My Heart's Explosive

By AllzStar

Author's Note: If you have not heard the song "Semi-Precious Weapons" by the band Semi Precious Weapons, then you are missing out. Freaking listen to it. NOW. Thanks. :)

Chapter One – I Can't Pay My Rent But I'm Fucking Gorgeous

The noise is deafening, grating on my eardrums, sending tremors throughout my entire body. I hoist myself up higher, the unused muscles in my elbows screaming in protest, open my mouth and yell right back at the metal monster careening on the track above me, its metal wheels carving sparks that fly off into the night and burn out like dead fireflies. My hair is almost straight on end as the wind from the beast above me kicks it up; my forehead, so used to being unexposed, is getting some unexpected light.

Finally, the noise dies, and the train skitters away, screeching and chugging along the trestle. My scream dies along with it, cutting off to a half-hearted whine. I let out a long breath and then suck it back in hungrily, my lungs crying out for air. I turn to the elf-like boy beside me, his smile revealing a sharp incisor and a crooked front tooth, his blond hair rumpled and tousled and standing out every which way. A nervous pat to my head tells me that my hair is in the same condition.

"You look like fucking wolverine." Kenny McCormick is grinning like the Cheshire Cat, even as he takes a long swig from his beer can, downing at least a third of it in a few gulps. He exhales sharply when he finishes and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand, and proceeds to wipe that on his already grubby jeans. The blond impish boy is my best friend and worst enemy. He's the biggest douche-bag in this town (other than me, of course), and has a rep for his tough love attitude.

But I've known him long enough that I can see through his tough exterior to his inner core, which, of course, isn't soft and pink, whatever some girls might think. But he's really smart and insightful. And he notices everything. And I mean everything. Like the fact that whenever I was in the locker room at school my eyes dipped only very slightly downward at the guys standing next to me.

I shrug and take a sip from my own beer. "Whatever. He's cool."

"I meant you look cool."

"Huh. Sounded like an insult."

"No, you just take everything that way."

I glare at him. "What's your problem, skid mark?"

"My problem is," Kenny declares, pushing up on his toes to peer above the trestle, "the next train doesn't come for another hour."

"Fuck." I remember the euphoric feeling of the train roaring above me as I scream right back at it, and sigh. "What are we gonna do for an hour?"

"Get fucking wasted," Kenny hoots, sipping his beer to prove his point.

I raise my eyebrow at him. "If we get any more drunk we won't be able to hold ourselves up when the train comes."

Kenny props his elbow on his knee, his ass resting in the crook of the wood architecture of the trestle. I look down at him from my perch a foot above him, swinging my feet absentmindedly. "Then they all fall down," Kenny singsongs off-key, twiddling his fingers back and forth.

I look down at where the supports for the trestle meet the river; at the churning black water waiting for us at the bottom. I shiver and pull my already damp hoodie around me tighter. It was a stupid idea to swim to the trestle instead of just taking a fucking canoe. When I voice this to Kenny, he shrugs and says: "We'll make it more interesting next time and skinny dip."

I blush. I turn away, trying desperately to hide it. But what did I tell you about Kenny noticing everything?

He smiles widely. "You wanna see my cock, Tucker?"

"No," I snap, "you can keep your three-inch in your pants, thanks very much."

He throws his lovely head back and laughs, his ash blond hair streaking elegantly from his head. "You'd love to know how long my dick actually is," he says, his brown eyes flashing dangerously, "wouldn't you, Tucker?"

"Nope. Don't care to."

"I bet you anything it's longer than yours."

"So what if it is?"

He laughs again, but it's a short barking laugh that's humourless. "It would piss you off so bad if my cock was longer than yours."

"No it wouldn't," I shrug. "I'm happy with my penis the way it is."

"Yeah, and that's why you're a virgin," Kenny says, tossing his empty beer can into the river below. It hits the water with a metallic thwack.

"I'm not a virgin," I sat casually. "You know that. You of all people should know that."

"What I walked in on was not you fucking. I don't even know what it was."

"My penis was inside her vagina."

"No, it wasn't."

"Okay, well maybe you missed it, then." I smile suddenly. "You were probably too bust looking at my cock to notice."

"Fuck you." Kenny's smile has vanished. "I couldn't see your dick."

"Right. Because it was inside her."

Kenny scoffs and cracks open his fourth beer. "Whatever. It doesn't count if you weren't into it."

"Who says I wasn't into it?" I ask, one eyebrow raised. "I came."

"So? Guys never fake it," Kenny says wisely. "And at your age, having sex for the first time could mean you'd fuck a stuffed animal and cum."

"I enjoyed it. Okay?"

"You'd enjoy it more if it was a dude, though, right?"

I glare at him and flip him off angrily. "Fuck you."

"No, you're right," Kenny says, sipping his beer. "You'd prefer it in the ass. I get it."

"I'm not a fag, asswipe. Lay off."

"You are," Kenny observes. "But it's okay. I won't tell anyone."

"I'm not gay!"

"Fuck you, you're not gay. You want to kiss me right now, don't you?"

"No, right now I want to push you into the river."

"Oh, hold on. Let me take my clothes off first."

I reach down, fist swinging. Kenny, with surprising agility, grabs my arm and pulls me down to his level. I almost fall clean off the support, my heart pumping wildly as I'm faced with the black death churning below me, but Kenny steadies me on the beam. His fingers curl around the scruff of my hoodie, pulling me close. His nose is almost touching mine.

"Now do you want to kiss me?"

I clamber for words, searching, raking, but none come. I swallow roughly and inhale, exhale, inhale, as his eyes mesh into one as he gets closer in closer.

And then he's kissing me.

He smells of ginger and vanilla and tobacco and beer, all mixing together to make a sickeningly sweet perfume that is strictly Kenny. His lips are rough and chapped, but I'm fucked if he's not a good kisser. His mouth moves easily over mine. My brain is frozen in time, trying to process what's happening here. Finally, it clicks.

And I freak out.

Sure, I've been dreaming about kissing Kenny McCormick for months now, but I never thought it would be like this.

My hands reach to clutch at his shirt, pulling him closer to me. His hands go from my hoodie to my head, locking in my hair, pulling my face almost into his. Our noses crash together painfully, but neither of us really notices. His tongue prods at my teeth, and with a soft groan I let him in. He dominates immediately, pushing me against the wooden support, grinding his lean body down onto mine. He is shorter and smaller than me, so this strength is unexpected. But I've never been more turned on.

My face feels like it's covered in saliva, but I couldn't care less. Kenny's kisses are intoxicating, nauseating—mind-blowing earth-shattering ecstasy. And we're only at...second base.

"Fuck," I groan as Kenny's hand dives for my crotch, rubbing my growing bulge through my jeans. I grind up into his hand, wanting more, wanting all.

Kenny feels my need, and then—

It stops.

Kenny pulls away, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. He stares at me with that shit-eating grin of his that I hate so much, then turns away from me, flinging his arms out to the sides. Then he leaps off the beam and dives down, down, down...

He lands in the black water with a soft splash, the spraying water glittering like diamonds in the moonlight.

His head pops out of the water and he calls up to me: "Better get naked, Tucker. Because we're fucking skinny-dipping."

TBC...