Warning: Spoilers for episodes 44-48, read at your own risk; implied self-sacrifice and severe wounds
Disclaimer: J-Decker is property of Sunrise/Takara. I'm not earning money through this or any of my other fanfics.
The spear through your chest damages vital parts of your energy system. You heave, you gasp in pain. You push, accelerating along the wound to get an opening at the Fahrzeugs – to get the others an opening for attack. You accept that they will hit you this way too and you don't care. It's the only way.
Deckerd still hesitates, the idiot, and the others will only act on his command. Too empathic, too good, he even cares for you despite your crimes; despite what you have done to him. The idea strenghtens your voice when you yell at him to shoot.
He mustn't be lost. They mustn't be lost. They have to live.
The raw intensity of their combined weapon power - finally - hits the Fahrzeugs' combat robot dead on; destroys as a side effect most of the mess that were once wires and fuel lines, cogs and hydraulics in your body. And after plummeting hundreds of meter, the impact on the water does the rest to your systems.
You cannot move. The criminal Victim O'Rand wonders why he feels so accomplished, staring up where he assumes the surface is. Was the sacrifice worth the pain? But even he sounds strangely calm, before he slowly merges back with you.
– knowing that you have helped save the world from the Fahrzeugs, saved the Brave Police –
– that they are strong enough, the only result can be that they have escaped the collapsing fortress –
You don't question anymore. You just feel glad. Without regrets.
Your mind has become clear for the first time since you can remember. Maybe some part of the deeds you committed stemmed purely from yourself, or at least could have been avoided if you had fought harder, noticed sooner what had been done to you. None of that matters anymore.
The Fahrzeug's influence has completely broken. Here, at the bottom of the ocean, robotic body instead of organic flesh, battered and broken – you are yourself again.
You are, finally, at peace.
