Title: A Kick From the Inside ( written for the Het MPreg Ficathon )
Main Characters Xander, Buffy, Joyce, and Willow
Genre: Gen
Setting: S3. Begins right after Choices and a few days before The Prom.
Warning:Male Pregnancy. Unreliable Narration. Plus morning sickness. Lots of morning sickness.

Big thanks wrapped in tight hugs to sparrow2000 and singer_shaperfor being my wonderful betas.

Chapter One

It was starting again. His hand flew to his mouth and he squeezed his eyes shut, anxiety rising as his stomach lurched. Feeling the large book on his lap starting to slip, he clutched it with both hands and then carefully put it on the table. He was not getting another lecture from Giles on the age and rarity of his precious dusty books. As nausea took hold, he jumped to his feet and knocked his chair down, catching the startled looks on Buffy's and Willow's faces.

Keeping her finger on the page she was reading, Willow slowly closed her book and eyed him with sympathy. "Chinese food poisoning again?"

Buffy's nose scrunched up. "Which Chinese takeout is that?"

"I…" Xander burped and felt the foul taste of his lunch in his throat. "I have to go."

He ran out of the library, pushing the disturbed stares that followed him to the back of his brain. His only priority at the moment was to get to the bathroom before he made a mess in the school halls. He made it to the bathrooms safely, though the toilet stalls felt as if they were miles away, so he hurled himself against the sink as his lunch exploded out of his mouth.

He inhaled, wiping his lips with the back of his hand and gazing down at the vomit-covered basin. Turning on the water, he washed his face and then started splashing the icky chunks of food, willing them to slide into the drain. He released a despairing sigh when he discovered that there were no paper towels by the sink, so he walked into the toilet to get some.

Dampening them with a little water, he started to wipe the mess on the sink. His desperate attempts not to look at his face in the mirror had been unsuccessful, and now he was face to face with the Grinch. His face was less green now, but his eyes were definitely red and he couldn't wash the exhaustion off his face no matter how many times he splashed it.

His hand hesitantly brushed against his not-so-flat stomach, reassuring him that he was definitelygoing insane. The sickness was getting stronger and more frequent, and he knew that Buffy and Willow were beginning to suspect something. Soon, he'd find himself faced with an intervention and the questions would attack him from all sides.

He was in deep shit. The universe was screwing with him, being its usual scumbag asshole. And speaking of holes, he slipped a shaking hand into his pants, hearing his heartbeat drum in his ears. And there it was. The freaking newhole.


Xander instinctively tugged on his oversized shirt when he caught Cordelia staring at his stomach. Fortunately – and he couldn't believe he was thinking this – a new wave of nausea took Cordelia and everyone else off his mind in one fell swoop. Things like this made him reconsider going to school, maybe even just dropping out. What was the point anyway? It wasn't like he had a shot of going to college. And it was only four weeks 'til graduation. So, technically school was already over.

Cordelia was coming over to him. No. No. No. He had to get out of here. He started toward the cafeteria doors, but the stench of meat loaf made him want to barf.

"Wrong way. Gym is the other direction." Cordelia's scornful voice stabbed his ears.

Shouldn't turn around, he thought. Shouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing his vomit face. Better lose vomit face altogether before disaster stroke. The cafeteria's doors swung open and his hands flew to his mouth to block the gagging that would inevitably lead to the barfing.

"Gosh," Cordelia said, raking her eyes over his stomach. "If I'd known any better I'd say you're competing with your dad over who's got the biggest beer belly."

Making jokes about his folks again. Classic Cordy. Maybe he should spray the vomit on her shiny shoes.

"Gee, are you gonna, like, throw up?"

He spun around and gagged, but nothing came out. Shit, dry heaving at the worst possible moment.

"Nice try." Cordelia took a step back, her face a picture of disgust and loathing. "Worse luck next time."

She spun around and strode away, leaving him gagging on saliva, surrounded by pointing and laughing students.


He nibbled on his lip when he caught the shocked look on Buffy's face. She obviously didn't expect to find him sitting on her front door steps an hour after midnight with a duffel bag resting next to him at that.

"Xander?"

He forced a bitter smile. "Hey, Buff."

She looked between him and the bag for a minute. The silence was so thick that something tightened in his chest and it hurt.

"Can I…" He swallowed. "Can I crash here tonight?"

Her eyebrows went up, but she answered without hesitation. "Of course."


He could hear the murmurs drifting from the kitchen, louder than Lucy and Ethel on the living room TV screen. He hadn't considered that Mrs. Summers might object to him sleeping on their couch. He'd assumed that since she'd come to terms with Buffy's slayerness, she wouldn't mind. She'd never minded him being in Buffy's bedroom, but he'd never been there without Willow's company.

His nails dug into his skin. Would she toss him out? Buffy wouldn't do that, but her mom might not approve of him spending the night. Maybe it would be for the best. His heart felt like it was on the verge of bursting from awkwardness and mortification. Showing up outside her house with nowhere else go to wasn't exactly the hard part; the hard part would be the opening up about why he was here.

The sound of approaching footsteps made his heart beat even faster. His gaze dropped to his hands on his lap, staring at the marks his nails had left.

A glass of water appeared in his field of vision. He eyed the hand holding it for a second before looking up, his heartbeat slowing down as he was captured by the warmth of Mrs. Summers' smile. It seemed like he must have been staring at her for awhile, because her smile wavered and her eyebrows knitted in concern. Accepting the glass he took a sip, wincing at the way the icy water washed down his dry throat.

Buffy sat next to him and watched him silently. Her mother disappeared into the foyer, leaving them alone. He caught a glimpse of her robe as she climbed up the stairs.

Apparently, his stay had been approved. Good, right? Because where else could he go? Obviously not to Willow's. Her mother had a rule against boys going into Willow's room, and he was sure she wouldn't allow him to spend the night in the house. And definitely not to Giles. Too awkward. Too embarrassing.

Talking to Buffy should be easier, but still, it was going to be so hard. God, he hoped he didn't implode. He took his time drinking the water, his gaze fixed on the TV screen, delaying confession time. He couldn't look at Buffy. He couldn't see the look of pity. He could handle shock and confusion, but not pity. Especially not from Buffy.

"I wasn't kicked out," he blurted out, choking on his water. He coughed a couple of times and Buffy patted his back gently.

He mustered the courage to look at her. There was no pity, just mild impatience. He heaved a long sigh. "I left."

"Do your parents know?" she asked softly.

"I told them I was gonna start my road trip before graduation. Told them I've dropped out of school."

Her eyes widened in alarm and worry. "You've dropped out?"

He shook his head. "Not yet."

Her lips parted slightly as she stared at him. "Xander, I… I'm not sure what to say. Why?"

He squeezed his eyes shut. "You've noticed lately how frequently I get sick…" He blinked his eyes open and looked at her. "It's not food poisoning."

"You don't say." She looked like she was holding in a chuckle. "I figured something was going on, but I…"

"You were too busy," he answered for her, his feelings from that night rearing up again. A look of hurt flashed in her eyes, and he knew he was being an asshole, but he couldn't help it. He'd been disappearing to the bathroom more than he could count, and they hadn't had the decency to investigate what was going on with him. He… definitely had to push the bitterness aside now that he had Buffy's attention.

"Xander, you're shaking," Buffy said with concern.

He was shaking and rocking back and forth, and there was a lump in his throat. Oh, God, he felt like he was on the verge of imploding. Pushing the glass to his mouth he drank the rest of the water in one swallow.

He eyed the empty glass, still feeling awkward and anxious. "Can I have more?"

"Xander," her voice held a firm tone of impatience that only belonged to the Slayer.

He set the glass down and looked away. "I don't know how to say this." He couldn't look at her, couldn't look at anything, so he hid his face in his hands. "Something happened to me."

"Something demony?"

"Maybe." His voice was muffled by his hands, so he lifted his head and looked straight at the TV. "Yes, yes, something demon-related. I'm sure. There's no way this thing is natural, or what kind of a freak am I?"

"Xander, you're scaring me. What is it?"

"I think…" He looked down at his slightly round tummy. He pointed a finger at it, pressed on its hardness lightly. "I think there's a kid in here."

"A kid?" Buffy frowned in bafflement, which smoothed into a thoughtful look, which blew up into wide eyes and flying eyebrows. "Oh!"

Xander looked away, biting on his lip.

"Oh," Buffy said again.

He heard a sound coming from the stairs. Buffy's mom wasn't eavesdropping on them, was she? Great. Now he was imagining sounds.

"Definitely demon-ness involved," Buffy said carefully. "Wow, Xander, how…"

"Scared," he answered right away, his gaze still on the stairs. "Mostly nauseated. Humiliated, except I'm used to that. But totally scared."

It felt like he had a wall of ice surrounding his heart and threatening to shatter. He did his best to keep it firm and standing, but then Buffy's warm hand slid over his own, enveloping it and making the ice inside melt despite his efforts.

"We'll fix this," she whispered in his ear and he sniffled quietly.

Xander used his other hand to wipe the dampness in his eyes and face. "For all my gripes over my lack of special, thiswasn't what I had in mind." More ice melted when she squeezed his hand, but this time he looked right into her strong face with dampness and puffy eyes. "I wanna be old boring normal Xander again."

"You will be," she reassured him. "Giles will figure out…"

He jerked his hand out of her hold as if she electrified him. "We're telling Giles?"

She gave an apologetic shrug. "Kinda have to. We're telling the whole gang. You know too well how much of a research expert I am."

He threw his face back into his hands. "Oh God."