Princess Diaries – Alternate Universe

Author's note: This is a story about an alternate universe where the ever clumsy, giddy, and easy going Queen Amelia of Genovia and her prince consort Nicholas arranges to have a masked ball for their rebellious and worryingly aloof eighteen year old daughter by the name of Clarisse ** (Yep, it's all in reverse – in a twisted sort of way) in the hopes that she will find herself a nice male companion.

Caution: Major fluff/some drama

Disclaimer: Princess Diaries does not belong to me, and I shall repeat the same to any crazed lawyer hot on my heels.


Prelude

"Dear diary, I was surprised to receive a most exquisite gift from my beloved parents today. Isn't that sweet!" Queen Amelia exclaimed in sheer delight, smiling broadly at her cinnamon-haired husband who appeared to be deeply engrossed in the morning papers.

"And you said our daughter wouldn't take us seriously. She's obviously more sensitive than you give her credit for." She added, her tone becoming increasingly accusatory.

"Mia?" The prince consort began, eyes never leaving the newspaper.

"Yeah?" She responded eagerly.

"Butter me a toast?"

Mia rolled her eyes, but obliged. She reached for a piece of crisp toast, and was careful not to drop any crumbs on the open pages of the leather bound book before her. Reaching for the butter knife, she continued relentlessly.

"Well, I thought it was a good idea. A teenager can sustain severe emotional damage if she isn't able to find the right avenue to express her inner troubles."

"She's already eighteen, you know."

"Well, I stumbled upon the idea a little late, I'll admit…"

Nicholas raised an eyebrow at her.

"A little?" He asked sarcastically, earning a pout from Mia.

"Well, fine then! Since you're obviously deplorably uninterested in the affairs of your daughter – "

Nicholas laughed lightly, and pulled an affronted Mia into his arms at last. He planted a soft kiss on the top of her chestnut hair.

"Careful! The butter…!" She giggled, snuggling happily against her husband's neck as she struggled to balance the buttered toast in her hand.

"Her Majesty is appeased, I trust?" Nicholas teased, and received a soft contented purr in reply.

However, his expression grew serious when he caught sight of the diary that lay patiently open on the breakfast table.

"We really shouldn't be reading Clarisse's diary, dearest. We meant this as an honest gift, and not a tool to pry into the personal affairs of our daughter."

The queen chewed her bottom lip and pulled away from her consort.

"Do you think I'm a horrible mother?" She asked suddenly.

Nicholas's eyes widened in surprise, and then softened.

"Our daughter's just going through a phase; I'm sure she'll be alright." He consoled.

Mia hesitated. She stared past the crumbly buttered toast that wavered slightly in her hand.

"Yeah, but do you really think I've done the best that I can with her?" The queen persisted.

"Absolutely! Why, you're the most loving, capable, efficient and most importantly – beautiful mother in the land…and I shall challenge any fool who says otherwise!" He declared, with a pompous finish.

It was Mia's turn to raise her eyebrow this time. "I would love to hear the opinion of my mother-in-law on that one, darling. She's arriving next week, isn't she? You'll remind me to broach the subject to her, won't you?" She replied sweetly, patting his cheek that had suddenly grown pale.

"I must say, the content of that diary is looking increasingly attractive." Nicholas observed quickly, pulling the diary closer towards him. "Nice penmanship." He added approvingly.

"Read it out to me?" The queen begged, eager to find out more.

"Wha – me?" He gaped in shock.

"Why should I be the only horrible parent in this room?" She grinned roguishly at her harassed looking husband, tugging gently at his earlobe.

"Won't she notice her diary's missing? She's terrifyingly sharp…" Nicholas fretted.

Mia sighed impatiently.

"She's off for her morning lessons. I'll just slip into her room later and return the book from where I found it. She'll never even guess."

Nicholas winced and rubbed his forehead; he seemed engaged in a fierce internal struggle, but finally relented with a troubled sigh.

"Dear diary, I was surprised to receive a most exquisite gift from my beloved parents today." He repeated slowly and reluctantly, ignoring the glowing look on Mia's face.

"I pondered deeply over the possible reasons why my doting parents chose you as a gift for me. I have to admit, I initially assumed it was meant as a funny little joke at my expense – in reference to my childish outburst a few days ago, I am sorry to say. However, I've finally begun to realize how terribly stubborn and selfish I have been lately."

He paused at this point, and pushed the book away.

"Am I the only one feeling terribly guilty about this?" He asked his wife pointedly who had the grace to look appropriately abashed.

"No," Mia began slowly, even as she nudged the diary back towards him, "but I'm really concerned about our daughter. I never know what she's thinking because she keeps to herself too much, and the girl absolutely refuses to open up to either you or me."

Her husband sighed, "That's true."

"Look, I know it's despicable, but I have to grab at whatever I can here."

Nicholas shook his head dejectedly, but pressed on to please his wife.

"I feel most awful about it. There I was misconstruing it as yet another of my parents' antics to bend me to their will, when they only had the purest of intentions in mind." The prince consort coughed meaningfully at this point, causing Mia to wince.

"To tell you the truth, the idea of keeping an account of my daily experiences appeals to me the more I think about it. It's quite funny, really. Just a few minutes ago, I had every intention of storing you away in obscurity – but this certainly is a more…interesting alternative. I even suspect that I shall have better material to fill in tomorrow. But it's good night for now."

Mia leaned back in her chair and stretched her arms, satisfied at last.

"Well, that was a little short…but at least my mind's at ease now."

"No wait, there's more – " her husband interrupted distractedly.

"Oh?" The queen leaned forward again quickly, angling her face to read the last sentence on the page.

"PS: Oh and in the case you do forget, this book goes back to the top shelf of my bookcase, Mother dearest…"

Both Nicholas and Mia flinched back and traded looks of horror.

"Oh shoooooot!"


TBC