Okay, here I was reading a random Fem-Naruto fanfic when this idea, completely unrelated to what I was reading, popped into my head and wouldn't go away until I wrote it down, so here it is; ENJOY!

Disclaimer; I don't lay claim to any copyrighted material or anything else you recognise from other fanfics.

Bold: Jutsu Names

Italics: Thoughts

Also, in this fic Naruto was born three years before his graduating class and failed the yearly exam three times, so he is roughly fifteen and a half years of age.


Anko sighed in bliss as she took a bite out of her Dango as she left the rather large take-out. It may have only been nine thirty, but due to missing her tea due to the blonde brat that had stolen the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing, then spending a good few hours searching for him until the situation was resolved twenty minute ago, she was absolutely starving! She was about to take another bite when a solid lump crashed into her, causing her to drop the tray of Dango as she stumbled.

"Sorry about the Psycho-Snake Lady," a cheerful voice chirped from below her on the floor, accelerating her already rapidly growing anger, "here, let me buy you some more!" Anko, having identified the target of her rage upon seeing his blonde hair and whisker marks, halted all plans to feed him to her Snake Summons when her mind caught up to what he said.

"Hey, Chef-San," Naruto shouted to the man behind the counter as he dragged the still Shocked Anko through the door, "two more of what ever she just ordered, and another round for everyone else as well." This last bit was followed by cheers from the rest of the patrons. Sure they may not like the kid, whether it be from being targets of his pranks, annoyed by his yells of being the future Hokage or just because of the Kyuubi, free food was free food and better yet, the brat was paying for it.

Anko, having finally recovered form her shock, gazed impassively at the blonde who sat opposite the table to her. After a few minutes of this, she broke the silence as her Dango arrived. "So Gaki, should you really be blowing your money like this? And what's the occasion, last I heard you failed the Gennin exam before stealing a valuable and dangerous Village Jutsu Scroll."

"Well yeah," Naruto said, his excitement and joy not dimming in the slightest, "I failed the exam, but just on that stupid Bunshin Jutsu, but after that Mizuki came to me and told me that if I can steal the Hokage's Forbidden Scroll of Seals and learn a Jutsu from it, I'll pass a make-up exam and become a Gennin." Here, Anko raised her eyebrows in thought; by the sounds of things, and backed up by Naruto walking free, it sounded like Anko would get a new plaything in the morning. Nodding at him to continue, Anko took a bite out of her new Dango as she motioned to the waiter to bring a bottle of Sake.

"Well anyway, after Mizuki left I rushed straight to the Hokage Tower and got the scroll from the Hokage's vault and was just about to leave when Hokage-Ji-Ji came back from his lunch early and caught me bu-"

"Wait hold up," Anko interrupted, an incredulous look on her face, "you mean to tell me you stole this thing in the middle of the day, and you were only caught because the Hokage finished his lunch early?"

"Yeah, I know! Those ANBU Guards Suck! Anyway, I quickly knocked Ji-Ji out using my special technique," "Huh," Anko thought, that explains why we weren't mobilised until half five if he used that Jutsu." And then ran to the meeting place Mizuki gave me. Then, I almost passed over the Kage-Bunshin Jutsu since it was another dumb Clone Jutsu, but then I though 'what the hell' and tried it anyway. After mastering that one, I spent the rest of the time until Mizuki arrived learning other Jutsu, although the only other ones that weren't suicide ones were all made by the Nindaime Hokage, and some of them were really weird, but it said it was good for information gathering so I learned them anyway."

"Uhuh," Anko said, listening intently as she motioned for more Sake and Dango, "what's so weird about them?"

"Well, the tamest one," Naruto said, gaining an evil glint in his eyes as leaned forward and his voice dropped to a whisper, causing to Anko to lean closer, "was as Suiton Jutsu called 'Tentacle Paradise'" he finished, leaning back as a massive blush spread across Anko's face. "Anyway, when Mizuki and Iruka-Sensei showed up, and Mizuki revealed himself to be a traitor when he revealed the secret behind the Fox and him working for some Pedo-Snake, I beat him using Kage-Bunshin and Iruka-Sensei passed me for being able to do an advanced Bunshin Jutsu."

"Well that explains why you're not upset about failing," Anko said, repressing the anger she felt at the possibility of Orochimaru being involved, "but what about blowing your money?"

"After I beat Mizuki, I decided keeping what ever he had on him would be fair compensation to him tricking me like that. Turns out, he had all his Ninja equipment and all his money sealed up with him so that was a couple of hundred thousand already, but once I returned the Scroll to Hokage-Ji-Ji, he paid me for completing one B-rank and two A-rank missions."

Seeing Anko's raised eyebrow, though mistaking the doubt for surprise, he continued. "Yeah, I know. Beating the snot out of Mizuki was classed as a B-Rank for 'revealing and incapacitating a Chuunin-ranked traitor to the village', returning the scroll was an A-rank retrieval mission and the fact I stole it in the first place, and was only caught by sheer luck was an A-rank Hokage-Ji-Ji called 'revealing a fatal flaw in the Village's defences'. So after counting through all the money I suddenly had, and putting away enough to buy my entire apartment complex, a years worth of food and a months worth of new gear and outfits, I still had a couple million with no idea what to do with it when a brilliant idea came to me: PARTY!"

Hearing that, and seeing the proof in Naruto's Fuuinjutsu Bank Book, that stored money and showed how much was left, Anko gained a massive grin as she shouted over to the waiter, "Oy, bring us two glasses, another bottle of Sake and keep it flowing! The Gaki's celebrating his promotion to Gennin and he has a couple of million to blow!"

The waiter, hearing the kid was a Gennin, lost all feeling of doubt and nervousness about providing him with alcohol, but hearing the amount of money the kid had ensured those feelings were swept away by greed. If the kid had that much to spend, he would keep the bar open all night to keep them here.

The next day, Naruto groaned as the midday sun shone in his eyes. Groaning again, he started rubbing his face against Anko's breasts to try and block out the light; causing Anko to moan in her sleep, although for a different reason that him. Last night was the best in his life, even better for the fact he could remember all of it despite the vast quantities of alcohol he had consumed. He and Anko had tried out several of the Nindaime's Jutsu and when Anko realised his Oiroke no Jutsu wasn't just a regular Henge into a scantily clad female version of himself, but an actual full body physical transformation, she all but demanded he transformed into a girl before starting a two hour lesbian session.

Looking at her naked shoulder, Naruto smiled as he licked the Whirlpool-like mark. After hearing about how her former Sensei gave it to her, and how it always hurt and gave her trouble controlling her Chakra, he acted on instinct without realising and sunk his teeth into the mark; changing it into what it is now. While they didn't have time to get a Medic-Nin or Fuuinjutsu specialist to check it out last night, they both somehow new that the new mark had all the benefits the old one should have had, but none of the downsides.

"Stop that." Anko sleepily mumbled as she looked at him through half lidded eyes, "too early. Besides, shouldn't you be at the academy meeting your new Sensei?" that made him freeze before groaning in annoyance. Slipping out of bed, Naruto briefly admired Anko's naked form before he covered her back up when she shivered. He spent the next few minutes stumbling around the room looking for all of his clothes before he sat on the edge of the bed as he got dressed. He was about to get up and leave when Anko's hand shot out and grabbed his.

"When your finished meeting your Sensei, come back here and tell me how it went."

"sure thing Anko-Chan." Naruto mumbled as he pecked her lips before getting up and leaving, Anko merely snuggled into her bed with a smile on her face.

Ten minutes later, Naruto had managed to walk the two hundred metres to the academy, and was now groaning for the thousandth time that day as he stopped and covered his eyes when he passes yet another window in the hallway and the harsh, sudden glare of the sun doubled the pounding in his head. Last night was the best of his life sure, but he really could be doing without the hangover he was currently suffering from.

A sudden scream of 'You're late!' from around the corner made him clasp his ears in pain as the pounding tripled and a violent wave of nausea swept through him. That, coupled with the remark of 'hmm, my first impression of you two is that I don't like you.' only confirmed his belief that today just wasn't worth getting out of bed for and more importantly, leaving the warmth and comfort of Anko's body.

"Ahh, and here's the missing third teammate now." A tall, Cyclops with gravity defying white hair said as Naruto turned the corner. As Kakashi looked over his Sensei's son, he smirked in amusement at his state: ruffled, unwashed hair – Check. Crumpled clothes put on back to front – Check. One missing sock – Check. Pale face – Check. Yep, Naruto was experience his first hangover; a brotherly sort of affection washed over Kakashi as he thought that he couldn't be more proud. When the smell of sex reached him, his smirk became a wide, shit-eating grin as he realised that yes, he could be more proud. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Sakura about to scream at the Blonde and quickly covered her mouth; if Naruto was sick now in the academy, Kakashi would have to be the one to clean it up. With a rushed 'Meet me on the roof', he quickly Shunshined away, taking the blonde with him.

When the dizzying mess of sounds and colours ended, Naruto silently promised to never eave the bed the next time he had a hangover as he puked up everything in his stomach over the roof railing where Kakashi placed him. After a minute of non-stop puking, he once again groaned as he collapsed onto is back, Kakashi dragging him away from the edge and against an air vent just in time for Sasuke and Sakura to arrive.

"Well then kids, why don't we introduce ourselves?" Kakashi said once the other two had sat down, only briefly glancing at Naruto.

"Umm, could you go first Sensei, show us what to do?" Sakura asked.

"Hmm, My names Hatake Kakashi, you're too young to hear my likes and dislikes. My dreams, hmm…. Well I have lots of hobbies. Now Pinky, your turn." He said, eye-smiling at the sweat-drops two of his students gained. "All we learned was his name!" Sakura and Sasuke thought. Naruto, on the other hand, was to busy trying to settle his stomach and migraine to actually try and hear what was going on.

"I'm Haruno Sakura, the thing I like is…" Sakura said, blushing at the pause, "well the person I like is…" cue Fan-girl squeal. "Umm, should I say my dream for the future? OH My!" cue second squeal as well as a small nosebleed. "The thing I dislike is Naruto." She finished in a deadpan voice.

"Okay then… Emo, your up." Kakashi said slowly, trying to wrap his head around Sakura's introduction.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke said in a bored voice, though still managing to emphasise his Clan name. "I have no hobbies, few likes and many dislikes and my dream isn't really a dream, but an ambition I will make real. I'm going to resurrect my clan and kill a certain man."

"Cool!" Inner Sakura screamed as Outer Sakura gained hearts in her eyes and began to drool.

"I thought so." Kakashi sighed as he thought of ways to beat the Emo out of him.

"Ooh, my Head". Naruto thought.

"Well then Mr. Sunshine and Daisies how about you?" Kakashi said, directing his attention to his last (and secretly favourite) student.

"Huh?" Naruto groaned, realising everyone was looking at him.

"Give your name, likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams for the future."

Kakashi replied, eye-smiling again.

"Right, my names Uzumaki Naruto, I like Ramen, money, Sake, Dango and Snakes." Naruto started, only to pause and clutch his head. "Dango and Snakes?" Kakashi thought, another shit-eating grin appearing behind his mask. "Anko? And he's still alive?"

"I dislike hangovers, screaming pink Banshee's and currently, loud noises and fast movement." Naruto continued before once again pausing to clutch his head.

"Yeah right Dobe, I doubt you know what a hangover feels like." Sasuke scoffed. Naruto was about to retort, but stopped himself just in as he realised it would only make his headache worse. "Huh, now I realise why Shikimaru says 'troublesome' so often."

"Now, now Sasuke-Kun, Naruto is currently displaying all the classic signs of a hangover and if I were to guess, I would say it's gonna last a while." Kakashi said, smirking at Sasuke's glare for being proven wrong in public.

"My hobbies are training and my dream is to surpass the Nindaime; his Jutsu are awesome." Naruto finished.

"The Nindaime?" Kakashi muttered in disbelief, "you got that far into the scroll, and she let you use them?"

"Uhuh." Naruto confirmed, his eyes glazing over as a trail of blood descended from both his nostrils.

"Right then," Kakashi said five minutes later, a hint of awe in his voice, "Meet me at training ground 7 in five days at 5am; don't be late." He finished before he Shunshined away.

"I was right," Naruto thought as e rose unsteadily to his feet, "this just wasn't worth getting out of bed for." Once he was finally on his feet and the world had stopped spinning, he started making his way back to Anko's, not even realising or caring his teammates had left before he actually began getting up.

In the Hokage's office several hours later, Sarutobi had just was just wrapping up his meeting with the Jounin and a few of the academy instructors when Kakashi walked in, his head down as he read his Icha-Icha.

"Ahh, Kakashi, now that you're here you can tell us about your team." Sarutobi said, making everyone turn their attention to the back while Kakashi quickly hid his book and looked up before Kurenai saw it.

"Well, the Uchiha is an Emo flight-risk with nothing currently special going for him except his name, Sakura is a pink haired, Fangirl version of a trained parrot who can only spout out facts so long as she's read them beforehand." Kakashi said, smiling at the face-plants people were doing.

"And Naruto? I was told he didn't turn up to the graduation lecture and team assignments."

"Well, ignoring what the academy files say about him as they've already proved to be a pile of shit," Kakashi replied, ignoring the instructors indignant faces and spluttering, "he's resourceful, has good stealth, massive Chakra reserves and is really quick to pick up Jutsu if they interest him. Oh yeah, he turned up seconds after me"

"And what about his personality?" Sarutobi ground out, getting fed up of Kakashi deliberate avoidance.

"I'm reserving that for their test in five days." Kakashi said, "Naruto wasn't really in the best of states. It seems he decided to celebrate with a bang yesterday and ended up going home with a girl. Did you know he learnt the Nindaime's Jutsu from the Forbidden Scroll last night?"

Sarutobi, after imitating a fish in disbelief, sighed and was about to dismiss everyone when the door slamming open interrupted him and once again, drew everyones' attention to the back of the room.

"Sorry I'm late Hokage-Sama." Anko rushed out as she ran in, "I had along night last night and I only just got out of bed."

Sarutobi was about to reprimand her about being late, but paused upon seeing Kakashi's smirk turning into a full blown grin. "Anko?" he thought connecting the dots, "And he's still alive? GO NARUTO!" "That's fine Anko," he replied, a grin of his own forming, "but before I dismiss everyone, I have just one question, which Jutsu was better, the 'Tentacle Paradice' or the 'Suction Cup'?"

Instantly, Anko's face turned crimson as she started spluttering out denials. She was so preoccupied on wondering how the Hokage found out, because she knew Naruto would never tell anyone, that she didn't notice the Hokage dismiss everyone, nor did she notice everyone's curious glances as they left. What finally snapped her back to the present was Kurenai grabbing her hand and dragging her out of the office; intent on dragging her back to her apartment to interrogate her: the same apartment Naruto was currently sleeping in.


Okay, that's it. Now, as I said earlier this was just an idea that popped into my head and wouldn't leave, but I have no plans to take this any further, or even any ideas on how to do that; therefore this is just a One-Shot. However, should someone wish to turn this into a story, you're more than welcome to, just keep the first chapter the same and also please tell me you are doing so.