The Moons of the Past
Remus
I do think that even she knew it. I think everyone knew, even. Well, everyone who knew me well enough. I never told Harry about the feelings I harbored for his godfather, nor did I ever reveal to James or even Peter. In fact, I didn't tell anyone. But I felt that it was obvious, the way I was both hardest and easiest on Sirius, the way I spent so much time with him… There were many other signs, signs that didn't come up with Tonks.
Tonks. I glanced over to my left to see her, her arm thrown over her eyes to block out the sun that hasn't come up yet. Currently her hair is brown and very long. Her eyes are a hazy blue, which remind me over and over of Sirius as I look into them. Of course, I don't tell her that—that'd only hurt her, for someone I can't bring back to life.
I have moved to the side of the bed now, staring at the half-moon. I think the moon is beautiful, as long as it isn't full. The eerie light it casts, giving the world a silver-lined view… Yes, it was very poetical. And the only one who ever knew I liked the moon (as long as, once again, it wasn't full) was Sirius…
"Remmy! Why are you staring at the moon like that? You look kind of like a girl who's thinking of her knight in shining armor," Sirius joked, nudging me in the ribs gently. He plopped beside me, holding two apples. He bit into on, leaving a huge chunk out of it. He offered me the other, and I accepted it, never looking at him, but still staring wistfully at the moon.
"It's not even close to full," Sirius commented. "Why the fascination?"
"I only hate full moons," I explained simply with a small smile, leaning back and turning to Sirius. "The moon transforms the world into a place where anything can happen."
"Never thought I'd live to see a werewolf like the moon. Huh," Sirius said with a small smile.
He never told any of the others…
Sirius never told the other Marauders about the special moments like that we had. He'd blab on and on about how he discovered that James likes angry women, and how Peter would much rather be a stay-at-home father. He talked and talked about their likes, their dislikes, their lives… But he never talked about mine. At first, I thought he considered it insignificant—but then I thought about it as him thinking I was special, somehow.
I never understood why Sirius thought I was more special than the others. I keep hoping that it was because I was his closest person that he cared more for me than any other person in the world. But I dismissed that as wishful thinking. Sirius only respected my opinions, and thought it best to hoard all of my advice and musings to himself.
I don't know why he valued me so highly. After a while, I think it was obvious to the both of us that I was telling him to break up with any girl that got too close to him.
I still remember that first time…
'Moony! What's the problem?" Sirius demanded. I had just stalked out of the Great Hall, annoyed at Sirius' current interest, Veronica. She was so… so… infuriating! True, I had never had a problem with her before, and she was actually nice.
I guess my over-protective-of-Sirius gene was kicking in.
"I… She…! Her!" I yelled, finally deciding on a lone word to describe the huge burden of my problems.
"Veronica?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes! Her!" I replied in a huff. I was seriously acting like a teenaged girl, maybe younger, throwing a temper tantrum, but hey—I guess I was, am, girly.
"You don't like her?" Sirius asked, as if confirming it. I gave a nod, and he sighed. "Then she's gone," Sirius said with a shrug.
"Just like that?" I asked, shocked.
"Just like that. Real friends like you are hard to come by. I can find a girl willing to go out with me almost as easily as I can find a wand in this school," Sirius said with a self-satisfied smirk.
No matter how many times I did that, he always accepted it and never said anything about it. He acted as if I was the final decision maker on all girls he went out with, and if I even said that the girl's skirt was a fourth of an inch too short to be considered normal, Sirius would toss her out the door—just like that.
He rarely questioned why I didn't have a girlfriend, or never got one. I guess he never realized I was already addicted to him.
"Hey, Moony, when you gonna meet a nice she-wolf, settle down, and have some pups?" Sirius asked me. It was on the night of James' bachelor party, and we were both hanging outside, just staring at the sky. We did that a lot.
"Never," I replied sullenly. I glanced over at him, to see his reaction, but he just kept staring ahead. I guess he expected that sort of answer, but didn't expect me to be so blunt about it. I'm kind of surprised I was so blunt.
"Yeah. Settle down with a wolf, and she'll wear the pants in the relationship," Sirius joked. I almost corrected him, but I stopped myself. It was obvious he was joking, and he knew that I would probably never be in a relationship, much less a serious one.
I always wondered why, at that moment, I didn't tell him. It was the perfect moment to go, "Well, that, and I'm crazy about you," or something along those lines.
I've always regretted not doing that. I turned backed to Tonks, to see if she was still asleep. Sometimes she'd wake up from the lack of warmth beside her. I jumped, slightly surprised that she looked different. I wasn't really surprised, because she sleep-morphs a lot. She changed from a brunette to a black haired woman, and her skin tone was a bit darker than before.
She looked kind of like a girl version of Sirius.
"Feminae!" Lily Evans yelled out, pointing her wand at James. Peter attempted to help, he really did—he knocked her hand, which did save James, but sacrificed Sirius in the process.
Sirius yelped and looked down. Something was bigger, and something—he could feel the lack of it—was gone.
"Evans!" he squeaked. His voice was much, much more feminine now—it went from being a deep baritone to a pleasant-sounding, lilting soprano.
"Thanks for the sacrifice," James mumbled to Sirius before turning to Lily. "So, since you should be feeling terrible about turning Padfoot here into a girl and all, why not go out with me to make him-her feel better?"
Before Lily could even turn red with rage, Sirius backhanded him across the face—hard. "You're being so insensitive! Can't you understand my predicament, at least a little? You should care more about your friend's troubles than trying to get into Evans' pants!"
Lily burst out laughing, and I continued suppressing my laughter. Peter was cowering behind me, not wanting Sirius to turn on him as well.
"You know what? I think having Syria around you is worse than having you as a girl!" Lily exploded. She chuckled, and left a fuming Sirius and James in her wake.
Sirius turned to me, and asked with pleading eyes to turn him back. His eyes were shining dramatically, showing that he still retained his personality.
"No," I answered simply with a chuckle.
"Why?!" Sirius—Syria demanded.
"Because. You make a pretty girl, and it's so much fun hanging around you like this. Besides, wouldn't you want to be the first female Marauder?" I asked with a smirk.
"Now I feel kind of bad about corrupting Remus," James muttered with a small laugh.
"Turn me back, or I'll cry," Sirius—Syria—threatened, knowing that I have a weak spot for crying girls.
"You haven't been a girl long enough to know how to make yourself—" I began with logic, but I was cut off when Syria began bawling. It wasn't fake sobbing, either—she was seriously crying her eyes out, somehow able to fore her tear ducts to open and pour out the salty tears.
"Homus," I muttered with a flick of my wand. Syria turned back to Sirius, and he smiled at me.
"Thanks, Remmy!" he said, throwing his arms around my neck, and then did the unthinkable—he kissed me on the cheek.
Sirius and Remus sat there, in the middle of the Great Hall, mortified by what Sirius had just done. He obviously still retained a few girly habits; else he never would have thanked him with that.
I touched the side of my cheek unconsciously. Whenever I think about that memory, I swear I could feel his lips on my cheek. As soon as I realized it was just my wishful thinking again, I sighed, retracted my hand, and let it slide back down to my lap.
"C'mon! Prongs, my family has cut me off! You could at least give me a few Galleons for some Blood Pops!" Sirius whined.
"Your affixation with that candy is kind of scary," James joked. "Sure you're not part vampire?"
"Could be, mum ran around a bit. But that's beside the point! I'll do anything!" Sirius begged.
We all immediately knew that was the wrong choice of words. "Okay, I'll pay for whatever you want if you kiss Moony on the lips," James said, pointing his thumb in my direction with a smirk.
I seriously think James knew all along that I was in love with Sirius. That's why he picked on me. Otherwise, it would have been Peter.
Sirius turned to me, and before I could say anything, he lunged at me, kissed me hard on the lips, and turned to face James. "Done?" he asked, his tone self-satisfying.
"Done," James said with a sigh. I began lagging behind the others that day at Hogsmeade—and I was kind of glad no one saw me touch my lips throughout the day.
A/N: Chapter one is done! I know I'm doing James, Tonks, maybe Peter, and an epilogue using Sirius. Whether or not I do someone else as well will be up to me and whether or not I think I can fit others in. Well, review, and I hope you enjoy the story so far! (At first it was going to be just a two-shot ((this chapter and epilogue)), but I came up with the chapter with Tonks and the chapter with James, so now it's going to be a maybe 5 chaptered story)
