I'm not even sure how it all started. I think it was when you came to talk to me in the library. I never even liked you before; I thought you were insufferable and viciously mean. But you came to talk to me, asked me for some help. After that you came to talk to me whenever you had a chance to do so, though you never seemed to do it in front of your friends. When your friends were around, you were acting like you used to, and avoided even looking at my direction. I asked you about it and you said they wouldn't understand your kind of friendship. I kind of knew what you meant, since I hadn't told any of my friends about talking to you and making friends with you. After all, I was a Gryffindor, friends with Harry and Ron and you were a Slytherin, friend of Draco's. I knew my friends, especially Ron would have gotten mad at me and I believe Draco would have done something bad to you if he knew you were being friends with me. Draco called me a Mudblood all the time, I eventually couldn't care less what he thought of me. But you never called me that when we were alone and when we were together, just you and me, you were nice. You were kind and thoughtful, always listened what I had to say and I started to trust you over time. It was really exciting when we met, sort of a forbidden thing. I grew to be even bigger forbidden thing when you kissed me, and I kissed you back. I can still remember the excitement because it was so wrong and so right and nobody would ever know about it. I also knew there was no turning back. We set up meetings and went further and further every time. I have no need to tell the details as in they no longer mean anything to me.
I remember the warm spring night we spent outside by the lake hidden under the trees. You looked into my eyes and told me you loved me. I loved you too although none of that matters anymore. When the summer came, school ended and holidays began. You spent one whole week at my home; we never told my parents about us, you were just a friend from school. I used to think it was the best week of my life. After you left I went to the Burrow and spent the last days of summer there, missing you and waiting for the school to begin.
The first day of our sixth year at Hogwarts I was waiting for a chance to talk with you. We met late at night, same place, and same time. I told you about my summer, you told me about yours. We talked till the dawn broke. The sixth year didn't really differ from the fifth. We continued meeting each other in secret. But I started to notice a change in you; you were quieter and hardly spoke anything. It went on for weeks until I asked you what was wrong. You told me you were dating Draco and that though you loved me you couldn't be with me anymore. After that we didn't meet each other, didn't speak to each other or even looked at each other. I hated myself for being so pathetically in love with you. I hated myself for trusting you. You made me hate myself, and I hated you for that.
I was emotionally exhausted, swearing how I would never let myself fall in love again. You didn't want to make it work, you chose the easier way. We briefly met once when the spring was getting closer, and you told me how scared you were. You were scared of Draco, scared of Voldemort. I felt really sorry for you. I told you that you could be with me, that we would look after you with Harry and Ron. You refused my offer, told me that there was no turning back. I gave you a very confused glare; you lifted your sleeve and showed me the Dark Mark. I flinched at the sight. You ran off, leaving me there with million questions in my mind. After that I barely ever saw you. I felt a huge distance growing bigger between us. You were with Draco those few times when I saw you. You showed no sign of fear, regret or whatsoever. I gave up hope, felt so numb and wondered if any of it ever even happened. Unfortunately it had happened and I tried to forget it all. I cried every night, unable to sleep but I came to a point where I decided you weren't worth crying for.
The war took many casualties, but it did end eventually. I got my life in order, but my heart was cold. I was bitter; I hated you more every day. All I wanted was to get some sort of revenge. Make you pay for everything. I got my chance when you appeared on my doorstep one night. And you practically begged me to take you back. I saw the opportunity and took it. You were vulnerable. Actually your ignorance amuses me. How did you not stop to wonder my motives for even a second? Did you honestly think I'd just forget everything? Did you not notice how easily I took you back?
I played along for few months; you were still refusing to tell anybody. I didn't really mind. I gained your trust again, made you fall in love with me. I never forgot how you betrayed me. How you cheated on me and played with my feelings. You should have known better. You should have known better when you finally told your parents about us, they of course didn't want to hear from you again. It was not the fact that I was a girl, but the fact that I was not pure-blood. You should have known better. Oh, how I laughed sarcastically under my breath. You also told Draco you never wished to see him again. You really made it so easy for me.
I had absolutely nothing to lose. I got some things sorted out and I was ready to leave. I wanted to start a whole new life. You however, had walked straight into my trap. I would leave you with nothing but a broken heart. So the day came that I had waited since you crawled back to me. First I thought of staying and watching you, but I decided just to leave you a note. I wouldn't give you the pleasure of "seeing me for the last time". So I wrote you a note with a very few simple words, which you could not misunderstand.
I'll never be yours. You really should have known better.
Revenge is sweet as they say, is it not?
