This is my first transformers fic, so I'm a little iffy on some things. Those of you with more Transformers knowledge guide me if I'm doing something completely wrong. Haha.
Thank you so much PAW07 for the help. Hopefully this is better than what I first sent to you. I can't thank you enough for the help. :D
For those of you who don't know PAW07: I highly suggest, strongly suggest. No. I order you to go check out her fics. She's a really talenter writer and she writes on just about everything under the sun.
Now please read and review. I would love some feedback on this. See what I need to work on and stuff. Thank you!
Title: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Summary: A little bit of late night fun throws a stoic bot headfirst into something he would rather face ten 'cons than deal with. Will he find it in his spark to learn compassion? He better, or else…
Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, sadly.
Rating: T for language
Chapter 1
The night was still and silent. The moon had set hours ago; the stars were covered by a blanket of clouds; the insects had stopped making their noise and the air was thick with humidity. It was a sticky, silent, summer night.
Perfect. A silent form thought as he snuck out of the door nobody in their right mind will be out at this hour. He crept farther out and a second form followed him like a shadow.
The two were completely silent until they reached the main road. The first being turned his lights on and turned to face the other. He trained his lights on the other's face with blinding accuracy.
"Primus, Sides!" the second hissed throwing his hands up to shield his optics "You don't have to slagging blind me!"
Sideswipe laughed and dimmed his head lights, saying "Lighten up, Sunny. Now come on, let's do what we came out here for."
He scanned the road for any approaching traffic. Once he was assured the road was really empty he stepped out and transformed in all his shifting, metal glory. His brother followed suit and soon two cars of the same model but different colors were sitting in the road, engines purring in anticipation. Sideswipe was a flashy, racecar red, his paint reflected the distant street light. His twin, Sunstreaker, was a bright, equally flashy yellow. Sunny's paint glistened in the light. He looks like a car that had just rolled out of a car show. Sunstreaker's vanity was known throughout the Autobots.
"So where to tonight?" the yellow twin said to his brother.
"Oh, I don't know. How about to the Ford dealership on the other side of the city?"
"Works for me. Straight through the main path or around the main outskirts?"
"Around, through the residential area. It's Saturday and Primus knows how many humans will be wandering around intoxicated in the main city."
"Even at this hour?" Sunstreaker asked.
"Especially at this hour. It's when the humans start throwing each other out of their bars. And they're left wandering the streets."
"It's 3am…."
"That doesn't matter. Intoxicated humans don't tell time, they're nocturnal."
"So what's the prize this time?"
"Loser has to take the blame if we get caught during a prank, as always." Sideswipe stated simply.
"Works for me." Sunstreaker said revving his engine. He couldn't wait to get moving again. He hated driving on Earth and following their (ugh) ….speed limits. He missed Cybertron and how fast he and Sides could go there. They raced everywhere, now they had to save their races until after dark and race in secret. Prowl had forbade them to race in fear that they would damage one of the humans. Sunny cringed at the punishment Prowl would instill if he ever found out about their late night races. But the yellow twin needed the speed to keep him sane on this dull, organic, dirty planet.
"Ready?" Sides asked.
"You're going to lose again, brother." Sunny replied revving his engine mock threateningly.
"GO!" Sides shouted and the twins shot off into the night.
Both of the twins were constantly scanning for any human police while trying to pull ahead of their brother. Occasionally, one would call out to take the next turn to avoid the local law enforcement. Their detours led the racers out of the city and soon they approached a quiet suburb. Sunny was behind his brother as they took the last turn into the area of houses, but he turned tighter and pulled ahead. Laughing, the twins sped through the suburb breaking the stillness.
Sunny was gloating to his brother when his scanner picked up something running right into his path. He skidded to a stop, too late. With a thud; he hit whatever had run in front of him and his brother sped past in a red blur.
Shit! Sunny thought uttering one of the Earth swears he had picked up from hanging around the humans.
:Sides stop!: he sent out desperately to his brother who was now out of sight.
:What's wrong? Did you slip up brother?: Sideswipe teased as he continued to drive, but he slowed down, something was wrong in his brother's tone and something in their spark bond was off.
:Sides, get back here! .... I hit a human…: Sunny pleaded.
Sideswipe screeched to a halt. His brother never, NEVER, pleaded. Something was wrong. His tires left marks as he turned around to race back to his brother. As he came upon his sibling he saw Sunny had transformed. :Are you out of your slagging mind?: Sides asked :What if someone sees you?:
"Is it dead?" Sunny asked ignoring his brother, too distressed to scan the human himself. He knew he would be slagged if it was dead. His thoughts flew to his exterior and he hoped the stupid human hadn't ruined his bumper or pain job. Slaging thing for running in front of me! he fumed.
Sides did a quick scan, "No, it's alive, but some of its appendages are broken."
"What are we going to do?" Sunny asked. "What if someone saw?"
Sides did another scan, "Relax, all the humans in neighboring houses are sleeping. The two in this white house are awake, but unaware they seem to be gathered in their dining unit."
"What are we going to do with it?" Sunny said point frantically to the broken form by his feet.
Sideswipe transformed and reached through his spark bond to his brother. His panic was starting to fluster him. "Relax, we'll just call a human emergency team to come get her."
"And they'll arrive and find out there isn't a witness, or a culprit and then the story will make news and you know Prowl will figure it out." Sunny growled. He and Sideswipe had come to the conclusion that Prowl could see into their processors just by looking at them and tell when someone way lying to him.
"Well we're going to have to make a decision quickly. It's losing connective tissue all over the ground and its heart rate is rising but its respiration is decreasing. I know enough from the "Human First Aid" lecture Ratchet gave us that this is not good."
"I thought you slept through that." Sunstreaker replied a little surprised that for once in their lives Sides had not taken the lazy route, or at least searched the internet or played games the whole time, "But what are we going to do?"
"We'll have to call …. We're going to have to call Ratchet."
"What? Slag no! He'll slagging kill us! Then when he's done Prowl will kill us and then our afts will be handed to Optimus and he'll kill us too! No slagging way! I vote we leave this human here. It's just one human, there are six billion other squishy fleshlings on this dirt ball. Who will miss one?"
Sideswipe was surprised for a moment. He still did not realize how Decepticon-like Sunstreaker could be. His brother was cold, but not that cold. "We can't just leave it here. It will die."
Sideswipe grabbed his brother's shoulders and shook them as if he was trying to shake those 'con-like thoughts out of his brother's CPU. At the same time he sent relaxed feeling though their twin bond as his brother's panic threatened to consume them both.
"Calm the slag down, Sunny. You're talking like a slagging Con. The worst we'll get is brig time. And it will be even worse for us if we leave it here. We have to call Ratchet."
Sunny glanced down at the bleeding human at his feet and sighed, another annoying human habit I've picked up. he thought, And speaking of stupid humans, this running target's condition is getting worse. "Alright, call Ratchet. But make it fast, I don't think it will last much longer."
"Ratchet? Are you there?" Sideswipe sent to Ratchet, trying to not sound panicked
"Primus curse you slagger! What could you possibly need at this time? Someone better be dying for you to wake me up! Or so help me I'll melt you two down for scrap metal!"
Sideswipe hesitated and glanced to his brother, maybe they wouldn't make it out online, "Uhh... Ratchet, we've kind of got a problem here."
"Where the slag are you? I can't detect either of you on the base."
"We're in the city… umm… we kind of hit …… a human."
***************************************aw shoot!**************************************
Sideswipe and Sunstreaker stood in Optimus' office and looked at their feet like ashamed sparklings, waiting for their death sentence.
:Shit bro, we really screwed up this time.: Sideswipe sent to his brother.
Sunstreaker only looked at his brother and then went back to glaring at his feet. This is all the stupid human's fault. If it hadn't run out into the street like a stupid animal with a death wish in the middle of the night they wouldn't be in this mess. The more Sunny thought about the human the more he started to hate the little, organic, being.
Prowl was standing behind the desk glaring at the twins, he was waiting for Optimus Prime and Ratchet to come back before they decided what to do about the twins.
With a hiss the door slip open and a very angry Optimus Prime and an even more pissed off Ratchet walked in, taking their places next to Prowl behind the large desk. The twins almost flinched when Optimus placed his hands on the desk, rather forcefully.
:How are we going to get out of this?: Sunstreaker said concerned with saving his own aft.
Before Sideswipe could reply, Optimus spoke, his fury was almost tangible, "You two are lucky that human did not die. Fortunately for you, Ratchet says she is stable and will survive."
Primus, I've never heard him this mad before. Sideswipe thought and for a moment he actually wondered, from a darker part of his CPU, if Sunstreaker would have been offlined if the human had offlined.
"What exactly were you two doing out there that late at night anyways?" Prowl asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear them confess anyways.
Sides glanced to his twin who had put on a hard outer shell. He knew he would have to answer.
"Racing…" he said in a barely audible voice.
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." Prowl said, he wanted to hear their confession reverberate throughout the room.
"I said we were racing each other." Sideswipe said lifting his head to look each mech in the optic. Sunstreaker lifted his head as well, looking more defiant rather than remorseful.
"Which one of you actually hit the human?" Optimus asked.
"I did." Sunstreaker replied still looking at his commanding officers without remorse. His initial panic had disappeared shortly after they had called Ratchet, and now he felt nothing for the human but hate. He knew it was the stupid fleshlings fault. The only reason he had admitted to hitting the human was because the brothers had agreed that honesty was the best policy to save their afts.
Optimus looked at Prowl and Ratchet. The twins knew they were talking amongst themselves with their comm. links. After a few moments of awkward silence Optimus spoke out. "Sideswipe, you have brig time. Now go wait out in the hall for your brother."
Sideswipe opened his mouth to protest but the dangerous look Prowl gave silenced him. He glowered and trudged out of the office to wait behind the, unfortunately, sound proof and door.
"I take it I'm not getting brig time." Sunstreaker said coldly.
"No." Optimus said, the anger in his voice made Sunny's spark quake in fear, but not enough to make him hate the human any less or back down; he was blameless, "We feel that you don't show enough concern for human life. You need to learn to work around the humans without killing them. The whole reason Prowl instated the rule was for human safety. This is their world and we have to understand that they are made of soft tissues, not metal. They aren't as durable as us Cybertronians. You have to learn to respect human life. Your punishment is to become the human's guardian. You are to spend most of every Earth day with her until she heals and can return home."
"How long will that take?" Sunstreaker asked, his hands becoming tight fists to contain his rage.
"However long it takes her bones to heal," Ratchet spoke up. "For her injuries it can take up to three earth months. You're lucky she only damaged her hip and you didn't snap her spine, leaving her paralyzed."
Ratchet was trying to guilt Sunstreaker into feeling remorseful, but the yellow mech did not show any concern for the human. He was not surprised to see rage burning behind the mech's optics, this was Sunstreaker after all.
"But what about her family unit? Surely there will be humans that will look for her when they realize she is missing." Sunny said in a last ditch attempt to get out of his sentence early.
"We will take care of the humans." Prowl stated simply his door wings twitching with the thought of all the work that would be piled onto his desk to cover that.
Sunstreaker couldn't believe it. He was stuck taking care of some human. He would rather have brig time then have to spend time with one of the weak, fleshy, oily, squishy, disgusting things. Sure, he did not mind spending time with Sam and Mikaela, but they had been around the Cybertronians for years. This new human would just be a pain in his aft.
"Come on Sunstreaker." Ratchet said grabbing the younger mech's arm rather painfully. "You have a human to babysit in my med bay." He pulled Sunny out of the office and Prowl followed, taking hold of Sideswipe and leading him to the brig like a dog.
Sunny quickly told his brother what his fate was over their comm. link before he was pulled off to the med bay. "She is over there on the smallest berth behind those screens. She's sleeping right now, but while she is awake you will watch her every move, make sure she is comfortable and not in pain, and basically do whatever she needs or wants you to do."
"So I'm to become its slave?" Sunstreaker growled with contempt.
"No. You'll be her caretaker and guardian. Kind of like Bumblebee is with Sam and Mikaela."
"Great. I'm a human baby-sitter."
"Exactly." Ratchet replied. He wondered how long it would take Sunstreaker to warm up to the human, if he ever did.
Sunstreaker looked at the tiny fleshling lying on the berth with disgust. It may have been the smallest, but she hardly took up any space. Sunny could have sat down on it and she would have had plenty of space. He couldn't help be feel a little pity stirring in his spark for the human. He thought about how awful it must be to be human; all squishy, weak, practically helpless. He knew sparklings were better equipped for survival than humans, their dependency on oxygen and heat was a major handicap. He then realized how ugly the humans really were, the layer of dead cells that coated their body and were constantly shedding off was ugly and boring. Overall humans were disgusting. In the back of his processor a quote from some human actor played through his head "I pity the fool." Sunny had to admit, humans could be entertaining to watch; they did some stupid things.
"While she is sleeping," Ratchet continued "You are to educate yourself on humans. I have a plethora of files for you to read over. Yes read. Not download to memory and store for later, but actually read. Word for word."
Ratchet walked away from Sunstreaker and the yellow twin muttered a fluent stream of cybertronian and earth curses. He flinched when he felt a wrench hit the back of his head.
"I won't take any attitude either. This is your punishment and if I feel you are neglecting your duties we might volunteer you for Ironhide's target practice instead." Ratchet said as he walked back to Sunstreaker and handed him a datapad. "Better start reading, Speer Racer." The medic growled and he walked away.
******************************************gasp!**************************************
