AN: Hi, guys!
Remember that story I promised you a while back, about Hotch finding out that Reid liked him and then Ethan comes back and all hell breaks loose in the BAU? It had Gideon taking Rossi's place for a while, and Elle coming back?
Yeah. This is it. *cue dramatic music*
Well, the epilogue anyway. I wanted to put this out, just to get the first part out of the way. It will be a case fic, but it'll be mostly character driven, and chances are you'll figure out who the unsub is in like, four chapters because it's not like I'm making that difficult. The main drama will not come from the unsub, my friends, but from our lovelies in the BAU. I'm quite looking forward to it.
I don't know how much to say without giving too much away; I'm pretty sure you all know the premise of it already:
Reid likes Hotch and tells JJ. Gideon, having come back after Rossi left on his sabbatical, figures out his protegee's crush, and Hotch finds out because of Gideon. Reid almost has a nervous break down, and Hotch and Morgan almost kill each other in the conference room (well, not really. They don't come to an actual fist fight, but damn. That would be something to see).
Ethan pays dear old Spencer a visit and almost makes Hotch flip because, fun fact of the day, Dr. Reid: Alpha males don't play well with others. Rossi is in Atlanta but will be coming back to, according to him, get away from his publisher, which strikes Emily as odd (as I think I've mentioned, I have a weird kind of crush on him so I would never send him away permanently).
Elle comes back when a friend of her's is caught in the crossfire of the latest BAU case and she is pissed, to say nothing of how Gideon feels when she turns up in his office ready for a fight. JJ and Will seem to be the only iota of stability in the whole shebang until an ex girlfriend of Will's shows up and tries to horn in, making JJ see red. And as for our resident Tech Goddess, Garcia finds herself locked in an age old debate - Are brains really more important than brawn? And what if option B - Or M, in this case - has both in spades to spare?
So, I'll leave you to your reading. I hope you enjoy it, and once I get the next couple chapters done, I'll be posting them. I'm kind of overwhelmed with school work at the moment, so just be patient with me. I want to do our boys justice, so work with me here. =)
Also, I'm undecided as to whether or not Haley will be dead in this... Though I'm leaning towards yes. I haven't made up my mind as of right now. She and Hotch might just be divorced... I dunno as of yet though. This is gonna be pretty AU, so we'll see what happens.
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it. K? K. On with the show!
Spencer Reid was what some would call a nerd. He wore pocket protectors and plaid shirts, leather loafers, and according to JJ, he'd once gelled his hair like that guy from The Big Bang Theory. Not an overtly attractive image, and add to that the fact that he knew everything there was to know about anything and he was what nerds everywhere dreamed of being. Even his name sounded nerdy.
Regardless of that, he'd managed to fit into the considerably more macho image of the FBI behavioral analysis unit reasonably well. Jason Gideon had scared the bejesus out of him the first few weeks, and Derek Morgan hadn't struck him as a nice guy. Jennifer Jareau was a stunner, throwing him into a case of love at first sight, Elle Greenaway struck him as a mother figure, accepting but with an attitude, while Penelope Garcia had been a kindred spirit who had been cut from the same cloth as he'd been. And Aaron Hotchner had been a grade A hardass from day one.
Over time, he learned that his initial impressions of them had been for the most part dead wrong. Gideon had become a mentor to him, someone he could talk to when the cases and nightmares were getting to be too much, and as long as the appropriate distance was kept, Morgan had been totally open for conversation about anything, even teaching him about sports. JJ was still a stunner but it didn't take him long to realize that he would never be her type and that they were better off as friends, even if he did occasionally ask her out to games. Garcia had become a close friend and confidant to him. Elle and Emily were separate people but eerily similar in terms of personality and he sincerely hoped that in time, he would become as close to Emily as he had Elle, before she went all vigilante.
Hotch had been a mystery since day one, a nice guy with a layer of steel in place of skin. He could see through bullshit faster than anyone Reid had ever met in his life, which was saying something considering he'd grown up in Las Vegas, and he wasn't afraid to put himself in harm's way if it meant getting the truth. Once someone was lucky enough to get to know Hotch, he was actually a sincere, loyal, nice guy, even if he could be a little intense. He'd taken to Reid quicker than anyone else had (Besides Gideon), acknowledging that the boy scientist was wise beyond his years and taking his word as law. It was because of Hotch that Reid had as much respect as he did at the BAU; anyone SSA Aaron Hotchner listened to and respected was someone the rest felt they could rely on.
He remembered the Spring Break case, when he'd come face to face with Adam and Amanda, two very different people living in one body. Adam had asked him once, 'How long does it take before you can close your eyes without seeing it?', referring to the things he'd seen. Spencer still didn't know, they'd probably haunt him for the rest of his life, images of slaughtered families and destroyed lives. His only consolation was that he'd managed to help people, and he had a solid team that he could depend on to back him.
It made the days easier, even when he was knee deep in an addiction he didn't have a choice in wanting and was treading a fine line between being able to hide it from his team and getting his boss fired for not reporting it. Outside of that though, the only things that bothered him were the hours he had to work; he had no personal life outside of his job, which bothered him some days. Some days, he was so deep in the mind of a psychopath that it was all he could do to keep his grip on himself, even when it would have been easier to give up and let himself be defeated before even coming into contact with the unsub.
One such night, Reid sat at his desk, his eyes almost blurring as he looked through files on a case they were flying out to investigate the next morning. It was well past midnight but the sun hadn't yet begun to burn it's way into the sky, and the team was exhausted. Hotch was nowhere to be see, Reid was so tired he could barely see straight where he sat at his desk, JJ was out like a light at Emily's desk, her phone clutched in her hand in case Will called, and Emily was almost asleep, a book hanging limply in her hands. Morgan was standing at the dry erase board, going over facts with Gideon, and Garcia was asleep at Derek's desk.
They'd all been up for sixteen hours straight, trying to figure out a time line for a killer that seemed to keep changing his MO, but so far the moves had all been drastic, each different than the next. One attack was done in a secluded area, and the one after's location was unknown just then but the body had been found in the alley of the busiest street in town. The fax machine in the corner came alive as most bodies were found and the local PD sent the information through to them, and if Reid's calculation was right, that brought the body and victim count up to fifteen, only four of them being found alive after being abducted.
Reid stretched back in his chair and heard his back crack, then picked up another file folder. The smell of coffee hit his nose, and Reid looked beside him as a Starbucks coffee cup slid into his vision. He looked back and saw the exhausted looking Hotch standing behind him, holding a coffee tray.
"You, sir, are a god.", Reid said by way of thanks as he inhaled half the coffee in one go. Hotch chuckled, leaning against Reid's desk.
"You looked like you could use it.", Hotch answered. The senior agent looked worse for ware, a state that Aaron Hotchner didn't often get in to. He'd forgone his suit jacket and the cuffs of his dress shirt had been rolled up. Reid was astounded to notice that he'd even kicked off his shoes.
"I could and do, I'm running on empty. This case has wrung everything out of me and it hasn't even started yet. What time are we leaving tomorrow?", Reid asked. He took a quick stock of his own clothing in comparison to his superior, and noticed that somewhere between midnight and whatever time it was then, he too had kicked off his shoes under his desk. He'd run his hands through his hair so many times that it looked like he'd just stepped out of a wind tunnel, and he'd rolled his sleeves up.
"Eight o'clock tomorrow, or this morning, and we're all going to be exhausted. I'm just about to wake JJ, Emily and Garcia up and send them home.", Hotch advised, clearing the sand and sleep from his eyes. Reid momentarily noticed the dark rings around his supervisor's eyes.
Reid set the coffee cup down, then rubbed his own eyes. "Good idea, I'll help you wake them up. I wanted to run a theory by Gideon anyway, something about this case is bothering me. I think this guy is trying to minutely alter his methods with each attack, but he's leaving a specific signature. I mean, they all lived within a mile radius of each other, that can't just be coincidence-"
"Reid, I meant for you to go home too. You need rest.", Hotch told him as the doctor stood.
"I can sleep on the plane, I never sleep the night before a case anyway. Too jumpy I guess.", Reid told him. "Morgan's awake so he can wake up Garcia. You take Emily, I'll take JJ?"
"Deal. But I want you to make sure you at least get some sleep within the next forty eight hours, Reid. God knows we get little enough sleep as it is in this job.", Hotch agreed reluctantly. "Don't go killing yourself for this case."
"I will and I wont, I promise. And anyway, my staying here works out well. JJ needs to get home to Will and Henry, and Emily and Garcia live in the same neighborhood. I'm pretty sure I heard Morgan say he was going to give them a ride home, which means he'll more than likely spend the night at Garcia's place, so at least half the team will be well rested.", Reid denied, then walked over to where JJ was sleeping. He nudged her gently to wake her up. "JJ, come on, time to go home."
"Hm? Spence?", JJ yawned, her eyes opening slightly.
"Yeah, it's me. You need to go home and check on that godson of mine.", Reid told her cheerfully, all the while his eyes felt heavy.
"I'm up, I'm up... What time is it?", JJ asked while Hotch woke up Emily.
"Some ungodly hour. I'm afraid to check it, to be honest.", Reid laughed. JJ laughed sleepily and stood up. She looked at the coffee in Reid's hand longingly.
"God I miss coffee. Giving it up has caused more stress then actually drinking it.", JJ complained, shrugging her coat on.
"With your blood pressure, Jayje, you know it was the best option. You going to be okay driving home?", Reid asked.
"Yeah, I'll be okay. I live twenty minutes away, remember?", JJ answered. "Alright, I'll see you guys tomorrow on the plane. Any news-"
"You'll be the first call I make. Good night, JJ." JJ waved in reply as she walked out of the meeting room, and Reid turned back to see Morgan shouldering his coat as Garcia leaned on him, still half asleep. Emily looked half asleep still and yawned while the trio walked out, giving their farewells as they left. Even Derek, the all nighter veteran, looked weighted down by a lack of sleep.
Reid turned and walked into Hotch's office to find him sitting at his desk. He saw the senior agent checking his phone before rubbing his eyes to clear the sleep from them.
"What've we got, Hotch?", Reid asked, leaning against the desk tiredly.
"A whole lot of nothing. I can't get a handle on this guy, he just keeps changing.", Hotch sighed, his head in his hands. The senior agent looked at the board Gideon stared at through his office window, then looked away with a sigh. Reid took his coffee and offered it to Hotch silently. While Hotch took a sip, his own having been finished by the time he'd given Reid his, Reid looked at the board.
"Something about this is unsub bothering the hell out of me, I just can't pin it down.", Reid mused.
"They all bother me these days, Reid. Every psychopath we come across, they all make my skin crawl.", Hotch replied, sounding drained as he held Reid's coffee in his hands.
"You alright, Hotch?", Reid asked. Hotch usually was the epitome of professionalism, and the sound of his voice reminded Reid of the sound of a man who's giving up. It reminded him of his father, a comparison Reid would never willingly make. As far as Spencer Reid was concerned, Hotch was twice the man his father was.
"Yeah, I just... Do you ever think of giving it up, Reid?", Hotch asked.
"What'd you mean?"
"I mean hanging up the profiling, moving on."
"No. I've gone through some terrible things, we all have. We see it every day. But I have never considered walking away. No matter what, at the end of the day, I love this job, the work we do, and I love this team. Why? Have you?", Reid answered firmly while shifting uncomfortably. It was a lie, and Reid knew it was a lie, but he still thanked his lucky stars that Hotch was too tired to notice the blatant lie of his subordinate. It may've been a lie, but it was worth it to make sure that part of his life remained a part of the BAU's worst kept secret.
"I'm getting old, Reid. I've already blown any chance I had of having a normal family, but maybe it's not too late to have a social life. I'd miss the team and the job but there's only so long you can handle the nightmares, the crazies we're face to face with every day. Is it too much to ask for a normal life?", Hotch asked. "My son is turning five, Reid. Five. Where have the five years gone?"
"Hotch, first of all, you're not old. I mean, you're forty five. Rossi's pushing his late fifties and he's still one of the best. And look at Gideon! He's nearing sixty and hasn't fallen yet."
Except for the nervous break downs, but there was an unwritten rule that those weren't talked about. Ever.
"And yes, this job can create a strain on your social life, but no one is stopping you from having one. This job, it requires you to live it, to give all of yourself to it. You can't help that. You knew that when you signed up.", Reid told him gently. "As for a normal family, in this day and age, normal is relative. It's what you make it. You've got an amazing son, a great sister in law, a brother, and a team that loves you. I'd say that's a pretty healthy social life, Hotch. And whether he's five or fifty, you'll always have Jack."
"Thanks, Reid.", Hotch gave him a small smile.
"Listen, why don't you go for a walk to clear your head?", Reid suggested. "Maybe you'll get a flash of inspiration. It usually helps me think."
"That's actually a really good idea. If I stare at that board any longer, I think I'm going to go blind. I'll be right back/ If Jason asks tell him I've just stepped out for a couple minutes.", Hotch told him then stood up from his desk and threw his coat on over his shoulders and stepped into his shoes.
"We'll be here.", Reid promised. "And Hotch? I'm twenty-eight and I still want to run to my mom when life starts to suck. You've still got all the time in the world to be Jack's superhero so don't worry about him being five. If he's half as strong as you, he'll be fine." Hotch smiled silently. Reid watched the senior agent walk out and let out a quiet sigh, then turned and walked next to Gideon, who's eyes had left the board and were focused on Reid's face. Reid was deep in his own mind and didn't notice the searching look on his boss' face, a mistake that he would probably regret later.
Yeah, Spencer Reid was a nerd, which should have been his first tip off that he was in trouble when he met Aaron Hotchner. As much Reid had tried to avoid it, a crush on the senior agent had been a dreaded possibility the minute the two met. But, like most chick flicks he wouldn't admit to watching, he had walked into a crush on the man with eyes wide open and knowing that no matter how smart they were, outside of the movies, the nerd never got the guy.
AN: That's it, guys. This is mainly filler, just to provide an opening scene for when the really fun stuff starts up. I'm not overly thrilled with it, but I promise, the rest will be better.
As always, everybody, any comments, questions or concerns? Lemme know. I always want to know what I'm doing right or wrong with my writing. I just hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. =)
Ta for now, loves!
Much love,
Oracle. (L)
