Robot Robbers Return
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife
The Beagle Boys had stolen lots of electronic stuff and a lot of scrap metal lately, but nothing really valuable. They were oblivious up to something, but what?
"Megabyte, just what are you doing anyway? You've been having us steal nothing but electronic whosits and lots and lots of junk metal for months now!" Big Time asked his brother.
"Do you remember those giant robots we stole from Flintheart Glomgold? I've been working on some giant robots of my own design- ones specially designed to steal stuff- like breaking into the MONEY BIN, for instance!" Megabyte explained.
"Oh! I gets it! Anything else you need?" Big Time asked.
"Just some peace and quiet, for now." Megabyte said and got back to work.
MEANWHILE... Mr. McDuck was in Launchpad's plane, with ME behide the wheel.
"Humfph. Launchpad would be too busy to fly me today." Mr. McDuck groused.
"Did I thank you for letting him accept that scholarship at the Duckburg Flying Academy, even if it means he's not always available? Even my Launchpad can't be two places at once. (1)So you're stuck with me, even if I'm not in Launchpad's league." I replied.
"Why not? Because you're a girl?" Mr. McDuck snorted.
"So's his sister and Loopy's in his league. It's not in my blood, in my soul. Launchpad's taught me how to fly a plane- even shared his love of flying with me- but it's like he's an artist and I'm a painter." I replied.
"Hmpf! You make him sound like a concert pianist!" Mr. McDuck sneered.
"Think "Victor Borge" and you're about right! Launchpad VERY good at what he does- he just does NOT take himself too seriously." I replied.
"Still can't believe that big lug got a full scholarship to the Duckburg Flying Academy!" Mr. McDuck muttered.
"He is NOT a lug and I'm glad I talked him into trying! I figured showing you how smart he is would work better towards gaining your respect." I began.
"So I pointed out he didn't have to TELL you if he tried and didn't make it. I knew he'd be accepted, I just didn't expect him to get a full scholarship, either." I continued.
"Even I underestimate Launchpad sometimes. He's NOT the slightest bit stupid. Disorganized, scatterbrained, flakey- yes. Just not stupid." I finished.
Meanwhile, back in Duckburg, knowing Mr. McDuck was out of town, the Beagle Boys took their new "toy" out of a trial run on the Money Bin! Megabyte wanted to wait until he had finished more than one, but he was out voted.
"It took you months to build one- and that was before the cops caught on to the fact we're stealing electronic stuff and metal instead of money! Now that the cops are on their guard, it's getting harder to steal the stuff you need! Besides, if one ain't enough, two or three won't be either!" Bigtime said.
Launchpad had just finished doing his part of a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" agreement. He was tutoring a fellow student in "what to do in an emergency landing" and fellow student was tutoring Launchpad in math.
It embarrasses Launchpad that he is not as good in math as a pilot is "supposed" to be. Never mind the pilots who are, usually aren't that great pilots. They either tend to do very little flying or else drain all the fun out of it. ANY job, no matter how cool, can be made dull by somebody who refuses to enjoy it.
Then, a LOUD noise made him look up. A giant robot in the shape of a two-legged dog came down the street. Everybody stared as it clumped down the middle of the street.
Then, being Duckburgians and therefore actually USED to that sort of thing (happens all the time, there!), they shrugged their shoulders and got back to business as usual. Launchpad noticed it was headed towards the Money Bin and somehow did NOT have to be Shedlock Jones (2) to deduce its business there!
Well, Launchpad made a beeline for one of the hangers he owns, one very tightly locked up. With good reason: the Thunderquack is inside it. I don't WANT to know what bad guys could do with that plane! Even if it's stupid looking.
I've TRIED to get Launchpad to at least paint it a different color now that he's no longer working with DW. (3)But Launchpad just points out his DAD wears a purple leather jacket, never mind purple was just a color with no significance in his Dad's heyday.
Launchpad flew the Thunderquack to the Money Bin, where Gizmoduck was already trying to fight Dogbot. After all, protecting the Money Bin is Gizmoduck's job.
"Hey, Giz- you mind if I help?" Launchpad asked.
"PLEASE! If you think I'm going to insist on fighting Dogbot here all by myself, you've got another thought coming!" Giz replied.
"All I know is DW would insist- and he doesn't have a supersuit like you do!" Launchpad said.
And Launchpad flew the Thunderquack right over Dogbot and dumped water all over it. Didn't even slow it down.
"It was worth a try."(4) Launchpad said.
Then Gizmoduck said:"My turn!"
Gizmoduck tried to take advantage of the fact that Dogbot was sopping wet. Giz tried to electrocute it, but Dogbot just fed the electricity right back at Giz. It was all Giz could do to absorb the electricity before it could fry innocent bystanders.
"Attention Gentlemen! This is Duckworth in the Money Bin's office. I am taking control of the Money Bin's defenses to fight off our electronic foe. I suggest you keep your heads up so I do not injure you by accident." Duckworth's voice, via a loudspeaker said.
"Hey, Duckworth! Let us do that!" three familiar voices peeped.
"Master Huey! Master Dewey! Master Louie! I will NOT allow three ten year olds to control dangerous weapons. You can control the booby traps, if you like. I only have two hands and they are quite full trying to figure out these controls!" Duckworth said.
"Ah, Duckworth! We do this sort of thing in our video games all the time!" Huey objected.
"That is make believe. This is real. I have seen you miss in your video games and hit unintended targets. If you do that now, you might hit Launchpad or Gizmoduck and I am quite sure you do not wish to do that!" Duckworth replied.
So Duckworth fired weapons at Dogbot and the Trins triggered off various booby traps around it. This prevented Dogbot from opening the Money Bin like an overgrown piggy back, but did NOT prevent it from trying to break in.
Gizmoduck flew via his helmet copter to Dogbot's head and broke in, thinking the Beagle Boys were driving the thing.
"It's a robot! Operated by remote control with nobody inside it!" Giz screamed.
"Well, at least then we don't have to worry about hurting the Beagle Boys!" Launchpad said.
"No, but we do have to worry about this thing killing us!" Giz replied.
"I got an idea- as long as you're in there; maybe we can destroy it from the inside? I got Dr. Sara Bellum's Ultra sonic digger (5) built inside this baby. If I dig into it, do you think you can follow the beam and wreck the Dogbot?" Launchpad asked.
"If I keep pulling out wires and electronic whatsits long enough, sure!" Giz replied.
"Launchpad! If we use the booby traps to hold Dogbot still, will that help?" the Trins asked.
"Sure will! Launchpad answered.
"Duckworth! Keep aiming your weapons at Dogbot's arms- so it's too busy defecting them to swat the Thunderquack or reach in to grab me!" Giz said.
"Very well. And good luck, gentlemen. His grumpiness would be quite perturbed to hear that the Money Din was robbed on my watch!" Duckworth replied.
So our heroes cooperated- the Trins used one of their great-uncle's booby-traps to nab Dogbot's legs and hold them. Duckworth aimed his weapons at Dogbot's arms, which kept too busy to swat the Thunderquack, grab Gizmoduck - or free itself of the clamps holding its legs still.
Launchpad drilled in with the digger, Giz followed the beam, pulling out every wire and part in sight. Then Dogbot did the unexpected. It tried to reach for the weapons firing at it- but they were just barely out of its reach. Its body and head sheared off from its legs and fell with a thud!
"I should have known one of LAUNCHPAD'S plans would end with SOMETHING crashing!" Giz joked.
"You shouldn't tease somebody who has an ultra-sonic digger aimed towards you!" joked back Launchpad.
And even as Dogbot's head and body tried to pick itself up by its arms, Launchpad used the digger to slice off one arm and then the other. Arms, head and body and legs wriggled helplessly- then Giz threw some sort of bomb that blew the sections into pieces small enough for the Trins to play with.
"That takes care of Dogbot- but how do we find the Beagle Boys behide it?" Giz asked.
"Well- we COULD backtrack the king-size footprints that thing made coming here!" Launchpad suggested.
"Where were my brains that I didn't think of that?" Giz asked nobody in particular.
So...they followed the tracks, and found the Beagle Boys...but not before the cops did! They too, saw the tracks and raided the place- (6) and collared the Beagle Boys.
And when "his grumpiness" aka Mr. McDuck got home, he used the pieces of Dogbot to make Dogbot and Thunderquack toys that he sold for a lovely profit.
The End.
(1) or maybe he can. See PHENOMENON by Quiver, even if it didn't quite happen that way. Friend, Launchpad's flown pontoon planes. Of course he knows what a pontoon boat is.
I think shortly after "Phenomenon", Launchpad went back to working for Mr. McDuck.
(2) Wasn't he a character in "Disney" comic books? They said he was an honorary Jr. Woodchuck and he looked sorta familiar...
(3) Thank God. I was so scared that purple pantywaist was going to get my Launchpad killed. And I wouldn't blame the bad guy, neither. I'd blame DW. Heck, I'd kill him with my bare hands.
Disney can bring back DW WITHOUT Launchpad. And if Disney brings back Ducktales with Launchpad -as a True Hero, not a moron- I promise not to talk mean about DW anymore.
I'm even up for a VERY occasional Ducktales/DW crossover and a more common "borrowing" of Bad Guys- like Tuskernini popping up in Ducktales and Magica Despell popping up in DW, that sort of thing.
(4) So how come that STILL worked for Gumby in "Gumby the movie"?
Kindly forgive free plug for the competion, Disney, but THEY made a movie of a cartoon a LOT older than Ducktales and did so PERFECTLY.
(5) And that's just ONE of the multi-numerous "toys" built into the Thunderquack. Considering the trouble the Beagles caused in "Top Duck" with just the ultra-sonic digger, I don't WANT to know what bad guys could do with the Thunderquack itself.
(6)And I don't want to know what would have happened to those poor cops if Dogbot made it back in one piece!
