A/N – So I love Derek Laws by agentdouble0negative2 and Sheriff Laws by HalfDrunkMonkey, and I decided to do Stiles Laws. I want to point out that I was majorly (made up a word, such is the power of chaos) inspired by these two and their wonderful creative exploration of one of the more fascinating pairings in Teen Wolf, and I would never have thought of any of this without them. Please read (and review) their work!

"Behold, the fearsome Alpha werewolf!" Stiles thought as he watched Derek sprawled out all over Stiles bed in just his boxer briefs (black, of course), face down with an arm hanging to the floor and snoring to wake the dead. The bed looked like it was the site of a gang initiation that got out of control. There was absolutely no room for Stiles anywhere in his own bed, and this was in direct violation to Stiles Law # 3: 'Stiles' bed is his Sacred Place, and must always be ready to receive his Holiness should he choose to respire there'. Stiles took out his Blues Clues notepad and oversized pencil (the Sacred Recording Instruments of Stiles Laws) and added a subsection to one of the tiny areas of paper not already filled with his Commandments.

'In the event someone violates Law # 3, Stiles gets to sleep wherever he wants.'

He stripped down to his own Scooby Doo boxers, yanked the twisted sheets and blankets off of Derek to untie them, and then lay down on top of the Alpha.

"Oof, oh, ugh…Stiles, what the hell are you doing?" came the drugged sounding voice of the Foul Profaner of Sacred Places, Derek Hale.

"Stiles Law # 3. You took over my bed, now you ARE my bed…for eternity!" spake Stiles.

"Your bed is about to eat you, Stiles." Derek growled ominously.

"That's in direct violation of Stiles Law # 2! 'Stiles shall remain uneaten by any member of the Hale Pack, though love bites are allowed with permission of His Holiness."

Derek groaned in mock despair. "I don't like your Laws. Who gave you the idea for them anyway?"

"You and my Dad. His Holiness is sleepy. We can resume discussions at the next Pack meeting, if you remember to put it on the Agenda."

Stiles wondered if Derek remembered Stiles Law # 1: 'All of Stiles Laws may not be altered without permission from Stiles, which he will never give, so there.'

Derek groaned again, feeling like the subject of the famous painting "The Nightmare" by Fuseli, which featured a woman reposing on a bed with a little demon sitting on her chest. If Fuseli could see into this bedroom, the demon would have had Stiles' face. Not thinking he would ever get to sleep, he found himself focusing on Stiles heartbeat and the shared warmth of their bodies, which served to lull him to sleep faster than usual. Derek's consciousness was whipped away like a rag in a tornado, and he woke up the next morning feeling incredible. Thereafter, the arrangement became permanent.

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Stiles Law # 12 came into play after Scott injured Stiles while they wrestled out on the lawn. Scott had Stiles in a headlock when Stiles resorted to tickling (forbidden, along with using wolf strength) in order to escape. Scott shoved him away, and Stiles left foot landed in a gopher hole, twisting his ankle pretty badly.

Derek 'accidentally' face planted Scott into the side of Stiles' Jeep when he found out, but his feelings of anger and protectiveness turned to fear when he saw Stiles pull the Sacred Recording Instruments from his knapsack.

Derek lunged for him, but Stiles had already locked himself in the Jeep and was scribbling madly. Derek roared in frustration when Stiles emerged and showed him the newly drafted Law.

'While Stiles recovers from his injury, Derek shall transport Stiles on his shoulders, where he shall make his wishes known from on high. Derek will serve as transport on special occasions even when His Holiness recovers.

At the next Pack Meeting…

"I mean it! Scott, Jackson…no more rough-housing with Stiles! If he gets hurt again, I will nail your pelts to the wall!"

Jackson and Scott were in hysterics, Lydia and Allison were crowing with laughter. Derek was barking out these orders with Stiles sitting regally on his shoulders, sometimes wobbling madly while Derek paced back and forth before the Pack.

Derek let out a loud sigh.

"Sty…I think this Law is ruining my credibility as Alpha."

Stiles rolled his eyes.

"Fine. You are excused from your duty for Pack Meetings."

"Thank you, your Holiness." Said Derek though clenched fangs.

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Derek got home later than usual from his Saturday night bouncer job, stuck with an extra shift and smarting from a dressing down he got from his boss after Derek 'bounced' someone pretty hard. Derek was on the point of bouncing his boss when he thought of Stiles, and the help this job was going to be for the young man's college fund. He apologized and went to the home he shared with Stiles and the Sheriff.

He thought of his mate with a huge smile on his face during the trip home, which promptly turned into a fierce scowl when he saw a sticky on the bedroom door.

"Derek, a new Law has been drafted (# 20) and entered onto the Sacred Instruments. His Holiness has decreed that when Derek returns home after Stiles' bedtime, Derek will be responsible for the cooking and cleaning up of His Holiness' breakfast the next morning.' Stiles will dine at 7:30 am. Stiles wants pancakes, and we're out of them, so you'll have to go to the store before Stiles wakes up. Love, His Holiness, Stiles.

Derek looked at the clock. It was 5:30 am. He was bone tired, and would have to stay up just to go to the store and have breakfast ready on time. Derek's eyes bled reddish light, and his teeth and claws grew with his fury. The Alpha wanted its breakfast right now…Stiles-burgers, with some Holy horseradish on the side. Derek opened the door with an inhuman paw and stalked towards the bed with the innocent looking boy fast asleep on top of it. There in his hands, he clutched the Sacred Instruments…Derek grinned an evil wolfish smile. Tomorrow, it would look like it snowed in the room from the thousands of paper shreds Derek was going to make out of them, and Stiles would see what Derek Hale thought of his stupid Laws. A clawed finger lifted the notepad up…sheer morbid curiosity made Derek read what was on the page before he got started. Three rules occupied the page, the first one about cooking breakfast. Derek scanned the other two, and he promptly shifted human while his eyes started to sting with unshed tears.

Stiles Law # 21: 'With the exception of this Law and the one that follows, Stiles Laws are suspended on Sundays, so that Stiles can return the wonderful treatment he gets from his favorite Alpha werewolf, His Unholy Majesty…Derek Hale.

Stiles Law # 22: 'Stiles will love Derek forever.'

Derek gently placed the Sacred Instruments on the nightstand, and got undressed as quietly as he could. Stiles took up very little of the bed, so Derek spooned into him and held him close while he pulled the blankets over them. As he dropped off to sleep, he wondered what His Holiness would be making him for breakfast that afternoon.