Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter. It belong to J.K. Rowling and I'm not make money with this fanfic.

Pairing : Harry/Draco

Warning : It contain M/M relationship, so if you don't like yaoi please don't read it.


I Hate You But.. I Love You

You know what? The first time I ever saw you in this very first magical place that I ever step on, you stole my breath away. I saw you standing there calmly, waiting for Madam Malkin to do her job for you. Your beautiful face lit in arrogance and pride, your golden hair shine as the sunshine worship it and your white pale skin glowed beautifully on the expensive robe you wore. But what captive me the most was your confidence on your slight smile. I can't tear my eyes away from you, not at all until you spoke to me for the first time.

You captive me more as your melodic voice ring on my ears. The softest and the most beautiful voice that I ever heard, just like an angel voice. But in that very moment too you destroyed my beautiful fantasy I had on you. My adoration on you disappeared fast, as fast as the sand being blow by the wind. The moment you spoke to me, I know very well that I don't like you.

And there's the moment I met you again in Hogwarts Express. I thought my dislike on you wouldn't increase but again I wrong on my opinion. You bad mouth on my first real friend that I ever had and in that very moment I realize, I'm not only 'don't like you' but 'I hate you'. In that very moment I'm not only refused your hand in friendship but I put down my crush on you. Oh, my, how fast my first fucking loved changed into my very hateful rival. My fucking rival at least for six and half year on my study in Hogwarts. How wonderful, right? Damn for my luck. Though as a child I never knew that the feeling I had on you that day was love.

From that day on I know that I can't ever like you in slightness. We fought everytime we met, you and your gang with me and my bestfriends. You always get on my nerve, making me angry everytime we speak or even just bump on each other. You always tried to beat me in every way and pick on me. You sneer and play a prank on my expanse. And you know what, it just increase my hate on you. I hate you in earnests until sometimes I hope you're gone from my very life and never come into my life from the beginning.

Sometimes without my consciousness, I always was looking for you. Either when I was in the great hall, library or in the hall. I always looking for your presence as you always pestered me everywhere I go. I thought the reason I always search for you was because I had to aware for your prank and spies but now I thought more closely, I looking for you just because I miss your presence when you're not there. You always be there everywhere I go and when you're not there I missing it. Not that I would admit it out loud of course. Who do you think I am to admit it to you or my entire friends? I bet you would become more arrogance than before and you're arrogance enough to be compare with the entire people in the world.

The second time you stole my breath away was the moment I saw you in tears on my sixth grade. Your gray eyes fill with tears, made it glowing and so expressive. The vulnerable in your eyes made me wish to gather you in my arms and protect you from the entire world. But when you begin to lash on me, my new feeling on you disappeared and changed itself back become the hatred that I felt for you all this time.

Now, everything was back to normal. As normal as me, Harry Potter, The boy who lives, that ever gets of course. As Voldemort vanished from this very world for the last time (I hope never back to live anymore or I swear I'll kill myself for him) I lives my life as I wish for the first time. No one controlling my life anymore and I'm free to made my own choose too.

All this time, I never realize that I love you. That thought never seep on my mind, especially when Voldemort always pestered hotly on my back. But now when I have all the time I need to think back, relishing every memories I ever had, from my childhood till now, I realize that you always be the brightest spot in my mind. Though the bad or good, the funny and the saddest, you always be there and for that my heart always choose you among anybody else. I'm in love with you all this time but I never realized it.

And if I sincere to my heart, you're the most perfect figure that I ever saw. From the tip of your blonde hair to your toe. You're perfect, I never saw someone so perfect and wonderful as you are. But hey, though I fought with you, I still could adore you in secret, can't I? As long as nobody know about it, right? Yeah, maybe.

I smile slightly as I watching every people who comes and gone in Diagon Alley. I sat here for an hour or so in this coffee shop to pass my peaceful day, until..

"Potter." You hiss my name as your grey eyes slit at my presence. I sigh softly, suddenly feel tired and weary.

"Malfoy." I greet back my secret crush from I'm eleven years old till now. He arched his perfect eyebrow at me as he heard weariness on my voice.

"What the almighty, the boy who lives and the famous Harry Potter sat here all alone without companion? No one good enough for you? Not even the Weasel girl?" he sneer at me. And in my glorious moment, a vein pop in my temple as he bad mouth one of the members of the family I ever had.

"Shut up, Malfoy. It's not your business who I go with. The Weasley always too good to be compared to you." I snapped back at him. Oh Merlin, how easy for him to made me angry. He just need opened his mouth and snap, here I am snarling like a dog at him. 'Great Harry. And here you're when you though that you're always in love with him.' I stop the urge to roll my eyes for my own thought and decide to glare at him hotly. I stopped my glare at him for a moment as his eyes fill with hurts just for awhile before it's gone as fast as it comes into his eyes.

"Compared to me? So you've been thinking of me all the time, Potter? I'm flattered. Harry Potter think of me and thought that I'm good enough for his companion?" He smirk smugly as I gaped at him dumbfully. Red fills my face, either from angry or shame. Well maybe both.

"I never thought like that, Malfoy." I gritted my teeth as I hiss my words. 'You're always on my mind.' I groan inward as my mind countered my every words I said to the beautiful man in front of me back at me. I exhales sharply, trying to contain my anger and irritation. Both for the beautiful man in front of me and for myself.

"Oh? I wonder if I heard the wrong sentences then." Draco answered absentmindedly. I groan at his reply as I put my forehead on my palm, suddenly a headache throbbed on my head. 'Why can't he meet me in peace. Talk like a common people, not sneer and snide at me all the time.'

"What do you want, Malfoy?" I asked him in defeat as I gesture him a seat in front of me. He smirk widely as he grab a chair and sit down.

"Nothing. Just wanna say hi." He answered back.

"It's your way to say hi?" I gapped at him in wonder. "What are you, Mars? No wonder you always fight with everybody. You're greeting like fishing a fight with everyone." Harry growled at him.

"Well, it's my way. I like it that way. Take it or leave it." He shrugged his slim shouldered lightly. I groan loudly at him.

"Oh Merlin, no wonder everyone always fight with you. Can't you be more common in anything?" I asked in desperate tone. My weariness increased everytime I speak to him.

"No, of course, that's because I'm not a commoners. I'm a Malfoy." He smirk in proud before he chuckles as I throw my hand up. I turn up my face as I heard the beautiful voice I miss so much. His beautiful face lit brightly and relax as his pink lips curve in a perfect bow as he chuckles. His silky hair being tousled by the wind, caressing it softly as the way I longed to do it by my own hand. I smile softly before I sigh for the umpteenth time since fifteen minutes.

"Yeah, yeah. You're a Malfoy and you're strange." I said as I roll my eyes. Oh, for your information, after he and his family help me in Malfoy Manor in my last encounter with Voldemort, we kinda tolerate each other.

"I'm not strange. You are. Sighing and glowering alone in this bright day and doing nothing just sipping a tea not even eating anything." He rolls his eyes back at me as he gestures his hand on the table. I looked around to realize that what he said was true. I grin sheepishly at him as I scratches my head.

"I'm thinking and I guess I'm to engross with my thought that I forget about time and all." I smile goofily at him in shame.

"And you said I'm strange? Weirdo." He snorted at me.

"Hey! That's unfair! That's not weird for people to pass their time just thinking and enjoying the day in silence." I try to defend myself.

"Depressed, you mean?" he scoff at me lightly before he rolls his eyes. "Oh, come on, Potter. What did you think so hard anymore? You're a hero, the boy who lives. No one would deny you anything if you asked something. You can have anybody and anything you want to without hardness. And here you are, staying here in this desert coffeshop doing nothing just brooding?" he sighs at me in annoyance.

"I'm not depressed." I answered back in irritation. "I told you the truth. When Voldemort hot on my heel, I couldn't thought about my life. I always think about how I could stay alive and protect everyone dear for me. Now that I had the peace on my life and think back how much loss that I experience just because of a fool prophesy. My family, my childhood, my friends and my mentor." I explained at him as my thought begin to wander one more time. "But, except for the loss, I get some precious experience too from it. A patience for every decision and steps I would make and a gratefulness for every little thing I had." He listened to me patiently before I glance at him slightly.

He nodded slightly as he sighs himself. "I know what you feel. That last time experience made us more mature. It teaches us about how precious a little time for us and how precious our life. It teaches us how wrong to differentiate anybody just by blood. Well, it's always be a hard years for everybody including you and me." He answered back in solemn.

I stayed silent as I watching his every move. His slight turn face as he lost in his thought, looking nowhere as he replay every memories in the past. I stare at him in awe, he's more beautiful than before and he's maturing too, not just physically but mentally too. He has a longer hair than before, his bang framing his small face, making him more attractive and lovely but lonely.

He turn his head back at me as he blink his eyes rapidly. He smile wistfully at me before he raise his hand to call a waitress. I look at him intently, absorbing every move and elegant gesture he did in my mind. Saving this little precious memory on my very heart and mind. The way his hands move, his posture, his way as he sit in front of me, his body movement even the way his hair brush his cheeks and shoulder as he waiting for the waitress to come.

He look at me staring at him. He quirk his eyebrow at me before he wink naughtily. I turn my face fast as blush arise to my cheeks. My heart beat faster as I take a sip on my tea. He smirk at me as he leaned his face into his palm, he's clearly staring at my face. I quirk back my eyebrow at him as I put down my cup.

"What are you doing?" I asked him as I staring back straight at his face.

"Staring at you." He answered to the point at me. I gapped at his answered as blush flown into my face one more time. I scowl at him but before I can answered him back, a waiter come at our table.

"You calling me, Sir?" she asked sweetly as she smile at us. He nodded absentmindedly as he divert his attention to the brunette girl beside us.

"Yes, I would like to order an apple pie with a cup of assam tea." He said with a slight smile at her. She blush lightly as she write down his order. "Would you like to eat something, Harry?" he purr slightly as he mention my name.

"I..I'd like a shepherd pie. Thanks." I said as I duck my head on the menu in front of me. Ordering the first food I saw in there due to my nervousness. 'Damn his flirtation.' I groan inwardly at the beautiful man in front of me. 'You want some flirt, fine. I'll get your challenge.' I thought smugly.

"Let me repeat it. An apple pie with a cup of assam tea and a shepherd pie in order?" she looked up from his paper to get our affirmation. We nodded together, agreeing with her words. "Okay, your order will be delivered in ten minutes. Would you like anything else?" she asked with a big smile in her red lips as she wink at me.

"No, thanks. That's all." I said at her with a frown on my brow. 'Why did everybody seems to like to flirt with me?' I thought in blanch. I look at the man before me and found out that he glare at the retreat girl. A smirk begin to bloom on my lips as I put my chin on my palm at the table. "Someone get a jealousy I guess." I smile at him sweetly. He divert his glare to me as he slit his eyes on me.

"Excuse me?" he said as he cross his arms before his chest.

"Are you jealous, Draco?" I purr at him softly. My eyes looking straight at him, watching his every movement as he answered my question.

"No. Why should I?" he answered in bored tone as he puff his breath away in annoying matter. I quirk my brow at his statement.

"Then why're you glaring at her as you wish to pummel her into a pulp?" I snickered as his growl at me.

"Of course I am. Did she don't understand the signal you gave her before. It's bold enough that you tell her that 'YOU DON'T LIKE HER'. And beside she try to touch someone of mine." He answered in the matter of fact as he smirks at me. I hold my breath at his answer in awe. Awe at his boldness and confidence. I snort loudly before I laugh out loud. He smiles softly at me as I tried to hold my laugh at bay.

"I can't believe you said that." I snicker lightly as I swipe the tears on my cheeks.

"What? I can see it on your body language that you definitely in love with me. Why shouldn't I say it in front of your face since you expertly on denying it?" He rolls his eyes in frustration.

"How can you said that?" I quirk my brow at him in playful manner.

"What? That you'll deny every feeling you had for me? Oh come on, Potter, answer me truthfully now. Since when you fall in love with me?" he asked me. A challenge shone in his gray eyes. I bit my lower lip as I'm thinking about the answer. Should I answer him truthfully or not? I glance at him before I frown deeply. 'Well, since he's sincere with his feeling too, I guess I owe him sincerity too.'

"I don't really know. Maybe since the first time I ever saw you." I wink at him. He gasped at my answer, not expecting that I would be honest with him before blushing prettily as he ducks his face down. I grin at his reaction, but before I can do anything else the waiter back with our meal.

"This is your order. Sorry to keep you waiting. An apple pie with a cup of assam tea." She said as she put the food before Draco. "And the last, this is the shepherd pie. Anything else I could help you, gentleman?" she said playfully as she put the pie in front of me.

"No thank you. That's all. If we need something else, we'll call you later." I answered smoothly as I smile at her.

"Okay. Please call me if you need something else." She said as she winks at me one more time. I sigh loudly before I look back at the fascinated figure in front of me, at my fallen angel.

"What?" he snaps at me as he sips his tea, not really accepting his defeat at me.

"You're beautiful when you're blushing. Can I kiss you?" I said in matter of fact as I put back my chin on my palm in the table as I staring at his full pink lips. He blush again as he gaped at my boldness. 'Well, who said it's only you who can be bold.' I thought in satisfaction. 'It's great to be honest.' I grin goofily at my thought.

"You're impossible." He groan as he knead his forehead in his palm, blush still marring his beautiful face, making it more beautiful than before.

"Why? You asked, I'm answered. You asked me to give you the truth now I gave what you asked me. I'm being honest with you with my feeling. So, can I kiss you?" I move my chair slightly, crossing our already short distance before I leaned slightly on the round table as I whispered on his ear. He glances at me before he swallows hard. He push me slightly as he turn his head back, opening his slim and white neck at me as he begin to open his mouth to say something.

Alas for any words he plan on saying at me, a gasp come out from his lips as I kiss the smooth skin of his neck slightly. "Harry? What are you doing?" his blush rise anew as he push me harder but not enough to knock me out of my chair. He looks at me nervously as he glances around us. I glance around following his eyes as I saw every person near our table gaped at my flirtation, not believe that Harry Potter is flirting with a Slytherin and a Malfoy too. A traitor and a suspect of the death eater.

"Kissing you of course. I've asked your permission before, don't I?" I said as I smile at him as I rise my tea cup on my lips.

"I haven't said yes to you too, don't I?" He hisses at me.

"You don't say no too and I definitely already gave you enough time to answer. You don't say anything I take it as yes." I smile brightly. 'Now you know that I'm in love with you, it would be better that everybody know that you're mine and I'll make sure you can't refuse me. Not you would either.' I looked around as every male near us staring at the still blushing man before me. I growl slightly in possessive act at that annoying fact. Draco definitely too beautiful for his own good, especially when he's blushing.

"You.." he start before he stop abruptly. "Oh my, someone is becoming brave and bold now. So, you're claiming me now?" he licks his lips slightly. His little tongue popped up slightly as it swept on his lips, wetting it and making it redder and alluring than before. I can't avert my eyes from his now red lips.

"You know already that I love you, why can't I claim you as mine now since you already told me by yourself that I'm yours." I whispered at him huskily as I kiss his ears softly.

"Hmm.. True enough." He purred at me as he tilt his head slightly, giving me a way to explore his smooth neck. I grin widely as I kiss his neck softly before I grab his face and kiss him hard on his lips. He kisses me back with a grin paste on his lips. I lick his bottom lips to ask him an entrance. He obediently opens his mouth for me to invade. I thrust my tongue at his warm cave as I explore his mouth, finding every sensitive spot that can make him moan and arouse before I engage his soft tongue to clash with me.

I wish I could kiss him all the time, but when I finally released his sweet mouth we are loss our breath. We panting hard as we let the air back on our lung as we smile at each other. Without my consciousness I already grab him from his seat. Our forehead touch each other as he sit on my lap, straddling my thighs as I clash our nose at each other softly before I kiss his mouth chastely one more time.

"Your place or mine?" I asked him as I dove my head back into the curve of his neck, kissing and biting it lightly.

"Yours. But not after we finished our meal. I'm starving." He said as he cups the back of my head with his hand, gripping my hair tightly as he grinds our body unconsciously. I looked up at him before I laugh at his uniqueness. Who ever thought that Draco Malfoy, the prince of Slytherin, would prefer some food than sex? I shake my head as I peck his lips one more time before I release him to his seat to let him eat his meal.

"Then, lets we eat." I said as I grin at him.

"Pervert. Who would guess that Harry Potter, the boy who lives, such a pervert and sex maniac?" he snort at me.

"I'm not sex maniac, not even a pervert." I roll my eyes at him. "I'm just Draco's maniac. You should understand that I'm being deprived of your body and intimate touch since I'm eleven years old." I continue for him. He coughs loudly as he choke on his meal. I laugh at him as I patted his back to help him stop his choke.

"Are you trying to kill me, Potter?" he growl at me as his cough reduced. He sip his tea slightly before he glare at me.

"No, I don't. I'm barely got you to lose you again." I grin goofily at him as I eat my pie again. "Sorry." I snort as I tried to hold my laughter again.

"I'll get you later. I promise you." He snarls at me as he slit his eyes when he glares at me though his blush told me different meaning. I laugh again as I kiss his pouty mouth before I continue to eat. He rolls his eyes before he too eat his own meals.

When we finished with our meal, I raise my hand to call the waiter again. And here I am, staring at him one more time as I'm waiting for the waiter to come to us. I still can't believe that the beautiful man before me is my boyfriend now. My first crush becomes my lover now. I smile wider as he quirk his brow at me questioningly. I smile softly as I take his slim hand in mine and grip it tight the same moment when the waiter comes to us.

"May I help you?" she asked again with smile in her lips but her eyes scrutinized our clasping hands.

"Yes, could you bring our bill please?" I said, never diverting my attention from my lover.

"A moment please." She answered coldly. Draco quirk his brow as he followed his gaze at the waiter before he rolls his eyes and looking back at me. He smiles softly as I kiss his knuckle when the waiter comes back with our bill. "This is your bill, Sirs." She said bitterly when she can't have one of the man's attentions for her. I look at her slightly as I noticing her bitter note in her voice as I take the bill from her. She walks away when I check the bill and put some galleon on the table along the bill. I stand up and offer my hand at my love. He takes my hands and I pull him at me. I hug him closely and apparated us into my house at Grimmauld Place.


A/N : Review pleaseeee…