A/N: Here I am with another CSI: New York fic! No SMacked this time, but I hope you'll like what I have to offer here, too! Let me know what you think! Even if you hate it! Just tell me why! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated!
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Else, I'd be a lot richer.
Don Flac was standing outside the door, looking in through the small window. His heart nearly broke when he saw Stella close her eyes and bite her bottom lip as the doctors began to examine her.
He turned away, knowing every one of her injuries had to be photographed and documented. The last thing he wanted to do, was violate her privacy. That son of a bitch Frankie Mala had done enough of that already.
His mind returned to what had transpired before. He was unable to stop it, for some reason. The images flashing before his eyes forced him to stumble towards a chair and sit down.
When Flac had burst into the house and found Frankie's dead body laying on the floor, he hadn't even stopped. The officers behind him could take care of him. The only thought on his mind had been to find Stella as soon as possible.
Since she wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, he decided to narrow the possibilities even further. He sent two men into what he discovered to be the spare bedroom and pushed open the door leading to the bathroom.
The blood in the bathtub had him thinking of the scenarios of bad horror movies. Fear of everything that might have happened to her began to grip at his heart even worse, his hands began to shake. What kind of injuries had she sustained? Was this all the blood she'd lost, or was there more? Was she even alive anymore?
Leaving the room, he heard something. It was so soft he would have missed it if he'd been paying any less attention. A soft whimper, barely audible.
"Stella?" he called out.
It wouldn't do to burst into the room she was in. Not after everything she'd been through tonight.
There was no answer other than another small whimper. But he was sure she was there. She was alive.
"I'm coming in, alright Stell?" he asked, using the nickname he had given her all those years ago.
Pushing against the door, he noticed it wouldn't open. He realized she had barricaded herself in.
"Stell, you're going to have to let me in. I promise I won't hurt you," he said.
He heard the sound of movement inside the room. He was glad to know she was able to walk. At least her injuries might not be as bad as he had thought they might be.
She was a complete mess. Her hands were covered in blood. Looking at her still bleeding fingertips, he deduced that the blood was only hers. She had an angry bruise on her left cheek. Her eye was blue, too.
Flac noticed she was swaying on her legs. That came as no surprise to him after the stress he was sure she'd been under, and the fact she wasn't using her right ankle at all.
"It's okay, I've got you," he whispered when she lost her balance and stumbled against him.
He noticed how she tensed for a moment before relaxing and clinging to him as if he were her lifeline. That bastard was going to pay for what he had done, even if he was dead already.
"I've found her!" Flac called out to the other agents.
He could hear how they ceased searching the premises. This was no longer their crime scene. The CSI's would be coming in to collect the evidence Frankie had left behind later. And probably to clean up. They wouldn't want Stella to come back to an apartment covered in blood.
"Come on, let's get out of here. You need to get yourself looked at," he whispered.
Stella nodded against his shoulder weakly, but didn't move. She was obviously in shock, and in pain.
"I'm carrying you, alright? I know you probably don't like me touching you right now, but we've got to get you into the ambulance," he apologized.
But instead of shying away as he had expected she would, she simply buried her head in his neck and allowed him to carry her out without a fuss. When they passed the other agents, he noticed how her grip on him tightened and that she tried getting even closer to him.
The ambulance officers had tried taking her out of his arms to place her onto the stretcher. But she had simply thrown both of her arms around his neck and refused to let him go.
"I'll put her on there. And I'm coming with her," Flac said, in a definitive tone.
And now, he was here in hospital with her. She had asked him not to leave her alone upon arriving, so he had held her hand while they rolled her into the building and up to the room she was currently in.
Not that he wouldn't have stayed if she hadn't asked. He hadn't been willing to leave her side as it was. But her asking was an acknowledgement she still trusted him. Which was a good thing considering the circumstances.
"Detective?"
Flac looked up. The nurse that was calling for him was poking her head around the door leading to Stella's room.
"Yeah?" he said.
As the nurse spoke, she motioned for him to come closer.
"She wants to see you," the woman said.
By the amount of anxiety he had seen in her eyes right before the doctors had asked him to leave, he should have know this was coming. But the doctors hadn't left yet. So what was going on?
Flac stepped inside, hoping to get an answer to his question.
Stella had pulled the blankets up to her chin. Her knuckles were white with the force she was using to keep them there. The doctors were standing almost against the wall to give her some space.
Her eyes followed his every move without blinking as he walked towards the bed, her breathing quicker and more shallow than usual.
"Hey there," Flac whispered when was right beside her.
She extended a hand, which he immediately took. She pulled him closer whilst looking at him pleadingly.
"What's wrong, Stell?" Flac asked.
She didn't answer, pulling him onto the bed and hiding her face in his clothes. She did not release her grip on the blankets.
"I'm scared," she admitted in a barely audible voice.
Flac looked at the doctors. One of them slowly nodded to let him know they had seen it as well. There was nothing but sympathy in the man's eyes, which told Flac they had stopped right away.
"We're really sorry. Normally we would have gotten a female doctor, but none of them are on duty. And we all know this needs to happen as soon as possible," he apologized.
He nodded. The last thing Stella needed right now was a couple of men trying to photograph her. Yet they were right, the evidence was disappearing with every minute that passed.
He squeezed her hand lightly, drawing her attention away from whatever dark place she was in.
"Would you like me to stay? Or even take the pictures?" he asked her.
The relieve shining from her eyes told him she was more than grateful for the offer. And aware of the fact he was her friend and would do nothing to hurt her.
"Stay. You could get in trouble for taking the pictures," she said in a raspy voice.
He realized she was hoarse from screaming from the abuse she had suffered at the hands of her ex-lover.
The doctors came forward again, the one who had spoken before lifting his camera.
"We'll work our way down. That way it'll be easier on you. And if you want us to stop at any time, all you have to do is say the word," he told her.
Stella closed her eyes as they began to photograph her face. She clutched Flac's hand so hard it was almost painful. But there wasn't a single cell in his body that thought about telling her to release her grip. She needed him. He was going to be there for her.
But his motives weren't exactly all about the woman in the bed, if he were completely honest. However repulsing that may sound.
Flac was in love with Stella. He had been for some years now, but the fact she had been with Frankie had made his push that thought away. And the way she and Mac continually flirted had made his create a wall around his feeling way before that. If she wanted to be with Mac, and he was interested in her, then who was he to stop that?
But lately, things hadn't been going so great between the two. Just a few weeks back, they had gotten into a fight at work. If he hadn't come in and asked Stella to accompany him to an interview, he wasn't sure where the fight would have let to.
"All done," the doctor said softly.
Stella hid underneath the blankets again, visibly content to be freed of the inquisitive stares she had been forced to undergo for the past hour.
Flac couldn't believe he had been so lost in thoughts for so long. He shook his head lightly, clearing his thoughts. He couldn't possibly tell her he loved her now, could he?
The doctors left, promising to return and see to her wounds again in an hour. If everything went well, she should be able to go home in a week. Going to work was a different story, but Flac knew she'd find a way to go back sooner than anyone could possibly expect. She never gave up, and the fire in her eyes, although almost extinct, told him she wasn't going to start now.
"Should I call anybody for you? Mac, maybe?" he asked when they were alone.
Stella was quiet for a second before replying. Flac noticed that, and wondered what made her think about what to say next.
"No. Danny had Lindsay, they'll be fine together. Mac and I are best friends, but he's probably too angry to say anything useful right now. In a couple of days, he'll come and visit. No, I'll be fine as long as you're here," she said.
Flac's heart was beating more rapidly than it ever had. Stella had no idea what those words meant to him, he was sure of it. And he was finding it increasingly hard not to tell her.
Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door. He looked at Stella, who nodded.
"Come in," Flac said.
It was Danny. He was pale, and obviously worried. Flac knew it probably hurt Danny to see Stella like this, but that he had needed to come and see her to believe she was going to be okay.
"I'll give the two of you a minute," he said, making to get up.
Stella nodded her thanks, still holding onto him. She only let go when he was too far away from the bed to be able to cling to his hand any longer.
"I'll be right outside," he promised.
With one last gesture of his hand, he stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.
Flac was glad for the few minutes Danny was buying him. All he'd wanted to do when Stella had pulled him onto the side of the bed, was put his arms around her and hug her close, tell her everything was going to be fine. But considering the circumstances, that was probably the last thing she'd want him to do. And he wasn't sure how long he'd manage to fight that urge.
As distracted as he was, he nearly collided with Sid. Apparently, they medical examiner had accompanied Danny. Flac wondered for a second why he wasn't in the room with him.
"Hi, Flac," Sid said.
Flac smiled a little. Sid was as in control as ever, which was a good thing. He would keep the team in line with Mac.
"Hi. Are you here with Danny, or did you guys arrive separately?" he asked, starting the conversation.
Sid motioned to a couple of chairs, indicating he would like to sit down to continue their talk. Flac sank down unceremoniously. With the adrenaline gone, he was feeling a little tired.
"In came with him. I wouldn't let him drive. Lindsay offered, too, but she was even worse than Danny," Sid said.
It wasn't at all hard to imagine that. Lindsay and Stella had always been pretty close. Danny had always liked to rile the both of them up a little, but they were amazing friends. Those two would need each other, and Stella would need all of them.
"Flac?"
That one words brought Flac back to the present conversation. He rubbed his eyes harshly. Damn, he was getting more and more distracted.
"Sorry, I was a million miles away for a second," he apologized.
Sid looked at him intensely. Flac was feeling a little uncomfortable under that gaze. It nearly was as if Sid would look right into his soul and see what he had been hiding for so long.
"I thought you were only a couple of feet away," Sid spoke, indicating the door behind which Stella was laying.
Flac realized they were indeed only four feet away from her, and that Sid had a point. Should he talk to him about all of this? Sid had known Stella for a long time now, and he knew her just as well as Mac did.
He sighed. If he kept it bottled up, it wouldn't do him any good. And who would be a better choice to talk to? Sid would keep his secret. He was one of Stella's most trusted friends.
"Yeah, you're right. I was in there," he said, making the same motion with his head Sid had before.
Sid didn't begin to press for information, for which Flac was really grateful. He was finding it hard enough to finally say this out loud as it was.
"When I had her in my arms, covered in blood and in pain... It broke my heart, Sid..."
Flac felt Sid place his hand on his arm. A small reminder that he wasn't alone in this. That they were in this fight together.
"It broke all of our heart, Don," Sid said, using his given name.
Flac shook his head. He needed Sid to understand.
"No, Sid. I mean it broke my heart. If she hadn't killed Frankie, I would have. Because of what he had done to the woman I love," Flac said.
Silence fell between them. But contradictory to what Flac had believed, the silence wasn't uncomfortable or hostile.
Sid was looking at him carefully now. Almost as if he was trying to see something nobody else could see.
"Have you told her that? That you love her, I mean," Sid asked.
Flac shook his head, resting it in his hands afterwards. Now that he had said it, he felt like such a fool. All of those years she had been beside him. He had had so many opportunities to tell her how he felt, and he'd let them all slip by without doing anything.
"I thought she was in love with Mac. And then there was Frankie. And I can't tell her now, can I?" he said.
The older man smiled a little at his words, though Flac had no idea why.
"I think you should," Sid told him.
Flac looked at him, his mouth slightly ajar. Was he being serious, or making a fool out of him?
"She's not into Mac. She never was. They're friends, they care for one another, but they're not into each other. She's not into me or Sheldon. Danny likes Lindsay, and she likes him back They just don't know it themselves, yet. So there's nothing in your way," Sid said.
Nothing in his way? That was not entirely true, now, was it?
"After what's just happened, I don't think she'll be interested in a boyfriend anytime soon," Flac told Sid.
At that moment, Danny stepped out of the room. His whole demeanour was more composed. He looked a lot more like the Danny Flac saw on an almost daily basis. Which was a soothing thought.
"You never know," Sid said.
And he got up, leaving a stunned Flac sitting on the chair and taking an equally confused Danny with him.
Flac knew he had to get into the room again. He couldn't leave Stella in there on her own, not now she was so scared. But it would feel like betraying her already fragile trust if he didn't tell her what he'd just told Sid.
He pushed himself up. If this was going to happen, it was going to happen now. Whatever came next, he'd deal with it.
"Hi. I'm back," he said upon stepping in.
Instead of stepping back towards the bed, he leaned against the door.
Stella was seemingly a bit more comfortable now. The blanket was still tightly tucked in around her, but she wasn't pulling it up to her chin anymore. And her grip on the blanket was a lot less tight, he noticed.
"You're not coming to sit with me?" she asked.
The small voice she spoke in made him think of a child. A child that had gotten hurt and needed comfort that nobody was willing to give.
"Not before I tell you something. It wouldn't feel right. I'd feel like I was betraying you," he told her softly.
The open approach worked, it seemed. Stella cocked an eyebrow at him, the blanket she'd still been holding onto before now forgotten and her hands beginning to fold in her lap.
Flac took a deep breath to calm his raging nerves. He'd better do this the right way. If this was his only chance, he was not going to blow it the way he'd blow all of the other chances he'd been given.
"When I was carrying you out of your house, I realized something. I've been a real fool, Stell, all of these years. I could have lost you today. I could have lost you, and I would never have said anything."
She was looking at him, her inquisitive eyes taking in his every movement he was making.
There was a silence between them, Flac trying to figure out how to say those three little words that had such a great meaning.
"Said anything about what?" she asked eventually.
He closed his eyes for a second, composing himself.
"About the fact I love you," he admitted.
Again, silence. Although the echo of the words he'd just spoken was still reverberating through the room.
One of her hands came up, extended towards him. Without thinking, he grabbed it, allowing her to pull him towards her.
"You really do love me. I can see it in your eyes," she said when he was next to her on the bed again.
A soft smile was gracing her face. Her entire posture had changed. Some of the tension had drained from her muscles.
Flac realized she had wanted to hear those words. The only thing he hoped, was that she'd wanted to hear those words from him.
"Of course I do, Stell. You're strong, beautiful, smart. You're everything that's good. You make the people around you better people by just being you. How can I not really love you?" he asked her.
She leaned into him, resting her head against his chest. Flac did not put his arms around her straight away, fearing he might be pushing boundaries then. Instead, he touched her head with his chin lightly.
She did not flinch or pull away. She remained where she was, content to be close to him. And he was glad to let her have control.
"Did I ever tell you why I broke up with Frankie?" she suddenly asked.
Flac had no idea where that question came from. Or why she was asking him that. But he had the feeling this was important, so he was not going to question it. He simply answered.
"The only thing you ever said was that he was strange. A different man than you thought he was," he said.
Stella nodded, still laying against him.
"But there was another reason. A big one, even. Bigger than the strangeness or him being totally different than I'd thought he'd be," she said.
That was something completely unexpected, if Flac were honest. But then again, he had noticed she was keeping something back when talking about Frankie. Would this be it?
Resting his chin on her head again, he waited for her to continue.
"I was in love with someone else. With you," she softly admitted.
Those words took his breath away. She had left that creep for him? He was sure there was an ear splitting grin on his face, but he really didn't care.
She chuckled when she looked up at him and saw the aforementioned grin. He decided if it made her smile, he would make sure that goody grin appeared on his face at least once a day from now on.
Stella tried to hide it, but the yawn bubbling up was too strong.
"Come on. It's been a tiring day. You should rest a little," Flac whispered to her.
She took a long look at him before turning on her side and pulling him down by his hand.
"What are you doing?" he asked, the smile on his face evident in his words.
"Trying to sleep, as you said I should. But I'm not doing that without you," she told him.
When she turned on her other side and pillowed her head on his chest, there was not a bone in his body that thought about complaining. On the contrary, he thought that he might actually sleep better than he ever had whilst being used as a pillow. Her pillow, that was.
