Falling
Summary: Follow this song-fic as Lily tell baby Harry about how she and James fell in love. This story contains slight spoilers from Deathly Hallows at the very end. Remember to read and review! -Edited 12/24/12
Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I affiliated with JK Rowling or the Harry Potter books/movies. - Written 7/1/08 and Edited 12/24/12
I've been trying not to love you
I've been putting up a fight
I've been barely holding on
And letting go with all my might
There's a part of me that's empty
I know only love can fill
I'm afraid I'll never find it
And I'm scared to death I will
Harry this is my story on how I feel in love with your father James Potter. The tale begins the week after I returned to Hogwarts, following my parent's funeral. I remember floating through my days in a daze. I went to class, ate meals, did my assignments, and performed my duties as Head Girl; before sleeping and starting a fresh the next day.
I also remember my body willing me to cry for the loss of my parents and sister, who had disowned me, yet I stood tall and proud. At that time I thought if I were to let a single tear drop fall more would continue to fall, and would never stop. Plus, it's not as if anyone else seemed to care about my silent pain, well except for your father who I referred to then as James "bloody" Potter.
James had been my long time rival since our arrival on the Hogwarts Express. I didn't understand why he even cared that my parents were dead, let alone if I was crying or not. Their death and my crying certainly didn't affect him or his prank pulling pals, Uncle Padfoot, Uncle Moony, or Wormtail. Sure he had told me he "loved me" every other day, but back then I knew it had to be a lie. Who believes someone who said I love you every day in a joke or prank like manner for what 7 years? I know I certainly couldn't, at least not then.
Our whole love story really began one cold and gloomy winter day when your Daddy came up to me and said, "You know crying is perfectly natural in situations like these. Not crying will only make it worse, so I am going to make you cry. It is the only way to begin rebuilding this new life of yours. If you won't cry willingly then I will just come up with a way to make you cry myself." At that moment I remember being ticked off and snapping at him to leave me alone; I could and would live my life like I wanted to. At this moment, I think back and am touched at how much he cared and had taken the time to notice my silent suffering.
Help me fall
Help me fall
If you care for me at all
Help me fall
Help me fall
That night he came up to my bedroom, in the head girl's room, and knocked. I refused to let him in and figured he would just leave me alone and go away, but that stubborn dad of your wouldn't give up. I resorted to yelling a few words you should never say love.
A few minutes passed before a snap broke through the silence. I looked up to see Daddy with my lock in hand and his wand being stuck in his pocket.
"Potter what do you want?" I had growled at him, not pleased in the least that he had entered my room un-invited.
"You know what I want. I want you to let it go and just cry already." He said, in a soft voice that surprised me. I was so shocked I completely blanked for a moment, but quickly regained myself and snapped again, "No I don't need to nor do I want to and why do you even care so much anyways?"
His answer was simple and honest back then, "Because I know what it is like to hold in that kind of emotion and I know how you feel right now. You feel like if you cry you won't stop because your heart is so broken inside. You also are feeling like it never will mend and that you are missing something inside of you." I remember the honesty and love that shown through his eyes. Back then the only question in my mind was "is James bloody Potter in love with me?"
I've been holding conversations
When I haven't said a word
I've been speaking with my silence
And praying that you heard
How does he know I feel that way? How could he? These thoughts continued to run through my head, but I simply said, "How do you know that?" with a nasty tone.
"My parents died a couple of months ago. Remember when I was gone for a week because of an injury?" he said, in such a sad tone. This shocked me because I did remember that very week. It was the week I had been restless and unable to sleep because of the worry I felt for him. In a soft whisper I said, "Yes, I remember"
I'm a walking contradiction
I'd hate to be my heart
It keeps trying not to love you
But it don't know where to start
"Yes, well in that week I realized that crying was a good thing because it would help me move on a little and that it wasn't actually a weakness. Those tears of grief where good for me; it let that frustrations, grief, and agony out. They were able to allow me to think of those happy times, the times my parents would have wanted me to remember. So just cry Lily, it will make you feel a bit better, I promise. I will be right here for you."
I remember saying No, but to my horror my vision had began to blur and I felt a wet dampness on my face. Before I knew it he had knelt down before me, pulling me into his warm embrace. As I let strangled sobs go he had began to rubbed circles into my back, murmured sweet nothings in my ear.
Help me fall
Help me fall
If you care for me at all
Help me fall
Help me fall
"I love you with all my heart" he had said, at one point, shocking me to the core. To be honest with you Harry that was the first time I truly believed him. I also had this odd feeling that I loved him to. His words and comfort made me realize he actually wasn't that git I thought him to be. Your dad was actually a kind, gentle, sweet guy who just had not known how to express his love properly before.
I've got to learn to re-trust
To turn me into us
And I really don't know if I can again
After another minute of crying I realized I did actually trust him and new that he wouldn't do anything stupid like the other guys that I had had in my life prior to him. I actually was in love with him. Yes that's right I actually had fallen in lovewith James bloody Potter, your father. Plus, I knew he obviously loved me because one, he was one sitting there holding me and Two he was showing and expressing how much he cared.
"You can trust me Lily. I will never let anyone hurt you and I will never hurt you, you know? I love you so very much."
I was still to grief stricken and shocked by my revelations to say anything, or do anything, besides cry into his chest and cling to him with all of my might.
Help me fall
Help me fall
If you care for me at all
Help me fall
Help me fall
Once I finally stopped crying several minutes later I had no tears left to cry, even if I wanted to and for some reason I felt happy, loved, and safe. Safer then I had ever felt before and I knew then I had to let go and trust a man again, this man, because I couldn't live without love, without his love. So I finally was able to whisper,
"I love you too. Thank you for holding me, you were right I needed and wanted to cry. Just don't let me go. Please!"
"I will never let you go Lilly flower, no matter what. I love you and always will. Will you be my girlfriend? I promise I will not hurt you if you just let me into your life."
"I will be your girlfriend James. I am giving you the key to my heart, just don't take it and break it like every other guy I have given it to."
"I won't, I will cherish it with all my life." To this day your Daddy has stayed true to that promise. Now, Harry it is time we go to sleep.
I've been trying not to love you
I've been putting up a fight
I've been barely holding on
Letting go with all my might
Epilogue
Lily and James Potter were able to spend a full year with their beloved Harry, until October 31's when we were betrayed by Peter and killed by the Dark Lord. Lily gave Harry all of her love and that is what allowed him to be able to survive the killing curse, becoming the only person to survive it. The killing curse would give him the nickname the-boy-who-lived.
Harry went through many battles with the Dark Lord and ended up finally killing him in the last battle of Hogwarts. Soon after his victory he married Ginerva, Ginny, Weasley. They were madly in love with each other much like James and Lily had been. You could tell they loved each other by the way their faces would light up when the other came into the room. It was priceless.
They ended up having three children together: James Sirius after his grandfathers, Albus Severus after Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape, and then Lilly after her grandmother.
Authors Note:
I hope you greatly enjoyed my version of what made Lily finally realize she was in love with James Potter. Also, my take on how Lily and James finally became a couple.
I hope I got all the details right, I tried. Notice I didn't put the year in October because I was not sure of it and was too lazy to dig a book out and look. So if someone would so kind as to supply it I would be very happy and you would be the first person to read my next new fanfiction. So yah, let me know and if there are any errors you see in this be it spelling, grammar, or details let me know. It would be greatly appreciated. Also, please check out my other stories and as always review, review, review because I love reviews. Plus, I promise to respond back as soon as I get them.
Morgan aka Auntiem911
P.S. The song I used for this song fanfiction is entitled 'Help Me Fall,' by Mark Wills. I saw it when I was browsing through songs and decided I would try to use it in a song-fiction hope it works.
Authors Note on the Edit:
I hope by editing and adding more depth to this story I will gain more reviews and intrest. Plus, I felt it was time for me to send some love its way. I hope you enjoy it and love it as much as I know due.
Note that there are additions and some subtractions to this new journey. The most noticeable being the storying being told by Lily to baby Harry.
Keep your eyes open for a possible sequel to this, from James' point of view. Let me know if your interested or have other ideas for it or even this story. It is important to constantly evolve and add to writing as you grow.
