Here's a brief list of things I do not own:
'Chuck'
'CSI' (any of 'em)
the "Twilight" franchise
any songs by the Talking Heads, Who, Bon Jovi, Queen, or Kajagoogoo (ok, no Kajagoogoo songs appear in the story, but I just felt like pointing out that I'm not responsible for them)
That's a lot of stuff I don't own. Now I'm depressed.
Band on the Run
Chapter 1
"This is not how I like to spend a Sunday."
CSI Nick Stokes didn't feel like arguing, even if he'd spent many days doing this exact thing. Whenever there was a suspicious fire in the area, there would be rubble to sift through, and the crime lab would be the lucky folks to do it. Of course, in Las Vegas, there were a lot of fires, but rarely one that wasn't suspicious. So Nick had spent more than his fair share of time knee-deep in charred junk.
"Buck up, Greg. At least there aren't any bodies."
"Yeah, I guess not."
Stokes continued looking around for a sign of the point of origin. Or anything to explain how the Green Pines Motor Lodge was now permanently out of business. Nick suspected that not a lot of people would shed tears over this; it wasn't exactly a prime tourist spot, and it certainly had hosted its fair share of violent crimes in the past. Still, a fire was a fire, not matter what establishment played the role of victim.
"Hey Nick, I think I found something!"
Nick moved over to where Sanders was kneeling down. He could see the remnants of some very tacky-looking curtains on the ground. Next to them, the younger CSI was kneeling down, holding an old lighter. "I think it may have started here."
Stokes looked around. "So somebody lit the curtains with this lighter. Accidentally, or on purpose?"
Greg shrugged. "I can't tell."
"Well, bag the lighter. See anything else?"
"No, not… Hold on." Greg pulled out a bit of melted plastic from underneath a piece of curtain. "What is this?"
"Looks like an ID badge." Nick leaned in closer. "I can see a 'Ne' and a 'He'. That's it."
"Nehe? Don't know what that's supposed to be. Wait, are the letters in green?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think it's part of 'Nerd Herd.'"
"Nerd Herd? Is that some sort of gaming convention?" Nick asked.
"No. They're those tech support guys from the Buy More."
"The electronics place? Hold on, did you hear about that explosion in Burbank? Wasn't that a Buy More?"
Greg nodded. "I think so. You think these are the same guys?"
"It's possible. The Buy More is a big chain, though, so it could just be coincidence. Still, we'd better look into it."
Nick was halfway back to his office when Captain Brass called.
"I hear you've developed a fascination with mad bombers."
"Well, this job gets you to meet all sorts of interesting people."
"Well, interesting is probably a bit of an overstatement. The names of your new friends are Lester Patel and Jeff Barnes. Patel worked for the Burbank Buy More for seven years, Barnes for twenty. The branch was supposedly about to close, which may have led to the bombing."
"That's a lot of loyalty to a job."
"Maybe so, if you consider blowing up a place with C4 to be loyal. They didn't leave much to comb through afterwards."
"C4? Where would they get that? Do they have any connections?"
"Doesn't seem like it. Patel doesn't have a record. Barnes has been busted on a few drunk-and-disorderlies. His mother, now there's a story. Passing bad checks, solicitation, hijacking an ice cream truck. But she's in the pen now. Maybe she connected her son with someone she knew inside."
"Seems possible. So they decide to take their show to Vegas and take down a hotel? And with a lighter instead of C4? Seems odd."
"Hey, I thought you guys always say 'follow the evidence' not 'try to follow the twisted psyche of a master criminal.'"
"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Captain."
As he headed to his office, Nick saw Greg talking to Archie, the department's A/V specialist. Greg looked up and motioned for Nick to walk by.
"So I did a quick internet search on our hotel fire suspects, and I found a few things," Archie explained.
"Something that connects them to this case?"
"Well, no, not exactly. Take a look."
Nick leaned over to see the monitor. There was a frozen image of two men standing inside a Buy More, most likely the site of the bombing. Archie dragged over the mouse and clicked on the play button at the bottom of the screen.
"Good evening, ladies and gentleman, and welcome to our video blog," the younger man said. He appeared to be of Indian or Pakistani descent, with his long hair haphazardly over his shoulders. "I am Lester and here is my partner in crime, Jeff."
"Yo," the second man said. He was clearly older, with only vague tufts of hair remaining on his head. Both of the men were dressed in short-sleeved white button-downs, with loosened neckties descending to the ground.
"Tonight, I would like to talk about a blight that concerns us all. Something that threatens to pull this country apart by its seams." The younger man spoke with passion.
"Sounds like a manifesto to me. Are these guys another Unabomber?" Nick commented.
"Keep watching," Greg replied.
"I am talking, of course, about the 'Twilight' phenomenon. The books, the movies, the constant mooning over these guys by the teen girls that come in to the store. It has to stop."
"I don't get it," the older man chimed in.
"Me neither, Jeffrey. Me neither. As we all now, vampires are dangerous creatures. Murderers."
"They suck your blood."
"But not in these 'Twilight' movies. People, it's just wrong. Vampires are not about taking long walks on the beach, going to garden shows, and listening to Sarah McLachlan. And the young people of today need to learn this, before it's too late."
"Too late."
"Wow," Nick looked over at Greg and Archie. "Are you sure these are our bombing suspects?"
Greg handed Nick a stack of papers. "Check the DMV photos on the second page. That's them."
Nick studied the pictures intently. It certainly looked like them, though it wasn't always easy to tell on faxed driver's license pictures. He looked back at the computer to confirm their identity, but this was made more difficult by Barnes now wearing a black wig.
"Oh Edward," Barnes was saying in a high-pitched voice. "Please don't kill me! I'm just a poor, helpless girl all alone in the woods."
"Of course I won't." Patel said in a bad British accent. "I'd much rather talk about your feelings, and then watch a re-run of 'Gilmore Girls.'"
Nick glanced back at the others. Both had big grins on their faces. "In case you're keeping score," Archie said, "I'm on Team Lester and Greg is on Team Jeff."
"That's great, but did you find anything that might be useful. Say a video of them talking about the bombing or the hotel fire?"
"Actually, just about everything else on here is of their band."
"They have a band too?" Nick said incredulously. "Wait, maybe we could track down one of the other members…"
"It's just the two of them. They call themselves 'Jeffster.'"
Nick made a face. "Cute. So nothing useful?"
Archie shrugged. "There are quite a few videos. They've got a Bon Jovi, a Queen song, an acoustic Peter Paul and Mary. Oh, they've got a version of 'Who Are You' on here too. Do want to hear that one?"
"No, that's ok. Is there anything recent?"
"Well, according to the site, this was posted yesterday." Archie clicked on a link, and the screen now showed Barnes and Patel in a dark room huddled in front of the camera.
"Hey, I'm sure you have heard about our recent troubles with Johnny Law," Patel whispered into the camera. "But that doesn't mean we've forgotten about our loyal fans."
"Yeah, so we thought we'd do a special show for you, all about our recent crimes."
"Alleged crimes, Jeffrey."
"Right, alleged crimes." Barnes touched a finger to his nose, and winked.
"These guys can't be for real," Nick commented as he watched this unfold on screen. "Wait, is that a keytar?"
Barnes had produced the instrument in question. Meanwhile, Patel had just put on an oversized white jacket. Leaning into the camera, he began to sing.
"Watch out you might get what you're after
Cool baby strange but not a stranger
I'm an ordinary guy
Burning down the house."
"Does that count as a confession?" Greg wondered aloud.
"I'm not sure. But if we can't link them to the hotel fire, we've still got one crime to connect them too." Nick had never been a big fan of the Talking Heads, but he didn't see how they deserved to have this done to their songs.
The older man was now "soloing" and the camera briefly panned in on him. Behind him, Nick could see a couch with a rather ugly paisley design on it. Above the couch, Nick could just make out a seascape on the wall.
"Hold on, I think I know where that is. It's the High Road Inn down off of Route 146. We've had to process scenes there many times," he added in explanation. "I distinctly remember those couches."
"I can see why," Greg said. "Well that means they're definitely in the area. Maybe they're still there?"
"I'll call Brass, and we'll check it out."
I've never done a crossover before, so hopefully I'm not offending fans of two different shows. Please review, and let me know if this is worth continuing. It would probably be a short story (about 4 chapters).
