Title: Masks (I Wear)
Author: Veiledndarkness
Rating: PG-13 for language mostly
Word Count: 587
Summary: Everyone's got a mask
Warnings: The usual I suppose lol, herein are characters that don't belong to me.
Jack's Point of View
How many masks can one guy wear? I got so many, juggling too many. I feel like I'm gonna drop one any day now. There's only so many shields a guy can have. And I can't hide from them cause there's no wall thick enough.
The first one hides my fears, my shame and the knowledge that if it weren't for Ma, I'd be dead or in some rehab place for junkies. How many times can you get rescued before admitting that you need help? She knew, Ma knew. She always could see right past that first mask. It fooled most people, the face of indifference, of calm yet sneering acceptance.
A second to cover my nerves, the shakes that happen when the memories come back full force. On the inside, I'm raging and screaming terror filled and petrified. On the outside, I'm staring off into space with a thoughtful expression. Very few see through this one, no one looks that closely.
A third to mask my seldom seen violent side. A fury so great I can barely contain it. I cry for the lost, scared child within, rage for the angst filled preteen who cut to escape life. Fear for my brothers every time they leave the house. Fear for every time I leave the house. Masks for every emotion, for every thought. I strive to remain blank and I use every shield I know of to protect myself. Blank faces for strangers, for bullies, for every well meaning adult.
The most important is the one held the tightest. The mask that automatically slides over when Bobby is there. I both crave and fear him. This mask cannot slip. Bobby's rejection would leave me reeling. His acceptance would send me running. I struggle to stay calm when he's in the room. All I can breathe is him, all I see. I'm obsessed. And I can't look away.
I juggle them furiously. I know one day they'll all fall. On that day, I'll face Bobby and tell him the truth. One mask after the other.
Bobby's Point of View
I've done a lot of shit, some of it my fault, some just defense. No matter, I keep going; I do what I gotta do. Right now my face is grim, determined. I got revenge planning in mind. Those fuckers are gonna pay. An eye for an eye indeed.
This face, the look I wear most days is a constant in my life. Shit, I don't even think about it, it's just there. Only time it slips is at home with my bros. They see me, the real guy, and the real face. But I see Jack. And when he sees me, his face goes blank. A small part of me just fuckin' dies when I see that expressionless shield in his eyes.
I wanna shake him, snap him out of it. I want the truth; I want to know what the fuck I did wrong. Why does he look like I'm gonna beat the shit out of him? He'll watch me from the corner of his eyes, biting his fingernails, worrying his lips with his teeth. But I catch his eyes? Boom! Blank yet scared. Damn him.
There's nothin' he can't tell me.
We all got our masks sweetheart; some just got more than others.
