Both broken glass and broken lives,
Will cut and feel so painful,
Both broken glass and broken lives,
Leave hurt, but nothing gainful.
we
are
walking
on
broken
glass
(
Had she not seen him with her own two eyes, she would not have believed them.
But they had been right, of course.
Step.
She halted on her tracks again, swallowing hard, breathing in air, reminding herself this was not a dream.
But it might very well be a dream, seeing at how utterly impossible everything was.
But if this was really impossible...
Step.
...how was it that he was here?
Naruto's wide grin broke her trance. "Sakura-chan!"
Sakura forced a small smile. "Naruto," she said and ever-so-slowly turned to the person beside him. Like Naruto, was battered and bleeding with bruises and cuts all over his face, but one look and she knew who it was.
She balled her hands into fists.
"Sasuke."
His onyx eyes flickered towards her for a second and, again, he looked away.
What are you doing here?
"Welcome home."
She had purposely avoided him after that. Whenever Naruto would set up a lunch date for their team, Sakura would decline most of the time – because most of the time he was invited. She would also decline group training, no matter how Naruto insisted or no matter how Kakashi teased or no matter how Sai told her that Uchiha Sasuke wasn't as much as an ass as he expected. (But an ass nonetheless.) When he sometimes found his way to the hospital, harboring injuries that were either from Naruto or whoever he decides to challenge for a spar, she would also mysteriously be on a day off or is busy with something else.
In other words, wherever Uchiha Sasuke was, Haruno Sakura wasn't.
But there had been other inevitable instances, too, when the two would meet – when Naruto would (obviously purposely) leave out the fact that he'd invited a certain black-haired, black-eyed boy or when said boy would unexpectedly show up in the middle of training or when they meet each other when he was on his way out and she was on her way in the Hokage Tower...
...or when they accidentally met in the market place.
Much like what was happening now.
It was already too late when Sakura realized that she'd in fact – in the middle of her daze – bumped into Sasuke. (She inwardly cursed herself when she softly muttered the word "sorry" before she realized who he was – and mentally kicked herself afterward for thinking like that because it was her fault because she wasn't paying attention and she wasn't at all bitter, so why not say sorry?)
Sakura's jade eyes widened slightly when she noticed him quietly picking up the apples that had accidentally fallen out of her brown paper bag. She crouched to the ground to gather the rest.
Sakura paused right before she picked up her third apple, feeling the anger rise up from the pit of her stomach.
"Sasuke, why are you here?" She had meant it to sound snappy, but, to her surprise, her voice sounded tired.
"Helping you pick up your apples," he replied, not even bothering to look at her as he did so, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Sakura felt anger and annoyance now.
"I mean why are you here?" she asked again, looking at him seriously.
Sasuke picked up the last apple and raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm out of food," he said, taking the paper bag from beside the pink-haired girl and dropping the apples inside.
Sakura groaned in frustration. "I mean why are you back in Konoha?" she almost yelled, throwing both her hands up in the air, forgetting that she was holding three apples. Said apples now rolled on the ground again.
Sasuke looked at her stoically, unmoving, but his eyes, she noticed, looked far away, as if thinking hard about something. After a while, he reached for the three apples and dropped them, too, inside the paper bag.
Sakura almost failed to hear his answer as he stood up and started to walk away.
"Where else would I be?"
I.
Sakura was seven when she first met her him. She was crying in the middle of a playground, all by herself, because her classmates teased her about her wide forehead again. She had been crying there for about an hour with no one to console her and comfort her... until a white handkerchief was offered to her by a stranger. Sakura stopped momentarily as she looked up to the stranger. He was beautiful, she thought. He had dark hair and even darker eyes. He frowned at her.
"Why are you crying?" he asked.
Almost like a cue, Sakura began crying again, remembering her predicament.
He blinked, startled and slightly panicked. "H-hey -"
"Th-they said my forehead was a-abnormal," she hiccuped. "They were m-mean t-to me."
He frowned again. "Who are they?" he asked.
Sakura sniffed and shook her head. "I... I don't know..."
"Do they know you?"
She shook her head again. "I..." she hiccuped. "No."
"Hn." He offered her his handkerchief again. This time, she took it.
"Thank you," she said softly.
They stayed like this for a while; her crying on the ground and him standing in front of her.
After a while, she spoke again. "They hate m-me," she said softly.
"No, they don't," he said.
Jade met black. "H-how do you know?"
"Because they don't know you," he shrugged and looked away. "Nii-chan says you can never really hate anyone unless you know them."
Sakura opened her mouth to ask him to explain when a tall woman with long, dark hair came calling.
"Sasuke! Where are you?"
The boy looked at the direction of the voice and then back at her. "I have to go," he said before turning around.
He was already halfway when she realized she still held his handkerchief in her hands. "Y-your handkerchief!" she called.
The boy paused and looked at her through the corner of his eyes. "Keep it," he said and he started walking again.
Sasuke.
Sakura was seven when she found out his name.
Two months after their encounter in the marketplace, Sasuke's probation was lifted. As a result, Naruto (ever the hyper-active party-goer that he was) threw a huge party at his behalf. Almost everyone he knew attended – there were some he didn't, not that he didn't care because the only thing he did was sit in a corner and glare at nothing in particular. Almost everyone he knew. Of course, the day Uchiha Sasuke was proclaimed a Konoha ninja again was also the day Sakura decided to take an overtime at the hospital.
Sasuke scowled. The girl was obviously avoiding him, so why not just say "No, I can't attend because Sasuke would be there"?
Not that he cared what she thought about him, anyway.
Not that he cared about the way she stiffened around him, or the way she balled her small hands into fists whenever he was near, or the way she glared at his general direction.
"I mean why are you back in Konoha?"
Sasuke pressed his lips into a thin line. He killed Orochimaru, he killed Itachi (and regretted it afterwards), threatened to destroy Konoha (that he regretted too), killed Danzo, saw his already dead brother die again, killed Uchiha Madara, killed Yakushi Kabuto... he had done all that was needed to be done.
Except...
"Where else would I be?"
Ay, yes. Where else would he be, if not here?
"Welcome home."
Home...
Uchiha Sasuke's onyx eyes narrowed before he decided he'd had enough for the night. He quietly rose from his seat and started walking away from "his" party.
He was here because Konoha was his home.
But he knew he wasn't at all welcomed.
… at least, not by her.
II.
Sasuke's childhood ended when he was eight years old. His innocence was wiped away the moment he saw the bloodied figures of his mother and father (and uncle and aunt and cousins and everyone - ) and the face of his own brother as he let him live.
"Avenge them."
And he became the avenger.
He cut himself off from everyone – from his old friends from school, from his classmates, from the people who sympathized for his loss – from all. He had sworn to himself that he would come stronger and kill the very person who brought him to this very fate.
Cut. Slash. Dodge. Burn.
He swore to become better.
Dodge. Slash. Throw. Dodge.
He swore to become stronger.
Throw. Cut. Slash. Burn.
Sasuke was eight when he swore to kill him.
Three months after his probation was lifted, he received his first official S-ranked mission. It seemed simple – assassinate the leader of a rouge ninja group in the Grass Country and put a stop to their mischief. But, of course, it wasn't ranked S for no reason – said group were experts with poisons. Deadly, powerful poisons that cause strong hallucinations and death. He had been lucky enough to succeed, but he ventured back with his head spinning and his vision blurring. It was a scratch. It was only a damn scratch for God's sake, but he felt like utter and complete shit.
He ran as steadily as he could back to Konoha.
Just a little bit more...
He had passed the gates – at least he thought so; his vision was getting the better of him and he now heard strange ringing in his left ear.
He concentrated chakra on his feet as he jumped towards the roofs.
Where the hell were the fucking guards?
He felt his body swaying momentarily before catching himself again. He had to go to the hospital. He had to -
"Ugh," he groaned as he clutched his head in pain.
Shit. Make it stop. Fuck, fuck, fuck -
"Sasuke?"
Sasuke forced his eyes open, but everything was suddenly so bright. He groaned again, pulling his hair from his scalp.
"What happened?"
He felt a hand on his shoulder blade, but the contact felt like fire.
He flinched away.
It burns. Make it stop -
"Sasuke..."
Fuck fuck fuck -
"Shh - you're gonna be okay."
He opened his eyes again, and all he saw was black.
Sakura had just gone from the hospital from another overnight shift. She had excessive paperwork these days, she felt like her head was going to explode. She jumped from roof to roof towards her apartment window (this way was faster than that stupid, always-busted apartment door) when a figure sanding by her window stopped her. She reached for her kunai pouch before she realized she didn't have it with her.
Sakura inwardly cursed herself. Oh well, she could always use her brute strength.
She slowly approached the figure when she heard a strangled groan from it.
Wait a minute, is that -
"Sasuke?"
He looked up weakly, but then he groaned again, clutching his raven-dark locks.
Despite her obvious resentment towards the person, her medical instincts took over.
"What happened?"
He was sweating, she noted. From the way he looked at her a while ago and the way his eyelids fluttered, it looked like he was also suffering from mild hallucination. There was a slight graze on the back of his left hand and other than that, he seemed okay. Other than that, he seemed okay. So what was wrong with him?
She put a lightly put a hand on his left shoulder, but he flinched it away, like it pained.
It was then she noticed the angry red rashes that were all over his left arm.
Shit.
"Sasuke..." Sakura bit her lip as she reached her hand to his forehead, gathering enough chakra to numb his senses and render him unconscious. "Shh – you're gonna be okay."
She waited until his rapid breathing slowed to normal before she reached out for him and took him inside.
III.
Sakura was nine when she first saw him cry. It was right about dusk when she passed by an old playground eating ice cream. She stopped at her tracks when she saw him. He was standing in the middle of the playground, eyes watching the orange-violet sky when a single tear fell from his left eye.
Sakura couldn't find any strength to move. Uchiha Sasuke – orphan at age eight, now age nine was alone... much like she had been when he found her crying.
But she knew very well that those were two very different cases. She cried her heart out for more than an hour because she was teased and he... he cried one drop of tear – just one drop – even after his whole family died.
Sakura clenched her left fist, her forgotten ice cream dripping down her right hand.
He was the strongest person she had ever met.
And she would always, always look up to him.
Sakura was nine when she first fell in love.
Sasuke slowly opened his onyx eyes. His first thought was that he wasn't in so much pain anymore and his second thought was where the hell am I?
Slowly, he sat up, looking at the room he was in. It was plain, with no decorations. Just a single bed, a dresser and a closet. There were two doors. Sasuke assumed one led to the bathroom.
Sasuke put a hand on his throbbing head.
What had happened?
He remembered arriving at Konoha... and then he remembered excruciating pain. And someone was there... he didn't know who, but someone saw him. But why wasn't he in the hospital? Why was he in somebody else's room?
Again, where the hell was he?
"Oh good, you're awake," a voice interrupted his train of thoughts. He knew that voice!
Standing by the bathroom door was Sakura, wiping her hands with a clean white sheet of cloth. She looked at him expectantly.
"Well? Are you feeling better?" she asked, her voice impassive and betraying nothing.
"Where am I? What happened? How – how did you -"
"You were standing by my apartment window last night when I found you. You were poisoned. I haven't seen that kind of poison before, you're lucky there wasn't that much in your system. It was pretty strong," she said, slowly walking towards him and handing him a glass of water and a capsule.
Sasuke looked at her, inquiring.
"It's for the headache," she replied, shrugging.
"Thanks," he muttered softly before taking the glass and medicine from her hands.
Sakura watched him take the medicine first before speaking. "I didn't have time to take you to the hospital when I saw you. I didn't have much chakra left and I had to save it to heal you. But you have to check yourself in today, just in case."
Sasuke nodded absently as he looked at the back of his left hand. There was a thin line that went from his index finger knuckle to his wrist bone. He slowly flexed his left hand, testing it.
"I had deepen the cut to extract the poison out," Sakura answered an unasked question. "It looked pretty bad."
Sasuke nodded again. "Aa." He looked up at her. "Thank you."
Sakura shrugged, looking away, her face betraying nothing. "It's my job," she replied.
It was at that moment when Sasuke noticed how tired Sakura looked. There were dark circles around her eyes and her cheekbones were more obvious than they were before. She looked tired. Exhausted, even. Sasuke wondered when the last time she had a good night's sleep was.
He felt guilty. He was part of the reason it wasn't last night.
Sasuke quietly got up and nodded to her one last time before leaving.
IV.
Sasuke was ten before he started studying at the Konoha Ninja Academy. The moment he arrived, he was the talk of the whole school. Wherever he went, he heard whispers all around him, although he chose to ignore them. He was aware that they knew what happened to him and his family. He was also aware of what they thought of him.
Half of the people admired Uchiha Sasuke. He was strong, talented, intelligent and handsome. He was perfect, they said. The other half, well, they hated his guts. They said he was too arrogant for his own good and that he was making others feel sorry for him because he wanted attention.
But Sasuke didn't care what other people thought about him. He didn't want their loathing. He didn't want their adoration. He, mostly, didn't want their pity.
And so, Sasuke secluded himself from everyone and chose to study alone, eat alone, sit alone and train alone.
But there were also times when he'd look at his classmates laughing and sharing stories and playing and during those times, he'd feel lonely.
Sasuke was ten when he realized how truly alone he was.
Two weeks after his poisoning, Uchiha Sasuke walked into Haruno Sakura's office with his arms crossed on his chest.
"Sakura."
"Hmm? Can I help you?" she asked without so much as sparing a glance at him.
"Go home."
Sakura stopped from her scribbling and looked up at the eighteen-year old Uchiha with an incredulous look in her face. "Excuse me?"
Sasuke sighed. "It's late, Sakura. Go home."
Sakura stared at the raven-haired boy, mouth slightly open in shock.
Well that was completely random. Who would have thought he had it in him?
"I still have work to do," Sakura answered after a moment.
"You can continue that tomorrow," he reasoned, his voice already with a slight trace of annoyance.
"You're not the boss of me," she snapped.
Sakura glared at him. Sasuke glared back. They glared for until about a minute before Sakura broke it, and decided to continue with her work.
Why was she wasting her time with this arrogant bastard, anyway?
After a moment, Sasuke sighed. "Sakura, you're tired. You look tired. You should go home."
Sakura gaped at him again.
Now what was he playing at?
"Look, Sasuke. You don't owe me anything. That helping you with the poison thing? That was my job. You don't have to feel responsible about me, okay?" she said slowly, like he was some child.
Sasuke scowled. "This isn't about that."
Sakura raised one pink eyebrow. "Then what is it about?"
"You look horrible," he replied.
Sakura glared again. "Well, thanks!" she said sarcastically, getting back to her work once more.
One minute.
Two minutes.
Three minutes.
Ten minutes.
"Sakura."
"Hm?"
"Go home."
"No."
"Sakura -"
"No."
"You have to go home."
"I still have work to do."
"Sakura."
"..."
Sigh. "Sakura..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... Please?"
Sakura's head raised in surprise. Did Sasuke just say... please?
She watched as he sighed yet another time. "Sakura, just go home, will you?"
She pressed her lips into a thin line. She supposed she was rather a bit tired... and she finished more than three fourths of her work already.
Sakura sighed in resignation, gathering the papers on her desk. "Fine."
She looked up at Sasuke's smug expression. "But just this once!" Her eyes narrowed.
Sasuke shrugged before he walked out of her office and left.
V.
Sasuke was twelve when he officially became a ninja. He had been assigned to the oddest team of all – with the yellow-haired dobe and the pink-haired annoying girl. They were an odd mix, team seven.
But what Sasuke found the oddest was their teacher. His left eye...
… he had the Sharingan.
But how? Only Uchihas had the Sharingan. Those who weren't Uchihas weren't worthy of it!
But after a while he understood – he understood the dobe's loneliness, he understood the girl's persistence and he understood why Kakashi was his teacher. He was strong. He could teach him to be strong. He could help him beat Itachi once and for all.
I want to become stronger. I want to become stronger.
But as time passed, Naruto slowly kept up to him.
I have to be stronger. I have to be stronger.
It was like he was taking two steps at a time.
How? How is he stronger than I am?
He learned his technique, Sasuke learned his.
You are weak. Weak, weak, weak.
Why?
Why?
He knew it wasn't enough.
I have to become stronger.
My bonds are making me weak.
Break. Break. Break.
It's not enough.
Leave. Leave. Leave.
It wasn't enough.
Weak. Weak. Weak.
Sasuke was twelve when he broke all his bonds.
But it wasn't just that once.
Every night, when Sakura unconsciously took an overtime because of her work, he would show up demanding that she went home. During the first few days of their routine, she put up a fight, but as time passed, she would go home without so much as a word and he would leave. They continued on like this for the next three weeks until Sasuke did something out of the ordinary.
Just when Sakura started piling her paperwork and arranging them by folders (Sasuke usually left by then), Sasuke approached and help her sort out the files.
Sakura gaped at him. "What are you doing?"
Sasuke shrugged. "You're taking too long," he replied.
Sakura opened her mouth and closed it again, deciding it was fruitless to pick a fight with the Uchiha.
But when they were finished and Sakura expected him to really leave, he remained standing in the middle of her office, looking at her with an unreadable expression.
"Well?" he asked.
"Well what?" she asked dumbly back.
"I'll walk you home."
VI.
Sakura was twelve when she first had her heart broken. Broken by the person she looked up to the most. Broken by the person she loved the most. Broken by him – Uchiha Sasuke. The last of the Uchihas. The sole survivor. The avenger.
She did everything she could – she waited for him at the gates, she confessed her love for him, she offered to come with him and she even threatened him – but all to no avail.
She couldn't convince him to come back.
Instead, she woke up the next morning, on a cold, stony bench left with only the words "thank you."
She cried for so long and grieved for as long as she could remember.
Sakura was twelve when Uchiha Sasuke left Konoha.
Of course Sakura had a favorite patient. Every doctor did. Every doctor had someone to admire. As for her, she was Ishida Ayame. Ayame had been confined in the hospital since she started her medical training. Shizune had been the one in charge of Ayame, but Sakura took her place.
Ayame had curly blond hair and green, green eyes. They weren't like Sakura's green. They were darker, more vivid, with streaks of gold and yellow. She though her eyes were pretty. Not only that, but Ayame also had the perfect smile.
She was thirteen years old suffering from an incurable disease. For years, Sakura had researched about everything related to the sickness, but she still couldn't find a cure. Even the great medical ninja Tsunade searched but to no avail. But Ayame had long accepted her fate.
"Everyone is bound to die someday," she had said to Sakura once. "So why escape what can't be escaped?"
Of course, Sakura never gave up.
She loved Ayame. She was positive, she was happy, she was strong, she was inspiring.
And so Sakura grieved when her heart finally stopped beating.
She sat behind her desk staring into nothing until Sasuke came demanding her to go home. She looked up at him, her face dull and lifeless before an array of tears came running down her face.
Sasuke's eyes widened slighly. "Sakura -"
"She's gone," Sakura said, her voice sounding broken. "Ayame's gone. I couldn't do anything. If only I worked harder – I couldn't find the cure – I couldn't... I'm such an idiot, why didn't I try harder?"
Sakura burried her face in her hands as she continued crying. "I couldn't do anything..."
Sakura felt a hand on her arm, pulling her to her feet. "I couldn't do anything... I'm too weak..."
"Sakura..." came Sasuke's soft voice as he pulled her into him.
"I couldn't do anything..."
Sasuke hushed her softly as she continued sobbing in his arms.
)
broken
glass
and
broken
lives
tbc
