Warning:
Major AU
Major OOCNESS
Language
Possible typos/writing errors
I own NOTHING
Flames will be used to cook Fazbear's pizza
X.X
Alright, let's get this thing done and over with." Bonnie said as he dragged the cursor across the Tumblr page and clicked the search bar. "So what was it again?"
"Uhh." Freddy quickly brought out his phone and re-read the text message he received from Mike earlier in the day. "'Five Nights at Freddy's nsfw'." he replied.
"Five... Nights... at... Freddy's... nsfw... Aaaand search." the purple rabbit then clicked the search button and leaned back in his chair as he waited for the results to load. "I swear, the internet here is crap." he said.
"Well we don't exactly have the greatest WiFi, you know." Chica said.
"Hey, Freddy?" Foxy suddenly asked, "Can you show me that text, again?" Freddy sighed and reluctantly brought out his phone once more.
"Here it is." he said.
To: Freddy
Sent from: Mike
Dude, Freddy, you are NOT going to believe what my friend showed me. Look up "Five Nights at Freddy's nsfw" on tumblr and you'll see what I mean. Holy crap.
-Save me from my job, plz.
"Snap." Foxy said. "Really does sound bad. And here I thought he was overreacting, like always."
"It's done." Bonnie said as he leaned forward. The others quickly huddled around him and curiously gazed at the screen as it finish loading up. What they saw next would forever scar them for the rest of their lives. Even though they're practically animatronics who are forced to sing for five year olds during the day, but what are you gonna do?
"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK!?" Freddy screamed as he gazed at the R rated images before him.
"MY EYES! MY EYES!" Foxy screamed.
Chica was frantically trying to cover her eyes while screaming like a frickin banshee. Bonnie practically fainted on the spot as soon as he saw the first image of him. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave that to your imagination.
"KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! KILL IT ALL, MY EEEEEEEEEEYES!" Foxy wailed. Knowing that he was going to have nightmares now. Without another word, Freddy grabbed the creepy cupcake that was present on the desk and smashed it repeatedly against the computer.
"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! THE POWER OF FAZBEAR'S PIZZA COMPELS YOU! DIE! DIE! DIE!" he screamed. Eventually, he pulled the monitor from the desk and ran to the dining hall, where he tossed it out the window and watched it land in the middle of the road before it was struck by an oncoming semi and then catching on fire before getting smashed by a piano that randomly fell from the sky.
Go figure.
Freddy stood panting behind the shattered window while his friends slowly joined him. "Is it...is it dead? Is the demon-spawn dead?" Chica whimpered.
Freddy closed his eyes and sighed heavily in relief. "Yes, Chica. It's dead."
"What the hell was that thing?" Bonnie asked shakely. Still shocked by what he'd just seen, even though he was unconscious most of the time.
"I believe that would be the result of the internet being its usual self." Freddy replied.
"WHY WOULD PEOPLE MAKE STUFF LIKE THAT!?" Chica cried.
"I don't know." Freddy said. "But what I do know is that the internet is a terrible place, and needs to be avoided at all costs. Agreed?"
"Agreed." the others replied.
"But what I want to know," Foxy said next, "is why most of them were of me and Mike? I mean seriously. What do these people take for? I know I'm sexy and all, but still."
"Who said anything about you being the sexy one?" Freddy asked. "It's quite obvious that I'm the only sexy one, here. Kiddies love me." he added a bit smugly. Foxy snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Says the one with the 'Are you ready for Freddy' jazz."
Freddy narrowed his eyes at the fox. "What does that suppose to mean?" he asked. Foxy folded his arms over his chest.
"I'm just saying that you're jealous of me because the fans love me more. For Pete's sake, half of them probably have me as their waifu!"
"I think Foxy has a point here, Freddy." Bonnie said.
"SHUT UP, BONNIE!" Freddy snapped over his shoulder, glaring daggers at the purple rabbit. Bonnie jumped a bit in fear before nodding.
"Yes, senpai." he murmured.
Freddy nodded in approval and turned his attention back to the pirate fox. "Anyway, what you're saying about me being jealous is a bunch of bs! You're the one who's jealous because you're almost never in the spotlight Mr. "I thought it would be funny if I bit someone's frontal lobe off"!"
Foxy curled his lips and snarled at the bear, his tail swishing violently behind him. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! I thought we agreed we'd never speak of that day again! And besides, the guy was making funny faces at me."
"He was just teasing Foxy." Freddy groaned.
"I find it funny how they suddenly changed the subject from nsfw fan art of us to "The Bite of '87"." Chica whispered to Bonnie while the two continued to fight. Bonnie nodded.
"I'd honestly rather look up nsfw fan art of us than having to listen to these idiots fight." he said with a half-lidded gaze.
"You're just saying that because you have a thing for Freddy." Chica said with a giggle.
"Shut up."
"AND BECAUSE OF YOU, THE PLACE HAD TO BE CLOSED FOR A WHOLE MONTH! DO REMEMBER HOW BORING THAT WAS!?" Freddy screamed. "We should be lucky that we had a tv at the time!"
"Yeah." Foxy agreed. "A tv that you broke!"
(Recently added stuff below)
Freddy opened his maw to say something back, but closed it when he had nothing to say. "... Those talking ponies scared me..." he muttered, remembering how he punched the television screen.
"You wanna know what's scary?" Chica asked while staring off into space.
"What?" the three boy animatronics replied.
"..." Chica blinked a few times before looking at the trio in front of her. "... The hardcore roleplayers of us on YouTube..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
The animatronics throw their heads back and scream in utter horror.
*ASDF Video voice*
The End
X.X
... Welp! Behold!
One of my ORIGINAL uncompleted Fnaf fanfics. Unedited. Unchanged (save for the new content). Now mind you that this was written during the early days of FNAF. And since it's the one year anniversary of FNAF I figured "why the heck not?"
And this wasn't supposed to offend anyone. I made it to be silly because I wanted to guess how Freddy and his groupies would react if they saw FNAF nsfw art -w- (And I know Foxy is NOT responsible for the Bite of '87. Remember that this was written when the FIRST game was still out.)
Happy Anniversary FNAF! :D
