bCredit goes to the following GameFAQS users: 1. bebz

2. gamer2003

3. GamerChick90

4. ilovemyself

5. Ivrine 11

6. RanchshipperAndrew

7. Tails Girl45/b

One day, (Young) Malon was singing in the horse corral as usual. Then along came Link, who came back from the wicked place called Termina.

"Hi Malon" greeted Link.

"Hi Fairy boy. How are you doing?" Malon asked.

"Fine. Just fine."

"What do you want to do?" Malon asked.

"I have no idea..."

Instead of wasting their afternoon staring blankly at each other, Malon suggested they sit upon the fresh grass. It was nearly twilight, and the sky would be a sight to see.

"Link..." began Malon, "You have been gone for a very long time...it is good to see you again...Fairy Boy."

Link smiled to the sky as he sat content upon the soft earth. With a yawn, he answered. "It's good to be back. You wouldn't believe what it was like...nevermind."

The wind played gently with the straggling hairs before his face.

Malon stared at the ground, "Hey, Fairy Boy......" She paused and shook her head.

Link looked at her worriedly, "What, Malon?"

She looked up, a mischievous smile appearing on her face. She tackled him and came up with his sword laughing.

Link smiled and tried to snatch it back from her, "Maaaalooon!" He whined, trying to keep his fake annoyed mood.

Malon swung it a few times in the air before looking back at Link, "Hahaha. Sorry, Fairy Boy, I couldn't let you be so solemn all the time! You came back, you should be happy!"

Out of no where, Ganon posessed Malon.

"Stupid.... Fairy.... Boyyyyyyyyy!!!!!" She screamed in a deep voice, before slicing Link's head off. She screamed and then smiled.

"Yay! I get to fight my way to Ganon and star in my own game!"

*The original Legend of Zelda opening scene plays, but at when the Legend of Zelda comes up, Zelda's name has a line over it with red marker, and Malon written above it.*

"Malon?" Link asked as he poked her arm.

"What? I was having an adventurous fantasy." Malon explained.

Link got up and smiled "have any sexual fantasys?" he asked.

"Ooo...you naughty Fairy Boy." Malon and Link giggled.

"Want to go to the lake?" Link asked.

"I will have to ask my dad"Malon ran to her dad and he nodded yes. "Want to have a picnic there?" Malon asked Link.

"Okay" Link and Malon held hands and grabbed a pic-a-nic basket. As the blue shoreline of the Lake was visible and they could feel their stomachs gurgling for food, Link and Malon began to tread faster toward their destination.

With peace restored to the land by Link, Malon's knight in shining armor, there were no fiendish monsters to bother them while they ate cucco sandwiches. All was well until a great pall spread itself over the sun, and eventually over the small but magnificent Lake Hylia. Link recalled such a happening years ago before the gate of the castle. A shot of panic struck him and he stood.

"What is it, Link?" asked Malon with a worried tone in her voice. "Link, what is wrong?" Malon asked an unconcious Link.

"It all reminds me of...Dragon Ball Z!"

"Oh you had me worried to death." Malon slapped him.

"Sorry. But I was thinking about asking you..."

"What?"

"When we grow up, will you marry me?" Link asked with a pleasant smile.

"...I don't know. Will you promise to marry me?" Malon asked.

"Yes. I promise."

"Then of course I will" Malon declared as she put her head on Link's shoulder. Suddenly Zelda bursts into the room, "But Link, we are supposed to marry! You said it yourself!"

"Uh...no I didn't"

"Why would he do something that stupid, Zelda? Link's too smart for you!"

"Are you sure that wasn't Ganondork" Link asked with a smile.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease Zelda, marry me!" Ganon's cry is heard from the castle, "Please! I'll do anything!!!"

"AW MAN! It was him! Dang!"

"See ya, Zelda!"Link laughs. Link shook his head and shrugged his shoulders. "Don't worry about Zelda. She's been after me for a long time." He couldn't help but grin. With a disgusted look from Malon he cleared his throat and put on a more somber attitude and took her by the arm, out to Kakariko Village.

"Stop twitching, Fairy Boy," said Malon as she noticed him staring at the small object in his hand. "Ooh! Your ocarina!" she said, remembering old times.

"You know, Malon," Link began with a slow tone, "I DO still have the Ocarina of Time. You KNOW...to go FORWARD IN TIME? Like, FORWARD IN TIME WHEN WE'RE GETTING MARRIED? I can play it well..."

"What are you suggesting?!" she replied, jumping up and down in an excited frenzy.

"I am saying that you and I should go forward 9 years later and get married." Link said.

"You can do that"

"Sure. Hold my hand and do not let go" Link told Malon as he played the song of time.

*3 days before Link came back*

"Doh. Can we rewind this?"

"Sorry about that. I guess I should play the song of the future. Do not let go of my hand."

Song of the future: Cv, C^, C, A, A, C^

"Hold on tight, red head!" Link held Malon's hand and they warped 9 years later...

9 years later, Link and Malon have grown up. "Wow Malon, you have grown breasts." Link said.

"I have been growing breasts since I was 10!" Malon shouted.

Link nodded and laughed. "Lets go see where we can get married."

"Link, you look so handsome and sexy..."

"Malon, you look so beautiful and sexy...please not yet"

"Okay...Lets go."

So the happy couple skipped off to the Goron City and asked Darunia to marry them. They decided to elope so as not to cause any problems with other relations - more importantly Zelda and Ruto. After an hour or so, the two were happily married after such a long time of waiting. Unsure of what to do with thmeselves, they thought it best to notify their friends and family.

Link and Malon were now Hero and wife. Unfortunately, since they have the minds of 10 year olds, they have no freaking idea on what to do. Or how they are going to take care of a baby. "I don't know what to do, Malon." Link said "Since we have the minds of 10 year olds, we have no freaking idea on what to do. I don't even know how we are going to take care of a baby."

"Well, we could just go back to being 10 and wait 9 years till we are married. But I will never let you go, Fairy Boy."

"Good idea, but I wanted to make love to you so badly...oh well."

Link played the song of Time and went back to being 10 year olds.

Back at the Lake..."Poor us, we were about to live happily ever after" Malon cried. Link put his hands on Malon's waist "well...I just want to kiss you now." They put their lips on one another and enjoyed a wonderful kiss.

But suddenly, Ruto sprang outta the water, and than smooched Link promptly on the cheek. She then said to Malon "Screw off, Farm girl. I proposed to him." But Malon decided to do nothing since she wants to stay in character. However, Link pushed Ruto away and said "Hey. Fish fry. Don't badmouth my girl!" Ruto got mad and said "You haven't seen the last of me..." Ruto jumped back in the water.

"What was her problem?" Malon asked.

"SHe's had it in her mind that we were supposed to marry after I took Zora's Sapphire...

"Why did you take it?"

"To save Hyrule, of course!"

They sit for a minute in complete silence, staring at the sunset. Then, Link notices Malon is giving him a fierce look.

"And you!"

"I thought so"

Suddenly, Link sees something across the lake. The figure is tall, and has red hair. And his eyebrows grow into his hair.

"It can't be..."

"What?" Malon asked...she looks across the lake"Is that?"

"Yes." Link said. "It's him..." Yes. It is I, Ganondorf."

Link was shocked "...oh thats right. That was the future and this was the past."

Malon was scared. Ganondorf was as scary as hell (heh heh, not really). Malon grabbed Link's arm and hid behind his back.

"Don't worry Malon. I'll protect."

Ganondorf heard that and cried. "Thats so sweet...wait a darn minute, I thought you went with Zelda?"

"I thought YOU went with Zelda." Link said.

"*gasp* You're right. I'm coming darling!" Ganondorf ran off.

Link and Malon giggled...and Link started to feel Malon's pretty dress but Malon slapped his hand and shot him a disgusted look. Link was shocked.

"But we're...married...sort of..."

"You knew this would happen," she shouted, unsure of what else to do. "Ruto...your fiance!" she ran off toward Lon Lon Ranch.

Link sat perplexed on the grass near the shore of Lake Hylia. In a last poor attempt he shouted back to her:

"But she's not even Hylian!" Malon's sobs became louder.

Suddenly a spurt of smoke was seen from the top of the scientist's lab/house.

"It seems as if you're having a little girl trouble." It was Sheik.

"Ah, crap. Not again." said Link as he stood.

"You need to impress the ranch girl. What will you do?" Sheik asked.

"How about...I take her to dinner?"

"What did you say, Link?" Malon asked.

"How about I take you out to dinner? Think that will forget about the incident with Ruto?"

"Yes, it will. Your taking me out to dinner? How romantic. I love you again" Malon hugged Link.

So Link and Malon headed for Malon's all-time favorite restaurant. They were about half-way there when Link stopped suddenly.

"Hey, Malon. What IS your favorite restaurant?"

Malon giggled. "I wondered when you would ask you silly Fairy Boy."

They now stood before the bridge crossing to Kakariko. To their left, they could see a lone figure charging toward them.

"What is that, Link?" asked Malon, grabbing him tightly by the arm.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." He pulled out his sword, but when the figure came into clear view, he nearly dropped it.

"It's Ruto!" he yelled.

"Run!" added Malon, and she jerked him over the bridge and up the stairs.

"Keep running" Malon and Link ran from that Ruto. "That was close. Is that it?" Link pointed to a tiny shop. "Yes, Uncle Andrew's Burgerama. It is run by someone named Andrew"

"Duh. I guess. Lets go in."

They stepped inside and before them was a few nice tables with clean tablecloths and casual decoration around.

"It's so calm here" said Malon, taking a seat.

"Yeah. I'll go order for us." Link walked to the counter.

"Hey, what can i get for you?" said the person behind the counter. "My name's Andrew." Oh wow." said Link. "Funny...i feel as if i know you from somewhere....anyway. We'll take two of your best."

"Okay. Romani will get your drinks and Cremia will bring the food." Andrew said.

"DID YOU SAY ROMANI AND CREMIA?!" Link shouted.

"Yes. Here they are."

Romani and Cremia came out and introduced themselves, until Romani found out it was Link.

"Oh Link, its great to see you again. Whats new, Grasshopper? I see you brong a friend...that looks...just like me..."

"Romani, this is my fiance, Malon."

Cremia's eyes rose up "Fiance? How sweet. Yet both of you are so young"

"Okay, we'll bring you our best burgers and fries. Which is...*points to Cremia*"

"...Chili Burger and Fries" Cremia finished.

"Bingo. We will be with. Now Link, be careful and don't touch Malon where you can't touch her, because thats...*points to Romani*"

"...Sexual Harrasment" Romani finished.

"Bingo. Ho, ho, ho!"

"OK I won't..."Link said.

"What would you guys like to drink?" Andrew asked.

"I'll have a glass of Hyrule's Sparkling Water" Malon replied.

"Double it."

"OK, so that's two glasses of Sparkling Water and..." Andrew turned to the door and saw Ganondorf and Zelda walking in. Zelda had a disgusted look on her face.

"Table for two" Ganondorf said.

"One!" Zelda shouted. "I told you I'm not going out with you!"

"I'm sorry," Romani said. "We don't allow evil villians, or tomboy princesses into the restaurant."

"You're kidding!" Ganondorf screamed.

"No, I'm serious. Now leave or there'll be trouble."

"What is a little girl like you going to do? Slap me?"

"Not exactly. We have two secret weapons in the back, who could really hurt you..."

"Hahahahaha...you have got to be..."

Romani whistled, and two girls hop out of the back room, swords and shields in hand.

"kidding..." Ganondorf finished.

"They look familiar too, don't they, Malon?" Link asked.

"Yeah, they do...but I can't put my finger on it..."

"Those are our best fighters, bebz and GC. They stand for peace and relaxation, but sometimes end up fighting themselves." Andrew stated.

"Not this time!" bebz shouted back.

"How about you take on Ganondork over there and I'll handle Zelda, OK?" GC asked bebz.

"Fine by me. This should be easy." Bebz and GC circled around Ganondorf and Zelda. They both looked frightened, waiting for the first blow to be delivered. Suddenly Ruto came in and screamed. "AHH! IT'S A SHOP FULL OF FREAKS! And Link, there you are. You are my shining star"

"Yeah? Well I am not. I am already taken by a beautiful ranch girl. Find some Zora prince or something."

"NO! You got my Zora's Sapphire, so you be my husband"

Link shook his head in shame "You know, if you go to the Temple of Time, you can get your crummy stone."

"Really? Fine. We are now offically broken up!" Ruto went out. Like I gave a rats booty." Link said.

"Can we continue this?" Ganondorf asked.

"Yes"

"Can't everyone just settle down? All I wanted was to take Malon out for a nice romantic dinner..."

Romani and Cremia both sighed in recognition. "That's so sweet," said one.

"Keep the orders moving, ladies..." said Andrew with a glint in his eye. "Malon and Link are our two very special customers. Especially Malon. GC, bebz, go back to your brawling in back. I'll be sure to lock the door."

In no time the Chili Burgers and Fries were served hot to the happy couples' table. Link took Malon by the hand.

"I can't wait to get legitimately married, Malon."

"Me too," she answered, and popped a fry into her mouth.

Link and Malon finished eating the delicious burgers. "Thank you, Andrew, Romani, and Cremia." Link said.

"You're welcome. Anything for the couple of life" Cremia said.

"Link, want to go swimming at the lake?" Malon asked.

"Okay!"

And So Link And Malon walked hand in hand towards lake Hylia. when they reached the lake they started swimming. they were having lots of fun untill Link decided to catch Malon a fish so turning to look at Malon he said "Hay race ya to the fishing pond!" Link turned around and begain swimming towards the fishing pond and slowly getting closer he throught to himself "i'm going to win theres no way Malon can catch up to me now!" but little did he know the Malon had just snucked up on him and pulled him under water then Giggling loudly Malon made for the bank of the fishing pond. By the time Link reached the bank Malon was siting there looking at him with eyes that resisted the earge to burst out laughing. Link then throught he should flatter Malon so lying down next to her he begain staring into her eyes. "You father must have been a theif because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes." Malon looked at Link not knowing what to say.

Finally, Malon thought of something and said, "Link, would you ever marry Zelda?"

"What do you mean?" Link asked.

"Well, I was just wondering, cause I've been hearing people saying you and Zelda are meant for each other..."

"I would never leave your side, Malon." Link took Malon's hand and looked deeply into her eyes. "If I would ever do something that stupid, it would mean that Ganondorf probably did something to me to make me do that! You are the only girl for me, and that will never change."

"Oh, Link..."

"Shhhhh..." Link gently stroked Malon's cheek. "Everything will be OK." He kissed her and they went back to the ranch and went to sleep.

The next morning, when Link woke up, Malon was not there. Instead, He was alone in her room, and frantically wondered where he was. But he soon realized where Malon was and went out side to see her. There she was, standing in the corral, singing her mother's song. Link then walked up to Malon and said, "Hey, Malon."

"Good morning, Link." She replied as she ran up to hug him.

"What do you want to do today?" Link asked.

"You know, Malon. We have been best friends since we met 5 months ago. I can't wait 9 years till we are married." Link explained.

"Me too, Link, me too." malon said right back. Then they looked at each others beautiful blue eyes and they shared a passionate kiss.

Talon and Ingo was spying on them. "Well isn't that special?" Talon cooed. "Yeah, young love. Makes you want to puke. Yuck!" Ingo said.

The End.

Epilogue:

9 years have past, and the wedding is going to start right now.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." The priest said.

Link grabbed Malon's waist and kissed on the lips. Everyone that was attending cried their eyes out.

"Bye Link. Bye Malon. Enjoy your new life together!" Everybody said.

"Next wedding. Do you Ganondorf take Zelda to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The priest asked.

"Hell yes!" Ganondorf replied.

"Kay, and do you Zelda, take Ganondorf as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

Link and Malon went to Link's house in the Kokiri Forest.

"I have been waiting a long time for this, Malon. The time has come..."

"Yes, Link, lets do it."

Link and Malon made love to each other all through the night. And they lived happily ever after...

Being married, Malon and Link now had to choose a home. Would they live in the Kokiri Forest with all the Kokiri children, or on the Ranch with the cool breeze and good memories? It was a situation, for both wanted to live where the other did not.

"But, Malon, I have bad memories of that house. So many bad dreams..."

"But I don't want to live my Father and Ingo. Besides, its so green and pretty here -everyone is so nice, and there aren't cuccos," replied Malon. They definitely had a situation on their hands. They needed to find some way to figure it out, or somewhere to think about it. Many people of Kakariko showed up to help build the happy couple's new home. It had a nice country feel, but many trees were planted around the perimeter from seeds that the Kokiri had given them to plant in the soil. Everyone pitched in, and soon they had a glowing new abode.

"Oh, Link, this is wonderful."

"I know," he said, placing his arm around her waist. They both stood outside looking at the new home, not sure what to do with themselves.

"I do wish that we had a fountain, though..." said Malon, giving Link a yearning, loving stare that he could not resist.

"Fine, fine," he said. "Let's go see King Zora. I'm sure he and the other Zora's can give us some materials." Link took Malon by the hand and they crossed the bridge going to Kakariko, and then turned the corner to the Zora River.

"You're such a gentleman, Link, to take the bridge instead of swimming across."

"Anything for you," he said, as he shot an octorok with his bow. Malon squealed and grabbed his arm. "Don't worry - I've been through here millions of tim-" he stopped short as the stone from an octorok hit him in the back of the head. Cupping her hands over her mouth, Malon gasped and ran to her husband.

"Link, be careful! Look! Listen!"

"No...please...please don't do that..." He took her by the waist and tossed her platform to platform until they reached the Seal before the threshold of Zora's Domain.