Herro~! I got the idea for this story from a conversation with one of my best friends about how Stan and Kyle might react to being called gay together when they're just sbffl. Enjoy~!

South Park and all the characters mentioned belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker~.

xxx

I set up the camera in my room, making sure that everything was put together correctly and that there was a tape in the slot. Yes, I'm old school and prefer cassette tapes over digital cameras. After everything was set, I made sure the camera was in focus and checked everything I set up quickly.

I smiled at my success, I hit record then sat on my bed and faced the camera, "Hi, my name is Kyle Broflovski. I'm 16 and am currently attending South Park High School, which makes me a junior. People tell me I'm cute and have a hot ass though I'm not sure why."

I shuddered at what I was about to say, "I'm Jewish as my fatass…kind of friend Eric Cartman loves pointing out and making fun of me for it all the time. My friend Kenny McCormick and super best friend Stan Marsh stick up for me which pisses him off but eh. Speaking of Stan, that's who I wanted to talk about."

I sighed, "Everyone thinks I'm gay for him and that I'm the reason Stan and Wendy Testaburger broke up. Well, I hate to burst your bubble but I'm not. All I did was TALK to him about him and Wendy's relationship and MENTIONED that it might not be working out. Stan just HAPPENED to agree with me and dumped her the next day."

I looked around the room and smiled when I saw a picture of me and Stan then shook my head and continued on, "I mean…okay Stan and I hang out pretty much every day but I can't help it. I just enjoy spending time with him. Most of the time we're with Kenny and Cartman as well so it's not like the two of us are alone together."

I felt anger begin to stir up inside me, "Why is it when two girls hang out constantly, it's fine, but when two guys hang out they MUST be in a relationship? Wendy and Bebe are a good example of what I was just saying; no one asks them if they're dating. Those two shop and have sleepovers together all the time!"

I tried to remain calm but it really wasn't working out, "If Stan and I had sleepovers, people especially Kenny, would think we were just fucking the night away! I mean Cartman and Butters…well they aren't a very good example because they actually do gay shit from what I've heard and also those two are in a secret relationship together so I won't use them."

I growled a little as I continued, "Anyway, people think I'm so into Stan that even our parents got involved! I remember the day my parents talked to me about the whole situation and how embarrassed I was at the fact that they stated that they knew it was coming eventually and how accepting they were."

I took a deep breath again but that really didn't help, "Hell, they even asked me when we were going to come out about our feelings! Of course I explained to them how they were wrong and that there was nothing special going on between me and Stan."

I tried again to keep my cool but it just wasn't working out, "Then my cell phone went off and of course it was Stan telling me how his parents just talked to him about pretty much the same thing except his dad was kind of iffy about it. Though, it shocked me that his parents were expecting this as well."

Honestly, I tried to remain calm but I just couldn't take it anymore, "IS EVERYONE JUST WAITING FOR ME AND STAN TO GET TOGETHER? GOD DAMNIT!"

I panted lightly and sat there for a few minutes to settle down before I went on, "Though, I'll be nice and flatter you by saying what would interest me in Stan if I DID like him. The first thing would be his blue eyes that are hard not to get lost in. Next his soft and shiny raven colored hair that anyone would just love to run their fingers through."

I smiled a little, "His clear and gentle skin that seems so perfect. His awesome smile that allows you to see his well kept teeth. His sensational voice that "would" give me the chills every time he spoke. His slim and masculine body from being the quarterback on the football team. His caring, sweet, animal loving, and loving personality."

I cleared my throat, "Moving on, even if I wanted to date Stan, I couldn't because I wouldn't want to our close super best friendship together. Hell, he couldn't even be friends with benefits because that involves affection! Us hugging is the farthest we can go because that has no commitment even though our bodies are touching and our arms are around each other."

I sighed, "I like how if I hug Stan, no one accuses us of being gay but if we have a playful fight and one of us tackles the other then we MUST be a couple. God I hate today's society and being a teenager, they both cause too many problems. I already have to deal with hormones, so why do I need all this extra shit on my plate?"

I felt the anger arising again, "It's not fair! I'm having a hard enough time trying to get into law school! I don't have time to be accused of liking Stan and having girls tell me how cute we are together and that he and I should start going out and that they'd help me get with him!"

The anger continued to build up, "Hell, I don't need a girl's help to get Stan! I can get him myself! Who do these people think they are assuming I can't?"

I was about to go on but I heard a knock on my door which instantly calmed me down and made me smile, "Oh that must be Stan. Okay so all that stuff I said about not liking him was bullshit and my list of why I like him is true. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to shut this off and go make out with my boyfriend."

And that's exactly what I did.