Chapter One- Unfulfilled Plans
James' P.O.V
I walked into 2 J. As soon as I was in the apartment (that I had shared with my friends and band mates) I let out my groan of frustration. I slammed the door, and plopped on the couch... I almost hit Kendall in the face with my hand as I did so. I didn't bother apologizing I was to frustrated at the fact this was the last time I would see Mary for 6 months at least, and she was still completely oblivious to how much I feel for her.
Hell maybe I more than feel for her. Maybe I love her? Screw that I am in love with her. Why didn't I just take the chance to tell her while we were in high school? I mentally kicked myself for realizing that when our high school years were over.
"You didn't tell her did you" Kendall said. There was hope when I looked into his eyes. I knew he hoped that Mary knew everything and that we had kissed the whole way home, and I was just angry because it ended. Too bad I would crush what little hope my blond band mate had.
"Nope" I said as I let another frustrated groan escape my lips.
"James" he yelled. He popped up from the couch and there was nothing left in his emerald eyes but exasperation. I could feel one of his dumb speeches in the air. "Why didn't you tell her?"
"There just wasn't a moment" I knew that wouldn't make him calm down and I was going to get a speech either way. "I can't just tell my best friend that I've been in love with her for as long as I can remember without there being a moment."
"Waiting for a moment? You probably aren't going to get another chance for months. Did you ever think about that waiting for your god damn moment?"
"Not until after I dropped her off because I got so nervous because all I could think about was how beautiful she looked and her blue eyes were all you know… Mary like."
"James Diamond how can this be so hard. You can ask out any other girl in this world and you're one hundred percent confident when you do it. What made this situation so fucking different?" I flinched knowing Kendall only cursed when he was really annoyed.
"Yes but those were other girls. Most of which names I don't even remember. This is Mary."
"What does she not have a vagina or something?"
"You know that's not what I mean Kendall. Of course she's another girl physically it's not what's in between her legs that makes me nervous." Kendall was now really starting to irate me. Can't he just say his words of wisdom then go do whatever the hell he does with Logan?
`"Vagina or no Vagina you're chickening out James, and running out of precious time each time you keep your mouth shut. She's going to Julie Art which is all the way in New York City. She won't be able to return for months. You don't know what could happen within that long time of separation. If you truly want a chance with Mary you need to tell her now. Moment right or not." Kendall finished his speech and left me alone in the living room to think.
In some ways he was right. Mary would be gone for six months at the least before coming to visit. Considering it has to do with education I doubt we would be able to call each other every day. Hell 6 months or more apart with little contact might even make Mary no longer think of me as her best friend anymore.
However in other ways Kendall could not have been more wrong. What would be the point in looking into Mary's deep blue eyes, and confessing my love to her if she would break my heart by leaving? There was no way a long distance relationship could work. After all she would be living on a college campus. Tons of guys were there who, unlike me, she could see every day.
I didn't know which part of me to follow. My gut which said to go get my Mary or my brain which told me at this point it would be completely useless. However indecisive I was though my dumbest move was rather than fighting to make a damn decision I laid on the couch to take a nap.
Mary's P.O.V
I looked around the nearly empty room that would no longer be mine in a little less than two hours' time.
"Knock, knock" my brother said. Although he looked tough enough to take a whole wrestling team on when he talked you didn't have to even ask if he was flamboyantly gay.
"Hey Jake" I replied. I desperately wanted him out knowing the question that was about to escape from his lips.
"So hoe's it go?" I knew what he was referring to but decided to play dumb
"How did what go?" I replied sitting on my suit case so I could get the stubborn zipper zipped.
"Come on Mary don't play stupid. Did you tell James?"
"Um-" I started to blush. Leave it to Jake to make points very clear.
"I want every detail" he gushed plopping on my mattress.
"Well-"
"You sound nervous." He noted "Oh my god did he reject you?" he let out a gasp.
"Nothing happened" I screamed finally snapping out of irritation. His mouth hung open. Although I wasn't sure if it was out of disappointment, because he couldn't get the juicy story he was craving; or shock because I actually chickened out. It wasn't something I did very often.
"What do you mean "nothing happened?"" he screamed horrified.
"I-I don't know. I had full intensions on saying something but then my nerves got the best of me, and I started to think about losing our friendship because he doesn't feel the same way or terrible problems due to commutation if he does."
"First off if you leave without saying a word about it with in the first three months away you'd probably not even consider him your best friend anymore. Lastly what's love without a little risk?
The last words my mother told me before I saw her die before my eyes ran through my mind. Though it was elven years ago that she died my vision became blurry. My brother by then was out of the room (Probably doing whatever gay couples do with hi boyfriend.)Purposely leaving me to think about what I really wanted.
First off James was my best friend, and if I told the guy I loved him for as long as I can remember, and he didn't return that feeling what would become of our friendship? If by some chance James felt the same way it would only make it that much harder to leave. Which would definitely put my future at risk. What's love without a little risk, and a little decision that will impact something vital in my life no matter which I choose?
