This is my newest fic, not a one shot this time. It's like a collection of the song-fic-oneshots that I've posted, only the chapters have a common plot.
It follows from Tommy to Jude, right after he leaves. It's basically after the season finale where we find out that Tommy's in Montana with... well I don't know what the girl is to him on the show. (I won't say what it is here because I'm thinking of using part of a chapter to explain it.) I really hope you all like it, it's like my little sad baby, lol.
It's way different from Bang Theory, I don't think there's even one pop-culture reference. SHOCK AND AWE, lol, sorry. So here's chapter 1, This Love. It starts with Tommy's flashback to when he saw Jude last. I scattered the lyrics to the Maroon 5 song within the chapter but the meaning of the lyrics is way different. Ok I'll stop, but I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I don't Instant Star or the lyrics to This Love.
This love
"Tommy?" She pounded her fists against the window of Tommy's car. He looked over at her for a fleeting moment, feeling the waves of desperation of hysteria throttle him. His eyes bore into her, absorbing the pain that visibly coursed through her until all he could bring himself to do was push his foot to the pedal. His shoe made easy contact while he heard the wounded cries of the girl he never wanted to hurt. Pound. Pound. Pound. Her fists made violent contact with the glass of his windows, enough to shatter. But they held as Tommy pushed his foot further into the pedal and sped off into hovering night. "Tom!" He heard her one last attempt to bring him back. He turned his head, wishing to memorize all of her before he left. But he lifted his eyes to see a Jude that he would never want to remember. He saw a Jude that he broke. One that couldn't see past her pain so she fell into it's infinite well. A Jude that gave up and gave in, to the sadness and pain that instantly consumed and smothered.
Has taken its toll on meHe watched tears slip from her eyes and trail down her cheeks and across her jaw. Even from his distance he saw one stray tear tantalizing and tickling the edge of her jaw, waiting to fall and plummet across her soft skin, but holding on. "Tommy!" rang out past the busy night. The tear swayed against her redden skin.
And her heart
Not knowing it was possible, he rammed his foot further into the floor, the car lurching with him. Before he blazed off into an endless night, the tear fell.
He lay against the pillow he had propped up earlier. He felt sleep coming to cradle him in its caressingly forgetful arms, hovering slightly past his eyelids and teetering mightily against his thoughts. He slipped his eyes closed for a moment, only to see her watching him through the flutter of his eyelids.
Is breaking in front of meHe recognized the familiar image of her and he felt himself tense immeasurably as her image flashed a smile. He forced his eyes closed more tightly, trying to memorize the contours of her smile. The sadness flashed through her eyes and connected with his mind's eye made his tears begin to well again. The tears soaked away, blurring his view of her. He felt the image flicker away gently to the folds of his heart and the crevices of his pain like the crackling flames that licked the roaring fire before melting away into the ashes that consumed the dirty base.
I have no choice He let his head fall against the pillow, feeling the wood of the headboard pound against his scalp lightly. He watched the little girl breathing rhythmically. He watched the teddy bear she clutched dearly rise with her steady inhales and fall with her steady exhales. He listened to her breath hitch at every inhale as her reminiscent hiccups snuck through her nose and forcefully resounded through her small belly. He felt adrenaline pump through to the core of his bones, afraid of the threatening tears that always seemed so close to her lashes. Cause I won'tHe flopped his back the other way, seeing his cell phone stare back. He reached across numbly, grasping the antenna. He flipped it open carefully, placing one hand at the base as the other guided the top up slowly. He looked back at the image that made tears waver in his throat painfully. It was a still and standing shred of proof of the precious moments he had with her. It halted a moment in the ticking hours of time where they revealed in each other's company, only too afraid to admit it.
Say goodbye anymoreIt was captured then only to look back at him now. He knew her number; he knew the speed dial. But he searched through his phonebook, scrolling through the faceless names that had become only frozen words before his eyes. He finally highlighted the name that still seemed to follow him, with a face that haunted and pursued his dreams.
I'll fix theseShe sniffed loudly next to him, making him jump and loose his grip on his phone. She snuggled closer to her bear, like it was her only lifeline. It took him back to when Jude clutched to him with such need. He absently wondered what she would do now. He followed the path his thoughts led him across and found himself staring back at the haunting question he had avoided since he watched the tears leaking from her eyes.
Broken thingsWhat would he do now? He shook himself again and wrapped a tender arm around the small girl. Her eyes were suddenly open and alert. She stared at him for a quiet moment. Her gaze shifted between his open arms and his quiet face. She breathed in once more, safety and comfort visibly calming her.
Make sure everything's
She latched a small hand across two of his fingers. The little girl drifted to sleep once more as her grip loosened around the teddy bear's neck and her grasp tightening around Tommy. He lay down next to her as her curly mess of hair tickled his neck. He inhaled the mingling scents of the blazing fire, of winter's sneaking air, and his burning tears.
All right
Silence consumed the room and the air between the two. Tommy lay still for continually passing moments as he watched the ashy cinders dissolve and fizzle under the powering flames in the fireplace. He turned his head slowly to see the whistling wind battling against the falling, frozen, wintry petals through the wooden panes of the window. He shut his eyes again, watching Jude's face shine past the tears that he couldn't seem to cry away. Sleep knocked once more against the image, as she slipped away under the weight and Tommy let himself succumb to the beautiful numbness of sleep.
This love has taken it's toll on me
