Watch You When You Sleep: Juvia/Gray- In which Juvia breaks in and watches Gray sleep.
A/N: Uh . . . yeah. I hate it when I've got fanfic ideas, but I don't know how to write them down. And so, that's why I haven't published in a while . . . because I've got cruddy excuses like this.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.
He is strangely more charming when he's not awake, endearingly boyish, sprawled on his stomach one moment, and flopped onto his back the next.
The blankets rest far below his waist, perhaps his way of keeping cool, exposing his toned torso, illuminated by the gentle moonlight streaming in from his window that she's left open.
His hair, dark and perpetually disheveled, gleams from the same source of light, contrasting beautifully, ethereally against the pale perfection of his skin.
Yes. He's just so, so utterly perfect. Persistent, dedicated, strong reliable . . . . Her lips form into a soft smile; she needs a man like him. No, she needs the man who chased the rain away, who gave her sunlight, friends, and a bright smile. Not a man like him, but him in entirety.
Perhaps she doesn't deserve him, but she can, and does yearn so badly to. She does want him, longs to feel him, to lie in the same bed as him, to be loved by him.
To be loved by him.
She nearly scoffs. How farfetched is a wish like that? When one wishes for something, it should at least be close to possible . . . so that you can never stop hoping. And she hasn't stopped hoping. Yet. But she should, shouldn't she?
Because he . . . he, like she's said, is perfection and she . . . is not.
She doesn't have anything to give him in return, if he is ever to be with her, because just having him with her will have been something.
And so . . . and so this is why she is here, in his house, by his bedside in the middle of the night. She can never be wanted by him. She will never have him, never have enough of him. So here, watching over him, she better get as much of him as she can take.
Her eyes rake the length of his body in admiration, as she studies his jaw, his lips, his tranquil expression from her seat in a desk chair at his bedside. He's lying on his side now, facing her, mouth ajar, and a lower part of him that should be covered in plain sight.
She wants to giggle, to turn away, to gawk and lick her lips all at once.
G-Gray-sama really shouldn't sleep without clothes, lest Juvia be tempted to touch . . . .
He groans suddenly and mutters something garbled. He does mumble in his sleep. He mumbles things about her. Nasty things. Odd things. Sweet things that make her blush. Things that confuse her, that intrigue her, that make her want him to just talk with her so that they can clear things up together. Because when he whispers about her, it's things that he will never dare to tell her aloud. To her in person.
"It's . . . pretty when you laugh, Juvia . . . ."
She's rather disappointed that he's actually so shy. So full of pride. So stubborn. They can never be together if he can't even tell her straight up what the thinks of her.
She sighs deeply from within her chest. It's yet another reason why she's here– to at least hear what he's got to say about her, even though it's not often. He does murmur other things, personal, painful topics that she rather not listen to, but has to because she wants him, wants to know him.
So she will listen to him, hear him, sympathize and understand him with an open heart when his pillow becomes damp with tears, when it muffles the anguish in his whimpers of Ur and Deliora.
Sometimes, she's compelled to comfort him. She will rest her forehead gently on his and run his fingers softly through black locks, maybe even whisper something to him along the lines of her unfathomable devotion. It's a time where she can love him without his resistance, without him pushing her away. She's only here for an hour and a half each night, anyway, or morning, rather. From three to four thirty.
It's sad that these can be the best hours of her life, just having him all to herself, even though he's unconscious. Very sad. But not unbelievable, because she does climb into bed with him at times.
She will curl up at his side, bathing in his warmth and bathing him in hers, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about how right it feels, how natural it is to be beside him, in his bed.
But he never stirs. He never wakes up to find her here.
"Ah, Gray-sama," she utters into the silent darkness. "You never notice Juvia's presence, do you?"
"You're wrong."
Hm. She doesn't jump. His voice never, ever startles her. No, it excites her, comforts her, gives her strength.
She glances up, only to see that he is awake, eyelashes fluttering groggily as he props his head up with one hand. "I know you're here all the time, but I just don't voice it."
"But of course." She smiles wistfully at her lap, wondering how he can say this so indifferently. "Gray-sama's expertise is leaving Juvia in the dark, is it not?"
He frowns and doesn't reply to her, but with his own question. "Why are you even here?"
Crossing her legs, she answers without faltering, "Juvia guesses that she just can't get enough of you." She's been over this already at least a dozen times in her head.
His expression is strangely blank. "You're really weird."
"Juvia knows." Her voice is almost bitter. "You tell me all the time."
Even in your sleep.
"You would think that it would be enough for you to stop," he mutters wryly.
She shrugs. "Juvia's desire for Gray-sama is too strong for her to give up just because he thinks her weird."
He grunts as a reply.
Her attention is on the open window causing the curtains to flap softly. It blows in chilly air and she wants to shiver. She's only left it ajar for Gray-sama's sake.
"Why did Gray-sama choose to answer Juvia tonight?" She asks without facing him, drumming her fingers listlessly on her thighs, despite that she's rather tense.
He sits up, crossing his arms across his shirtless chest. "Because I was tired of your annoying sneakiness."
"So you're going to ask Juvia to stop . . . ." She realizes that she's spoken it as more of a statement than inquiry.
"Just the opposite." He looks away. "I . . . enjoyed your company. You're a lot sweeter when you think I'm asleep . . . ."
There's a certain heat that rests on her cheeks. She responds back with, "And Gray-sama is much sweeter when he actually is asleep." She bites her lower lip. "He lets Juvia do what she wants."
The corner of his mouth twitches upward. He's gazing out the window, at the moon as well. "Well, you want to lie with me, right? I'll let you do that."
She stiffens. Her heart speeds up from beneath her ribs. Juvia c-can't. Her job, what she expects, is to just observe him peacefully and wish that she can do all of that with him. She has already accepted that she can't. That she is not meant to be with Gray-sama of his own free will.
"Why?" Escapes softly from her lips.
"Because I realized . . . that I can't sleep soundly without you here with me."
She stares at him, lips parted, until he turns red in the face and scratches at his neck. "Is . . . Gray-sama being honest?"
It's a lot more painful than it sounds when someone plays your heartstrings.
His eyes are on her now. They don't waver. She likes that about him. "Yeah . . ." He moves over, creating room for her. "It's . . . uncomfortably cold when you're not here."
Her body acts before she can complete thinking it over, and before she knows it, one knee is on the mattress and she's pulling the rest of herself in beside him.
The chill that she's felt from the drafty window is immediately gone. His heat overwrites it all as he welcomes her with open arms, not neglecting her, not ignoring or trying to stop her.
With almost a smile, she snuggles in next to him and she isn't nervous. His presence always is one to consol her, even more than his voice.
She wants to sigh something deep and relieved because she's finally here, he's finally let her here. The sensation of his skin brushing hers . . . it's so– it's so– it's so . . . her heart is throbbing frenetically, whereas she feels calm.
She peers at him, at his stoic face. "Does Gray-sama really feel okay with this?"
She's never seen a gentle smirk before. "You say that as if we're going to be doing something here."
"I wouldn't mind."
" . . . You're really weird."
"Juvia knows." For Gray-sama to want to share his bed, I must be something else . . . .
And then they both roll to the side, facing each other, so close that their foreheads are nearly touching, and she savors the feeling. Gray is looking at her. He is facing her, acknowledging her when all he ever does is turn his back on her, leaving her to stand in his cold shadow.
When something warm contacts her, she remembers that he is naked. Naked . . . . Her cheeks color. If she is selfish, she will ask that he dress to make her comfortable, and if she is greedy, she'll request to undress as well. Luckily, she is neither, only chuckling slightly, examining his face. She's never been so close.
"You should laugh more often," he says, catching her smiling. His tone is cryptic, but of course she understands. She's heard him talk in his sleep, after all.
"Why is that?" She blinks innocently up at him from under azure bangs. Yes, she knows, he's spoke it indirectly to her already, but . . . Please tell me . . . .
He's strangely unabashed. "Because it's . . . beautiful."
She doesn't know how to respond to this. She hasn't imagined that he will be so . . . bold. But no. Of course she has. She's envisioned it many times over in her head that he will compliment her, that he will praise and flatter her shamelessly, without a hint of hesitation. But it's always, always in her mind. For him to be like this in real life has always seemed unattainable, beyond her reach. So maybe she's underestimated him, because it's not true anymore. Maybe she does not understand him yet. But she can.
Contented, she closes her eyes. "Thank you . . . Gray-sama."
He's his resolute self again, averting his eyes and twisting his mouth. "For what, exactly?"
"For letting Juvia watch you," she answers softly. For letting Juvia get to know you better. For letting Juvia begin to understand.
A/N: Yay, finally done. I got stuck toward the end, so . . . yeah. It ended mystically. Please review, you guys, and tell me what you though! :D
