"Regina.." Emma breathed and took the woman trembling hands, trying to ground her, let her know she was with her. She never before saw her so lost, like her mind took her to the darkest places, to the deepest memories.

Her breath was shallow and her eyes seemed blurry, not with tears, not with sorrow or sadness but with horror, the kind of horror only life experience can throw upon you.

They never talked about it before, whenever Emma brought the subject up Regina just brushed it away and kissed her hard, as if she tried to erase something, forget something. And Emma didn't push, maybe she should have, maybe if she did she wouldn't have made the mistake of buying a ring, or kneeling down and asking, maybe the love of her life wouldn't have drown in her own mind, wouldn't have whimpered quietly, a lonely tear sliding down her cheek. Maybe if she would have pushed Regina to talk about it she wouldn't be the one who pushed her back into her worse nightmare, no, memory.

"I can't.." Regina suddenly mumbled, shaking her head again and again, her grip on Emma's hands getting stronger with each movement as if she tried to bring herself back to reality.
But what worries Emma the most were her words, she kept whispering apologies over and over again "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.."

"Don't," Emma lifted their joined hands and palmed her cheek "It's ok,"

"I want forever," Regina tried to explain, "I just.."

"I know," Emma forced a smile, "We don't have too,"

"I love you," Regina promised "so, so much,"

"I love you too," she watched as a red lip quirked up and a genuine smile graced Regina's face before she leaned in and kissed her softly.