I trusted him.
Maybe this is where I'm meant to start regretting it all. To say how much I wish I'd listened to all the people who say that Noughts are bad news. To say they were right, that Noughts and Crosses should never, ever mix.
But I don't regret it.
And I don't- I just can't hate him.
Something must have happened to make him this way. Steve... was that really his name? I don't think so. I don't know. I will never know, not now, because I'm going to die. Steve- or whatever his real name was- killed me. But I don't blame him.
People don't just flip for no reason. I saw it, right before he hit out. Deep in his eyes, spreading across his face. Panic. No, more than just panic. Fear. But what was he scared of? Me? That can't be true. What's scary about me?
I think I know what it was, though. It sounds strange, but the answer is staring me in the face. Love. He was scared that I loved him.
That doesn't answer any of my questions, though. If you think someone's in love with you and you don't want it, you tell them to back off or you break up with them. Not beat them to death. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe he thought that people would hate him for making a Cross fall in love with him.
No. It hits me then, hard. He wasn't scared of me loving him. He wasn't scared of falling for a Cross. It was love itself.
Steve was afraid of love.
I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have forced it on you. I should have realised. I should never- it's my own fault I'm dying. I should have been more careful.
Steve, can you ever forgive me?
I forgive you.
Can you ever forgive me?
