't there." Because, I felt a similarity to Kagura. If they hated Kagura so much, their apparent tolerance for me couldn't be genuine.

She gave me a slightly shocked look. "R-really? Kanae?" She suddenly began to tear up and she pounced me with a loud bellow of emotion.
"K-kagura?!" I managed as she nearly bowled me over. Her tight made me very uncomfortable…and…it wasn't just the tightness of her embrace.
"Kanae-chan!" She wailed almost indistinguishably.
"K-kagura-s-san! I—can't…breathe." I gasped as she suddenly released me.
"S-sorry." She stuttered, twisted her hand in her hair. "I just…" She looked up at me. "Does this mean…we're…friends?"
"I...suppose?" I gave her a smile as she erupted into joyous cries.
"Hooray! I'm so excited!" She leapt forward, taking my hands in hers. "So, is it okay if I call you Kana-chan?"
"I…" Her wide energetic eyes were almost…pleading. She…was desperate for someone who she could call such things.
"Yeah…" I relented, glad to see her nervous look melt into joy again. "Yeah it's fine!"
I think at that point I was happy for a moment. Happy that there was someone besides my mother who could be there for me in any capacity.
The joyous moment was cut short however when a third person entered the sparring room without warning. The bright orange hair and unpleasant demeanour was unmistakable.
"Kyou-kun!" Kagura departed from me so fast that I lost my balance a bit and stumbled back to a wall behind me.
It was a fact I had come to observe. Kagura's behaviour always radically shifted whenever Kyou was around. It was…baffling to me. He was hardly anything but aloof and rather rude.
She grinned widely at him, exclaiming something almost unintelligible. Kyou only tried to brush her off as she forcefully threw her arms around him.
Neither of them noticed when I slipped away.


Free sparring was in full swing by the time I arrived back in the main hall. It was a sort of limbo between class sessions where some children spar with some of them staying after their class ended, and others having come early for theirs. I had no initial intention to join, that was however until a certain someone decided to drag me in.
My path was suddenly blocked, as a tuft of snow-white obscured by vision.
"Fight me." Hatsuharu said as I looked down at him in confusion..
"Idiot, we're not allowed to." I had to dodge a lumbering punch. I quickly sidestepped out of the way, grabbing his wrist and flinging him off balance. "You need to work on your centre." I scoffed. "That's why you're still a yellow belt!" I was already a blue belt by then.
He got up, seeming dazed. "That's what Master always says."
"That's because it's true. And I'm your sempai so-"
"Do you ever wonder why you look so much like Yuki?"
Me and Haru's interaction had been somewhat minimal up to that point. I was already year above him in school and Haru always acted younger than he actually was. "Hatsuharu, I don't understand you. You have no sense of timing." I was going to go get changed to go when he spoke again.
"You have, haven't you?" I didn't really like him, because he seemed so blank. His emotions so mottled. It made me feel uneasily calm to be around him.
"No, I can't say that I have, I haven't even talked to him since that day at the Banquet ages ago."
"You should try again. He really isn't that bad."
"Now what is up with you? Just a week or so ago, you hated that "damn rat"." I heard and saw many things here at the Sohma estate.
"Yeah, but then I actually tried talking to him. You can't just judge him."
"I'm not judging him. I'm sure he wants nothing to do with me."
"You were both young. You can't be blamed." He said almost arily.
"Now it sounds like you're talking about us having an affair." My forehead twinged.
"He seems to be a magnet for love."
"What is that supposed to mean?!"
He stood up calmly, getting up to walk away. "I think you should ask Yuki about it yourself."
"It's just a coincidence." I stated defiantly.
I knew that Misaki wasn't my real mother. By then, I understood that. But, my birth parents at that time, were still unknown to me.