A/N: Okay so no I'm not watching S13….but yes I watched "the clip" personally I thought it was horrible and once again an insult to Benson and Stabler….however I was not surprised. That being said, here's my take on what happened/should have happened….either way….it's all good!
Olivia noticed a package on her desk addressed to her and then her eyes immediately went to the return address….ES….she knew….it was Elliot… She looked around the squad room to see if anyone was looking, and when she noticed she was alone, she began to open it. She pulled out a note that said Semper Fi El. It was a mini badge attached to the note. She was a bit confused. She immediately put everything back in the envelope and stuck it in her drawer until she could look at it better at home, by herself.
She finished her shift, grabbed the envelope and made her way home. She unlocked the door to her the apartment, threw her keys on the coffee table, got a drink and sank onto her couch. She starred at the envelope sitting on her coffee table for what seemed like hours. She was afraid to open it again. She had already looked at it quickly at work. Why was she afraid? Finally, she grabbed the envelope and opened it again. She thought to herself Simper Fi…again? Why? What is he is trying to tell her?
Three weeks earlier
Olivia's phone rang interrupting the nap she starting to take in the cribs. She didn't recognize the number and thought about ignoring it but something told her not to.
"Hello" she said.
There was silence for a minute or two.
"HELLO!" this time she was yelling.
"Liv, it's….it's me" she heard the voice on the other end. She, of course, immediately recognized it but still didn't know what to say.
"Liv? You there?" the voice said again.
"Yeah…yeah sorry…I'm here El….I just….I wasn't….I haven't heard from you in months….I was just a little surprised to hear you on the other end of the phone."
"I know, Liv. I got your messages. I'm really sorry I haven't been in touch. It's been a rough few months for me. I want to explain it all to you, but not over the phone. Can you meet me?"
Her heart sank. After all this time he wants to meet her? Why? What's changed all of a sudden? Why should she? He blew her off for months. She knew it must have been a horrible time for him but why shut her out? She realized she had all these question, and would never know the answers unless she let him explain. Truth of the matter was, she wanted to see him. She really wasn't even mad anymore. She missed him. She wanted to talk to him and always found it hard to deny him anything.
"Um, yeah, sure we can talk. Why don't you come over to my place? Is tonight good for you, say around 8? I'll order pizza."
"Yeah, that would be great Liv, I'll see you at 8 and Liv?"
"Yeah?" she answered.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome, El. I'll see you tonight."
On cue, never one to be late, her doorbell rang right at 8 p.m. She opened the door and her eyes immediately filled with tears. She hadn't laid eyes on him in months and just seeing him standing there. His blue eyes staring back at her. She was a goner. She immediately wiped the tears away and threw her arms around him. He reciprocated by snaking his arms around her waist and hugging her tightly. She whispered into his ear through the tears "I've missed you so much."
He whispered back "I've missed you too, Liv."
When they finally broke apart they just took each other in. There were many minutes of awkward silence, which made both of them sad. There was never awkward silence between them. It felt strange and at the same time, they felt as though they had just seen each other yesterday.
"Pizza is here you want a beer with it?" she asked trying to lighten the tense mood.
"Yeah, sounds good. Thanks."
She went to the kitchen and retrieved two slices of pizza for each of them and two beers. She sat on the couch next to him.
"So." She began. "How are you? How are Kathy and the kids?"
"That's a loaded question Liv. Not quite she where to begin" he responded. "Kathy and I divorced not too long after the shooting. It was too much. Too much for both of us. I completely shut down, and she couldn't deal with it anymore. I don't blame her. It was coming for a while even before that day in the squad room."
"I'm really sorry, El."
"Don't be. Like I said it was coming for a while. I'm fine with it. We are now getting along better than we have in years, now that we aren't married anymore. I see the older kids whenever they get a chance to come over, and I have Eli every other weekend. We are making it work. I have an apartment in Manhattan now." He told her as he gauged her reaction to knowing he's been in Manhattan all this time and hasn't been in touch.
"That's great El. I really mean that. I'm glad thing seem to be better for you now. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely hurt that I haven't heard from you in all these months."
"Liv, I know. I never wanted to shut you out. I really didn't. I needed to shut that whole day out, and everyone who was involved. I wanted to reach out to you so many times. You have no idea how many times I picked up the phone to call you. I actually did a few times, just to hear your voice but I didn't know what to say. I just hung up."
"It's okay El. Really. I started out very angry that you shut me out, but I'm not angry anymore. I guess I'm going through the "I'm really hurt by all of this stage" as she quoted the saying with her fingers. "Seeing you know, though, I just want to forget the last few months. I'm glad to see you, after all these months and just really glad you are doing better. It's really all that matters. I'm just confused as to what you wanted to talk about."
" I wanted to see you Olivia. Like I said, I've missed you. I've missed my best friend. I saw you every day for 12 years. That was the hardest part of this whole thing. You. Not seeing you. Not talking to you. I just had to get through what happened on my own. It was nothing personal Olivia. If I were going to talk to anyone, it would have been you. I just couldn't face anyone, especially you. I didn't want you to think less of me because I shot a teenage girl. The teenage girl who we were supposed to be helping."
"Elliot, you did nothing wrong that day. Jenna was out of control. I feel horrible about what she went through and the pain she must have felt when she lost her mother, but that didn't give her the right to shoot up the precinct. I would have understood what you were going through, or I at least would have tried."
"Liv I know this. In my heart I knew that all along. My head was just in such a bad place. I couldn't let you see that part of me. I wasn't me. I was someone I didn't like very much and someone I didn't think you would like either. My intention was never to hurt you. I hope you know that and believe it."
"I do believe you, El. You've never lied to me before. I've trusted you with all my secrets, fears and desires for 12 years. None of that has changed. I just missed you so damn much. Basically, I've been a bitch to everyone at work and nothing has felt right since you left."
He hung his head, knowing that he had hurt her and knowing there was nothing he could do to make the past few months any less painful for her. All he could do was promise he wouldn't let it happen again.
"Liv the reason I'm here tonight is I have something for you. I was going to mail it or slide it under your door because I wasn't sure I could face you, but I decided that I needed to. I needed to see you. I missed you too damn much not to face you and try to explain."
He handed her an envelope. It had her address on it and his return address, as he had said he was going to mail it.
"Do me a favor Liv? Don't open it until I go please. I just want you to take in what it means to me and the fact that I'm giving it to you. I'm gonna get going now. I told the girls I would call them tonight before they went out on some horrifying double date that I'm sure I don't want to know about."
"El, I….am I going to see you again? I mean anytime soon. Or am I going to open this envelope to find out this is the last time I'm ever going to lay eyes on you?"
He moved closer to her leaving almost no space between the two of them, leaned in and said "I promise you, you will see me again. Probably sooner than you want to." He said with a small laugh.
"I doubt that" she replied under her breath hoping he wouldn't hear her. "Okay, then….I guess I will call you …or you can call me…anytime El. Maybe we can go out for a drink, like old times or something."
"Sounds good" he replied with that famous Stabler smile that she has missed so much she almost broke down and started crying right there.
She walked him to the door and opened it for him, almost scared to let him walk out, afraid if she did she really might never see him again. She thought to herself she needed to trust what he said, that they would see each other again. She had to let him go again, to get him back again. He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek and said "I really missed you. More than you will ever know. I will talk to you soon. I promise."
Taken aback by the fact that Elliot Stabler just kissed her on the cheek, she almost didn't even know what to say as he was walking out of her apartment.
"El, wait" she grabbed his jacket and he spun around. She wrapped her arms around him again, as she did when he first appeared at her door. She hugged him tightly again and said "I really missed you too. I'll talk to you soon right?" as if she were looking for reassurance from him that they would see and talk to each other again.
"Liv, I promise we will talk soon. Have a good night. Get some sleep. Oh by the way in case I didn't tell you when I got here, you look great" and with that he walked to the elevator not looking back.
Olivia went back into the apartment, closed and locked the door. She had tears in her eyes. She was overwhelmed at the thought that she had finally seen Elliot and talked to him after all these months. Her eyes immediately moved to the envelope on the coffee table. She walked over to it and just starred at it. Afraid to open it, but at the same time dying to know what was inside.
She began to open it, when she finally took the contents out, she found a necklace with a medal on it, and a letter that accompanied it. She began to read the letter as tears formed in her eyes.
A/N: Oh yeah I did leave you hanging! What does the letter say? What does the necklace mean and what is the medal? Okay well we all know that one! Promise to update soon, maybe even tomorrow!
Review here or on twitter… Qgirl25 Thanks guys!
