Chapter one
Despite the lies that you're making,
Your love is mine for the taking.
My love is just waiting,
To turn your tears to roses.
When Warren developed Deep Vein Thrombosis and crashed, it was a pretty close deal. He'd nearly died, but with one last shock from the defibrillator paddles, his heart-rate monitor had coughed back to life, drumming out a strong, dull rhythm. Most of the Emergency Department staff felt a sense of relief in knowing that Kirsty's husband had pulled through- except Adam, that is.
No, the consultant felt an odd pang of regret as, through his own actions, a man whom he hated with all his soul had survived the ordeal. Did Warren deserve to die? No, perhaps not. But in Adam's eyes, the man who had for so long beaten and tormented the woman he loved should not hold the right to live in the same existence as her, never mind breathe the same air as she did.
As he looked down upon the immobilised man before him, surrounded by monitors and covered in wires, he bit the inside of his mouth to stop himself from doing or saying something he'd later regret.
If his suspicions were correct, then Kirsty would not hesitate to go back to him.
They would go right back to where they started, as if nothing had changed.
Four months later
Kirsty Clements bit her lip as she made the ten minute walk back from the bus stop to her house. During this time she was never quite sure on what to do; Slow down and have a little more time to think properly at the risk of provoking his rage for being late, or speed up, and have to face him sooner without having to worry that he would become suspicious of her- because suspicions always lead to anger.
More often than not, she sped up. But more often than not, he'd find a reason to be angry at her regardless of this.
She'd started wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt under her scrubs at work, if only just to avoid the constant stares of curiosity at the patterns of bruising blossoming up her arms and the concerned questions from her oblivious colleagues.
The only exception to this bubble of ignorance was Adam, who was still causing major problems for her. As much as she tried to persuade herself that it was just because he cared about her, it was becoming more and more difficult for her to hide her irritation that had long ago welled up inside her mind due to his constant interrogation of her.
"I've told you, Warren is a changed man!" She would insist, quickly becoming exasperated by the sceptical look plastered on his face. "Honestly Adam, everything's fine at home." She'd force a nowhere-near relaxed smile over her lips. "Couldn't be better."
Needless to say, he didn't believe her, instead making every effort to catch her during at time when she felt most vulnerable, and therefore most likely to let her guard down.
Unfortunately for him, Kirsty had long ago learned that letting her guard down could only ever lead to more trouble.
"Warren?" She called through the house as she hung her coat up and dropped her handbag on the coffee table in the lounge. "Nita?" Her fourteen year old daughter left her room to give her mother a hug.
"Hey, mum." Kirsty made herself smile at her teenager.
"Hey, sweetheart. How's you dad been?" Nita flinched at the word 'dad', as if she were offended by the thought that anyone could refer to that man as her father.
"He's been in a bad mood ever since I came back from school. He tried phoning you, but it went to answer phone." Kirsty bit her lip nervously. She'd left her mobile in her locker during her shift to avoid getting awkward phone calls in front of her co-workers. As Nita mumbled something about having homework to finish and trailed back to her bedroom, she steeled herself and made her way into the kitchen.
"Warren?" She repeated. Her husband looked up from the kitchen table where he was sitting with a daunting expression lingering on his face.
"You didn't answer your phone earlier. I was worried."
"I know, I'm sorry. I had to leave my phone in my locker."
"Had to?" He rose from the chair, placing a hand on the wooden table to steady his balance. Kirsty found herself nervously watching that hand, a tool of domination that she had grown to fear so much. "They aren't the boss of yer." He continued as he limped towards his wife, ignoring her attempt to help him. "The only person who can tell you what to do," He was now close enough for her to feel his warm breath on her cheek. "Is me."
"Oh come on Warren, you know I could lose my job If I'm not careful. D'you really want us to lose our main source of income?" He grabbed hold of her upper arm in one hand, and the collar of her long sleeved shirt in the other, pulling her close.
"Well at least then I wouldn't have to worry about you runnin' off with that Adam." He spat. Kirsty tried to pull away as his grasp began to hurt her already battered arm, but he only strengthened his hold on her.
"Please Warren, you're hurting me," She gasped. "I won't do it again, honestly!" It wasn't in Kirsty's personality to beg or plead, but the more scared she became, the more likely she was to resort to it to try and avoid whatever violent act he planned to carry out on her. She was a strong woman, yet the man who once loved her made her feel so very weak.
"No, it bloody well won't!" He agreed, glints of rage glistening in his eyes. He pushed Kirsty in the chest with such force that she fell back to the floor. Standing over her, with one fist raised, he spoke again. "I'll make sure of that."
Despite what she had repeatedly told Adam, things at home hadn't improved in the slightest since Warren's accident. If anything, they had worsened drastically.
He was more violent, and constantly used what he had been told by his mother in the hospital about Adam and Kirsty as a trick to make her feel guilty.
He also didn't appear to care so much about where he hurt her, either. The fact that his brutality left marks in places where other people could see them didn't appear to worry him, and this worried Kirsty. If he wasn't afraid that someone would call the police on him if they found out what he was like, did that mean he wasn't afraid to beat her so badly that she could wind up badly hurt? Hospitalised? Dead?
"Mum?" Nita popped her head round her mother's bedroom, eyes widening slightly as she caught a small glimpse of the damage Warren had caused to Kirsty's delicate skin. She dropped her shirt quickly, looking at her daughter in the mirror she had been inspecting her injuries in.
"Hey, sweetheart. Are you alright?" Nita nodded, and sat on the edge of the double bed her parents shared, and for a minute or two the only sound that could be heard in the room was the rhythmic ticking of the alarm clock. Kirsty joined her teenager on the bed, wincing only slightly as the pain in her damaged ribcage increased.
"Why do you stay with dad?" She asked. Kirsty bit her lip. She had anticipated that Nita would eventually ask this question, but no matter how many times she had rehearsed the answer in her head to perfection, she was still lost for words when the time came to use them. Sighing, she turned to look her daughter in the face. Her pale eyes resembled Warren's more than her own, but while hers still contained a healthy spark, his had become dull and piercing over the years.
"I know it's hard for you to understand." Kirsty began. "But when you're older, you'll find it easier to."
"No, I won't! I'll never understand why you were so happy to leave him before the accident but you won't now... It doesn't make any sense!" The nurse's mind flashed back to something Warren had said just moments before he fell down the stairs.
You promised you wouldn't leave me... So why would you leave me? He had been crying almost as much as his bloodied and bruised wife at the time, and if it weren't for the fact that he'd had her forcefully pinned up against the door, she might have even felt sorry for him.
After a long period of silence, Nita stood up and left the room again, leaving her mum to figure out an answer that could only ever make sense to her.
"Because I have to." She finally whispered, with no one to listen.
It didn't take a radiologist for Kirsty to know that at least one of her ribs was fractured.
But as the beatings became more frequent, she found that she was unable to determine whether the bones had even had the time to begin their process of healing before Warren and his violent ways did something to injure them again.
Having broken ribs made pretty much everything a lot harder to do. Getting dressed, walking briskly and bending down to pick something up were all things that were agonisingly painful for her; so naturally being a nurse in an A&E Department during these times was a complete nightmare for her.
In a way, it almost pained Kirsty that her colleagues -bar Adam of course- were so ready to accept her lame and overused excuse that she'd 'pulled a muscle' time and time again, but with all the drama going on around them she felt she could hardly blame them for it.
Once or twice, she could have sworn that she'd noticed Tess watching her with a look on both concern and uncertainty on her face , as if she wanted to ask her fellow nurse something but was too unsure of whether her suspicions were correct to make the move.
A small part of Kirsty's mind almost wanted her to ask those questions, if only to know that someone other than Adam had actually noticed how badly she was broken. Then again, even if Tess did ask so much as how she was feeling, Kirsty would lie through her teeth to persuade her everything was as it should be.
Same as always.
Adam was starting to get very frustrated. Kirsty could claim that Warren was no longer beating her a hundred, a thousand, a million times; she could even swear it on her daughter's life and he still wouldn't believe her. He'd had a couple of fleeting glimpses of bruises on her arms when the sleeves of her shirt got caught on something, he couldn't help but notice all the hushed phone calls she seemed to be taking, and Tess had even had pulled him aside to ask if he had any idea of what was going on with her.
"I'd ask her myself, but we haven't always seen eye to eye with each other." She'd said grimly. "I doubt she'd open up to me, but I know that she's pretty close to you. I just thought I'd ask if she's told you anything I should be aware of?" The look of apprehension in her dark brown eyes penetrated Adam's, making him feel guilty for lying to her. But after reluctantly denying having any knowledge of Kirsty having problems at home, Adam promised Tess that he would keep an eye on her- while at the same time, promising himself that he would double his efforts to get the truth out of his friend.
"Hey, Kirsty!" Adam called as he saw the nurse heading for the staffroom. She groaned inwardly. Not again... She felt bad for treating Adam with such a cold demeanour when all he was trying to do was be nice and supportive, but the last time he'd tried to comfort her, it'd had disastrous consequences for her. Kirsty flinched at the painful memory of what her husband had done to her once he'd been discharged from the hospital.
"You've been sleeping with 'im, haven't yer?" Warren had roared right in her face. She'd cowered under his grasp, sobbing and begging him to let go; Nita was just upstairs.
"No!" She insisted. "I love you!" He let out a snort.
"Yeah, right! Well I hope it was worth it, because after what I'm gonna do to yer you're never gonna want to see him again!" She'd closed her eyes, a few more tears slipping through the defences. She'd begged, pleaded, prayed, and now
she was about to bleed.
"Yeah, Adam?" She replied weakly, a hint of irritation lingering in her voice. He looked around to see if anyone was close enough to hear their conversation.
"Look, I've just had a word with Tess, and-" She cut him off as panic started to rise in her stomach.
"What did you say to her?"
"Nothing, I-"
"You didn't tell her anything did you? I've told you so many times, nothing is happening with Warren!"
"Kirsty!" His voice was louder and sharper this time. She jumped slightly as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "I would never do that to you. Tess just wanted to know if you'd said anything to me about having problems."
"Problems? What problems?" He sighed.
"She's worried about you, Kirst. You may not have realised it but lots of people have noticed how strangely you've been acting recently." Then why didn't anyone say anything? She asked herself, the reality of it all tasting bitter in her mouth.
"But you didn't tell her anything?"
"No, of course not. Anyway, why are you still worried about it? If Warren really has changed then surely it wouldn't matter if they knew or not?" For a few minutes, Kirsty's mouth hung open and the look on her face suggested she was about to make a confession. Adam waited with baited breath.
"Because it still matters to me! It's just..." She looked down at the floor, eyes sparkling with tears. "I can't stand the thought of being thought of as a battered wife. It's demeaning, and it's not me! Okay?" He nodded silently, accepting her wishes but still not entirely convinced. Disappointment flooded through his bloodstream; he really had thought that she was about to tell him the truth.
As she turned to walk away, Kirsty heard a little voice at the back of her mind.
Liar. If you're not a battered wife, what are you?
Even as she turned her back on him, Adam could not help but notice the solitary tear that trickled down her cheek, leaving a silvery path for many more to follow in.
I will be the one that's gonna hold you,
I will be the one that you will run to,
My love is a burning,
Consuming fire...
A/N: And yet again I fail with the one-shot thing. Never mind, eh?
If you guys want me to continue, you're gonna have to review :D Sure, alert it if you want, but there's no point in doing that if you're not gonna leave me a couple of sentences with it. I know it can be annoying when people threaten not to continue without a certain amount of reviews, but I haven't really got time to be wasting on people who aren't grateful for it. So yeah, lemme know if you think it's good, crap, worth continuing, and while you're at it, what's your favourite colour?
Anyway, cheers for reading! Song is 'Whispers in the Dark' by my favourite ever band, Skillet :D I think it suits Adam and Kirsty perfectly.
Oh, and I know that in an episode a few weeks ago (just after Warren's death), Kirsty asked Adam not to mention anything about the abuse because she didn't want to be seen as a battered wife, but technically seeing as Warren didn't die in this then I haven't stolen it (:
