It was rare that Kyo would watch television. His mother had never allowed it when he was younger, and the mentality that watching television was bad had stuck with him all through the years. Not that he still thought he would be punished if he were caught; he knew he wouldn't. But, he had grown so used to not watching shows and movies that he almost didn't want to.
Except at three o'clock in the morning when he couldn't sleep.
Kyo wasn't worried about waking up for school in the morning; it was Friday- or rather, it was now Saturday- and so, there was no school the next day. He just couldn't sleep, and nothing was working. He'd done a few quick crunches to try and tire his body out, but that only further woke him up. He had lain in bed for hours, just staring at the ceiling, he had even read a little. But nothing worked.
And so, at three a.m., Kyo found himself journeying downstairs to watch some late night television. After flipping through the channels for a few minutes, Kyo had settled on some obscure American film.
The film proved to be a bad choice. He had come in halfway through it, and the plot was confusing enough, from what he could tell, without the subtitles and him missing the first half.
By the end of the movie, Kyo was almost upset at himself for choosing to watch it- and continue the film until the end. But, that wasn't bothering so much as a line from the movie did: every living creature on this earth dies alone.
It was eerie, how true and how depressing it sounded. Even those who died in hospitals, with family all around them, they were alone, alone with their thoughts and alone with their pain.
The more he thought about it, the more the line disturbed him. Every living creature on this earth dies alone. It was just so…real and so terrifying. The thought of letting everyone he cared for die alone, it didn't sit well with him. That Kazuma would die alone. That Tohru would die alone.
He would die alone, as well.
And…he knew he would. He had, somewhere in the back of his mind, known that he would die alone; he just hadn't been fully aware of it. He knew that the time would come for him to be locked away, into that small house where everything was so silent, so eerie and cold. He would live there, alone, until he died. And, he would die alone; no one would be able to visit, no one would want to visit. There would only be him and his memories.
And that churned his stomach.
He was afraid of being alone, a fear sparked by that very building meant just for him. He would go mad in there.
Mad, and alone in the silence of that horrifying building.
He'd never fall asleep now, what with these ideas buzzing around his head.
Kyo was jerked out of his thoughts and fears by the sound of feet softly walking along the kitchen's linoleum floor, and then the paper door slid open. It was Tohru, in a Mogeta tee-shirt that came down to her knees, serving as her pajamas.
"Kyo-kun," she said softly and sleepily, "what're you doing awake?"
"I couldn't sleep," Kyo said just as quietly. "Did I wake you?"
"I, uh, heard noises downstairs," Tohru said, rubbing her eyes a little. "I wasn't sure what it was, so I thought I'd go see…."
"Stupid, don't investigate strange sounds by yourself!" Kyo replied, snapping a little. "I could've been a burglar or something; next time you hear something, wake one of- wake me up first."
Tohru nodded, and glanced at the television. "What were you watching?" she asked, as credits were rolling up the screen.
"Some stupid American movie," he said, trying not to let his thoughts return to that one quote.
"Oh." Tohru yawned, covering her mouth as she did so.
"Go back to sleep," Kyo told her, suddenly feeling guilty about waking her up.
"Are you going to bed soon?"
"Soon," he agreed.
She gave him a small smile, and sat beside him at the low table. "Then I'll stay up with you until you do."
"Are you sure?"
Tohru nodded sleepily, but gave him another smile. "What was the movie about?"
"I couldn't even begin to tell you. It was confusing as hell, and I missed half of it…." Kyo trailed off, thinking once more of the film.
….dies alone…
Was it really true? Kyo desperately wanted it not to be; it was too horrible of a thought, and would be far too horrible of a reality.
"Kyo-kun? Are you okay?" Tohru was looking at him with a concerned look on her face.
He was going to tell her everything was just fine. He almost wished he had said that. Instead, what came out was, "Do you think everyone dies alone?"
Immediately after saying that, Kyo regretted it. The last thing he wanted to do was to remind Tohru of her mother's death.
Her answer surprised him. "No," she said confidently. She paused a minute, looking at him. "No, I don't think so. Mom said once that having the memories of a person is almost as good as being with that person, and that as long as we remember them, we-we're with them. If-if you forget everyone, then you'll really be alone. As long as we have our memories, we're never truly alone. At least that's what Mom said," she added, her cheeks becoming flushed a little. "And I believe it, because when I think of Mom, it's like she's still with me."
Tohru gave him a small smile, as she always did. And, Kyo returned it, but only for a moment. This…this way of thinking was much better than how he'd been thinking, and while he wasn't sure if he believed it, he definitely preferred it to what the movie said.
He put his hand on hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Let's go to bed," he said, sure that he could sleep now with those thoughts calmed down.
For now, he wouldn't be alone.
I hope you guys enjoyed this!
(oh, and there's a special secret prize for the first person who correctly guesses the title of the movie that Kyo watched!)
Please leave some constructive criticisms.
